Rover92

Hi all I'm a 29 year old male from the UK who has started having counselling for my anxiety issues, 2 weeks ago I've made some mistakes in the past. Mistakes that I, to this day, feel a great deal of guilt and shame over. Well, only yesterday did I find out via Google that what I did was in fact illegal. Of course if I tell my counsellor this he will have to break confidentiality and the thought of him doing that terrifies me. But I feel like what happened could be the key to why i have anxiety and OCD issues. But I can't be 100% on that. Is it worth mentioning it knowing that I could get in trouble for something which may not be relevant to my anxiety? I feel so terribly ashamed of what I did. I was young and we all make mistakes but the thought of opening up to my counsellor about this fills me with dread and terror. I really need some guidance on this as I feel so lost and frightened. What should I do? Please help :(

UPDATE: ive been doing ok ish lately. my anxiety is still, overall, higher than it was before i started running. I'm wondering how long it'll be until my stress levels return to a normal level? i was pretty bad today initally, but come midday i was feeling better. if this keeps up i may have to take up walking instead. its just not worth feeling anxious or stressed for. why inflict that upon myself? it doesnt improve my mood atall, which apparently is what its supposed to do. my sex drive is still non existant. I'm half considering taking a testosterone test. i know anxiety does have an effect on libido but maybe it'd be worth testing my 'T' levels just so i know either way

Interesting. thanks for the advice. it doesnt really affect my life in any measureable way, i dont avoid going places or doing things and I'm able to function perfectly normally. i know the severity of OCD can vary so i suppose thats why im curious as to how necessary therapy is in my particular situation. i don't really see how, for myself, therapy will be worth it if all they're going to tell me is "well, lifes full of uncertainty and we just have to live with it" (sorry if that seems blasè!) because i feel the only thing that seperates me from others is that not knowing things for certain bothers me more than it logically should. i just need to accept that we all have to deal with uncertainty as humans. thats life! I'm pretty happy with my life generally. it's not perfect but who cares? it could be better but it could always be better! oh, and another thing. went for a longer run last night and i felt absolutely fine afterwards. i think i just needed to give my bidy time to adjust to the changes i was putting it through. normal service has resumed ? still a teeny bit anxious but I'm far better than i have been in a good couple of weeks so, I'll chalk that down as a win!

is therapy the ONLY way of overcoming OCD? or does self help work depending on the severity? ive been doing really well since i started running so I'm kinda wondering if i need therapy at all. wishful thinking probably ?

ah, that makes perfrct sense! so i think a sensible idea would be to start a slitghtly less strenuous excercise regime? i dont want to stop exercising but if jogging is making me anxiety worse then clearly, its not worth it. i suppose weightlifting would also increase my anxiety too? as it has the ssme effect on my body as running, i.e sweating, increased heart rate etc thanks for your input!?

hi! thanks for your reply. so i drink tea during the day, I'm a mobile car valeter so our customers are always offering me a cuppa and i feel rude turning it down ! but in answer to your question, no, i dont have any caffeine immediately before or after running. and before i excercise i dont tend to eat anything either. only after when i have dinner do i eat. so it sounds asif i ought to address my anxiety issues before i resume strenuous excercise. thats cool with me. i did say to myself i would try and focus on bettering myself physically this year but clearly that must take a back seat. i can do this ??

hi all I started using this forum in 2017 as thats when my anxiety symptoms began. at that time i was in an u happy relationship which has now (thank god) ended in march 2018 since that time, my anxiety has generally been perfectly manageable. episodically i did become slightly more anxious than normal but this was usually caused by external pressure of some kind. after looking at some very helpful posts about self help i have managed to keep my anxiety WELL under control and I've been much better for a long time ....until lately? i started excercising regularly at the end of January, and over the last month my anxiety has increased quite significantly. i have started using an app called Couch to 5K which aims to have me jogging for 30 mins solid by the end of a 9 week program. i ran for 15 minutes tonight and as i sit here typing away, i feel more anxious than i have done in a long time my libido has plummeted. im single and i have no desire to.....you know.....do THAT, shall we say! looking at porn is no longer pleasureable either. i have read on the interwebs that in some cases, excersing can INCREASE anxiety? rather than combat it. has anyone else on the forum experienced this??

I sometimes worry that I may never find my way out of this wilderness that is OCD. I think it's being fuelled by past mistakes (really awful mistakes) which have trapped me in this mindset of 'Im a bad person. I've tried to say to myself "the size or scale of the mistake doesn't matter, mistakes are still mistakes" I've made these mistakes quite a few times, which then makes me think "surely if I kept on making these mistakes, I must be a bad person?" I suppose this all falls into the rumination category, but I really need to get to the bottom of this as its starting to eat away at me. I need to leave a relationship as its making me unhappy and anxious, which is also causIng anxiety as if I leave then I will look at myself as a bad person for causing sadness in another person. But if I stay I know I will continue to feel how I do now; unfulfilled, under appreciated and abit depressed at times. None of this OCD stuff was happening before this relationship began, so I think this is a huge part of my problem For the first time in ages, I feel like I'm without hope. Alone. I'm worrying about the ramifications of calling time on this relationship and I'm driving myself into despair. please will someone just tell me what I want to hear. Trying to deal with these feelings of guilt and self loathing and anxiety and fear is proving to be a big burden.

I have a similar ocd theme to you. Its terrible. It makes you feel numb and hollow, like you dont know who you are anymore. Theres a constant 'what if' hanging over your head and it terrifies you. i think of OCD as a bully. Instead of giving in to the bully, ignore it. Dont give it the time of day. It might seem hard but you must resist the urge to try and interpret these thoughts, feelings or urges. They mean absolutely NOTHING. The only reason the thoughts keep coming back is because your obsessing over them. Your obsessing over them because your worried they mean something. They do not

So I'm in a relationship which causes me much stress and, as a result (i think) anxiety. Im not sure we should be together anymore as i find the relationship very mentally taxing. Shes much older than me, wants different things and is quite controlling, which i find stressful. Should i remove myself from this relationship in order to recover from my OCD symptoms? (Intrusive sexual thoughts) at times i feel like i just want to cry. Before i met her i was perfectly happy with my life, but since meeting her my anxiety and stress levels have rocketed and i dont see a way of lowering them without us parting. But at the same time i would feel a terrible sense of guilt and sadness as she really deeply cares about me. I told her the other night about my OCD thoughts and she is understanding but i need to put my mental wellbeing before ANY relationship....i feel overwhelmed, having to deal with this 'should i, shouldn't i' mentallity and trying to cope with the intrusive thoughts and worries about the future. Any nuggets of wisdom would be welcome!

So About 2 weeks ago i was feelibg better than i have done in months. The thought had lessened, which meant my mood was good and i had no anxiety. Even when i tried to force the thought it was far less 'potent' and i almost felt unable to picture it fully, as it meant nothing to me. I felt distanced from the thought and the anxiety it brang.It felt as though the part of my brain that had stopped working was spluttering into life! And then last monday it all came flooding back to me woke up feeling anxious and fearful and i havent quite felt the same since .feel like im back to square one! Which is a shame as i honestly thought i'd recovered...i came so close!...never mind. I think i need to go to a GP and ask to be tested for OCD.

For me the anxiety came first, then the thought, or thoughts as it sometimes can be. But the thought that troubles me most is something ive actually seen about 6 months ago...

1. The intrusive thoughts have lessened, but my anxiety has increased. Why is that? 2. I read somewhere that OCD is an anxiety disorder. Does this mean that if the source of my anxiety is removed, the intrusive thoughts will subside, as the anxiety that fuels them is no longer present? If this anxiety doesnt subside then i must relent and request to be tested for OCD once and for all. Ive also been reading up about serotonin deficiency and ibs. Apparently it has a hand in ocd as it regulates mood and stress amongst other things. I do have some symptoms of IBS (of which i wont go into detail!) So i think i need to find ways of de-stressing or, eliminate the source of my stress. Lucky for me, i know EXACTLY where that lies.... Any thoughts people?

Simple question really...Does anyone else feel anxious when they are around the 'subject' of their OCD?

Thanks for clarifying this for me Ashley :-)