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lily17

Bulletin Board User
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About lily17

  • Birthday 10/12/1999

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Intrusive thoughts

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female

Recent Profile Visitors

4387 profile views
  1. Uhh my everyday life is usually staying home or spending time with my grandma, sometimes I meet a friend, watch anime, go for something to drink with my parents and... go to my family mountain home almost every weekend and... therapy. It's becoming a tad boring though...
  2. It is exactly what you just described 😩 I explained it on my first post, I've been obsessed for months with getting a boyfriend because I've never had a serious relationship before or anything, but not just thinking about it, trying all the time to meet someone on Tinder and other dating apps, even Twitter and also with making new friends... I've got dependent behaviour and that's why 😔 but I think OCD might a bit involved too, sigh. It's like I *need* to be with someone, to feel loved, get attention etc. I'm getting therapy for this too but it's just too much stuff to get through in an hour o
  3. You're right about the consent thing, I have to respect if he doesn't want to do it. What I said that I would get mad if he didn't want to do it... maybe I meant "frustrated", I would never force him or someone else, thats for sure 😕 I will take it slow and take your advice, although it's hard because I feel down due to things never working out for me, but it's what you said, it's not a final "no" he even told me that. Time will tell. Thanks for your advice
  4. Nah, it's not my style at all... once and no more. Although I will keep that in mind. Thanks for the info!
  5. Hi Caramoole, thanks for replying! I must say neither me nor him have ever done something like this in a park, with a stranger. It just happened. "It was a crazy thing" as he says, never again tho (he even told me not to do this with someone else, since it could be very dangerous so I think he is trustworthy if he says things like that As to reading signs wrong, I consented to it, I wanted to happen and still he was very careful, asking if I wanted to stop etc. He was very cute too I must say. I feel a little overwhelmed to meet up with him again, even to chat online with him due
  6. Hey there everyone, it's been such a long while since the last time I was around here. I've been doing so well with OCD, like really well I rarely obsess about things for a long time anymore, they kind of fly in my brain and out, and very rarely I perform compulsions, sometimes with my psychologist but I don't even notice they're compulsions anymore since I'm so out of OCD now... at least until last Thursday night. I had my first sexual encounter (no intercourse) with some guy I met on tinder, and I was trembling with anxiety, because I didn't know the guy (although i knew somehow he was/seeme
  7. Two nights ago I had a dream where I gave into an urge of touching a child, it's all I remember because it's a bit blurry but I know the content of the dream was a huge trigger and it's making me feel very unwell with myself because I wonder if that psychoanalyst was right after all... did I satisfy a deep desire of mine in my dream? I remember feeling physically satisfied but I don't recall my reaction to it when I woke up, I guess I was surprised and worried but I don't recall nothing more I don't know this is... weird and it's bothering me because if you think into it, it could be true
  8. Well, that is under your judgement, I'll say it is an infidelity to me and more people but anyway, I'm not even dating anyone. And as for the guy himself, I really like him and he likes me too but he stated from the beginning that he didn't want anything serious so we're just going with the flow
  9. Wow, first of all, thank you for taking the time to write all of this out! Very appreciated, I needed to be reminded what intrusive thoughts really are, it really seemed I forgot how to deal with them since my coping mechanism is mostly not ruminating/engaging into some other activity etc I almost forgot I have to treat them like trash (or worse) so yeah thanks a lot and best wishes for you too
  10. Hello everyone, I hope you're all doing alright. Me? I wish it was better... I'm currently struggling with infidelity fears because I'm getting to know a guy, and I really like him, it's reciprocate but he doesn't want a serious relationship right now. So, the other day I couldn't refrain myself from asking him if it was okay if I looked flirtatiously at other men on the street and he told me (nicely): "you could even get married and I'd be happy for you." Of course this soothed me for a while, that's what compulsions do, but I'm back on track with this obsession. I don't even have a boyfriend
  11. first step: no ruminating. under any circumstances. then i'll try not to start any more topics and also don't confess to anyone (not even my mum)
  12. i looked at my mom's legs and i got the same sensation, i know i shouldn't compare because ocd can trick me into thinking anything but... yeah i basically reassured myself 😅
  13. can ocd make you feel certain about something you really haven't worried about much for a long time? my ocd started off with a worry of pedophilia-incest and it focused on my then 10 year old sister, who is 13 now. so her body has developed a lot, she's a teen now and the pedophilia worry is far away but i can still be attracted to her, without her being a child anymore, but she's still my sister and it would be so wrong... so what happened was that she was lying on her chest and i looked at her butt, thought it looked very good (which i know is fine, we can just appreciate beauty) but i also
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