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About lily17

  • Birthday 12/10/1999

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD
    Intrusive thoughts

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  1. lily17

    I feel so sick.

    Is there a way of deleting all of my posts?
  2. lily17

    I feel so sick.

    I'm ruminating about this now, I'm thinking I gave her a sexual look since I enjoyed looking at her body and I'm pretty sure she didn't notice but it was sexual harassment anyway and my grandma wants to take me to the hospital
  3. How could I not be if I just realised I acted on a thought?
  4. Do you think so? I don't know what to think anymore. Like I compare the example to my own thing and I think it's the same...
  5. I was reading an article on OCD and the fear of acting out. I'll quote the definition it gives: And then one of the examples: So what happened to me was the following: One day I was sitting next to my sister, kneel to kneel, I had an intrusive thought of touching her kneel for sexual reasons and I had a groinal response, strong one. So instead of touching her, I moved a little and pressed my private parts against the bed to release the tension. So I've acted on the thought. So it's not OCD. I really need help with this one because I'm really confused... She didn't notice I did that.
  6. She doesn't send me any homework anymore. I don't even know.
  7. I'm still seeing my therapist but it's not helping me at all.
  8. So basically I posted a topic on July where I said I looked at my sister as if I wanted to have sex with her and I typed that we exchanged looks but in my mind there's two situations. One, where there is indeed a situation where we're both sitting and we don't talk just look at each other. The other one I'm sitting down and she's standing and I'm looking at her and flirting like??? I don't know what to think if this is false or not but it feels really real
  9. lily17

    I'm in turmoil.

    Pleasw someone. I'm completely devastated
  10. Basically on September my sister came close to me to show me something on her phone and she touched my arm with hers and I liked the feeling it gave me so so I thought 'this is gonna be for sexual reasons' which I now know I meant like I was gonna enjoy the feeling... But I had a boyfriend back then so was it cheating? Was what I did sexual abuse to my little sister?
  11. lily17


    I think I even knew what I was doing was wrong or maybe I thought since I wasn't touching her... But turns out I was because we were making contact arm to arm. I didn't think about that in the moment... I just... I just...
  12. lily17


    Please someone reply please please
  13. lily17


    So the verb 'touch' also means having a contact with someone. She touched me and I didn't move so a contact was made and I said it was going to be for sexual reasons. It was too strong to be just a groinal response so I guess it was actual arousal... So I guess I've sexually abused her. I have to turn myself in.
  14. lily17


    Today is my birthday... And I'm plagued with thoughts. Now my obsession is targeting my 20 yo cousin who took her shirt in front of me and I just... Looked at her breasts partly because I was shocked, felt attracted to them and curiosity. That's not the worse thing because I've been breathing thinking about them I don't know if on purpose or just accidentally but then I've tested myself to think up an image of her breasts and breathe at the same time with the purpose of feeling aroused but not to please myself, you know? Like it was just a test not something to do to enjoy it... So yeah I don't know the answer and the last time I felt like I was falling into the tentation and letting myself go with the funny feeling in my parts that I didn't know if I wanted to go on with it because I was liking the funny feeling or the image in my mind, luckily I stopped. But hell do I deserve to feel this bad even on my birthday? I've been trying not to test myself real hard but I just can't...
  15. I don't fear I'm attracted to him because I know I'm not. I'm just afraid of doing movements thinking of him... Like OCD makes me do these kind of things like I've done now and I don't know why if I didn't have OCD I would never do this ****.