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Charlie ocd

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  1. Yeah concentration started going when i was hearing people outside the building all the time talking about me.I thought just use my headphones and i bought noise cancelling ones too then the concentration got worse.Ended up calling a gp saying i dont feel right in the head i was shaking badly in the mornings and sweating too heavy each night. PICup is there but now i know people stay outside on the fire escape stairs next to my living room wall i told you already.And im sure you have to tell the therapist the thoughts im having there also adult male and female now.After the relapse its given me other themes to deal with. The neagbors underneath are tormenting me all the time now i dont seem to get a break from them unless i listen to the radio.I dont beleave its this psychotic depression ive only just learnt im diagnosed with that recently.The neagbors are saying the things ive been doing and calling me names i want to move but i cant concentrate on doing it or communicate properly.
  2. I asked the mods to deleate the other account permanently i cant log on with that account and look at the answers.I had such a bad time in hospital i wanted it deleated compleatly because i was using my phone while in hospital & the staff had it while it was getting charged.The relapse i had sent me back so many years it was like i had to start all over again.So yeah i could be asking the same questions but im really not aware i was seeking reassurance.I got a new answer on this thread telling me its a compulsion when i stare at the tv i didnt know that before. Took me a while answering because this thread all got to much for me at the time
  3. It is very frightening im terrified if i go out i beleave its really happening because i havent been acting right.My concentration is so bad i have been on clomipremen for just over a month now so it still hasnt had a chance to work.Ive lost count on how long i havent been out its been a long time.
  4. I found out im diagnosed with psychotic depression and my cpn says i hear voices but its never been like this before.Im hearing people outside the building everyday and neighbors underneath i have to keep earplugs in or headphones on.They call me names to do with my ocd but this thread isnt about that.
  5. People on the fire escape stairs listening to the thoughts i have thats what i meant plus trust too i guess.
  6. I didnt see it that way i did say to begin with ive asked this before its just that ive been working on it for a long time now but still its very very hard.Now i know its a compulsion well i hope so.
  7. I told you phil that i changed my name because of the hospital staff and what do you mean by its not going to help me.
  8. I called the crisis number feeling suicidle mentioning i have blades i meant stanely blades but they sent police with shields because they thought i had knifes. a patient in the hospital said a member of staff said i had indecent images in my flat so i reported it to the police saying they must of put it there.It scared the life out of me then my mother told me how all my things were all over the place so she called the police and they did tell her that they did search my flat. I was thinking i could do cbt at home but since noticing more people out on the fire escape stairs im thinking thats not such a good idea.Because they would want to know the type of thoughts im having.Yeah i do beleave the neighbors are listening now and im waiting on another antidepressant to help because i feel i need that help.
  9. It was very tiresome explaining the same thing to different people they sent after all there called a team so they must know already.In the end i just said i dont want to talk about it. The walls are not concrete i starting looking out my spyhole to see if the fire escape light was on at the time the home treatment team came and it was.Yes i must test it by leaving the radio or tv on and going out there.When i was going through it i had police visit me a few times once when the crisis line said i had blades and the second time when i called them saying i wanted to take my life.Then they searched my place when i was in hospital.
  10. Yes my facial expression and eye expression is different when children are on the tv and yes the stare is longer its like im glued to the tv. Since going through what i went through i had the home treatment team coming everyday and i had to explain i had intrusive thoughts about children to each different person they sent.Ive noticed people outside on the fire escape stairs right next to my living room that have probably been listening.So cbt at home prob is a bad idea how can i talk about the thoughts that i have and i havent left the building for a very long time now.Because of what im hearing from outside the building and because im really freaked out and paranoid when im out it must be because of what im hearing. thanks and polar bear yeah thats true
  11. ok dksea cheers yeah ocd can be about anything i dont get out now but once i went to my brothers.We was outside his place drinking then everyone went inside i couldnt sit in front of the tv in fear that others would see how i react to children on the tv.So i stayed in the kitchen my brother came out with others and i got a look off him i didnt like.He knows how i react so thinks the worst and i was watching the tv and there was a child on the tv at the time i didnt feel right and my uncle was there.He was looking at me funny too.
  12. It usualy happens when someone else is in the same room i was confused to weather i have ocd or not and if it was an attraction because why am i starring.Well i hope its a compulsion its just my feelings were mixed up too.What im like on my own is like you mentioned earlier i stare to get used to it so i dont get the thoughts so often.
  13. It is a bad sign because i said attraction or can you get ocd attractions
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