Phil19

I have a perfection issue though I often believe things are tainted if people touch bins or if paint work is blemished. I’ve get yet to defeat this worry.

I got a small chip in my wall however I painted over it sadly it’s notable slight different colour well a bit lighter as it’s fresh paint so that’s made me anxious that the entire room needs painted it a photo to hide the blemish anybody else had this issue?

Since December my congested throat has been bothering me. It’s felt a little clogged and conjested Last night I ate some hot food burned my mouth felt like a lump in my throat almost. I sat next to a heater all day which doesn’t help. But yeah I’ve been having panic attacks every night right now. Not slept too well worrying about covid again or the wife said throat cancer so it’s been awful triggers. But yeah it got worse about 9pm after eating. Do I need to worry? I mentioned before I don’t have a cough temperature or loss of taste.

It’s the newspapers remember they said they would test people every day and at work that hasn’t happened yet. The papers keep plugging vaccine passports the last time I heard such things it was ID cards with Tony Blair. I hope I am over worrying but the biggest trigger for worry is the media. That’s been the problem I actually have ocd about needing news. I check it often 10-20 times a day so I know I have an issue.

I got CBT in 2019 ten sessions and one session in 2020 nothing since I am not too keen on doing it over video calls. My second worry is the COVID jab I don’t want it but worry about covid vaccines banning me from society having no life making it all but mandatory how can I deal with this? I worry they will come upto my door to jab me and if I don’t stop me doing anything?

Not sure but once something becomes spoiled I can’t change my thinking

People may remember I worried about my letter box as my mum put an envelope through it and I worried it had been near the bin. I ended up getting a new door but it’s been contaminated already as a parcel man has put my neighbours parcel in the wheelie bin and put a slip through the door so now I am worried about that letter box as he never obviously washed his hands so the germs are on the letter box?

Yes I struggle with the compilations to be honest. I have a fear of dying these thoughts pop into my head daily. Feels like I can’t escape these thoughts. It would be easy just to touch the ground or not worry about dying but I find that very difficult?

Sadly I have not been able to change how I think. The area is off limits to me it makes me anxious. You say it shouldn’t worry me but my ocd thinks it is. “Forever contaminated” is something I’ve had for a number of years. I wish somebody could say something to relax me maybe they can but the issue is I struggle to change how I see it. Maybe to others cleaning the floor fixes the problem but my ocd says even removing the floor isn’t enough the whole land is contaminated I know that’s not ideal way to think?

So I mentioned how I was worried about the floor as my mum touched the bin and then a bag which was put on my floor. She also gave something which went on my kitchen work top and it also touched my sofa yet none of these worry me too much only the floor? Why would this be or do I need a psychologist to figure it out for me?

I seem to have failed the test then as my wife put an item down on that area affected and I am refusing to use the item. One day it might be an expensive item.

Sadly the thought has become stuck on my head like the front garden. I believe it will never stop worrying until I move house or something this is how my ocd operates. I wish I could change how I seen this or maybe if I cleaned it and felt satisfied. I have read people with ocd who will bleach something and think that’s germs gone my issue is thinking something is forever dirty. This is the problem as it’s much worse than just somebody who will clean which may be ocd too my point is my ocd must be worse when I can’t clean it and feel relief? I have yet to find a cure for thinking something is forever contaminated.

I know your advice is to maybe do nothing not clean it ect but problem is once the worry goes into my head often in it doesn’t go away. No matter what is said my head believes it’s ruined and forever contaminated. Until I can rid myself of that pattern of thinking I can’t be cured?

My mum brought a carrier back into my house today I believed she touched her bins whilst holding the bag. My worry is the ground is contaminated I have these worries often. I have worried about the garden for a year since the wheelie bin was placed in my garden. The good news is the bag she touched was wrapped in two other bags as it was raining today so maybe the bag was clean but because she never washed her hands. It was a present for someone so I know it will go to someone else’s house and go on someone else’s ground but I worry about my own house? Again cleaning it is hard as I worry it won’t be clean?

In January a wheelie bin was placed in my front garden. I took a picture of where it was and was happy my steps to door was clean but not the garden. However problem is I had a photo of where bin was but I lost it when getting a new mobile phone. This is the problem with my ocd I need photos for proof.