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Phil19

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  1. I am feeling a little frustrated as at the wedding I felt better I had less ocd and I had no anxiety feelings. A week or so later the anxiety and ocd has come back. So I know it can go, I know the ocd can get better. Its like I’ve doubled back down in wedding mode. I am still replacing stuff I still have these urges to buy new. I said many times before it’s at a cost of stuff I actually need I am finding for example I own 20 belts. I’ve never had this issue until recently. I give into the urge because I dont know how long I will have the anxiety for. 90% of the ocd jargon I forget. 10% sticks around so I do these replacements to avoid the anxiety. The anxiety is pretty bad that’s the problem.
  2. I feel tangled up in these ideas though. Using some sort or evidence chart may help my ocd. Like ideas for it and ideas against because the issue is when I get an idea in my head doesn’t matter the subject my head says because I had the idea or thought that it must be true.
  3. So do you believe that it’s controlled or nobody else exists?
  4. I have been having issues with this for a few months. To me it’s hard to believe anybody else’s life is real, I feel once im not around the world won’t exist and it’s all in my head? I fear im controlled and my fate is preplanned. So how does this affect me? I guess it makes me feel empty like nothing matters no matter what I do I have no control it’s controlled for me? I know it’s not a healthy way to think, I think about me and me only. It’s hard to digest that somebody else is living a life, doing there own life and I have mine. It feels like my life is the only one in true existence?
  5. I am more chilled after my wedding however I still have the urge to replace belts and stuff that touched my suitcase. If I go to the bottom of the garden what happens is I end up wanting a new belt as I worry it touched the bin with plunger. I must have had about 20 major ocd issues since the wedding but each one I’ve had to bash off and tell myself it’s fine nothing needs replaced or avoided. I have used the stuff. So what can I say I am getting the anxiety and I am getting the ocd however I quickly calm myself down. I don’t feel as much perfection for the wedding now. I still feel the urge to replace stuff the issue is I have little free cash for months I am buying stuff I don’t need instead of stuff I do this is obviously an issue?
  6. Yes I feel I need to be told when I am acting irrationally because often it takes a post on here to avoid buying new. My partner doesn’t seem to reassure me all the time.
  7. I hope to not have ocd that’s the point really. I would rather not have these thoughts and I would rather not respond wanting to replace stuff or avoid using stuff. However I am finding it difficult to change the response
  8. That is true I am still battling with the ring ocd I became scared to touch her hand and freaked that she’s touched my bag. I mean she had an engagement ring on before and it never worried me only this time she has a new ring on top plus the wheelie bin has not been emptied and still has a plunger so these two situations make me worry more than just an engagement ring. Now there’s been a few times I’ve put a toilet seat or plunger in bin and never worried. I know it’s not practical to change rings I mean she touches so much so I worry the ring contains germs despite being washed.
  9. At the hotel the maid gave some extra toilet paper and put them on the toilet brush this freaks me out big time perhaps this is common practice but I’ve never had it happen before I guess people on here would say it’s fine to use that toilet paper but I fear it I would have toilet germs on my hands.
  10. Yes I find it difficult to stop the rumination it’s what takes up hours of worrying for me.
  11. There was pieces of white on the corridor floors I think it’s maybe threads of the towel linen but I worried about putting my bags down and I worry there is toilet germs. I mean some people take bags to public toilets and there may be tissue on those floors but the tissue I wiped my backside with could contaminate the whole hotel?
  12. I went on the journey as my theripst would day. I worried the towels would be dirty after she cleaned the toilet paper off floor so I had to get new towels from reception. Also I mentioned I became worried about touching my partners hands after touching the bin despite her washing them the rings worry me. I feel awful because I have done well to combat many of my ocd worries yet there is more worries get added to my list. It feels like a never ending nightmare my ocd I feel spells of wellness then today I go on the worry train again. I do feel less relaxed now the wedding is over however I still get these odd worries and I ruminate and worry and still get the anxiety. It’s hard to find the energy to respond well all the time sometimes it beats me and I feel the ocd is winning?
  13. My ocd says the maid will spread the toilet paper all over the hotel and my stuff and it may become contaminated. I mean they may mop up or not touch the floor but this is my latest worry I am struggling to see it rationally
  14. Well I think I may need to not avoid staying at the hotel? I mean it maybe has happened before but new worries crop up.
  15. You are correct like this holiday I have wore clothes twice for breakfast and I wanted a shower a I did resist then what happens is another worry takes it’s place?
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