Nikola Tesla

And she’s a senior psychologist

Yeah I started treatment in January this year and was on the waiting list for around 2 years. I feel I would get better help at a specialist OCD clinic. I took a shower last night after nearly 4 months because I had a doctors appointment today and I timed myself and it took me 4 hours. Also I used a litre of body wash and was repeatedly washing my hands. I feel burnt out. Most of the time my therapist just nods her head and I feel she doesn’t care or gets it. I’ve only got a few more sessions left now

Yeah we only check to be more certain but actually we become less certain in the end. I know all of this but can’t put it into practice

Yeah it feels really hard. If I don’t do it that way then doubts and anxiety overwhelm me. I avoid washing my hands on purpose to avoid doing the compulsions. I am having therapy at the moment but my therapist doesn’t really get it.

Yes it will feel incomplete and lots of doubts/checking have I done it properly. I can’t remember pressing it just like someone with checking ocd might keep checking the door because they can’t remember locking it or have doubts

Hello i haven’t used this in ages and wanted some advice. I need absolutely certainty that I pressed the hand wash pump three times when I wash my hands. If I don’t do this then i feel my hands haven’t been washed properly or completely. I also have to be ready to press it and that’s slows me down. I can be standing there for ages saying I’m going to press it and I have to keep repeating that and have to keep prompting myself to press it. When I eventually press the pump three times I scrub my hands for 20/30 secs and then press the pump again two times/2 squirts and then wash each finger separately and then rinse my hands. I have to do it this way to do it properly.

I also get doubts that I haven’t put in enough detergent. Then I get doubts that I have. OCD is a BLEEP will tell you one thing and then the opposite which confuses me.

Yes, maybe your right. A lot of my last sessions were psychoanalysis. But what about washing the clothes doubts. This is where I waste most water because I got the sort of doubts I mentioned in the post and many more.

Hello Thanks for replying. I was getting help in the past. I had nearly 25 CBT sessions but I don’t think it was with the right therapist because I only found out after that the main treatment for OCD is ERP and we didn’t do that. This was in 2019 since then it’s got much worse. I also got physical problems now like incontinence and back problems. I don’t eat properly. I can’t cook because I will have to wash whatever I’m using and that takes me ages. Last time it took me 2 hours to cook a simple pasta meal. Have really bad skin problems from the washing - both of arms and hands are dark red and skin is peeling of. I’ve tried 3 SSRIS all on maximum dose but they didn’t work. Now they put me on Clomipramine which I’m going to start this week. If that doesn’t work then don’t know what I’m going to do, so hard to hold on.

Hello I have a few doubts and obsessions about doing the laundry which drive me crazy. Here is one of them. I know it might seem weird but these doubts feel so real. It feels like a thousand bullies and you feel so powerless. You get new obsessions/doubts/fears or the old ones become much worse and then you have a whole set of behaviours to control them. You get constantly exhausted/fatigued from thinking about the obsessions/doubts and from the compulsions. This particular one is washing clothes inside out. So if for example I put a t shirt or any other garment (trousers, shirts, bedsheets, underwear etc.) in the wash inside out will the outside of it get washed is well and vice versa? I I have fears that whatever side I put it in - outside/inside out the other side won’t be cleaned. I also have doubts/fears if the pockets will be washed.

I am using a electric. Actually they are very splashy or maybe that's the OCD making me hyper aware of everything.

Because I'm worried if the toothpaste gets splashes on my clothes then it won't come off my clothes. If I touch my clothes contaminated by toothpaste and touch something else or brush against something else then the contamination will spread and I won't know what's contaminated and what isn't. Sounds stupid but that is what I have to go through with everyday not only toothpaste but bodily fluids and chemicals.

Hello One of my OCD problem is brushing my teeth which is a long ritual and so many rules which takes me 25 minutes and I have to do it in stages. I've damaged some of my teeth because of this. I wanted to work on this with my therapist but she wasn't helpful and told me what I knew already which is to brush them for 2 minutes. But she didn't help me get to that time. I'm also worried about the toothpaste splashback which makes me panic. I have to change and wash my clothes if this happens. I have doubts especially when brushing the back of the front upper teeth because I can't see them. I once managed to reduce it to 10 minutes but for some reasons it's 20-25 minutes now. It's feels incomplete when I stopped brushing. When I went to see the dentist they told me I still had plaque on some of my teeth. How can someone brush there teeth in 2 minutes and do a better job than me. Does anyone else have this problem or know anyone that does. How do I overcome it? Thanks

The therapist used to encourage me to talk. I started talking about philosophical questions, movies, books etc. It wasnt all her fault. She didn't stop me. My family used to tell me off and say you don't go there to talk about these things and that your getting distracted. You go there for treatment. When I didn't talk and wanted to focus on the session she would make comments like your moody today or your not yourself and then tell me off if I started talking about other things. When the therapy first started she was asking me about my past which is fine. I think she trying to find out how I got to this stage which linked to low self esteem and low confidence. I wanted to work on the behavourial aspects of the OCD and not focus on the past because I can't change that. I told her I need a anchor. Because my brain is not functioning properly and hers was. With the hand washing we practiced it together. We went to the sink and she showed me how she washes her hands and how long for. I copied that and reduced the time from 5 to 2 minutes. I stuck to that ever since. With the practicing the showering there's very little she can help with which is understandable because I don't want to see her take a shower but we did rehearse a little. With the toothbrushing I asked her if we could work on that together. She said she would bring her toothbrush in and show me how she brushes her teeth and then for a few sessions we would work on correcting that problem. When it came to the problem she changed her mind. She said we'll draw up a chart and then every week we can moniter the progress you made which I was already doing before the sessions started and that wasn't helping. She said it takes 2 minutes to brush your teeth. Well I bloody already knew that so why is it taking me 15. It was taking me 15 then now it's gotten worse. The lowest I've been able to cut it down to is 10 minutes now it gone to 20-25 mins

Sorry I wasn't haven't a go at u. Just explaining some of problems and frustrations.