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bob54945

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Everything posted by bob54945

  1. The thing is that infertility rates are declining rapidly and no one knows why. It basically corelates with the increase in mobile phone usage, but I don't care anymore I give up. I literally am so sick of everything, it's exhausting.
  2. Possibly, but the studies are very convinving. I think I should be more responsible because most people won't be aware of the harm they are doing, whereas I would know.
  3. I have had this thing with cell phones, there have been a few scientific studies showing that phones cause infertility. I would accept the risk, but I don't want to make other people infertile because of me using a phone (The radio waves reach other people as well as the user). I've been dealing with this since February, and I wasn't using a phone (Or any other technology) for weeks out of fear that I'd harm my family by turning it on. I had no friends, I talked to no one but the people in my house (and in lockdown, that is horrible). I got over it but this month I've been worrying about it again. The thing is that if I give up using technology then I won't be harming anyone, but I'll be miserable and it'll probably ruin my life. The last time I did this it almost ruined my relationship with my brother. But if I don't give up using the technology then I run the risk of harming others, and I can't live with myself if I do that. I understand that my family all use technology as well, but I don't want to contribute to harming their health.
  4. I used to think I was gay, for two years (until I was 15) I was very convinced I only liked the same sex. I have since realised that isn't the case, however something I did back then really worries me. Basically, I think the feeling of acting feminine turned me on I guess, and that coupled with the fact that I did experiance same sex attraction (and ignored the hetrosexual attraction) led me to believe I was gay. My freinds at that time where very supportive and very accepting. I can't remember if it was my idea or theirs but we had the idea that I shouuld try makeup, so I went to their house and I let them put on some make up. The thing is, looking back I think the fact that I was wearing makeup was a sexual thing for me, like a feeling of being feminine and submissive I think. This worries me greatly as I effectivley used my freinds for sexual gratifacation. I want to emphazise that I was VERY confused at the time and my freinds where also very open out their sexuality, I had no idea I was doing it for a sexual reason and just thought 'this is what gay people do, and I am enjoying this' (I know that is a massive genralisation and a homophobic statement but at the time I was so confsued about my sexuality that I believed it) but this still dosen't give me the right to do what I did. I was like 14, I should've known better.
  5. Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I have stopped doing that but I’m looking for advice on how to deal with the guilt.
  6. I have a crush, been about 4 years now. We used to be friends but now we don’t really keep in touch. I have her added on Snapchat and she has her location enabled on snap map (for anyone who doesn’t know what that is, it is a map on Snapchat which shows where everyone you are friends with are, and when the where last active. It became a habit of checking her account on the map. I don’t know why, I was just interested and kept on checking it. I feel like a creep.
  7. I haven't spoken to him in a month or so, we weren't very close but we knew each other since childhood. I just don't know if what I've done is bad or not.
  8. I've recently started Collage however I didn't have many friends at the start and I was very lonely. I began to talk to my freind's crush (My freind didn't go to that collage, he's went to join the military) and me and her began to speak a lot. Me and my freinds crush talk to each other basically every day but the problem is this, the way I speak to people I want to get to know is by joking and laughing, which I also do when I flirt. But there is a big difference, and I did flirt with his crush. I don't know if I'm in the wrong, he had found her attractive for years but never really acted on it and persued other people as well. I have no idea. P.S. I appritiate all of the advice I've been getting! It's been very helpful!
  9. I still done it though, I still done them things and I definitely did find her attractive. I could have been a big carried away with myself but I don’t think that’s much of a excuse.
  10. It wasn't, I was laughing with them and didn't have a care in the world. OCD wasn't on my mind.
  11. I was on a discord call with my friends and we where playing minecraft. There is a girl we play with who I like. Someone started to play a erectile disfunction advert as a joke, and when the advert mentioned something about the size of the penis (or something like that) I remember making a noise or comment about it in order to impress the girl. Later on someone asked me if I can have sex (I have a disorder which many people thinks limits my sexual ability) and I said yes, but I feel like I only answered because I again wanted to ‘impress’ the girl. They are other things as well like I would follow her around a lot in the game, not sticking to her but I was around her. I feel sick. I hate it, I feel like I’m a evil person.
  12. I can see how that is true, I think it just dosen't sit right with me that I did that.
  13. sorry, I didn't know what else to title it. I didn't mean to be offensive or insensitive. I know I probarly won't find a answer but I can't just accept the fact that I may have (at the least) sexually harrased someone.
  14. Basically when I was 13-14 I had this freind. We where very close and we both had a dark/sexual sense of humour. One day I was on a video call with her. I said that I had to go (or something like that) and switched off my webcam. I then made a masturbation noise with my hands, for a minute or two. I heard her laughing and calling my name. I then switched back on the webcam and I think that I pretended like I didn't know that she had heard me supposedly masturbating. I have no idea why I did this, I went through phases of thinking I was attracted to her but right now I am not in the slightest. We did have a sexual sense of humor and maybe this war just me being a stupid teenager but what if it wasn't? What if I did it to show her that I am sexually domonant or whatever ****** reason thing people do that sort of thing for. I honestly don't know, sorry if this seemed like I was rambling.
  15. I’ve never really been able to hide something that I’ve done without telling my parents, I’ve always just felt too guilty. But last night I did something I regret, I’m into politics and I joined a call with three other guys (In their 20s probably) and talked about politics with them while one of them streamed it on twitch. I feel bad about this for two reasons, one is that I did this till 1 am and the second is that I’m 16 and they’re a lot older then me (and my parents will think I but myself at risk of being abused or something). I love them and I want to tell them but I don’t know if keeping it a secret would be the best thing. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m rambling.
  16. Thanks! That puts a lot in perspective! I still think it’s a bit weird though, for example about 4 hours ago I was watching a movie about arcade games in the car then when I arrived at my hotel someone was playing the Pac-Man sound. But your comment has been helpful so thank you.
  17. Thanks! I saw a theripist for 9 sessions, they ended about 2 months ago as they are limited to 9. They are going to check back in about 3 months or so.
  18. I know it sounds ridiculous and it probably is. It’s just that random events keep happening that seem linked. For example I had been thinking about something for a few weeks but yesterday I watched two movies which had scenes in that where about what I was thinking. Afterwards I read an article and there was mention of Parkinson’s disease, which a actor in one of the movies later had. Then in another article it mentioned pirates, and I had watched a pirate movie the night before. It just all seems strange.
  19. I feel like I’m going crazy So my ocd has been obsessing over coincidences and random related events. I’ve been experiencing a lot of coincidences over the past few days but something struck me as odd. I was in my bedroom today and my brother came in and said a joke. It was about Master Shifu from king fu panda. This is stressing me out as I had been researching Taoism (A religion heavily linked with the Kung fu panda movie) moments before he walked in. I was researching it to make sense out of the strange coincidences. The thing that worries me is that it’s too coincidental the fact that he said that joke right after I looked up something heavily linked with it. We used to joke about Kung fu panda but we haven’t in a long time. The fact that he said it makes me feel very stressed too. Why would he say that? My mind is questioning wether he is even real or not due to that fact that he said this? Why else would he? I know this sounds like none sense and I’m sure my worries are nothing to be concerned about but still I am just so stressed and worried. Thanks for reading what must seem like a lot of rambling.
  20. Basically, if you’ve ever watched willy wonka and the chocolate factor you’ll know a scene where the girl turns into a blueberry. As a kid that must have made me feel something and then when I hit puberty it turned into a fetish. I don’t indulge with the blueberry fetish because I find it weird that I’m finding something Attractive that happened to a 11 year old. Nowadays I like bbw stuff and Feederism (I know that all of this is a weird thing to like) but I can’t help but feel like what I am doing is wrong because it all stems from the experience of me as a kid watching that scene. I can’t tell if I’m being ridiculous or not, but thanks for reading this nonetheless!
  21. Thanks for the reply! About a month ago I asked my brother if he’d use a even though it could make him infertile and he said no. Last night my I asked him again (I know I shouldn’t reassurance seek but if I didn’t ask him that night I would feel miserable for weeks) and he said that if everyone else was still using there’s then he’s probably still use a phone. Even though my brain is racing about that fact that probably doesn’t mean certainly I am feeling better.
  22. Thanks! Yeah, I guess that is true. But he dosen't accept the risk so I feel like I'm doing something to him that he dosen't want
  23. I know, I just don't want to hurt my brother. He's said that if it was true then he wouldn't use a phone so I feel guilty using tech around him
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