Jump to content


Bulletin Board User
  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Nugget

  1. It’s been a bit since I’ve posted and I think I really have been getting better however something that still bothers me is that I always without fail get a gronial response to my intrusive thoughts even in situations that have no actual relations to the intrusive thoughts. This in turn brings up thought of how I must’ve broken myself and my body is associating something that I’m not interested in it’s quite worrisome in that regard.
  2. I’m doing better with my intrusive thoughts but I feel like I could be doing more? I still get triggered from time to time but something is holding me from letting this go
  3. I’m doing better with my intrusive thoughts I haven’t had a gronial response for weeks now..I guess I’m still obsessed with the topics I’ve been obsessed with the main one being the what if’s over my sexuality, that being said it seems like my ocd is switching to more religious oriented thoughts. They still bother me but as of now I’m trying to make my mind bored of the thoughts.
  4. One last thing is there any hope i can recover from this and look back on it and laugh at it? I’ve dealt with this 8 years untreated and I have this “hopelessness”feeling if you understand what I mean
  5. Thank you everything that my therapist seems to send me, my mind is like oh god it is real or he’s trying to say it isn’t ocd..it doesn’t seem like I can read objectively at the moment
  6. “Yes I think so, but at the moment it seems your brain is trying to convince you that you must figure out your identity. It would be ok to ponder one’s identity, but it should be more a matter of choice, a voluntary activity. Instead it seems your brain is trying to force you to figure it out. Ask yourself if you could be comfortable contemplating who you are and not having an answer anytime soon. Does that feel comfortable or distressing? If it feels distressing, it is probably more related to your OCD.” I don’t think I can read objectively at the moment what does this mean? Am I genuinely going through and identity crisis?
  7. But what if my therapist how do I respond to what he said? He said he doesn’t completely understand what I was talking about..maybe it was the way I worded my email?
  8. Is this all real? Am I in some sort of deep denial?
  9. If someone could offer insight into this I would definitely appreciate it. As it is causing me a lot of stress.
  10. I don’t feel like it’s normal for me considering I’ve had no issues with my identity my entire life up until now sexuality or otherwise.
  11. Even if it is normal at my age, my checking and worrying is not as bad before I got a therapist I was checking almost 7 hours a day sometimes even night looking through everything related to the obsession. It was extremely debilitating reason I went to therapy in the first place was that on some level I knew this wasn’t normal behavior. But even though I feel that it isn’t normal wanted thoughts I can’t stop worrying about that “what if”. So when an OCD therapist said that I absolutely freaked out. I’m still on some level deeply worried. I think my next session I will ask him about what he means by that or if he understood what I was asking in my email..
  12. This had to be some sort o misunderstanding Hopefully maybe the way I worded stuff in the email? I hope because if it isn’t I don’t think I’ll try for another therapist it’s just not worth being hurt.
  13. This is the first OCD therapist I’ve been too so not really I did try it on my own for a while
  14. I’ve had hocd for 3 years now the trans theme has been about a year.. these thoughts literally go nowhere except to me considering suicide is a way out. I’ve had other forms of OCD as well in the past. I was a big Religious ocd sufferer
  15. I emailed my therapist they are an OCD therapist btw for context as to if my thoughts of questioning “what if I’m trans gender.” Were legitimate questions of my identity, and he said that exploring identity is strongest at your age I’m 18 and that it’s normal. I think I’m actually done..I don’t want them to be true. I’m in despair right now...
  16. Hey so it’s been a while but my Trans ocd has started up again..I keep thinking about how when I was younger I didn’t like my breasts and for so reason my OCD has latched on to that fact.. Does that mean anything?
  17. This happens whenever I’m meeting with peers with this trigger this mainly applies to my Hocd but whenever I see a female class mate my mind immediately goes to checking if I’m attracted to them almost anticipating someone joining a group chat (Which our college uses) This excitement mimicking feeling is immensely scary this coupled with a gronial response as well..and it happens with my female teachers as well.. could anyone explain this?
  18. Thank you for the response Gemma! I was unsure as these thoughts aren’t in the usual “What if” question format ( a lot of them are) so to have it up and change on me was worrying..
  19. So I’ve had times where instead of coming in as a “What if question?” My OCD will turn around mimic a statement like me explain I’ll think something “Am I attracted to that dog?” There will be a quick second where I tell myself don’t think of the statement “Oh that dog is hot.” Then that statement will be forced into my head. It’s not natural in the sense that is how I feel but forced. If anyone could explain this phenomenon I’d be very happy.
  20. Wow thank you for the detailed response this sensation is/and has been a huge hurdle in my recovery from OCD. So how do we go about breaking the association with it?
  21. Between arousal and the gronial if there is one?
  • Create New...