Lillemz

Oh I definitely ruminate, I've never had that mentioned to me. The only thing st the moment I'm supposed to be doing is pretending my thoughts are trains coming into a station and noticing them then letting then go our... or challenging them. Has anyone got any good recommendations for mindfulness and rumination? Books or advice on where to start. Thanks xx

I am trying to stop all my compulsions. I don't know if all of its ocd or some is just anxiety/worry but I don't always respond other than worrying and worrying. I am trying to stop everything compulsion wise maybe that's why my intrusive thoughts are getting worse at the moment and maybe why my anxiety is worse

I can't cope with this anymore. I hate myself so much, I am not the same person I used to be. I am constantly worrying about something and it's ruining my life. I'm ruining my relationship because I'm moody and miserable all the time due to constant intrusive thoughts and worry. Its got out of control since covid came, I've had therapy once which helped but it came back with a vengeance and I'm really struggling. I cut my nose with a razor yesterday, an old razor and now I'm in constant worry I'm going to get cellulitis which I know is ridiculous and if I do I do. I just can't cope with my own mind and thoughts. I know I'm absolutely ridiculous and I hate myself for it I just can't control it. I'm worrying so much I think it's caused a neck/head itchy rash. I've had enough of it, I just want to be normal and not like this. Before covid I was coping OK but now it's just spiralled out of control. I'm currently having therapy again but it's not great at the moment. I don't know what I want from here, I don't want reassurance I just maybe want to talk to someone who may understand or who has ocd and anxiety. I just feel like I'm falling apart and loosing myself and my partner

I had ocd since I was 14/15 possibly before hand, don't know why but got worse from intrusive thoughts about family deaths. I only got diagnosed at 29, I'm now 31 but I knew I had OCD many many years before, but I was too scared to ask for help as I thought it might effect my job having ocd xx

Thank you for your replies. I am doing CBT again second time round now, hopefully after this I can keep it at bay. Thank you x

Just wondered who has ocd and anxiety and has had kids? I want a baby soon but I'm worried I won't be able to cope because of my anxiety and ocd. I worry alot about my family and pets getting ill, hurt or dying and just concerned ill be crazy all the time thinking there's something wrong xxx

Thank you I will see how the next session goes. I really need to sort myself out and get help though. I really want a baby but I just don't think I can be a good mum with my anxiety and worry all the time not the covid related stuff everything else too.

Thank you for your replies, I didn't think she should be either. I get I need help but even some of my friends without OCD are more warey at the moment, they don't are washing their hands more and concerned about their parents. I know I'm more extreme I get that and I don't want to be but its not a fake thing or that there's no risk at all as covid is actually here and everything that's happened. I don't care about over washing etc I can live with that, it's worrying about people dying and intrusive thoughts. But yes covid is impacting my life but I do think if I was in another job it wouldn't have been as bad, being a teacher with a class of 30 kids who are constantly ill and with 2 Teaching assistants who also have been ill alot and one who temperature every other week (no even exaggerating lol) I dunno she's just making me feel stupid like I'm being ridiculous over nothing when covid has massively affected the world and she's making it out like its just the normal flu xxx

Hi I had high intensity CBT last year which was really helpful, I however have regressed. I have just restarted CBT and its with a different person. I feel like she doesn't understand my ocd at all and feel like she's just passing off everything. I have a huge fear of my family dying (started off of cancer but now its covid) I feel like she's making out covid isn't a big deal at all and like there was never anything to be worried about. She said what's likely hood I will catch covid from meeting 15 friends from work and going into town drinking .... well personally I feel its a high chance as its still spreading alot. Yet she's like the chance you'll catch it is really low. And saying that it's not that many people died from covid because also cancer and heart attacks etc but then something like 40million people did die. I dunno first time round the woman was really understanding and helpful. I just don't feel this woman even gets what I feel or think at all.

Hi I've had ocd since I was about 14, I thought if I watched a video my grandma would die and she did, until last year I'm now 31 I thought it was my fault and I've had terrible ocd about fear of my family dying of cancer and now covid since I was 14. I had cbt last year which helped but I've regressed and I'm waiting for cbt again. I've always felt like I will die young (which I don't care about if I do, I'd rather not but I feel like maybe if I get sick or die my family won't) I just read something online.... I shouldn't Google stuff I'm stupid. But about feeling like you'll die young and someone said they were intuitive and her brother died young and now I'm worried what if my thoughts are like premonitions or something. I hope I start cbt again soon I'm regressing very bad

Hi I'm really struggling with this and have done so for a year. I had an argument with my bf last year about our cat that was ill and then I felt awful and blamed it all on me, however then my therapist at the time said it wasn't me and she would of been angry too and he needs to take responsibility. Now half or more of this is me I know because I'm scared of covid and all that at the moment, I don't want to go to town to busy places etc and I don't want to mix with my friends as I would rather see mu family (I'm scared off them dying of covid) But me and my bf been living together a year, I've been really up and down alot (down alot) I've been better this year (until a week ago maybe) but we literally just moved house 2 weeks ago, and we don't do much. I come home shower, make tea and we watch TV. That's literally it. We don't really play any games or do anything else. We are intimate once a week. I mentioned probably in a nasty way to my bf yesterday that I'm bored of life and he's boring and we are boring. I've told him a few times over the year I don't want to be one of them couples that are boring and don't have sex anymore etc in the future, but nothing really changes. I love my bf alot and I want to be with him and have kids etc but I don't want to be a boring old couple that do nothing together. Di you think this is OCD or do you think it's genuine feelings? I know that's a ridiculous question but I do feel OCD has killed a part of me in this last year, I feel its changed me and depressed me and I don't know what's real anymore x Also just to add I'm on my period and unfortunately I go extra mental and sad on my period

Hi thank you. I know all fell in unfortunately times, but then I chose to move again after in covid! I think I'm happy, I think we are just bored due to covid. I think I may be a bit depressed aswell. I'm awaiting high intensity cbt for round 2, it helper last summer but unfortunately its bad again. Its my job thats causing the issues with covid, just finding it hard. Thank you for replying.

Hi I don't know if this is just down to ocd or whether it's real. That's what I'm finding hard at the moment. I moved in with my bf literally at start of lockdown last year into another city not too far away. I also moved jobs. We've just moved house two week ago aswell. I'm feeling really like I'm falling apart at the moment. I'm a teacher and finding work hard due to covid, lots of kids getting tests all time, 3 bubbles down this week due to cases. I've been really down since lockdown 1 in 2020 and really wasn't coping last year at all but I'm better than that now however I still don't want to go to meet my friends unless they come to my garden ( I can't drive and won't use public transport atm) I haven't seen alot of people I want to for a year. I feel like me and my partner are boring in each others company. Some days I feel like I want a baby and I'm super happy about everything then other days I'm like I dunno if we should be even together and feeling ****. We only have "fun adult time" once a week, we watch TV every night, I'm really bored and I'm worried this is it for the rest of my life. When covid is over I will probably be ok but I'm not coping with going back into normality due to my old fears of my family dying or me causing others to die by giving them disease or bad thoughts. I'm scared and I'm passing up on invitations to weddings, fun days out with people I want to be friends with from work, even hospital appointment as too scared to go and even cancelled a massage for migraines. I don't know what to do

Hi its the anxiety of going into work at the moment. I'm just constantly feeling stressed and anxious even when I'm not at work but because I'm thinking about having to go in x

Hi I am a teacher and at the moment I am really struggling. My anxiety was crazy in 1st lockdown and I got CBT which helped but my anxietys spiked massively over Christmas. I haven't physically been in work since Xmas as my anxiety is bad. I feel panicky and think having low level panic attacks. I just dreading everyday going physically into work (even though I'm definitely off this week) I'm so worried about going in. I've had enough I want to leave teaching but can't for money at the moment. Anyone else feeling this way x