Dakagraphics-David

Hi there... I don't know, cos I'm not a professional... For myself, I regard it more as a blessed release... There's more about that on my own thread... Definitely, seeking reassurance doesn't help in OCD... We'll resolve one issue, be happy for ten minutes if we are lucky, then, just like an old fashioned slide show, another picture will pop up into our minds eye, something even further back in time, something long forgotten, and we become desperate for reassurance for that, and so it goes on... At my deepest, I was trying to get reassurance for things I'd done as a child... Nothing major, but I would be catastrophising it to it's worst possible guilt for me... I've struggled with this for over thirty years... One book I could suggest, that helped me a lot was ''Feeling good, the new mood therapy'' By a Dr David Burns (Not me!). It is American, but easy reading... It is available from Amazon, and maybe on ebay too. He suggests things that he has found useful in his practice, as a healthcare professional in the USA. I gave my copy away, but I seem to remember it mentions Ocd, although it deals with anxiety and depression too, something else I reckon I got more than my fair share of... David

What about 'self defence talking...' Shouting back at the thoughts... Not necessarily out loud, but like being our own defence counsel, arguing against, rather than just accepting the guilt, and living with it... In a court of law, we have someone arguing our case, in our defence... As human beings, with human rights, Why should our thoughts be allowed to 'hang us out to dry'? They are thoughts, not someone skilfully punching us physically where it hurts... Thoughts can be sworn at, with nobody to tellus that we shouldn't swear, for instance. Defy, Defy, Defy, the thoughts only have as much substance as we unwittingly give them. Thin assertively back against the intrusive thoughts... And distract ourselves to drive them away... They usually go quiet after a while... Hopefully! David

Hi everyone... Just a thought... Just maybe, a word like 'Bontamination' , could be seen as a form of reassurance... Well, another way of looking at it, is that it is not 'Reassurance', but actually 'Release'... Blessed release from having to remember whether I washed my hands enough, or whether there is literally a speck of dust on my shoes, from walking outside... I'm released from the feelings of guilt, that walking in from outside, I stepped on the floor, where one of the grandchildren crawled, leading them to feel a bit sick as they ate their lunch in their high chair... Blessed release from worrying about what may have got on my clothing, that I brushed off with my hands, before making a cup of coffee for someone... As I have no control over what other people do, whether or not they choose to wash their hands before eating, just maybe it isn't down to the way I prepared their sandwiches, that caused a minor tummy ache, that lasted a few moments, whether or not I even knew about it... Reassurance tends to be counter-productive for us Ocd sufferers, because we can deal with one concern, and feel great for five minutes, only to be presented by another scenario or event, long forgotten, and needing to get reassurance for that... At the height of my Ocd, I got right back to things that happened during my schooldays... The thing is, I'm a pensioner... Those things were getting muckraked up by my intrusive thoughts... There is a 'Serenity prayer' Grant me the grace to accept the things I cannot change, The strength to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference... The most important word in there is not 'strength', but 'Wisdom'... Wisdom.... It took me years to accept that... So, What to do today... Well, a bit of studying... Go and visit relatives... And go upstairs without worrying about the stair rail... Cos everyone uses that, and always have done, cos it is a very steep staircase... And I no longer carry anti-bac gel in my pocket... So I don't start cleaning my hands uncontrollably, I used to, you know! David

I think I'll just use it on my own threads... Sort of see how it goes... ?

Hi there, I did wonder... ?

There is also quite a bit on youtube too...

Hi there, CBT can be really good, it certainly got me out of the terrible mess I was in, a few years ago now. With support, we learn how to do something called ERP, Exposure Response Prevention. Where we bravelly discover how to face the Ocd bully head on, and call it's bluff... We find ourselves fighting back, and retaking control of our lives. There are some good books available too, One that is good is 'Overcoming Obsessive compulsive disorder, by Dr's David Veale (Not me!) and Rob Wilson. Another one is 'The boy who couldn't stop washing', by Dr Judith Rappoport. Both are available from Amazon... If you feel really brave, buy a used copy for a lower price... A book that helped me is 'How to stop worrying, and start living', by Dale Carnegie, who died the year I was born, so it is quite an old book... David

Hi guys, Yesterday it was a meal deal at a supermarket, amongst a load of other miscellaneous food shopping... I chose a microwave ready meal burger in bun, a plastic tub containing two hardboiled and shelled eggs, and a bottle of cold drink... Now... We got lots of other stuff too, but I'm concentrating on the meal deal... When we go through the till, everything is handled by the till operator, my other half got it into bags while I emptied the basket onto the conveyor belt... So, logically speaking, they both handled all the items in one continuous stint... No antibacterial gel used since before entering the store... So... in negative theory, catastrophisingly, It is all 'Cross-contaminated'. But what with? We don't know... And it has always been that way... For years... I prefer to say 'Bontaminated', in other words, with 'good' germs also... Anyway, we get it all home them sit at the dining table to eat the 'meal deal meal'. I will have washed my hands once before sitting down at the table, but that is all. I open the egg container, and take out each egg in turn... So, whatever was on the outer wrapper, is now on the eggs, which I eat, using my fingers... It has always been this way... This is how I get to eat eggs on a regular basis... (I can't shell them properly!) I then have the burger in a bun, which has been thoroughly cooked, but the wrapper has only been in the microwave, so maybe the germs were still there... The burger is eaten with bare fingers, and the top is taken off the drinks bottle, without at any point, pausing to antibac gel my hands, or indeed, wash my hands... It has never made me ill... Not since I was a child, and I'm in my sixties now... Maybe we could all try this, as a CBT type homework experiment... Whereas we associate 'Contamination' as being 'Bad', 'Bontamination' is positive, and good... We can actually begin to relax and smile at the thought that, maybe the world, when it is reasonably clean, is not as hazardous to us as we originally thought... As we are led to believe...I seem to remember seeing a commercial on TV for some product claiming 99.999% germ clean... If that is the case, what does it do to the good guys, the ones we actually need...? Anyway, if I get sick, I'll report back, but somehow, I don't think I will... This is evidence we can all try... This forum is about sharing ideas and experiences of OCD and intrusive thoughts, and I honestly reckon this could stand up in court... David

Hi there, I'm gonna really stick my neck out here, and suggest that all these personal items are not 'contaminated' with anything bad... But simply germs that you have naturally had on your skin all your life? I'm of the new belief and suggestion, that they might be considered 'Bontaminated', From the French for good... The theory is that, on our skin, possessions, shavers, toothbrushes etc, there are as many, if not more, 'Good' bacteria, than not so good bacteria. Remember HG Wells 'War of the worlds', when it turns out that the smallest things on planet earth, that we had been resistant to for centuries, ultimately saved the world and mankind, from the attacking Martians? I'm sorry if I have overstepped the mark here, but surely, if everything around us was all 'bad', or 'less than good', we as a species would not be surviving at all... And yet, we are... Our natural defences fight the bad germs to make the good germs stronger... That is how vaccination works, Vaccu is the latin word for 'Cow' , and it was the discovery that milkmaids and people who got cowpox, were ill for a couple of days, but then didn't go on to contract Smallpox... So the Doctor Edward Jenner, went around injecting people with the Cowpox virus... Unfortunately, 'Bontamination' isn't actually in the dictionary, so may not be regarded as a good idea... But, it is sure a much more positive way of going about our daily lives... David

I guess the short answer is , We just don't know'. It would take a court of law to decide, but you would then have a defence counsel on your side. I'm assuming your Mum didn't complain, or feel 'assaulted'. She would have to be the accuser, not you. We just don't know, and that is a good thing, for all concerned. There seems to be no case to answer. The trouble is, seeking reassurance will only lead to you needing more, and yet more, from something perhaps in the further back distant past, something, until, long forgotten, and muckraked up by your vivid imagination and memory system. Accept that this will have to be left behind, as you move on to new happier times in your life, Like, Right now...

It just seemed a good idea at the time!! I guess the word 'contamination' is way over used in modern times... Maybe what we pick up on our fingertips when touching something, like say, for instance, Soap, is bontamination, because it is there, it does indeed exist, but is harmless to us... We have such a lot of negative words we use on a daily basis... We need more positivity in the world... Maybe then, there wouldn't be quite so much anxiety in the world... Especially in our world of Ocd... ?

Hi there. This is really good. You are getting the chance to share the benefit of your own life experience, to help children make sense of theirs. They will ultimately be the ones looking after us in our old age, so, they need to feel that what they feel is valued, I guess they see the world through different eyes to ourselves, so to speak. I would like to work with people in my own age group... 60's... My childhood in the late 1950's, early 1960's, in a 'New town' out from London, was a nightmare... But at the time, it was all I had ever known... Anyway, Well done, with what you are doing. David

Hi there. Yes, been there, done that, worn the tee shirt so to speak. It's weird isn't it? The more we go back and check, the stronger the urge to check again, just once more... Just to be really sure... It really disrupts our lives, doesn't it! It feels like the wrong thing to do, but we need to continue to defy the thoughts. It takes force and defiance, but resist at all costs, and wait until the thoughts begin to subside, which they will ultimately do. It's a waiting game... Keep defying the intrusive thoughts, wait for them to strengthen then subside... We can do this! David

The trouble with using the word 'Contamination', is that it is always a negative, catastrophising word... Always meaning 'Bad' 'disastrous' etc. If we can change the word to something positive in approach, we can challenge the thoughts. The new word is 'Bontamination'. Always good... The 'Bon' bit is from the French meaning 'Good'. Remember David Suchets portrayal of the french detective Poirot? 'Bon' is his favourite word! Does it have to be bad? The thing is, it is also highly likely that there was nothing harmful there in the first place... Going by that premise, there is literally nothing to worry about... At all... David

Hi everyone... Those who know me, will know that I'm into cuddly toys... Well, yesterday, I was in a shop, and saw one, my favourite colour... I'd actually gone into the shop to buy something different, but that's another story! The thing is... I picked it up... Now, bearing in mind that I had incidentally used the antibac gel on the way into the store, as usual, I don't know if the last person to handle that toy before me, would have cleaned theirs... What is on the cuddly toy? I really don't know... Another one I got a couple of weeks ago was also my favourite colour... I bought that one too... Is it perfectly clean? If it is, it would be a miracle considering how it has been made by hand, handled by possiblt twenty people before me... It's not 'Contaminated', it is 'Bontaminated', with good, as well as anything less good. It looks clean, and cannot go into the washing machine... Consider the teddy bears and dolls we had when we were children... And we didn't have automatic washing machines in those days with 'Designer' washing powders... We lived... Those toys went everywhere with us... We hugged them close to our faces... And we survived... If I touch something, I 'bontaminate' it with good as well as anything else... We have concrete evidence of that... It is all around us... And always has been... So, maybe the car was not contaminated... Can we reason like that? That what went in the car came out with good vibes... As children we rode in lots of different cars... Parents, Aunties brothers etc. If we ever did get tummy-ache, it never lasted long, and we soon forgot about it... Not everything we touch is dangerous... If it was we'd be in a right old state... When we eat salad... Have we always washed it, as the worried trader says in writing on it? What always? Carrots with soil just brushed off... We haven't, have we... Radishes straight out of the ground... To many people, if we put carrots on the kitchen worktop, we need to clean the worktop with bleach... And yet we've just eaten the carrots!!!! Do we wash tomato's in bleach? To be honest, unless they look grubby, I don't wash them at all, cos mere water is not going to achieve anything... This world is 'Bontaminated', the prefix 'Bon', coming from the French for 'good'. It is Positive word, that gives me hope, rather than all the negative ones that damage hope... Oh... And the Milk bottles? Nothing happened... David

Jam the old colour slide projector, so to speak... Rip down the screen... Switch on the sunlight... I cannot change my past, only learn from it, and we've done that all the way up to the present day... The other people have long gone... They are no longer part of my life... You can do this too...

Hi there, Being a postie is a really important job. You are trusted with Mail which is really good. Consider this... As you do your round, every letter/packet will drop on the inside carpet of the recipients house... Every one, will be picked up from possibly a doormat, possibly the most 'contaminated' place in the house... And no one gets ill... Or they would have changed the system by now... Someone else will have had the car... Nothing has actually failed... What is on the letters before you handle them? Nobody knows... When the recipients open their letters... It's actually a minefield, but with no explosions... This concept can be applied to other aspects of our lives... Incidentally, I used to be a service user at a daycentre where I played music keyboards. One particular day, I placed my songbook on the passenger seat of the car, and drove to the centre. When I got there, I looked at the book, but worried about something from the seat having contaminated it, that I would pick up, transfer to the keyboard, and infect someone, simply because I 'Knew' that the book had been on the seat. As if that made me responsible for everything and everyone else... I had no Antibac gel with me, so covered the cover of the book in wide sticky tape... (So the imaginary germs wouldn't transfer...) I got on with my day, and things went okay... The thing is... I still have that book 12 years later... It still has the tape around it... Believe it or not, I'm not sure I can remove the tape, because of what might be under it...!!! And that is after all these years! I think I'll just leave it alone!!! Anyway, I used to like working out in the fresh air... I'm too old for it now though... Keep pushin on, you are doing great! David

Hi there, Thank you for your kind words too! I've tried writing about Ocd and CBT, and I've had a go at Romantic fiction, which was really interesting! It is a great outlet for a very active imagination. I do so wish I could draw though! That is an amazing talent! I did engineering drawing, but freehand, nope! I reckon Ocd attacks people with creative minds, we're sort of predisposed to it... My 'o'level english teacher taught me to 'Write what you like reading', and I guess that is the same for drawing too. I play the electronic organ too! But I can't read music! (But then neither could John Lennon and Paul McCartney) I'm not sure I can promote my own work on here, but a book by someone else, I bought a while ago, that I've yet to read is 'Letters to a young poet', by Rainer Maria Rilke. It is an old book, but it's reckoned to be pretty good. I feel lucky to meet people like you too, it has been brilliant finding this forum, where I don't feel it is a blog, but that you guys do respond, which is the same as having feedback on something... It's not reassurance, it's caring... We are dealing with something which permeates every part of our lives, and can alter the outcome of an entire day... I've written out a list of to do's for today... I might not achieve it all, but as long as some of it gets done, it'll be okay... It's supposed to be raining here! I've got some shopping to do... It is a village shop, so it is nice to say Hello. I will need to put my outdoor shoes on... Laces are a challenge... Cos they touch the floor... But, it was okay when I was a kid... I've got Grandchildren myself, It is wonderful seeing their personalities develop, something different every day! Mind you, you are on duty 24 hours a day, whereas, mine go back home! The thing I find weirdest about my Ocd is the fact that, the more I check something, the stronger the urge becomes to check, just once more, and again, and so on! Logically, I maybe don't need to check at all, but I guess if anything goes wrong, the insurance company will want to know if I was being thorough. We've been lucky with fuel here, just haven't gone out in the car, I walk to the village store, and I'm just psycheing myself up to do that right now! Bread and milk... Neither can possibly be washed before use... What will be on the wrappers? I will never know... Cos, I've never needed to know in the past. Once again, Thank you to you, and best wishes for you and your little boy, David

Hi there, Thank you for your kind words. It has been an interesting ride! I think I will always have OCD, it is always there in the background, intrusive thoughts, trying to make me wash my hands too much... Incidentally... Something that I guess everybody does, and mostly without thinking, is Milk bottles... We are so involved with the delicious smell of the Coffee, that we don't consider the bottle... And it has always been okay... Right back to when we had glass bottles with foil tops... I was preparing cereal for breakfast. Grabbed a bowl from the kitchen sink drainer, Got the biggest box out of the cupboard, and filled the bowl... I went to the fridge, and poured milk on the cereal. Emptied the bottle, and grabbed a new one from the fridge... A new bottle, with a green screw cap on it... Beleive it or not I felt the urge to wash my hands... But When? Before unscrewing the top? After unscrewing the top, and removing the foil seal...? Mmmm... Well, in practice, for years, in the supermarket, the till operator would check that ALL the bottle tops are on tight, to avoid leakage in the carrier bag on the way home... So we've never known what is on the caps... On opening the bottle later, That then got immediately to the foils seal, and thus to the milk... We've always done that, and it has been okay... So if we don't catastrophise it, When we drink cold milk, the top has NEVER been perfectly clean... And We've all survived... Because Our immune systems strengthen, and protect us from serious illness... And yet, I still feel the need to wash my hands between removing the green screwtop, and the foil seal inside! The trick, if there is one, is to do what people have been doing for years, wash hands (If you must) Before making the drink of Coffee, and no more, right up until and including, having a nice, buttery, shortbread biscuit (Or two!) with the nice cup of Coffee... People just don't get ill, if they did, the whole process would be changed, cos, we don't always boil the milk before drinking it... Therefore, the milk is still Bontaminated... But with good as well as bad... And remember fizzy pop bottles? Take a sip, wipe the top 'Clean' with the palm of our hands, then pass it to the next person... Never mind what we thought we were wiping off the bottle... Just what exactly would we have been putting ON the bottle, before we passed it to the next person?!!!!. The Record, is a 45 rpm recording of 'El Malaga' by 'Sounds Orchestral', (1967). Written by Johnny Pearson (Who did 'Top of the Pops) It was a favourite of my late Mum and Dad, in the darker days of my way off childhood... It isn't on Youtube... But I want to learn to play it... By ear... The spooky thing is, The 'A' side is called 'Our Love story', a TV theme from 'Love Story' a TV programme of the time... My Mum and Dad would have been happy then... I would have been about 11 or 12, and my childhood experience was not particularly good, But that's a long time ago now. My Mum and Dad eventually separated... And I was the eldest of five kids... We've all moved on, to where we are today... I haven't actually heard that music for over fifty years... Who knows what memories might come flooding back... Wish me luck! David

even breathing, and contaminating the air for others to breathe... David

Hi there... A good book that, By David Veale, and Rob Willson. Another good book that has helped me is 'How to stop worrying, and start living', by Dale Carnegie, which is actually available free of charge on You tube as an audiobook. I often wonder how on earth my partner coped with me when I was at my worst... It sure isn't easy, this OCD Journey... I used to beleive I contaminated the world... Everything I touched, stood on, sneezed on... It was bad enough for me, but I guess it is equally difficult for those who are forced to stand and watch, so to speak... David

And now I've opened a parcel from China... As basically, that is where most things are coming from... We don't seem to manufacture a lot in the UK! I've come to the computer to write this... Then I'll wash my hands, cos now it is time to make a spot of lunch! Mmmmm.... David

Hi everyone... Oops... I received a packet today containing a gramophone record from ebay... I picked it up from the doormat, where we tread when coming in from outside... I picked it up, just as I did my birthday cards as a small boy... I knew what it would be, cos I was expecting it... A tune from 1967, and my troubled childhood... I knew what the 'B' side was, but cannot remember the 'A' side... I'm taking a risk of awakening old, forgotten memories... I could open a Pandora's box... Anyway, I've got it out of the packaging to check it, and it is fine... I went to the computer, typed in the feedback, and then this... I still haven't washed my hands... That record has been around since 1967... How many people have touched it before me? We didn't have anti-bac gel in those days... We didn't have MRI scanners in those days... X-rays results took days to come back... We could die from the Flu... Anyway... I guess it is fair to say that there will be good on the item, as well as, if any bad... Do Germs and Bacteria last forever if not treated? I really don't know... But, I'm leaning towards the goodness, that what I'm spreading around, is not going to hurt me, nor for that matter, anyone else... After all, How do you 'De-Contaminate' a gramophone record? A computer keyboard? The mouse...? The dust I will have inhaled when opening any package, let alone this one... I believe that I have inadvertently/deliberately have caused 'Bontamination'. That is, Human contact, in a good, as well as not so good way... Notice I don't use the word 'Bad', cos it isn't, it is normal, something that goes on every single day of our lives, and every single breath we take... Our air has to contain Carbon dioxide in order to enable plants to photosynthesize oxygen, which as we well know, is well, pretty important. We breathe in ordinary air, and our lung's Alveoli put oxygen into our bloodstream... It is then up to the body's natural defences to deal with all the other stuff we breathe in on a day to day basis... So, Yes, I have Bontaminated my environment today... And that is okay... Good things as well as not so good... But that has been happening every moment of my life... Without me necessarily being aware of it... But it isn't easy to do deliberately... But Because it is no longer totally negative in concept, it actually allows a glorious sense of freedom... No longer forever trying to be perfectly clean... Just Reasonably clean. So just maybe this is okay? I sure hope so... I'll keep updating to let you all know how this goes... Wish me luck! David

Covid is a different kettle of fish... We do need to protect the vulnerable, and we do that with Immunisation, and taking reasonable care, being reasonably clean... We cannot be sterile, anymore than we can breathe pure oxygen. My care home experience was adults with learning disabilities... Scary, dangerous work... The clients used to eat unmentionable things... But I was still expected to be surgically clean when preparing food... On the TV we keep seeing film of large groups of people, no mask wearing, no social distancing... To be fair, that should be made illegal... Now we are bumping off absolutely (Well, 99.9%) every possible germ, What will come next, as nature balances out the natural world? We need the good guys... David

What is it actually 'contaminated' with? Is it dangerous? Really? How do we know? What evidence do we have around us to back our theories up? Maybe it isn't dangerous... And then we can touch the floor... And be safe... David