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Everything posted by Dakagraphics-David

  1. I actually wrote that last night... I'm having great difficult uploading stuff on here... Is anyone else having problems? David
  2. Hi everyone... Long time, no see... Things are going reasonably well for me at the moment. My mate Marcus John Kim is currently working on a website to showcase their books... I'll let you know, all in good time. In the meantime, they are available on Amazon as books, or kindle as electronic files. The two novels are really pleasant reading too, with a bit of young love in them too. Tomorrow our grandchildren come to us for a few hours. We have crisps, cans of pop, and biscuits... It won't calm them down, but hey, we are blessed with wonderful grandchildren, all individuals in their own unique way. I've inherited another cuddly toy... I may be in my sixties, but they are nice and colourful to have around the house. And oh so lovely to handle. I do most of the cooking in our house, and now we actually have a new cooker, it is a learning curve. A short time ago I did a thin crust garlic bread with cheese on top. It was only in for a very short time, but still came out like a biscuit! When I was at work, I used to make rhubarb crumbles... Sometimes the top came out like a manhole cover! On the times I did get that bit right, I would use the wrong grade sugar, and it would be like chewing half-set concrete! I have started watching Russell Howard on youtube. He has a brilliant take on the events and situations in the world, and he can be very funny... A great mood lifter. As do several people I know, only one person drives the car, and my wife is our lead driver. I actually prefer to just sit and watch the countryside and houses going by, wondering if one day we'll have something special of our own. It is good to see lot's of people taking part on the forums, it is by chatting to each other that we can really try to help each other along. This OCD is an absolute B. I will look in from time to time, I'm up to my neck with studying now. It is not something I'm used to, so it is difficult to time-manage it all... Speak again soon hopefully. David
  3. Hi there. Yes. Coping okay at present. I may be on medicines for ever, but never mind, at my age, I don't have to pay, yet... I realised this evening, that I actually do 'baby breathing', that is breathing into the stomach. It is a very efficient way of using our lungs. I've read about it somewhere. When we are most anxious, we tend to breathe with the upper part of our chest. There is a programme on TV called 'Faking it', where they show us how a professional can tell when we are being truthful and honest. They study some really nasty people, and keep them away from us ordinary folk. I'd like to learn more about being able to do that kind of work... David
  4. Hi there, Yep Saturday went reasonably okay... I'm actually upping my understanding of Psychology... I wonder about doing Forensic Psychology, cos that sounds fascinating... Having said that, the amount of Psychology that goes into planning the layout of a modern supermarket is absolutely amazing! For instance... The instore bakery has absolutely nothing to do with the sale of bread!!! Many years ago, I read about a study of when Men and women go shopping together, why is it often the man who pushes the trolley around? Well... One school of thought it would be the man being the protector of the food in the trolley, effectively guarding it. Well, after a few years of marriage, I can safely say that it has more to do with the Mans' possibility of choosing the wrong stuff from the shelves, so he resorts to the comparative safety of pushing the trolley, while his wife fills the trolley! Right or wrong becomes irrelevant at this point!!!! Tomorrow I'm going to be helping my mate with his website, And listening to him play his electronic organ. Cora... We are allowed to experience pleasure... I heard somewhere that going as far as enjoyment, is limited to the human species... If it is so wrong to experience pleasure, the human race would have probably died out many millennia ago. How can something so pleasant be so wrong? Back to me... I like a nice 'sensual' story... And my mate writes those as well! You can't beat a good love story... When something happens in love and friendship, it is beautiful and wonderful... It is part of what makes ourselves really special... Simply because we care... Perhaps a little too much? David
  5. Something a friend of mine said to me was... Just maybe, things will get better... I watch Norman Wisdom films... That guy had a horrendous upbringing, but he actually managed to turn it around, and actually use it to his advantage... This can still happen... Whilst we have life... It can still happen... I guess the awful thing is that, right now, that doesn't seem possible... BUT... We have to go through the rain to see the eventual rainbow, metaphorically speaking. I probably would sound awful to my childhood family... But I really believe that I am better off without them... My childhood was largely a nightmare... So it became up to me to rebuild my life into something I was okay with... Sod all the others... They were unpleasable anyway... Now I've moved away, they are probably still the same, but I'm out of earshot... I found solace in fiction books... Enid Blyton got me through my formative years... Don't blink now, or you'll miss it... This pandemic has been pure hell for a lot of people, it has isolated us as well, but, just maybe... Just maybe... There are good times ahead. (I sure hope so) David
  6. Here we are, at another weekend... Having said that, my days just flow... I am studying, so sit and read quite a lot... Whilst doing so, I have headphones on, and listen to relaxation music... Really soothing... And I can shut the rest of the world out... I've started watching Norman Wisdom films on you tube... They are funny, but also carry quite a lot of emotion... Norman Wisdom had quite a troubled childhood, but went on to use this to do some amazing performances... He was also a really good singer for his time... There is a saying that 'If life gives you a lemon... Make a lemonade...' So, from a really bitter experience, turn it around and make it into one of the most refreshing fizzy drinks there is... Finding some sort of contentment... It's not all about impressing other people, that is sometimes totally impossible, it is about finding peace with ourselves... A Brilliant recording to listen to is 'Desiderata' recorded in the 1960's or thereabouts, by Les Crane. And Music... 'If', by Bread... Tomorrow should be a lie in... I have music on in m y bedroom, to help drive the intrusive thoughts away, planning for (hopefully) better times ahead... Springtime is not that far away now, when the flowers appear, and the evenings will be warm enough to sit out in the garden with a firepit... The album 'Forever' by Kool and the gang, has some good music from the disco era... David
  7. Hiya, my thoughts at present are that, When the prescription charges come into force, I will then have a good reason to come off my medicines anyway... The nighttimw one is miniscule, and to be honest, I really don't think the daytime ones are having much effect anyway... It is difficult to get to see our doctor at present in order to discuss reducing it all down anyway, just to see if I really can become 'drugfree'. It would save me forgetting it sometimes (!) I'm not sure I even get side effects... It might be nice to just stop, gradually... David
  8. When I look at my position in the world, and see that a few good things are at last starting to happen, I look at the stuff I've come through, and decide that I've got to where I am today, due to all the pitfalls... But my life could have turned out so very different... I live in a totally different part of England to that I grew up in... And to be honest... That is actually a good thing... I know some wonderful people... And my professional life couldn't be further from what my school teachers said I would turn out to be... And all because... My life has gone in the direction it has... And it is now up to me to make the best I can of the situation as it is, considering the way it might have gone... The positives far outweigh the negatives... So I guess, we need to concentrate on the positives... David
  9. Hi there... I was... My very good friend Marcus john kim has written a series of books called Ocd snippets, which are available on kindle. They have literally been to hell and back. Both them and I went through CBT with ERP at the same time period. There are lots of books to help us. My favourite is by an American doctor, by the name of David Burns. I need to buy a copy of my own, having given my copy away! It is called 'Feeling good, the new mood therapy', it is quite old, so can be got on ebay. My OCD developed from depression, I found Dale Carnegie's books helpful too... I'm pleased to say that I am in recovery stage now. I still wash my hands a little more than I would like... David
  10. Hi there, no problem. I've found that, as my mind is becoming less preoccupied by negative thoughts, I actually notice the nice things that are going on in the world around us. Actually enjoying the scenery on a ride out in the car, instead of forever looking beck, and wondering what if... Okay, it's not happiness all of the time... But a heck of a lot more than in days gone by, and anyway, metaphorically speaking, we need to have rain, before seeing a colourful rainbow. David
  11. Hi there... Yep, the chocolate was brill... And... I didn't make a special point of washing my hands first! Something happened today... I had to use de-icer on the windscreen of the car... I got some on my hands... I put the bottle safely away, but didn't actually wash my hands, until I got to my son's house... And that was because I expected to eat some sandwiches, and I didn't want to taste anything. Mind you, we breathe the fumes in when the fan is on, and it so far, in our lifetime, has never caused any problems for me... So I guess it is safe... Perhaps the 'contamination', if we can call it that, was mixed with a bit of 'Bontamination', to equal it out... It will be the same when we use the windscreen washers... That stuff smells real nice! But I don't go so far as to sniff it endlessly! And we've not been told what is in air fresheners... Does anyone remember the 'Flit' guns of the 1960's. It came in a tin which had a type of air pump mounted on top... I don't think it has done me any lasting damage, and as to whether or not it was effective against household flies, I really don't remember! I haven't seen 'Bluebottles' for a great many years... As far as everything getting possibly cross Con/bontaminated at the supermarket checkouts, I just dumped it all on the conveyor belt, with the tins at the front, so when it all extremely rapidly went back into the trolley, I wouldn't crush the precious bread, under all the tins, of all sorts of things... Had a 'meal deal' today for a change... I don't expect any tummy ache... In my lifetime, it has always been reasonably okay, or I wouldn't be sitting here typing this! David
  12. I would always expect the worst outcome, so I could plan for it should it happen. The problem was, when it didn't happen, which was most of the time, I wouldn't notice the good times, because I was too busy planning for the 'next' disaster. Yes, things do go wrong sometimes, but in reality, much less frequently than the good times. In his book 'Feeling good, the new mood therapy', Dr David Burns has a whole section on 'Cognitive distortions', that is, thought distortions, of which Catastrophising is just one example. I really wish I still had my copy, cos I used to refer to it often. He's a good teacher, and guides the reader into challenging the intrusive thoughts, rather than responding to them. David
  13. Hi, Thank you both for your kind words. Had a great time with the grandchildren today, It is good to see that they are becoming just as crazy as me! I don't entirely admit to it though... I'm trying to look at everything in a more positive way... Even when things don't always go right, it just seems to be a better way for me to handle the situation. Christmas becomes a focus... But not everyone is gonna be happy... A lot of very sobering thoughts come to mind at Christmas... Even the music can bring back awful memories... So much of the music was recorded in the seventies and eighties, a time when my own life was really quite a struggle. It still is, sometimes. In a few short months we will hopefully have warm evenings when we can sit in the garden... In my case, a small yard with astroturf type stuff. (No weeding or mowing!) It is very easy for us Ocd'ers to get overwhelmed with stuff, but, a breath at a time, it is possible to climb back up again, at least, for most of the time, these days... Chocolate is supposed to be a good mood lifter, but not so good for the teeth... I don't care, it tastes nice! Especially fruit and nut! Speak again soon, David
  14. Well... So far, so good... I've been listening to the new ABBA album on cd. There are some really good words... The songs are pretty amazing, being sung as they are, by people who are in their seventies! Another favourite is Jeff Wayne's War of the worlds album. Very inspiring. Our favourite music can be a useful distraction to our dreaded intrusive thoughts. As a child, I was very into the books by Enid Blyton... The adventures always turned out okay. It is nearly time to take down the Christmas decorations... I think it will be a good idea to leave some lights up, the bright colours can really lift the atmosphere of a room. A couple of my grandchildren are visiting this afternoon... They are a lot of fun, although I don't think I could cope with them all of the time! I will try not to catastropise anything... I will make real effort to 'Keep things simple'. My clothes have always, for as far back as I can remember, been reasonably clean, so if Ibrush my hands down, and then eat a favourite biscuit, or sandwich, for me, it has always been okay so far... I'm eating a sandwich right now, and keep unconsciously brushing the crumbs off my cothing... Hopefully 2022 will bring us a good outcome... Whatever, it already has been, and will continue to be, a heck of a ride! David
  15. The thing is that, during our lifetime, things have always been 'less than perfectly clean... Biologically, we need this to be so, as children it is part of our natural defences building up. Another way to view is to say that our 'Good guys', need the 'Bad guys' to strengthen on. The awkward thing at present, is that in oder to combat the Covid virus, we are using antibacterials on everything, so inevitably, some of the 'Good guys' are getting bumped off too... David
  16. Hi there. Check out Rob Willson, and Rhena Branch. I also recommend my good friend Marcus john Kim, Also Dr David Burns (Not me!). Happy new year everyone! David
  17. How about over thirty years of mental health experience... qualifications held in Psychology, Sociology and Human Biology... It isn't haunting me... I'm actually enjoying life now, and studying with the open university. We can refer to Isaac Newton's third law, equal and opposing forces - Immuniy. And Marcus john kim books are brilliantl! I hereby rest my case...
  18. Hi there... Does your doctor do relaxation sessions? There are also some really good anxiety release videos on youtube. I believe that Paul McKenna is still producing recordings. Hypnotherapy is a form of deep relaxation, during which our minds are able to absorb positive ideas and suggestions. David
  19. Go on, I dare you! Minimising it... Are we at risk of ANY thing when kissing? I reckon it is a risk worth taking... If you can do it, then maybe I can too... David
  20. Hi, this phenomenon of thought, is described as 'Catastrophisation', a cognitive distortion, by a Doctor David Burns, in his brilliant book, 'Feeling good, the new mood therapy,. I actually gave my copy away... He goes on to explain how to deal with such thoughts. It was a great help to me, so the book got shared! It is available on Amazon. Thinking about it, I intend to get another copy of it myself. For a really good CBT challenge, buy a copy second hand... David
  21. And the quickest, and easiest way to get something done... Is to Simply begin... Right now... Start with breathing control... Relaxation exercises can have amazing results on the way we think about things... Positive thoughts e
  22. Cora, We have the right to make mistakes, whenever and wherever we wish, so that over time we can adapt and learn from them. We all are human and fallible, and that means all of us. We are all learning and adapting all the time, and that process is both wonderful and beautiful. Both you and I are totally unique, because we care just a little too much. In religious circles, they have the acronym JOY. It unfortunately is supposed to mean, 'jesus first, others second, and yourself last. There is a major flaw in it... If we followed that theory, we would never, ever, have time for ourselves... Because others will take advantage of your good nature. A thought to consider this Christmas... If you yourself were my therapist, and I came to you with all the difficulties you describe... What would you, yourself suggest? And write that down, and refer to it often... It's just a thought... The person who never made a mistake has never existed, at least, not in human form... Be kind to yourself this Christmas. David
  23. Hi everyone. Let's all hope for a reasonably steady Christmas. I'm first in the queue for chocolates and biscuits šŸ˜‹ As I used to make a lot of pretty big mistakes in my life, I will be reading that article 'guilt release ' by Diviniti publishing, so I can come to terms with being beautifully human and fallible, with an absolute right to not only make mistakes,but also then learn from that how to then do things right. We'll, at least, some of the time! Happy Christmas everyone! David šŸ™‚šŸ™‚šŸ™‚šŸ™‚
  24. Wow! It's nearly Christmas again! This evening we were out, and heard a band playing Christmas carols... The only downside was that the in-store Cafe closed early. I do like my lattes) We are spending Christmas with parts of our family, and to be honest, they are very fussy eaters, so it is Rustlers quarterpounders for Christmas dinner!!! The bread roll is warmed in the toaster, the readycooked burger done in the microwave, bung on a cheese slice, and wallah! It's a lot less work than all the stuff we did many years ago... But it is filling, quick and delicious. I tend to just wash hands before starting, and then just ely on the wrappers to be clean enough to handle. Instead of Christmas cake, it will be ordinary rich fruit cake, and microwaved custard... Real nice. The point being, I'm not going to try and do too much on the day... OCD can rear it's head at any time, so the easier we make it all, the better... I think some relatives have taken offence, but I still have the rest of the garden, figuratively speaking. I've been listening to music by Enya. Paint the sky with stars is a brill album, and can be found on youtube. Very relaxing... Anyone else on here got hyperactive grandchildren? I'm hoping to see a bit of TV over the festive period, although some of it could be quite depressing... What are you all doing over Christmas? David
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