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Everything posted by Dakagraphics-David

  1. Bump! Just exactly who is running this forum? There are six of you who are actively bullying... This is illegal, and totally against the spirit of any self-help forum. This is so obvious... I am considering taking this issue higher, for the sake of the real ocd sufferers on here. David
  2. Hi Ashley... Do us real sufferers a favour and check out the treatment of 'Cora' on the so-called support forums. You have several bullies on there... If you just look at the posts by 'Cora' you will see what I mean. This forum claims to be supportive. I beg to differ, and have recently cancelled my membership. Administrators and moderators are supposed to set an example, not bully contributors. David
  3. Do any of you have a viable suggestion of what will help Cora? If so, it sure hasn't happened yet, has it?
  4. Well, today I am supposed to be studying... I hate reading... I do so wish that more books were made as audiobooks. Trouble is that, then I fall asleep half way through... I have the fun reputation as the guy who fell asleep and started snoring loudly, in a cinema, during a screening of one of the Harry Potter movies! Apparently I caused quite a stir, and my family now flatly refuse to go to a cinema with me! As a student, I am soon going to make a study visit to a medical library... Are all the books sanitized? What, all 500,000 of them? People will pick their noses in libraries, just as they do, everywhere else... In an ice rink, I have seen people, after a skating session, remove their skates, take off the thick socks, and put them in their pocket, and lace up their outdoor shoes to go home... Carrying their wet skates by the blades, Without a moments thought... My CBT therapist had a good one, he would remove his shoe, place his bare hand flat inside, then have an apple for lunch... The thought absolutely makes my skin crawl, but he never missed an appointment due to illness... I'm not for a moment suggesting that we try to do the same, but, if that is safe for others, then, just maybe, what we actually fear, is probably safe too? At least we are 'reasonably clean'. Okay, time for a Coffee, in my not so perfect insulated beaker. Now that definitely isn't going to be sterile... David
  5. Maybe... Just maybe, there are things we can never find the solution to. Perhaps it is taken out of our hands because, as mere humans, we will tend to have a lack of understanding of how it all works... A lot of scientific theory of how our minds work, would be baffling, but we know the feelings generated by a warm sunny day. Sure, vitamin D may help, produced when our skin is exposed to sunlight, but we tend to just feel a little brighter, when the weather is doing the same. Hearing a favourite song, isn't linked to an ability to read music notation. Babies and children seem to be able to just get on with things, without looking at the detail too much. A book that comes to mind here is 'Don't sweat the small stuff', by a Richard Carlson. It is available quite cheaply, and in his title, he actually suggests that 'everything, It's all small stuff'. I must get a copy of my own. It's not just Ocd based, it covers a lot of other stuff as well. David
  6. Reassurance will never work... It is totally counterproductive... A sticking plaster over a gaping wound... Reassurance, as much as we naturally go in search of it, just doesn't work. I don't know why, it just doesn't. In our time on this planet, the good deeds we do, and the good things about us as individuals vastly outnumber any faults we perceive ourselves to have. But society doesn't look at our strengths... It is all about trying to improve on our weaknesses, which is actually a stupid thing to do. In school we were expected to be good at all our subjects. My younger sister had eight A levels... I wasn't allowed to do more than a basic 5, CSE's, so I was downgraded before I started. But no one can be good at everything, or indeed be perfect. Regardless of what our schoolteachers told us. We di well in the subjects where we liked the teacher, and the teacher just happened to like us. And a lot of the teachers I came across may have known a lot about their subjects, but, ability to teach? No. No. My teachers were ****. At nursing school I tried project 2000. It got scrapped, cos quite simply, it was total rubbish. Any way, reassurance from someone else usually means they are after something. An ulterior motive. A hidden agenda, if you like. If we take time to consider our own good points, and we all have them, including you, Cora, then we can begin to praise ourselves for the unique goodness that is in all of us... Self praise, Self talk, the way we talk to our best friends, actually works... We all have our own unique place in the world. Cora, both you and I have an absolute right to do things wrong sometimes. We all have a 'history'. Okay, something went wrong, and I would hazard a guess that, what I did wrong in healthcare, is a damn sight more wrong than anything you could ever have done... I'm in my mid sixties, and I have done a lot of things wrong in that time. Letting go is an acquired skill... But letting go of it all, maybe just the thing we both need to do right now... I'll try if you will too... Shall we start, Now..? David
  7. All books now available on Amazon, one actually in large print... It was a visit to a car showroom yesterday... No social distancing, no masks, but they did have antibacterial gel by the door... No coffee though... Then, as we were having a lift in someone else's car, it was dinner at a restaurant by way of thanks. The knives and forks were not shiny anymore... The food order screen wasn't brilliant... But we coped... Everything was pay by card, which, to be honest, is better for me, as I don't carry change. It weighs the pocket down... We had cheese sandwiches this evening... Now, be brutally honest... Do you, or have you ever, in your lifetime... Washed a new pack of cheese before placing it in the fridge? Supermarket cheese tends to come pre-packed in plastic. By the time we get it home, it will have been handled by at least three different people... And that's not including the till operator, who has handled everything... And everyone else's everything... But we don't become ill... If you buy cheese in a frozen food shop, the till operator will probably be wearing wet gloves... But if we just push the thoughts away... As soon as possible after they enter our mind, metaphorically, jump up and down on them. Demand that they go away... Fight for our right to be free... We can get away with not washing the pack... Just as we have done so far... To be honest, I pinch a slice of cheese anyway... Eat it while I'm buttering the bread... In the 1960's, cooked meats and cheese were weighed on the same weighing scales, separated only by thin sheets of paper. And none of that would have been sterile... But we've survived... Biologically, we have survived, maybe even got stronger... Anyway, the cheese was fine, as was the tub of margarine, and the bread, and the fingers I handled it with... So... Next time you feel the panic of an Ocd spike, regarding contamination fears, consider the evidence we already have around us, proving that we are not responsible for everyone else's happiness... They are... We don't blame everyone else... For some reason, we give others all the rights, and ourselves, none of the rights... Let's give ourselves equal rights as to those we give everyone else... The recording 'Desiderata', by Les Crane, comes to mind here... Check it out on youtube... David
  8. Today, it was another long drive... Out and return... 6 hours or so, with half an hour for lunch... In a finger restaurant... You know, the one where everyone orders and pays for food by using touch screens... To be honest, they didn't even look clean... If I consider the idea that, whatever will be present on those touch screens will not be sufficient to overwhelm my natural defences, I'll be okay... Or if it should trigger my natural defences into action, themselves becoming stronger in the process, then that is okay too... In the food court, We all take the same amount of risk. On the credit card reader, there is the numbered buttons, and the enter button that at some point started off green... Thousands of people use these facilities every day... And don't get me started about fuel pumps... Sheer greed by the fuel providers... The car goes back to the mobility centre on Monday... It is too big for our use, and where we live, parking is at a premium... We had a couple of our grandchildren visit today... Hyperactive is an understatement! But they are a welcome event during the weekend. Tomorrow it will be church... I do use the antibacterial gel provided, but have to be careful, cos one plungerfull is enough for four people, and it takes ages to dry off the hands... Things are relaxing a bit now... We don't have to have masks on when sitting down... Ironically, at the motorway services, I was the only guy wearing a mask... But if anyone had said anything, I would have suggested that I had Covid, and I was protecting them... But no one spoke... Okay, that is it for now... Everytime I close my eyes I see traffic... Until tomorrow then... David
  9. Hi guys! Well, I kept the cuddly dinosaur! Apparently it was too big for my grand daughter to have in her bed! So now it is a grandson who plays with it when he visits... Anyway, I absolutely adore it myself! And all the other cuddly toys I seem to be amassing! The Marcus John Kim books are doing well, with the latest only on kindle at present, there are issues around the creation of the cover for the paperback version, which will hopefully be available real soon. (Not in a nutshell, The Concept of Bontamination'. I am now studying with the open university... Learning about how I became the happy person I am today. I've bought a new mattress, for sleep comfort... I'm hoping it will be okay, cos, there's absolutely no way it will ever go back in the packaging to return it!!! I got a free pillow with it... That has a label with it that suggests that, for hygiene reasons, I should replace it every two years!!! Now come on... I've had the same pillows for at least the last 15 years!! As long as they keep their springiness, they are fine, and have been, since the day I first slept in a bed with a pillow... 60 plus years... Am I ill? Well, not in that way!!! A couple of days ago, I had to deliver a car... It meant driving over 200 miles, on my own... Even with the satnav, I still got a bit lost, but still reached my destination safely... There had been no urge to go back and check anything... And the car ran fine... Sometimes life seems to be like juggling, trying to keep everything up in the air, for fear of metaphorically smashing something on the floor... But... And it is a big But... Somethings stay up on their own... Metaphorically speaking... Those that don't, bounce gently and land unbroken on the floor along side me, metaphorically speaking... So... To just let go... is absolute bliss... A tremendous sense of relief... And then, without going about trying to remember everything... Without the stress, my memory actually improves... And that is brilliant! Accept the situation for what it is... Accept ourselves for who we are... And when we self-talk... Do it the same way we would as we do our best friend... Because, we need to be our own best friends... Cos we know ourselves better than anyone else on the planet... For my own heart... I know, that I have always tried to do my very best... It's often not good enough for anyone else... But for me... It's okay... Because I know, better than anyone else, what it has taken for me to get where I am today... More later... David
  10. Today, it was a trip out in the car... Just to get it washed... Of course, it then started raining... Anyway, Normally, I very rarely drive. It is easier to just sit and watch. The SatNav is becoming out of date, so some roads don't exist yet, despite them having tarmac and lines etc. I try to keep my distance from the car in front, but most behind come up real close... Sandwiches for lunch. Are my hands clean enough? Indeed, Are anyone's hands clean enough? The number of times I have been to the recycling centre, and then eaten biscuits on the way home... Studying... Reading reference books, and then also eating biscuits... Especially chocolate ones! Anything on my reasonably clean hands will at most, trigger my natural defences to become stronger... Tomorrow we take a disability car back to the showroom, we have terminated the contract. Mobility cars come with a lot of rules to adhere to. When we hand it back, will it be clean enough? Well, Yes... The next person to drive it will, by very nature itself, have less than perfect hands... They will be at more risk to themselves, than I am to them... There is no cause for concern, but of course, us Ocd'ers try to take the blame for everyone else's. I worry about getting into trouble, by mistake... Yes I break the speed limits sometimes, but only just... I have the right to get things wrong sometimes, just as you do, dear reader. That way I learn how not to do something, and understand why... Rant over! In my family, we have a couple of antagonists... If they are feeling down, then I have no right to feel happy, and vice versa... They nearly always take the opposing view... Regardless... It is such hard work communicating with them. One of them is a driver... Whenever I go in their car, it is with the stereo blasting their particular genre of music out very loud... Almost as if they are attacking me, which is of course, stupid...' I've got grandchildren who are more sensible. This Ocd life is damn hard work... We deal with intrusive thoughts, forever telling us we are not good enough... Those that can, do... Those that can't, Judge... When we sleep, What is on the pillow? And has been for our entire lives... So far, so good... I have to sleep... Okay, that's it for now... David
  11. Anyone else like toasted Crumpets? Spread with butter, and your favourite spread? We eat them the same way we do do-nuts... At the seaside... Using our bare fingers... The sugar gets everywhere... As children we lick the sugar off our fingers, then wipe our fingers dry down our clothing... Multiple times... After bathing in the sea... Then it is fish and chips... Bontaminated with just the right amount of salt and/or vinegar... Mmmmm... Tomorrow it will be toast and marmalade, I think... David
  12. Just to announce that, the books, "In a nutshell, The concept of Bontamination", by Marcus John Kim, is now available on Amazon Kindle, and in print form, On the Amazon website. Also, the book "Not in a nutshell, The concept of Bontamination", by Marcus John Kim, is now available on Amazon kindle only, at present. Just thought I'd mention it...
  13. Acceptance... Blind Acceptance of the way we are today... When we talk to ourselves, and we all do, we need to speak in the same tone as we would, to our very best friend. Because, at the end of the day, sometimes ourselves is the only real friend we have got...
  14. My friend Marcus and I have been out shopping today... They came up with this... ''And what about the flu jab, childhood immunisations, and travel immunisations when we visit certain countries abroad... Are they classed as Bontaminants? After all, they pose no threat, or overwhelmment, if anything, they induce a reaction, so the body develops resistance...'' Now, I'm no virologist, but, after having the Covid jabs, is Omicron, a variant, a spin-off as a result of our bodies internally developing against the enemy?' Or am I way off here? It definitely just goes to show how fantastic our natural systems are... David
  15. Hi, The important point is that we have to be reasonably clean. In biological terms 'Normal Flora' is supposed to be present. It is very important that we follow the guidelines regarding pandemic situations, but in 'Ordinary' situations, As long as the supposed 'contaminant' is going to be insufficient to overwhelm ours, or someone else's natural defences, but instead, at the worst scenario simply 'stimulates' our natural defences, then that is actually a good thing, a 'Bon'tamination situation. Maybe that is how we cope with what I call 'Finger restaurants', that is eateries where food is served, but we use no cutlery... Anybody on here know how Allergies happen? Now, that would be a good one to know, especially in these days of nut allergies etc, and dangerous Anaphalytic shock, I don't even know if that is the right spelling(!!) . We have all sorts, Lactose intolerance is found in my family, and also Lanolin allergy. The thing is, we all need to be able to touch door handles, otherwise we'd be trapped in rooms... David
  16. Hi there, I was sitting with my mate Marcus today, and he has come up with something... He could be miles off, and yet, some of it actually makes sense to me... Something we have all done a lot of during our lifetimes... We wrote something out together, He said he would put it on another forum that he goes on... Here it is... Starting off, reasonably clean... In other words, just used the gel at the shop doorway once, or washed hands, just once, after using the loo in a shop for instance... If, when we touch a door handle, for instance, whatever we pick up off, or put down on that handle, is not enough to overwhelm the natural defences of another person touching it… Instead of it being ‘Contamination’, as it is not totally bad, and at worst will give the natural defences something to fight, and therefore strengthen on, in turn, strengthening the persons natural defences, in a good way… That’s ‘Bontamination’ Isn’t it? Just like common salt… There needs to be just enough… Not too much to ruin the flavour, Hypothetically speaking... And that amount varies from person to person… But our natural defences are everything we have, to protect ourselves from the world… We need them to be strong enough… The stronger the better… I reckon as strong as possible... Pass it on to our children... David
  17. Now Now! I didn't say it quite like that... This is muckraking... This is supposed to be a empathic, supportive, helpful forum. It's just a new idea from someone, that's all. In OCD we all need all the help we can get!!! Best wishes, David
  18. I actually wrote that last night... I'm having great difficult uploading stuff on here... Is anyone else having problems? David
  19. Hi everyone... Long time, no see... Things are going reasonably well for me at the moment. My mate Marcus John Kim is currently working on a website to showcase their books... I'll let you know, all in good time. In the meantime, they are available on Amazon as books, or kindle as electronic files. The two novels are really pleasant reading too, with a bit of young love in them too. Tomorrow our grandchildren come to us for a few hours. We have crisps, cans of pop, and biscuits... It won't calm them down, but hey, we are blessed with wonderful grandchildren, all individuals in their own unique way. I've inherited another cuddly toy... I may be in my sixties, but they are nice and colourful to have around the house. And oh so lovely to handle. I do most of the cooking in our house, and now we actually have a new cooker, it is a learning curve. A short time ago I did a thin crust garlic bread with cheese on top. It was only in for a very short time, but still came out like a biscuit! When I was at work, I used to make rhubarb crumbles... Sometimes the top came out like a manhole cover! On the times I did get that bit right, I would use the wrong grade sugar, and it would be like chewing half-set concrete! I have started watching Russell Howard on youtube. He has a brilliant take on the events and situations in the world, and he can be very funny... A great mood lifter. As do several people I know, only one person drives the car, and my wife is our lead driver. I actually prefer to just sit and watch the countryside and houses going by, wondering if one day we'll have something special of our own. It is good to see lot's of people taking part on the forums, it is by chatting to each other that we can really try to help each other along. This OCD is an absolute B. I will look in from time to time, I'm up to my neck with studying now. It is not something I'm used to, so it is difficult to time-manage it all... Speak again soon hopefully. David
  20. Hi there. Yes. Coping okay at present. I may be on medicines for ever, but never mind, at my age, I don't have to pay, yet... I realised this evening, that I actually do 'baby breathing', that is breathing into the stomach. It is a very efficient way of using our lungs. I've read about it somewhere. When we are most anxious, we tend to breathe with the upper part of our chest. There is a programme on TV called 'Faking it', where they show us how a professional can tell when we are being truthful and honest. They study some really nasty people, and keep them away from us ordinary folk. I'd like to learn more about being able to do that kind of work... David
  21. Hi there, Yep Saturday went reasonably okay... I'm actually upping my understanding of Psychology... I wonder about doing Forensic Psychology, cos that sounds fascinating... Having said that, the amount of Psychology that goes into planning the layout of a modern supermarket is absolutely amazing! For instance... The instore bakery has absolutely nothing to do with the sale of bread!!! Many years ago, I read about a study of when Men and women go shopping together, why is it often the man who pushes the trolley around? Well... One school of thought it would be the man being the protector of the food in the trolley, effectively guarding it. Well, after a few years of marriage, I can safely say that it has more to do with the Mans' possibility of choosing the wrong stuff from the shelves, so he resorts to the comparative safety of pushing the trolley, while his wife fills the trolley! Right or wrong becomes irrelevant at this point!!!! Tomorrow I'm going to be helping my mate with his website, And listening to him play his electronic organ. Cora... We are allowed to experience pleasure... I heard somewhere that going as far as enjoyment, is limited to the human species... If it is so wrong to experience pleasure, the human race would have probably died out many millennia ago. How can something so pleasant be so wrong? Back to me... I like a nice 'sensual' story... And my mate writes those as well! You can't beat a good love story... When something happens in love and friendship, it is beautiful and wonderful... It is part of what makes ourselves really special... Simply because we care... Perhaps a little too much? David
  22. Something a friend of mine said to me was... Just maybe, things will get better... I watch Norman Wisdom films... That guy had a horrendous upbringing, but he actually managed to turn it around, and actually use it to his advantage... This can still happen... Whilst we have life... It can still happen... I guess the awful thing is that, right now, that doesn't seem possible... BUT... We have to go through the rain to see the eventual rainbow, metaphorically speaking. I probably would sound awful to my childhood family... But I really believe that I am better off without them... My childhood was largely a nightmare... So it became up to me to rebuild my life into something I was okay with... Sod all the others... They were unpleasable anyway... Now I've moved away, they are probably still the same, but I'm out of earshot... I found solace in fiction books... Enid Blyton got me through my formative years... Don't blink now, or you'll miss it... This pandemic has been pure hell for a lot of people, it has isolated us as well, but, just maybe... Just maybe... There are good times ahead. (I sure hope so) David
  23. Here we are, at another weekend... Having said that, my days just flow... I am studying, so sit and read quite a lot... Whilst doing so, I have headphones on, and listen to relaxation music... Really soothing... And I can shut the rest of the world out... I've started watching Norman Wisdom films on you tube... They are funny, but also carry quite a lot of emotion... Norman Wisdom had quite a troubled childhood, but went on to use this to do some amazing performances... He was also a really good singer for his time... There is a saying that 'If life gives you a lemon... Make a lemonade...' So, from a really bitter experience, turn it around and make it into one of the most refreshing fizzy drinks there is... Finding some sort of contentment... It's not all about impressing other people, that is sometimes totally impossible, it is about finding peace with ourselves... A Brilliant recording to listen to is 'Desiderata' recorded in the 1960's or thereabouts, by Les Crane. And Music... 'If', by Bread... Tomorrow should be a lie in... I have music on in m y bedroom, to help drive the intrusive thoughts away, planning for (hopefully) better times ahead... Springtime is not that far away now, when the flowers appear, and the evenings will be warm enough to sit out in the garden with a firepit... The album 'Forever' by Kool and the gang, has some good music from the disco era... David
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