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Of course it helps thank you. Yes if its cool and you have time you can share more info from the book.

It's true. There's no certainty in life at all. But why some people in my situation don't experience what I do when they are doing the same thing? It's like they know they did nothing. They are certain... Or maybe they are not because if they experience anxiety, doubt they will feel how I feel. Yeah I think I like a lot my comfort zone and sometimes I don't want to leave it because if I do I will have to be open to anxiety, uncertainty an doubt.. And who wants that? I prefer to be save and not experience none of that but if i do that i will stay in the same place without getting better.

You can share anything - articles, books, Youtube channels, videos etc. Also if you have been in therapy you can share if you want tips, advices that helped you. What do you do when thought comes, how you deal with the anxiety, if the thought is real or ocd thought ( fake ) , how do you deal with the uncertainty. How you push yourself to do exposures when you know there will be anxiety, uncertainty etc. Sometimes when I do exposure and it gives me anxiety, doubt, uncertainty, and then i do another exposure ( different from the 1st ) i can deal with the symptoms better because if the fear from my 1st exposure is real then why I should worry about the other. I struggle when I'm in a happy place, for example if i have to go to a birthday or to buy a new phone for example and when a do exposure, the thought comes then the anxiety, doubt, uncertainty and the same questions what if my fear is true .. I know that's very common for ocd but still it's hard to accept at first.

I won't read them for reassurance. It's just different when someone explain it well so you can understand it. Some people use metaphors and that's great because it's easier to imagine. What do you do when your brain is saying the thing you are scared about it's already happening or happened but in reality its not? Sometimes my brain is very strange... I can see an object and to recognize that object but OCD make me doubt is it really that? It's looking like the thing I'm scared of ( the trigger ). When I'm at home my brain is thinking this is safe zone there's not triggers but if I get out of the house lol the brain is scanning everything thinking there's a lot of dangers. It's like a danger zone but in reality it's not because I was able to do everything I'm scared to do right now and there was no anxiety and intrusive images / thoughts. OCD make me doubt, makes me think what if i'm not careful enough? When I do exposures ( daily activities ) I do them with family member. Because If my mind throws at me some intrusive image or video ( when I watch a movie or videos ) I will be able to dismiss it because I wasnt alone when I did exposure. Now I know this is compulsion because I must remove reassurance and I'm working on that. The sad part is mostly I can do exposures if only theres no one else to do it... If I must do it.. I'm working on that to try to do the exposures alone and more often. If there was no intrusive images from videos and movies OCD would be much easier to handle but it is what it is. I will just let the anxiety be there, and the uncertainty. Thank you for your help all your advices are really helpful.

You definitely helped me. But I'm the one who needs to apply all I learned to get better. Maybe it was long time ago but can you give me some links ( if its allowed here ) about what you was reading? The blogs, the BMJ resources? Thank you again! If you remember them would be amazing if not you helped me really a lot. The more I know about OCD it's better.

Exactly! I always say to myself that all I have to do is just to do my daily activities and if I get intrusive thought or images, just don't solve it and continue doing the activities. You help me a lot. And you know a lot about OCD. Most of the times it's like I'm talking with a therapist. Thank you for that. You said you read and watch a lot about OCD? Can you share some of your resources it doesn't matter if it's a book, articles or Youtube channel. Maybe that will help me even more. If you watch Youtube channels about OCD who do you think are the best? I follow some of them. Have a nice day!

I agree. Also if I do compulsion is even worse because my mind is playing tricks on me and if I see there's no danger then my mind will send me some intrusive image later on and ask me as always what if.... But anyway I understood I don't need to asnwer any of this. I know it's different for everyone but to get better and reduce compulsion, rumination etc I need to do exposures. How you do the exposures? I mean we prefer safety, no anxiety, no fear of the uncertainty. For example if I don't do any exposures I can watch videos and if i receive intrusive images doesn't bother me that much ( it's like im without OCD ) because I didn't do the exposure. It's easier to just mark it as spam. But it's mainly because I didn't do exposures and the fear is just not real. But if I keep avoiding I must stay in my house only.... Which is worse... Because if I do exposure maybe in that moment I will experience intrusive images, thoughts or anxiety or maybe later on when I'm done with the exposure and for example I watch some video and the brain save some images and send it as intrusive image... the anxiety and the fear of the uncertainty comes. Maybe I just need to do the exposures without ruminating that much. I really appreciate your help.

You are absolutely right. I know I need to learn to live with the uncertainty but It's just so hard to... How can I continue my day if my worst fear happened? That's the hard part... Because we don't know if our worst fear happened or not... We can't trust ourselves. Or we can but the mind is lying to us... The anxiety comes, feeling worse etc... But on the other hand if I keep avoiding I will make my circle smaller and smaller... And then I will be worse... If I keep doing compulsions I will "solve" everything for today but what on the next day? It will come I day where I will need to do exposure and I won't be able to do that... The problem is I don't want to experience anxiety, or most importantly the feeling of the uncertainty... But that somehow needs to change... It's funny years ago how I didn't even think about the obsessions I'm thinking right now when I do exposures... Everything I was doing and I mean everything before OCD wasn't a problem in my life. Now I do the same things ( exposures ) I did before and now I experience obsessions ( intrusive images, thoughts, videos ), anxiety, stress, depression... How to answer to my OCD with answer like maybe, maybe not? Maybe happened maybe it didn't? How to let the intrusive images, thoughts and videos to be there without engaging? OCD is talking to me and I don't want to listen to it or answer its questions but some of them are really possible but the chance is so low... But OCD makes it feel so real so threating... I see a lot of people do the things I'm so scared to do... They do them without feeling anxiety, without intrusive images, videos etc.. I wish I appreciated my life even more without OCD in the past... Your thread is really helpful and I think you accomplished your goal. You helped me to really understand my OCD more and to prepare myself to manage my OCD.

Thanks! Basically it's like you are saying it but how to know if that's OCD thought ( obsession, false signal ) and not a real thought? That's the bigger problem for me. OCD make it feel so real... And I don't know if it's really OCD or not.

You are right! Huge thanks! Can I share a little bit more about my OCD if you can help me even more? Thank you so much! If the answer is yes you can check the threads I posted or even I can write it here again it's not a problem I just want to get better...

Thank you for this amazing post! I will read it a couple of times again because I saw a lot of truth in your post. Because you said you know a lot of about OCD can you tell me how can I recover ( manage ) from Hit and Run OCD, or just Responsibility OCD? Also can you please recommend me resources where I can read or watch about OCD? I know a lot of Youtube channels and I read some self help books but maybe you can give me another suggestions.

In life there's nothing guaranteed. I know that. I don't care about myself like I do care about other people. I don't want to hurt no one, just wishing them all the best. it's not about the future that much than it is about right now. Maybe the only chance I have is to dismiss every thought, every image and video. Even when I don't know if it's OCD I need to keep dismissing them. Maybe it is maybe it's not. Of course easier said than done.. But what other chances I have? I don't have money to spend to find a therapist, also there's not enough good therapists here. The only chance is to read self help books and forum posts. Thank you for the help always!

Thank you for the response. Yes it's true I need to stop rewinding, stop taking screenshots, notes etc. But how when it's so hard? Every signal OCD send me is false but the problem is we think maybe this time it's not OCD how can I know it's OCD... It's really hard to live with the uncertainty. Anxiety can lasts minutes or hours. But it can be back a couple of times of the day because we want certainty to completely go away... Some people are certain. They know they did or didn't do something. It's not the same for us with OCD... As I said before I reduced some of my compulsion but with OCD is like if a avoid something triggering OCD doesn't go away it will affect other areas of my life. Somehow I can deal with the anxiety at the moment when I do exposure but the intrusive images / videos are the bigger problem for me. And I don't know how to ignore them when they look so real. And if I do exposure close to what I watched and I don't know from where I saw that that's the hard part.... I don't know what to read, to watch or listen... But I want to get better. OCD makes me think that everyone is saying to not pay attention to the thoughts, images, videos but the hard part is how... If I stay with the anxiety and after some time I see the signal is false again then how that will teach me to get better when I will have to wait some time to see if what OCD says is false.. I think I can't recover from OCD... I hope I will but it's hard.

Hello! I will not go into details about my OCD theme because I already shared it before, but my question today is how to overcome this type of obsession: - Everytime when I watch a video on Youtube or a movie, I have to rewind it so I can be sure that what my brain thinks is not reality ( from my life ) but it's just from the video I'm watching. What I do? I just watch a movie or a video, then expience some triggers as photos or videos, my ocd wants from me to save it so I can look them to relieve my anxiety and uncertainty, and when I do exposure I start to doubt, expirience anxiety and a lot of uncertainty. I'm like did I saw that? I can preview it in my mind so maybe I really saw that... Maybe it's not just a thought... But guess what... What my ocd or mind says is always false... My obsession is - Wait, maybe that ( trigger as photo or video ) what I saw happened in my life ( when I did exposure ) ? Even If I don't do exposure and I watch a video my brain will say to me to save that photo or video so when I do the exposure and later I see this images I would know it's just from the video I watched. My compulsion is - I have to rewind it again so I can remove the doubt and to be sure that happened in the video not in my real life. If I watch a 5 minute video that can make me spend hours to make sure everything is just from the video not from my life. My other compulsion is to save the video, take a screenshot etc. I just can't stop doing that. I can reduce it a little bit but that's all... Even for a day if I reduce it the next time is going to be the same.. Avoidance - I want to watch a lot of movies, videos but I can't because that brings a lot of obsessions, doubt, uncertainty, anxiety etc. If my brain throws at me an obsession ( image, video ) and I can't remember did I saw that from a movie, video or its just from my life I experience a lot of anxiety, headache etc. As I said I want to watch videos and movies but OCD always finds a trigger, and if I don't do compulsion later I will experience anxiety..... And a lot of uncertainty. Here's some examples so you can understand me better - For example I watched action movie with a lot of fight scenes. Sometimes they show that in POV style, it's so real. If I just walk to the shop and my brain send me this image / video of that fight in POV style my brain will automatically thinks maybe I hit someone, maybe I hurt someone. I know I didnt but my brain is saying like if you didnt how do you remember that fight scene? The first person style in the movie makes it so real. For example I take the knife so I can cut some apple for example. In that situation if I watched a video or a movie with a scene with someone with a knife hurting someone my brain will send me anxiety and again will say like what if you did that? I obviously know I didn't but the anxiety and the uncertainty is so real. Another example is a movie where someone push another one and they show that in first person view. When for example I close my door my brain will send me this video and will ask me what if you push the other persos? What if that was you? And I'm like I didn't.. I just closed my door... But OCD doesn't care... There's a lot of other example but the main thing here is everything I watch my brain save pictures, video clips, and then send them when I do exposure. It's like bringing everything from the videos, movies to my real life. It's so scary to make a difference between what is real and what's not. What's real thread and what's just a intrusive thoughts, images, videos... So many times my brain send me false signal and they are always fake... And again most of the times I can't make the difference between OCD and real me..

Thank you! I follow some of those channels and they are really helpful. Everyone is saying to let the thoughts be there don't engage etc but I wish it was that easy to just recognize the OCD thoughts and mark them as spam...