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MentalChecker

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  1. OK, I agree, the title is a bit stupid, however a genuine question. You would eat the food and throw away the wrapper right? Why? Because the food tastes better right? BUT How do you know the food tastes better than the wrapper? By eating the food, and also im sure some of you, like me, have managed to get some paper from fish and chips in your mouth whilst eating and it doesn't taste nice does it? The reason for this post is this: I've managed to get to a really good stage in my life 'at the moment', after battling for many many years. Im now able 'at the moment at least' to face uncertainty, let the uncertainty be there, and not perform compulsions (over 90% of the time). And what I've realised is this, its a LOT more easier to accept uncertainty, than it is to not accept it, and instead do the compulsions... By doing compulsions and not accepting uncertainty, is a bit like always eating the food wrappers and never trying the food!! πŸ˜‹ After a while of refusing to do the compulsions, the anxiety fades away all on its own, you no longer get anxiety with the uncertainty (or if you do its on such a marginal scale that you can barely feel it), and life is so much better. But you will never know if that food tastes better than the wrapper unless you try it πŸ€” Therefore, go on and give that food a taste, and stop eating the wrappers!! 😜 Happy Saturday everybody πŸ˜€
  2. They are ALL the MOST scary things at the time when they are bothering you. I got caught out by one yesterday afternoon, and I inadvertently thought about it for a few minutes and got reassurance, ever since then it's been bothering me and i feel like I need to check it again in case I didn't check it correctly, or I didn't really feel reassured (meaning that there could be something wrong with it) , otherwise its going to bother me forever.... But.....I haven't checked it since yesterday afternoon, and although its still there in the background of my mind, asking me to check it again just one last time, then it will go away forever, I know from history that it will never be the last time, and I can NEVER be sure, therefore again from history I know it will eventually fade away...and change into something else..... I've had some that have lasted several weeks at a time, before they change into something else, and then they come back around again several months later.... It just goes to show that it was due to it catching me out thinking about it, giving it time, and getting reassurance, that has caused this problem. So... You see what I mean Nicky about reassurance? It's not good....
  3. Yes I now what you mean, I had all of that as well, and still do. But you don't need to 'shoot them off one by one', you don't need to even acknowledge them, as they come into your mind, just continue doing whatever you were doing beforehand and completely ignore them. The more you can do the above, the less you will get, and the less anxiety you will feel. Also, as a side note, please do not take this the wrong way what I'm about to say. However as great as your dads intentions are, by the sounds of things you've written above, you are getting some type of reassurance from him, which will not help you recover. ANYTHING you do or receive that reduces the anxiety, will not help, you need to let it go down on its own without any interventions from either yourself or any others.
  4. It will get easier and better providing you DONT do any compulsions πŸ‘
  5. Hi there, dont worry about what you need to say, they will extract it from you, by asking you various different questions, for example what seems to bother/worry you, and what you do when you get worries. Best advise i can give you is to be honest with the therapist, and don't be afraid of telling them anything, they've heard it all before trust me!! The above will ensure you get the best possible benefit from your sessions πŸ‘
  6. Absolutely and that's why you shouldn't do it πŸ‘
  7. Hi Nicky, I know exactly what you are referring to. When i was doing compulsions, I was getting the most uplifting of feelings right inside my heart? The only way i can try and explain it is, like when you haven't had a drink all day, and when you eventually have that drink, you feel completely refreshed with all your senses open and aware again? Its because you have had that huge weight lifted off your shoulder, the weight that has been closing all of your senses off, to enable you to closely analyse and obsess with 100% concentration on the worry. Once you get the release from the anxiety, all of the bodies senses start working again, and it feels great doesn't it? But it's very short lived..... The reason you do the compulsions is to rid yourself of the anxiety. However, if you build up the tolerance to the anxiety, the anxiety doesn't cause as much distress or last as long, therefore no need for the compulsions. That feeling I was getting when i did the compulsions was such a euphoric experience, it felt like my adrenaline was constantly racing all of the time, and its very addictive, hence another reason why you keep repeating the same behaviour, because its both anxiety reducing and a great feeling......
  8. Yep because what you've just said in your last paragraph is reassurance! Also by you 'trying to give more belief to the idea that the content of the obsessions cos let’s face it that’s what they are, are irrelevant', is also reassurance, and by doing both of those things, is why you can't move on, because by doing those things you are keeping the OCD loop going. Imagine it like an electrical circuit? If you make ANY break in the electrical circuit, the electricity (OCD in this case) it cant flow/work. Or imagine the M25 (circular motorway in the South) (sorry not being patronising but don't know where in the Country you are and important to know it's a circular motorway that keeps going around and around if you stay on it driving). To get off the motorway, you need to obviously leave at a junction/slip road, otherwise you will keep going around and around forever! And that is EXACTLY what you are doing at the moment, by doing what you are doing (i realise its unintentional and you are only doing it because you incorrectly believe its the only way to freedom - but it's not). To get out of that loop you've been in for the last 20 years, you need to do something different from what you've previously been doing, because what you've been doing doesn't work does it? Therefore take that slip road and get off the motorway!! πŸš—πŸ˜‰πŸ‘ P. S Ive had OCD (mental checking/obsessions/compulsions/reassurance) for around 34 years (but only diagnosed about 8 years ago), and I therefore do realise what you are going through Nicky. But i can honestly tell you that these last few months have been some of the best ive had, due to not doing the compulsions. Yes its been hard, but the irony is, although its hard, its actually EASIER than doing the compulsions, and i never ever thought i would have said that. Maybe you need to be able to get to a certain stage in your recovery and tolerance to uncertainty to be able to feel that, but what im saying is 100% the honest truth Nicky. Give it a go....πŸ˜‰
  9. Hi Nicky, you do realise the last two sentences in your post are asking for reassurance? You have experienced anxiety, you want reassurance, for the anxiety to go away (for a very short time), and then the anxiety will be back much stronger than last time, and the whole process will start over again. A much better way would be for you to NOT do the reassurance, let the anxiety go away on its own (it will really peak and will make you feel terrible before it starts to subside), and then the next time it comes along, you will know that you can live with the anxiety, until it fades and goes away all on its own. As ive said, ive been in some really dark places for many years, however im now managing it a lot better. Only the other morning i felt the need to do a reassurance compulsion, and i realised if i did it, then it will only help me for a very short period before it comes back again with a vengeance. I also realised that to ignore it, is so much easier than doing the time consuming and mentally draining compulsions for such a short lived free time from anxiety. I therefore let it pass on its own, without responding to it, and now i cant even tell you what it was about 😊 Have you got to a stage yet whereby you haven't responded to an anxious worry/obsession? Once you've not responded to an obsession, and realise that you were able to get through it without reassurance, you can then look at any future obsessions as just the same, and it gets easier the more you do. The hard part is being able to get to that stage and i know 1st hand it's not easy.....
  10. Sounds like you have a really great dad 😊 Just remember though, try not to fight the worries, just let them be, and let them leave on their own when ready to do so, if you try to fight them, then your still responding to them, which isn't what you should be doing, just leave them be, without responding in any way, shape, or form πŸ‘
  11. I wont tell you whether i can relate or not, as that's reassurance as well, trust me! I know all of the subtle ways of getting reassurance, as im a suffer as well remember πŸ˜‰ But what i can say is, most definitely, what you mentioned above about not getting answers, will DEFINITELY make you feel better in the 'long term'. To give you some idea, i have been in some very dark places in the past, due to my anxiety being through the roof. However now, i dont feel any anxiety, only the feeling of something not being right, it feels like when i was reassuring, there was a great big fire burning fiercely out of control, whereas now its nothing more than smouldering cinders. Its still there ready to ignite at any time if I reassure, however presently not causing me many issues. I can't comment on the medication, as even though I've been recommended them in the past, i have a thing about drugs, even prescribed drugs, that i cant bring myself to take them, which hasn't helped the situation, as i understand drugs takes the edge off the anxiety.
  12. Hi Nikki, Sorry to hear you are suffering. One thing I picked up on above, is that you are too scared and nervous to NOT ruminate over this worry? But isn't ruminating causing you to be EXACTLY what you are saying you don't want to be? i. e it IS THE RUMINATING that IS causing you to be scared and nervous.... Unfortunately it's a Paradox, and when you're caught in the OCD loop (like i have been many times), you can't see that the very thing you are doing to try and free yourself, is the exact same thing that is causing you the distress - it doesn't work! The only thing that DOES work, is to stop ruminating, do not respond with anything, no physical compulsions, no mental compulsions, and if you can do this, then you will be back exactly where you were before, like you said you wanted to me. Ive been in some very bad places also. And the more I have tried to get myself out of the dark places, the more it has caused me problems. I'm probably in one of the best places ive been in a long time now, by learning to expose myself to my problems, and learning to tolerate the anxiety it causes. We need to re-teach our bodies to accept risk, accept that we 'may' have done something bad, but then likewise we 'may' not have. Its also not a flip of a coin, or a 50/50 bet, it can be any number out of any number, i. e it could be 1 out of 100 that we 'may' have done something bad, the important thing is that we accept that we will never know 100% for certain, and that's ok, and we can live a happy, enjoyable, eventful, and fulfilling life like that, we don't need to be certain of anything πŸ‘
  13. Hi Angels, ive had my ups and downs, but when i have my downs, there is ALWAYS a compulsion in there somewhere keeping the OCD loop spinning. From what I can see above, it appears to me that you trying to get the feeling that its OCD is a Compulsion, as it reduces anxiety after you get the feeling that it's 'just OCD'. Im going through a much better time at the moment, and have found that the best way to deal with any obsession, is to give up trying to prove it right/wrong, real/unreal, OCD/Not OCD, etc, as there will ALWAYS be a 'what if', and unfortunately we have to just accept the very thing we are worried about 'may' be true. But its not a flip of a coin 50/50, it could be 99/1 or 1/99 etc, just as long as you realise it is possible, and to be able to live life accepting that your not sure and will never be sure of your obsession.
  14. Hi mate good video, but it doesn't really help me, because if this dream i had was really a memory from the past, and if it really happened, then i need to be hung and quartered....
  15. I haven't been on here for a few weeks and was doing really well on 'Managing' my issues by significantly cutting back on the amount of compulsions/reassurance I was doing. However last night i had something that hasn't really happened to me before. I had a very disturbing dream about something last night and i woke up this morning with the 'what if' its a memory or something that happened a long time ago that i had forgotten about..... I automatically went straight into reassurance mode and several times i thought about it and said to myself 'it didn't happen....' but the problem i have, is how do we REALLY know these things didn't happen? We don't do we, and have to live with the uncertainty that however disturbing these dreams were, we will never know for sure if they happened or not? I'm trying desperately to not reassure myself about it, haven't done since this morning, and when i get the worry come into my head and the 'steer' to reassure myself, i just say to myself 'I'm not doing it....' Anybody else get disturbing dreams that they worry what if it really happened and it was a forgotten memory?
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