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MentalChecker

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  1. Hi mate, you are obviously still engaging and this is keeping the OCD loop spinning, I.e Obsession, Compulsion, and then the Reassurance, and then repeat! You can't use logic to outwit OCD, you also can't Reason with OCD either, none if this will work. The only thing that will work is this. 1. Stop engaging with the thoughts/worries, refocus your time on other more meaningful things. 2. Take a risk that maybe you did/maybe you didn't (and don't try and put a percentage of probability on either one as that will also be reassurance and won't work). You may now be thinking that if you follow my advice above that you will never know and will never get any closer to the truth right? And you can't live like this? (This is a common response from the brain of someone with OCD and is what keeps the OCD loop spinning) But the REAL TRUTH is this......you will NEVER get any closer by doing the Compulsions anyway will you? As it's IMPOSSIBLE to ever know the truth! Therefore stop with all the Compulsions, take a risk as I mentioned above, and create a life for yourself and your family that is worth living
  2. Typical 'O' 'C' D O - The Obsession of thinking about what you may or may not have done. The above then causes severe anxiety that you are unable to tolerate, which then causes you to perform the next step in the cycle as below. C - You perform the Compulsion. 1. You ask friends if you acted inappropriately to relieve the anxiety. 2. You tell your wife what you may have done which relieves the anxiety. The above Compulsions are short lived, as it's only a matter of time until the next 'thought' comes into your head and you then HAVE to repeat the above again. The cycle of OCD is a learned behaviour, and unfortunately the more you do it the better it becomes (the same as anything), which means that the loop becomes so ingrained that it ends up taking over your life. The only way of breaking the cycle is to STOP the 'C - Compulsion'. As you have witnessed, seeking reassurance either by asking for reassurance from friends or confessing to your wife (which is still reassurance) is futile), it doesnt work, as you become incapable of accepting any anxiety. You need to cut out the C - Compulsion, accept the 'thought' and sit with the Anxiety which will eventually fade. When I mention above that you accept the 'thought', this is different to accepting that you actually did do the act that you are worried about. (As I understand others have been instructed by their Medical Professionals to accept that they actually did do it!). The way I have recovered (which has helped me recover over 95% and I now have my life back) is accepting that you 'may' or 'may not' have done the Act/you just dont know either way, and you need to accept this. You then give up the mandate of trying to get to the truth, as its an Impossibility!!! The above I believe is how non sufferers would deal with this type of situation, and is what we should be doing in EVERY type of Obsession regardless of the OCD theme.
  3. This is the EXACT same issue I am currently going through, although I'm a bloke (which does NOT mean it makes it any easier). I also totally blacked out, although I can remember leaving the venue and walking back to the hotel as I was sobering up. I have been sedated before and I can remember more during sedation than I can of that night, this is THE 1st time I've ever had a black out. Few things we need to remember. 1. We MUST take a RISK and NOT think about the night (which is a Compulsion to try and provide relief to the Obsession), because if we do the OCD will then create images of things that may or may NOT have happened (therefore whats the point in this as still no closer to the truth?), which then will only lead to further compulsions with Confessions to our partner. 2. We MUST NOT ask others if we acted inappropriately during the night, as they may try and wind you up that you got up to some very inappropriate things (which you may not have) not realising how much anxiety this can cause you. Secondly, even if they confirm you didn't act inappropriately, the OCD will then come up with other scenarios where you may have gone to the toilet alone, therefore the inappropriate action may have occurred in the toilet where your friend wasn't watching you. Therefore what's the point in asking others? 3. We must NOT ask on this forum for REASSURANCE (yes this is why we do it!!) and others must NOT post anything in the form of REASSURANCE, because it is a futile and a complete waste of time, as we don't know each other, we wasn't there, and we don't know if anything happened during that period you blacked out or not, therefore what's the point? And lastly, alcohol isn't the real issue here, it's OCD which IS the issue. OCD is known as the doubting disease for a very good reason, and affects you both when sober and drunk. For example how much of yesterday can you remember? Are there any periods within that 24 hour period that you can't remember? May be you did something bad then? And what about whilst you were asleep? May be you sleep walked and did something or somebody did something to you whilst you were asleep? That last paragraph above isn't meant to cause worry to anybody, it's meant to provide clarity in knowing that just because you drank alcohol and had a black out, the same can be said for any normal day, OCD doubt can and will cause distress regardless of an alcoholic black out or not, and we must learn how to deal with it. What is THE best treatment for this issue? Take a risk, avoid thinking about it, and just accept that you may have done something terrible, but EQUALLY you may not have done anything. There is NO WAY of knowing 100% if you did or you didn't, and 99% certainty is not acceptable to OCD, it requires 100% (which will NEVER happen with anything in life), therefore stop trying to find out as its a waste of time and will only cause you MORE UNCERTAINTY and NOT the certainty you desire.
  4. Hi mate I created a thread with it all in have you managed to find it?
  5. Firstly, have you ever heard of emotional reasoning? Have a read, however in a nut shell it means that we rely too much on how we feel, and we think that if we feel something, then it must be real: and this is incorrect. Think back through your life for one minute (without it being a compulsion). I bet you can recall at least one event whereby you felt you were 100% certain of something and you were proved wrong? The above example proves perfectly that we can't rely on our feelings as an indicator of whether something is good or bad/right or wrong. There are people who have been in prison who have done such terrible things in life (a hell of a lot worse than what you are worried that you may/may not have done) and yet when they are released they get on with their lives. Why is this?? Because they don't have OCD and they don't ruminate over what they have done. I can also tell you with 100% certainty that you will NEVER know for sure whether this thing actually happened or not, therefore all of the time in your PRECIOUS life is drifting away because you are worried about something that you don't even know happened or not!!??? The below is EXACTLY what you need to do now. 1. Stop 'feeling' and thinking that you must resolve this issue before you can move on (as that will NEVER happen). 2. Take a risk in life, stop ruminating, ignore the temptation to go back and think about things, and get on with your life doing the things that make you happy in life. And lastly, you can't work out any you have a good couple of weeks and then return to the hole again? I can tell you why, it's because your mind has been preoccupied on other things in life, but then you get the temptation to start ruminating again over something you don't know if it happened or not, and then you're back into the OCD loop again.
  6. You don't need to try and lift your mood, it will happen naturally once you spend less time engaging with the thoughts and more time doing the things in life that make you happy. And that last bit may actually be a compulsion in itself, I. E you 'feel' like you need to lift your mood before you continue with your day? You don't need to lift your mood before you continue with your day at all, it works the other way around, you need to continue with your day (regardless of how you feel) and your mood will then change (eventually and if your not engaging with the thoughts) naturally.
  7. What I meant was 'not engaging with the thoughts and not reassuring yourself/or getting it from others' is the only way to deal with OCD, and I stand by that statement. ANY amount of engagement will cause anxiety to build and ANY amount of reassurance will continue the loop. I'm glad to hear the diversion therapy is working for you, however remember we are not to try and avoid our fears, thererore need to be careful about avoidance, as this can also be counterproductive.
  8. You can't control your thoughts but you can control your reactions to them. Imagine having an itch in an inappropriate place (nose/bumb whatever!) when you're speaking to somebody, it wouldn't be very nice itching when they are looking at you, so you decide to postpone it until they are no longer looking at you, but then you realise the itch has gone away all on its own and doesn't need scratching. Bit like OCD, you will be itching like mad (anxiety) and want to scratch it (ruminate/reassure) to relieve the itch (anxiety), but if you don't do anything and just sit with it, the itch (anxiety) will begin to fade without you doing anything. And the good news is the more you practice it the quicker the anxiety goes away. It's the only way to deal with OCD. You will NEVER stop the OCD loop by seeking reassurance, the only thing this will do is guarantee to keep the OCD loop spinning.
  9. Lots of good advice in this thread. However, just by starting the thread shows that you aren't letting it go, you are ruminating constantly about it, and it's this that's keeping the OCD loop alive. EVERY time you get the thought/worry come into your head, you need to ignore it, don't give it any time at all, just let the thought/worry come into your head and let it leave as quickly as it came in. This is an acquired skill, and initially you will feel anxious and it will stick around for a long time (mine lasted approximately 3 to 4 days at a time to begin with), however even though I consider myself as 99% recovered, I still get the intrusive thoughts (like everybody including non OCD. sufferers) and it now only lasts minutes. You also need to act normally, because any different bodily/mental reaction when the thought enters your mind will be a trigger for your mind to know that this thought is bothersome to you and it will then keep repeating.
  10. HI Robin, does the below statement sound relevant to your post above? 'Some may wonder, “Why can't a person with OCD simply tell themselves it’s just a thought and forget about it?” This is because OCD is a "disease of doubt".' Do you see how the above explains your post above? You are doubting if it really is OCD now. OCD was once called 'the doubting disease', because it can literally make you doubt anything and everything, it can even make you doubt if you are even alive! Here is another one for you. Remember that every time you seek reassurance, you are actually strengthening OCD! Any relief that any of the compulsive behaviours provide is only temporary and short lived, they simply reinforce the original obsession and need to carry out the compulsion, creating a gradual worsening cycle of OCD symptoms. I wrote a post (link below) of my years of hell with OCD, and what I did to help myself, as I was in such a dark bad place at the time and was about to lose everything. Have a read through the below, its a long read, but I bet even your OCD won't be able to doubt some of the statements I've listed
  11. I agree and I absolutely understand that as I've been there, and I was in a really bad dark place for many years that I never thought I would be able to get out of. I was about to lose my wife and my children if I didn't do something, and I had already wasted many of the early years with my children due to the time spent doing compulsions, and this is something I will never get back. I managed to suffer the anxiety to the point I felt like my body was about to explode with sweats and heart palpitations, at the time it was hell, but looking back now it was the best thing I've ever done.
  12. I don't know where my previous post went, maybe if was deleted due to the way in which I worded it. Will therefore try a little bit more tactful this time. The only way you will beat OCD (any type) is to not give it ANY TIME OR ATTENTION. As for this scenario you are currently fixated on, as I mentioned previously, unfortunately death is part of life and we need to accept that, which ultimately I believe from your post above this is what your fear due to the possible radiation positioning you are worried about. There are lots of different things that can cause death, and lots of different times throughout your life you could have or could be poisoned, I. E breathing in fumes from the fuel pump when filling your car, as these enter your lungs and will also cause problems over a long term just like radiation, but you don't worry about this as this isn't your current theme. You need to give up the mandate of trying to control things in life, you are not in control, and if radiation doesn't get you then unfortunately something else will. You could spend your whole life worrying about this and it will be something else that will take you. Your wasting this valuable life you have worrying about radiation poisoning, stop the worrying, don't give the OCD the attention, and get on with the valuable life you are fortunate to still have remaining.
  13. Headwreck, those last 3 paragraphs you wrote are full of Compulsions, this is what keeps the OCD cycle going. You do realise what your Compulsions are? You need to stop the Compulsions for the Obsessions to go away. Dont answer the Obsessions, don't give them ANY response. Even something as simple as you saying 'When I get thoughts I have told myself I don't need to think about it anymore because it doesn't matter' that's another Compulsion, you are trying to achieve Reassurance that it doesn't matter, which WILL keep the OCD cycle going.
  14. Obsessions are like quicksand. If you dip your toe into an obsession and then pull it out straight away it won't last and you will be able to get on with your day and forget about it. However, just like quicksand, the longer you stay in the obsession the more stuck you will become.... I had obsessions that lasted several years, and only became free of them when another one took its place. However I have now been free from being stuck in obsessions for around 2 years. The Compulsion you are doing for the existing Obsession needs to be identified and avoided (the Compulsion that is) and then the Anxiety will build rapidly and in the end will eventually subside. However you need to be vigilant going forward and identify Obsessions as soon as they hit you to avoid performing Compulsions and becoming stuck in another Obsession. You can't stop the Obsessions, but they aren't the problem, it's the Compulsions and Reassurance that causes the Obsession to stick.....
  15. Hi MMPP, unfortunately I don't have the links, however Google will call up lots of sites with similar information. One important thing I would stress is, is don't go searching for these sites for reassurance that you have OCD/or that your issues are being caused by OCD, this isn't the reason for this thread or the original reason for me copying the statements I posted within this thread. The reason I copied these statements was for them to remind me how useless and futile my Compulsions were as they don't get you any closer to the truth and only end up causing you more anxiety, therefore why bother wasting the time doing them to get more Anxious.....
  16. Hi MMPP, thank you for your kind words, this is really nice and gives me some confidence in what I was thinking of doing. I was considering setting up a support group to help people whilst they are waiting to get into therapy. Unfortunately the system failed me, I was on the waiting list for nearly a year to see somebody on the NHS, and my behaviour spiralled way out of control due to the Anxiety I was experiencing, and I couldn't handle it, this is why I ended up paying privately in the end. Not everybody are able to pay for private therapy, and therefore I thought it would be good to set up some kind of support group, for people to meet others who have also been in those really dark places, and who are able to offer some support and also help them whilst they are waiting in the system. The problem is, until they have actually be to see a Therapist and have actually been diagnosed with OCD, its a bit of a difficult one.... Regarding the resources I used, I didn't really watch videos as such, I looked at approx. three videos on YouTube, but they didn't really do much for me, it was literature on the Internet that I found, I think I recall looking at some BMJ (British Medical Journal) resources, and the remainder was Medical papers on treatment types, together with blogs written by Psychologists and Psychiatrists.
  17. Hi Darwinia, I've had a read of your thread. One thing that I couldn't help pick up on is you've been seeing the same Therapist for over 20 years? And they aren't an OCD Therapist? Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm just trying to help, however are you sure you're not gaining reassurance from them without them realising? Don't get me wrong, it's good to have a trusted person that you can speak with and confide in, however if they aren't trained in OCD then they may not realise when your confessing and/or they could be giving you reassurance, and this is counterproductive. Ive been there remember, and we can be very clever and word things in such a way that we get the one thing we are craving....and that is reassurance! And just like an addict, we will do ANYTHING we have to do to get that fix! The best thing you can do is copy the above statements I posted onto your phone and read them over and over each time you feel compelled to perform a Compulsion, because you need to realise that any form of reassurance is a no no, its like alcohol is to an alcoholic and like drugs are to a drug addict, it isn't easy giving it up, but if you want to recover then you MUST. Life is short and you need to make the most of it, it's not a rehearsal, no second chances, this is the real deal, therefore take control, kick the OCD into touch, take a risk and get your life back on track. I know it's not easy, but as I said, copy those statements I posted above over to your phone and keep reading them, in the end you will realise just how futile your attempts of trying to gain reassurance and 100% certainty really are ??
  18. You can turn this around trust me, I was suffering for over 40 years and now have my life back. You've got this, I wish you the best of luck ??
  19. I didn't do exposures, they arent real triggers and your brain knows that. Use real life exposure, go about your daily activities as normal, and when you get the intrusive thoughts, deal with them as above ??
  20. Hi MMPP, You don't answer the OCD, this is one thing you are doing wrong. When you get the Intrusive Thought you DON'T do ANYTHING! You continue your day exactly how you were before you experienced the intrusive thought and don't give it ANY attention - NOTHING, if you do then your brain will hold onto the thought and the anxiety will build. If you don't give the thought any attention, then it will fade away and you will forget about it. No matter how many times you perform the Compulsions, and how distressing it is, are you getting any closer to the truth? NO! Remember the statements I posted above? These are the same ones I kept reading everytime I got an intrusive thought to remind me just how useless it would be to perform a compulsion and to try and get reassurance. This is what I concluded each time after reading the above statements. I have 2 x options. Option 1 Perform the Compulsions, but i won't get any closer to the truth because I will still feel uncertainty and will have to keep performing the Compulsions forever, taking up all the time in my life, and I will also feel severe Anxiety for the rest of my life. Option 2 Dont perform the compulsion, but i won't get any closer to the truth because I will still feel uncertainty, and will also feel anxiety (for a little while only with this option and then the Anxiety will disappear forever!), but I will also have a lot more time in my life to do what I want to do in life (we only have one life and need to make the most of it), and eventually the Anxiety will fade away and I will get my life back without feeling any anxiety or doing any compulsions. With BOTH of the above options I will never know the truth, however which option do you think is the better one?
  21. Thank you Nellie and good luck, it's the Reassurance that causes the issues ??
  22. MMPP, that's teh big problem for EVERYBODY with OCD not just you ? I have said it like that for a reason, because by thinking you are the only person who has this issue, is actually giving the OCD more strength by making you think that your OCD can't be cured because you have some special type, you see what I mean? We don't get to know what's real and what's not, we need to accept that we won't know and live with the uncertainty, and this is what brings on the Anxiety that we then try to do a Compulsion to get the Reassurance to relieve the Anxiety. Stop the Reasurance and learn to live with the Uncertainty and I can guarantee your life will improve significantly. You may feel that you can't live with uncertainty about this particular things but I can assure you ? that you can. It will stop bothering you once you stop giving it attention and you will eventually forget about it ?
  23. Hi Hedgehog, even though you have contamination OCD, you will still have the Intrusive Thoughts and the Anxiety and feel compelled to do a compulsion of some type to get the Reassurance to relieve the Anxiety. You need to identify what you are doing to relieve the Anxiety (the Compulsion) and not do that, but at the very least even if you can't stop the Compulsion (sometimes it's automatic and performed very quickly) then you need to stop the Compulsion as soon as you realise you are doing it to stop yourself getting the reassurance. I'm my opinion it's not the Compulsion that's the problem its getting the Reassurance that's the issue. For example, doing Compulsions aren't pleasurable, they are very time consuming and actually take longer and longer the more you do them and actually increase the anxiety you feel, however we do the Compulsions purely to get the Reassurance, therefore this is why I feel its the Reassurance that's the issue, and by stopping the Reassurance has made my life pleasurable and enjoyable again. Good luck ???
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