ocdjonesy

No-one said ‘just stop the compulsions’. Neither did they say doing so was easy. It’s a support forum for people with mental health issues. Wires are going to get crossed. Words are going to get put in people’s mouths. There are times when people will be on edge and lose patience with each other. But no-one says ‘just stop the compulsions’ and I find it disingenuous to claim that’s the case. I’m taking a break from these forums. This has got my blood absolutely boiling so it’s clearly best to walk away and find something else to put my energy into - as per my own advice.

Deleted. Good luck with your phone issues.

It’s not ‘easy’, no. But it is the way to break free of the cycle you keep talking about. The things you are doing are a choice. Yes a choice born of a very strong impulse to do them, but s choice none the less. OCD doesn’t make you *do* anything. You’re the one who feels the urge yo do a thing then acts on it. If you want to stop that you have to not do the thing. Of course you also have to address the thinking behind the impulse that your worth as a human being is linked to your phone charging schedule but if you stop spending hours a day asking people on forums about your phone you’ll have a lot of time to do that.

It’s a paving slab. What do you want me to say? Generally speaking I use situations like this to clue myself into the fact I have become obsessed with something and should make an effort to let it go. If I’m playing jenga with paving slabs, gilling my camera roll with photos if said paving slab and then posting them online ***I have a problem and i need to stop*** OCD is a choice. Stop making it.

… Ah yes, because happiness in life is intrinsically tied to the functioning of your electrical devices. Seriously? Do you hear yourself right now? Your life isn’t going to stop going round in circles unless you stop making circular choices.

No. It doesn’t. It looks like you have OCD. You can reset your phone all you like but each time you do it you’re setting yourself back to square one. Stop focusing on the phone and focus on your fear of being judged. OCD is about avoiding discomfort we feel will last forever and that we wont be able to tolerate. You break free from it by inviting the things you are trying to avoid in. So leave your phone alone. Welcome in the judgement. Tolerate it. You’ll spend your whole life trying to avoid it if you don’t.

Oh hey, I totally get where you’re coming from. I get similar fixations on death - mine is just believing death is like and event horizon where your last moments are stored and preserved forever so if you die sad or in agony that’s how you are forever. Which is a bit bleak and depressing but fine if I don’t devote a bunch of time to thinking about it. It’s normal to be worried about death and dying. Totally natural. It’s just with OCD we tend to turn that worry into non-productive actions rather than just feeling that and anxiety and letting is pass.

No, you shouldn’t waste time on wondering what happens when you die. It’s going to happen you regardless. So essentially spending time worrying about it pointless. Even if devils are going to spend eternity sticking pitchforks up your bum for you past misdeeds spending time on it isn’t going to change that. I suppose that’s a bit if a calvinist/pragmatist answer but it’s better than focusing on a mechanism that keeps you locked into perfectionist habits. You’re on the right track, you know why you do it. So you also know all you have to do is stop doing it. Easier said than done but a more useful way to spend your time than worrying about what dead people think about you.

I mean what you’re doing right now is compulsive behaviour brought on by your fears about this relationship and not rational. If you want that to stop you will have to make an effort to stop it by confronting what is actually going on and dealing with that rather than continuing to fuel your obsession Are you currently receiving any treatment for your ocd?

Malina has put this better than I can. I think this relationship scares you and this is a result. You need to put this obsession down and walk away from it before comes between you and you partner. Stop sniffing your girlfriend. Stop googling. Accept how you feel without giving into OCD. Do something else and move on.

I made a reply to you about this topic in the chat room thread. Probably should have made it in here instead but I’m half asleep. If you go read it we can pretend I posted in here .

The issue is that the manner in which it’s brought up often upsets people and I’m just personally a bit sick of it. Forums are for discussion yes but it’s also a forum full of vulnerable people at an extremely low and difficult time in their lives and having recently seen someone like that looking for help be so throughly put off by the manner in question I felt compelled to say something about it. It was just a situation that annoyed me and I felt was mishandled. I guess I’m still sore about it. I probably shouldn’t have said anything tbh but I’m not the first person to point out what I did or react to it and I sincerely doubt I will be the last. By all means though - discuss away. Edit : thinking about it this topic obviously just annoys me outside of the Handy scenario. I could go on to explain why but a) I can’t be bothered getting annoyed on such a nice day and b) I’m off out for a walk. Please feel free to also ignore my input as it clearly came from a place of irritation. Have a nice saturday!

Can we please all just ignore Handy when they say this stuff? Telling people that medication is a compulsion is a compulsion for them and a great example of rigid thinking in OCD. They say it repeatedly and we end up in this discussion every time. So for future reference here is a list of their greatest hits you can feel free to completely gloss over: * medication is a compulsion * get a blood panel * you drink coffee or do other ‘mental stimulants’ if you type full sentences (this one literally chased off a woman who was here seeking help for her very ill daughter and I am sick of seeing it) Medication and whether to take it is a personal choice. So is ignoring Handy when they type out their compulsive black and white thinking ad nauseum.

It’s literally just practice. It’s not like you’re never going to be tempted to do a compulsion again - you just keep practicing not reacting until it’s automatic.

Living in the UK, generally. Where do you get yours? The police very much care about images of anyone under the age of consent because it's the law. Honestly you don't half talk some utter pish sometimes Handy.

Good because you need to. We all get the waking in fright at 1am thing dude. All of us. And eventually we all have to learn to take a breath and ride it out instead of getting up to do whatever compulsion we feel we need to do. Because you know it makes it worse. That’s why no-one will engage with your reassurance seeking on here anymore. We can all see what it does even if you can’t. We’re just waiting on you to catch up. So come on. Highlighter out. Put in some work on insight like Angst suggested. What else are you gonna do with your evening? More compulsions?

Then you need to work on your insight. What else do you think saying the same stuff over and over again is other than a compulsion? You compulsively tell yourself a story about what you did or didn’t do and how what you did ‘made it worse’ and you don’t see how you can get over and how it ‘just catches you and grips you and you can’t get out’. Over and over again. But if you stopped doing those things and focused on something else you would get over it because you’d be too busy getting on with you life to devote this much time to whatever you’re worrying makes you a bad person this month. Do you not get sick of this bull****? I’m not being funny asking that. I’m genuinely curious because for me hearing myself say or think repetitive nonsense annoys me so much it gives me the push I need to stop doing it. So it actually literally amazes me to see someone repeating the same thing over and over and saying ‘I don’t notice it’. How do you not notice it? Go back and look at your posts in this thread. It is right there. Go and look at your old threads. It’s there too. Actually take half an hour and go over your post history with a critical eye. Look for repetitive ideas and phrases. Hell print it out and get a highlighter out. Highlight the repetitive stuff. It is right there staring you in the face.

What was the point in getting the other threads deleted if you're just going to come back to this thread and start doing the same thing over and over again. It's all compulsions. You know this.

Best thing I’ve done for OCD is stopped ‘keeping my thoughts at bay’. Learning to just have thoughts without getting wound up about them has made the biggest difference to my life. Which, it takes a while but if you’re like me you’ll have a sort of automatic inbuilt reaction to anything you think you shouldn’t be thinking or feeling and learning to recognise that when it happens is a great place to start.

I didn’t exactly mean talk to your gp about the OCD. I meant talk to your go about your health concerns. If you have genuine symptoms you should have them checked out. Not doing that is effectively avoidance and is just going to compound things in the long run. You can mention your health anxiety as a contributing factor so that your gp is aware of the situation. That’s what I always do. Frankly the best way to deal with health OCD is directly. It may mean you make more doctors appointments than you’re happy with but that’s fine. That’s what people do when they’re unwell. Anxiety around your health is perfectly normal. Where the issue falls with OCD is in doing OCD to deal with that anxiety rather meeting it head on and doing something about it. If you’re worried about medical problems see a doctor rather than sitting up all night worrying about it.

For sure no-one’s perfect. I fall into this sort of trap all the time without thinking about it. Slipping up is fine. It’s going to happen. What matters is knowing what to do when it happens to put a stop to it. Hope you’re feeling better soon btw. Pneumonia must suck.

Yea, that’s because he reassured you. I think it would probably help you both deal with your OCD if your partner learned more about it. I’m sure he has the best intentions but him offering up his phone every time this happens is feeding into the problem. So either he reads a book and learns about OCD or you take the leap and say ‘No, that’s ok I don’t need to see your phone - let’s talk about something else’. Or both. TBH I’d do both.

You can pick up kintsugi kits pretty easily and I think cheaply these days? I have two people have gifted me stuck in cupboards somewhere

Yeah, exactly that. You’re feeling sick and run down so triggers will more than likely hit you a lot harder than they would normally. It’s all just OCD. Just stay calm and concentrate on getting better. Your health is more important that whatever OCD is trying to tell you is a priority.

If it were me and I wanted support from my partner in a similar situation I would say “I’m really struggling with intrusive thoughts at the moment and it’s making me feel a bit off” and that is all I would say. I handle situations like you’re describing like I do because I realise the intrusive thoughts are OCD and that bringing it up directly would be a) hurtful to him and unfair and b) a form of reassurance seeking. Therefore discussing the intrusive thought directly would only make the situation worse as it would reinforce the OCD. I’m really sorry you’re ill at the moment. It’s miserable and it’s more than likely driving your OCD. Being sick is quite a common trigger. So knowing that you can let the thoughts go as OCD driven by illness and hopefully put it behind you. You’ll feel better soon and the spike should die down so don’t worry ok?