howard

And Beardsley was inspired by the pre-Raphaelites and possibly b&w photography, all of them illustrating stories and myths with subtle symbolism. Edward Burne-Jones Design, made by William Morris & Co.

If you've had it that long and no pain then maybe you just chipped it. Usually when a dentist makes some change in our mouths, or we accidently do, we get used to the change in a few days and aren't bothered by it anymore. But of course the more you think about it, the more you reinforce those neural pathways.........so hard as it is, stop thinking about it; distraction or absorbtion in something else.

I've heard teeth crack before(thanks healthfood shop nuts with rock in it) and usually you can feel it or a shift in alignment or you feel some sensitivity. It's also very hard to not start touching it with your tongue and therefore thinking about it. But if you have cracked your tooth, don't try to tell your mind to accept it, go to a dentist and get it checked.............or you may loose the tooth.

Just be aware of when you are spinning what the poster says. Posters says 'I’m again fixated on this damn small crack in the back of the tooth'; you see that as 'Could there be a crack in a tooth?' which seems odd. Poster says 'I’ve felt the tooth edge when I bit down with that out of place and misaligned slightly uncomfortable feeling'; you see that as 'Being fixated on it 24/7 is not normal'. Both times you've spun what the poster said to suit your diagnosis. But if you think it's purely ocd then address the poster, they asked for your help specifically.

It sounds like you do want to move and hopefully you can find somewhere with the right 'price and decor and location'. Maybe your ocd is focussing in on these flaws you see in your current property and around it and that also adds to why you want to move, as well as wanting somewhere 'newer' and 'larger' with less flaws. You do seem to be vacillating between what you see as your current problems and future possibilities. Maybe time to sit down with your wife and make a decision.

What I'm getting at is; this is all in your mind so you shouldn't touch your slab or anything else and as you've found out it doesn't really help and in your case compounds the list of things adding to your anxiety. I mean I'm sure you can get tips on improving your garden but that isn't the issue here. Maybe try to be more flexible about how you see things.

Okay good, so you don't care if other people see damaged items in or around your house as you don't think that refects on you. So why do you think that the scratches on this particular slab bother you so much? Would you say you were a perfectionist by nature or is it just Perfectionism ocd. 'Fussy' is similar to perfectionism. What would have happened if you had turned the slab upside down?(so you knew the scratches were there, but couldn't see them).

I think if you have a high natural anxiety base line then once something takes that anxiety level higher it can spiral out of control; the anxiety and overthinking fuel each other. What does, just focussing on one obsession, this 'faulty' slab mean to you? Why do you think you focus on it and it bothers you so much? You do seem to be a perfectionist(which isn't a problem if channeled right). Do you think that the things you obsess about say something about you? Is a damaged slab somehow a reflection on you, in your mind? (I've heard of artists photographing the same object everyday in different light and seasons and showing the whole collection together. Art and inventions are a good place to channel perfectionism).

This doesn't sound like an ocd problem. I think if we have a crack in our teeth then we would all be well aware of it whether we had ocd or not. I know when I crack a tooth I can't help running my tongue over it. And the first thing the dentist asks is 'when did this happen'. So this does sound like a dental problem and as a crack indicates you may have cracked through the outer enamel it's best to see a dentist as soon as possible.

^Good one @daja. I think we have covered a lot of different forms of art but not 'calligraphic' or poster art. I also have been thinking about fashion as personal artistic expression. I'll have to find a good example. Aubrey Beardsely had a unique style and vision>

I'm not sure it's helpful to pretend to be a 'normal' person on the outside when you feel troubled inside. You should try to just be yourself, just respecting that friends and family may not want to, or need to hear all the details, but if they know about your ocd and feelings of loneliness then they can offer you support.

You're alright @SeaBreeze, you aren't annoying at all. It's just you have a very specific form of ocd which probably is part Perfectionism. Also when you're effectively trapped in these repetitive thinking cycles they are hard to break out of. People may indicate the best way forward (incl: me) but that isn't always easy but it is something to aim for. It would probably help if you try to be aware of what you are doing, like seeking reassurance online, although in reality does that reassurance help with your internal mental processes? It can be helpful to talk about a theme I believe, just as a way of the poster getting a better insight by getting thoughts from others, or looking at different way of thinking, a different perspective.

When I said don't touch your tech...I mean you know all this is in your mind> so don't do any resets, don't set battery levels, etc. Tech is an important part of our lives, but it's just a tool and a resource, it doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to work. Work on this ocd obsession in your mind.

It sounds like your mother is still carrying on her parenting techniques but with your children/adults. So you could just draw a line and say to yourself, 'I'll look after my children the way I want to', and disregard your mother or tell her an acceptable lie, 'my eldest is fine now, thanks for your concern'.

It sounds like you've got it right in the last sentence. Thing is none of us are 'perfect' and living is partly about making mistakes, getting things wrong, adapting and learning, moving on and letting go. Death to me is the final 'letting go'.

Yes I often see that artists I admire were living in England during my lifetime and wish I'd had a chance to talk to them. It is one of those Hayward gallery travelling exhibitions. As it was spontaneous I had no idea what the exhibiton was going to be and it was a mixture of amateur and more professional artists and I think that was the point. Also they had dimmed all the lights and in the center of the spaces were placed large cushions and mats to lounge on while viewing. Giving birth is an interesting topic; we all experience it in different ways and it is how we all came to be, but isn't often talked about except when couples are expecting and for a time afterwards. There was one sound piece, a baby gurgling and laughing. I remember when my son was being born, at one point hearing all the mothers screaming and cursing loudly, wishing I had my audio recorder(I have recorded at a swimming pool and a train station before). Hopefully there will be a virtual tour of that exhibition you want to see, maybe on the Tate website. Paula Rego in her studio(which gives some insights into her process)>

Stop looking for signs. Insecurity (and jealosy) can drive you crazy. I went for a haircut the other day. I didn't notice the barbers strong cologne in the shop but when I got home after washing my hair I caught a wiff of it. I am not having an affair with my barber.

Apologies I read your OP a while ago, but just going on your recent post. I'd say the same to someone who has ocd as someone who doesn't> stop looking for signs of infidelity, stop checking and monitoring your partner and enjoy every moment of the good times. The thing is signs may or may not exist, or can be interpreted in different ways; so unless something definite, or concrete occurs.....do nothing but enjoy your time together. It's not just people with ocd that look for signs and check on their partners, but people with ocd are more likely to overthink it all and torment themselves. And the irony is the more you do what you are doing and as soon as you make any unfounded 'insinuations' the more likely your partner will look elsewhere because of your insecurity. And obviously stop Googling!

Made a random trip to the Arnolfini today(I'm trying to be more random and spontaneous). The exhibition 'Acts of Creation; On Art and Motherhood', which featured a range of artists and techniques. It's an association that has been made before, creating life and creating art. I thought the Paula Rego drawings were special>

@Robin43 it does sound like you go for this typical ocd trait of all or nothing; I'm either going to be demented or completely well. I suppose it's anxiety and fear that lead to that extreme thinking. But there is much nuance between the two. I have been looking into head impacts and the impacts do need to be severe enough to bounce our brains off the inside of our skulls. It seems that some can take many impacts and it doesn't affect them. It may be down to individual physiology or other factors. It's also good to see that in sports young players are being taught to tackle without head contact.(I was looking at Australian football). . So if you haven't got any of those early symptoms of cognitive decline(as stated on the NHS webpage) I wouldn't worry and just wait for the screening to be offered. I had a sort of glimpse last week. I'd been offered screening for a lung check. I then had a lung infection and couldn't breathe and started to fear the worst, but I didn't want to go for the test and have the worst confirmed. Actually even if you don't get checked it's worth adopting a lifestyle that mitigates against any decline; healthy eating, exercise, lower stress and in the case of dementia keeping learning and creating new neural pathways and structures.

Have you monitored the CO2 with the windows open and you can smell the smoke as that would give you an indication whether or not that smoke(and not just a hint of smell) is entering your property. I have to shut my windows on one side sometimes when it's barbeque season as I don't like the smell and as it's mid summer I just open windows on other side. One of the symptoms of anxiety is shallow breathing so that might be what you are experiencing.

I don't think about it normally. I am aware of where different parts are and they are either sealed behind emulsion (is your ceiling painted), or sealed in cupboards that I don't use or sealed in glue. I don't want them to scrape and crack the glue, I'm just going to leave it. So it's good if you know it's sealed away physically as I feel safe and I sort of then can seal it off in my mind. Again that could be a different perspective, try to compartmentalise it away from your normal processes. I think that lowering your anxiety levels is possible but it's slow to achieve at first. Most properties built before 1999 will contain it, it's just a matter of how to manage it. Take control over your fears and don't let them.....etc.

Yes I was looking at Aboriginal art and had read The Songlines as a way in, I just used western symbols; crystaline structure at bottom with labrinyth at top(acrylic on black paper). I think you should believe in yourself. I thought your picture was just an interesting abstract. Yes I've got loads of old kitchen utensils like those roller cutter tools which are fun on clay. Basting brushes for painting. I know their paintings were ways of passing on stories and myths as well as maps of resources but going by this it was also a community experience.

Here's one of my old obsessive dot paintings done with a piece of dowel>

I know I've got so many devices now that need charging between 30-80% that I have to keep track of all the time. But usually on a smartphone you can set it to the 80% top limit. But it does seem that all these anxieties are all in your mind(like much ocd) and that's where you should try to manage them. Don't touch any tech physically as I'm sure that would be classed as a compulsion. Have a great holiday from your anxiety and thoughts