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LauraOCDUK

Support Volunteer
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Everything posted by LauraOCDUK

  1. March online support groups: Family and friends who support a loved one that has OCD - Wednesday 20th March 7pm. Register here: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZYtcu-vrDgiGtEzBuXoNBjGaWGUHM_RUCON Young people age 12-17 - Wednesday 27th March 6pm Complete parent/guardian consent form and register here: https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/online/consent-form/
  2. The next support group for young people age 12-17 with OCD is Wednesday 28th February at 6pm, complete the consent form and register here: https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/online/consent-form/
  3. Hi Miranda, I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I'm sure other users who are parents will be able to offer advice from their perspectives, but I just wanted to highlight a couple of video resources we have from Dr Fiona Challacombe that will hopefully be informative: Perinatal OCD https://www.ocduk.org/conference/2021-virtual/breakout/working-with-perinatal-ocd-in-a-pandemic/ (from 2020) OCD and parenting https://www.ocduk.org/conference/2022-virtual/breakout-room/ocd-parenting/ (from 2022)
  4. Upcoming group dates: Support group for family and friends who support a loved one with OCD: Wednesday 21st February at 7pm, register here: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZIldeuvqzguGdZmGSL4cfP_lPVwTh5V3PqA Support group for young people age 12-17 with OCD: Wednesday 24th January at 6pm, complete the consent form and register here: https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/online/consent-form/ If your loved one is over 18, they are welcome to attend our weekly open support groups for adults (18+) with OCD which run most Tuesday evenings (7pm) and Thursday mornings (10:15am). The groups are primarily attended by people with OCD, but family members and friends are welcome to attend too. All the upcoming dates and registration links are here: www.ocduk.org/support-groups/online
  5. Hi everyone! We are having a festive social event for the support group community on Thursday 14th December at 10:15am - there will be a quiz and the opportunity to chat about non-OCD topics in a relaxed environment. As always there is no pressure to be on camera or to speak if you don't want to, and the chat box will be open. It's totally ok to drop in for part of the session if you can't stay for the duration and everyone is welcome! Registration is on the website or here: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZ0sc-2grj4jEtPL63-Wp8kfeiXIMJ_LDgRW Our support group schedule for this month is: Open groups: Tuesday 5th December (7pm) Thursday 7th December (10:15am) Tuesday 12th December (7pm) Tuesday 19th December (7pm) Thursday 21st December (10:15am) Thursday 28th December (10:15am) Themed groups: Wednesday 13th December - 50+ group (6pm) Wednesday 20th December - Young people age 12-17 group (6pm) Registration is here as normal: www.ocduk.org/online - if you have any problems registering please get in touch at groups@ocduk.org
  6. The next support group for family and friends who support a loved one with OCD is Wednesday 3rd January at 7pm: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZIvdu2vrjMuHtW9kaP16mFi2OkQEncWXxZu#/registration
  7. The next support group for young people age 12-17 is Wednesday 20th December at 6pm: https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/online/consent-form/ (please complete the consent form which upon completion generates the Zoom registration details)
  8. Hi @OB1! I'm sorry that you've had trouble registering. That error message is usually due to a Zoom security settings update which means that people need to be logged in to a (free) registered Zoom account to attend the groups (Zoom recognises whether there is an account associated with the email address people enter when registering). You can register for a free Zoom account with your email address here: https://zoom.us/signup#/signup Once you've signed up Zoom should let you register but please let me know if you're still facing any problems!
  9. Hi @Em24! There are indeed. All upcoming dates are listed at: https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/online/ - there are usually groups on Tuesday evenings at 7pm and Thursday mornings at 10:15am. You register for each date you would like to attend separately so you can pick the ones that are convenient for you. The groups are very popular so you may find a message saying 'registration closed' when you click on a date - this means the group is currently at capacity, but we often have last minute cancellations so if you are keen to attend it's worth checking back on the day the group is due to run (even in the couple of hours before!) - registration automatically reopens when people cancel. If you have any problems please email groups@ocduk.org and we can advise
  10. Our November groups have now been scheduled and registration is now open: - Support group for family members and friends who support a loved one with OCD: Thursday 23rd November at 7pm: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZApdeuhqDojHtKNRshFVBxlGdyTPvNMdH-a - Young people age 12-17 support group: Wednesday 29th November at 6pm: https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/online/consent-form/ (please complete the consent form which upon completion generates the Zoom registration details)
  11. We also have an upcoming support group for family members and friends who support a loved one with OCD next Tuesday 24th October at 7pm, you can register here: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZIudeCrqTwuG9xifwK3U9JAK6AZFumbHBGl
  12. We are pleased to announce that our support groups for young people age 12-17 with OCD will now be running each month! The groups will be hosted by Mia, who was part of our young ambassadors project and has now joined the OCD-UK team to run the young people’s support groups and Laura, our Online Support Group Lead. The next young people's group is taking place next Wednesday 25th October at 6pm, you can sign up here: https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/online/consent-form/ . A consent form will need to be filled in by parents for their child to attend. Once complete it will generate the link so you can register for the group on Zoom. It is important to complete both the consent form and then the Zoom registration to attend. There is no pressure for attendees to be on camera or speak verbally if they would prefer to just listen in, and there will be a chat box so attendees can talk and ask questions in there too. Please email us at groups@ocduk.org if you have any questions!
  13. Hi JezzP, welcome! I'm so sorry to hear this has been your experience. CBT (which incorporates ERP) should be offered by the NHS for OCD, and this should be offered by primary care services in the first instance. There's more information about NHS treatment here: https://www.ocduk.org/overcoming-ocd/accessing-ocd-treatment/accessing-ocd-treatment-through-the-nhs/ If you want to get in touch with us to talk about how to access CBT (which incorporates ERP) through the NHS in your area pop us an email at support@ocduk.org
  14. We have two online support groups coming up this month that may be of interest to loved ones: - Our monthly support group for family and friends supporting a loved one who has OCD is taking place Tuesday 15th August at 7pm, registration is on the website or here . - We also have a support group for young people age 12-17 with OCD on Monday 14th August at 2pm. To register, please complete the parental consent form on the website or here - completion of the consent form then generates the link to register for the group on Zoom Please let us know at groups@ocduk.org if you have any questions
  15. July's monthly support group for family and friends supporting a loved one with OCD will be taking place on Wednesday 12th July at 7pm, you can register here or on the website
  16. Here is the schedule for July's online support groups. They are all listed on the website which is where you can sign up to groups that have opened for registration (usually approximately one week beforehand, with the exception of the themed groups that are already open for registration) : https://www.ocduk.org/support-groups/online/ Open groups (primarily attended by people with OCD, but family members/friends welcome too) Tuesday 4th July 7pm (Today! Currently at capacity although we may have last minute cancellations) Thursday 6th July 10:15am (currently at capacity although we may have last minute cancellations) Tuesday 11th July 7pm Tuesday 18th July 7pm Thursday 20th July 10:15am Tuesday 25th July 7pm Thursday 27th July 10:15am Themed groups Family and friends - Wednesday 12th June 7pm Over 50's - Wednesday 19th June 6pm If you have any questions please feel free to ask here or at groups@ocduk.org , and if anyone needs support between groups please email us at support@ocduk.org
  17. Hi Phillev, it doesn't sound loopy to me at all!! The most distressing and disabling part of OCD for me used to be intrusive thoughts about my loved ones being harmed (super graphic mental images of car accidents and other accidents causing terrible injuries or death) which I felt compelled to 'cancel out' by repeating a phrase in my mind a set amoutn of times whilst touching my face, because OCD said if I didn't, the thing could happen and it would be my fault for having the thought: classic magical thinking stuff. I knew it was illogical, particularly when I got trapped in a loop of doing the compulsion because people interrupted me or I had another intrusive thought whilst saying the phrase, but OCD kept me trapped by asking me if it was worth the risk of not doing the compulsion and risking my loved ones lives. I'm aware that is a little different to what you described, but I hope the following might be helpful about how I challenged it (with the disclaimer that I'm not a medical professional, I can't say if this is the best way to tackle it or whether my therapist's approach was the 'gold standard' - just that it helped me!) - Initially I was very scared to challenge this (it was right at the top of my hierarchy so I had been having CBT for a while and had done lots of other ERP exercises on other themes beforehand) so my therapist started gently. I had homework to do the following every day, scoring my anxiety so I could see over time that it didn't peak as highly and came down more quickly. - At each step, I wrote down the feared situation repeatedly (like writing lines at school) and repeated it out loud for a timed amount of time (I can't remember how long as it was several years ago, sorry!) so there was no space to try to neutralise the thought or tell myself I didn't mean it, I was actively encouraging the feared thing to happen: Therapist winning the lottery, really trying to make something good happen because even minor harm felt too difficult initially Therapist breaking her leg Therapist being in a car accident that killed her (we chose that specifically because it was a frequent theme of the intrusive thoughts) Someone I didn't know particularly well being in a car accident that killed them Someone I love (picking specific loved ones) being in a car accident that killed them ie: 'PARTNER'S NAME will be in a car accident that kills her' Number 5 plus recording myself saying out loud that specific named loved ones would be in a car accident that killed them and listening to it whilst doing chores throughout the day It genuinely got to the point where the thoughts no longer had the impact they once did, and because I wasn't attaching the same significance to them, the thoughts became much less frequent - it went from being bombarded all day to going days at a time without them. I try to keep on top of it as well by saying the phrases aloud (I sometimes talk about it in the support groups for example) and actively challenging magical thinking when I spot it (no more saluting magpies for me!) It sounds like for you the idea of a 'solemn promise' feels significant, so perhaps starting a bit smaller first and working up to incorporating that phrase into the exercises you do will hopefully help you move forward
  18. sillykitten I empathise - Covid has been a HUGE theme of my OCD and I had a big relapse after being in recovery for a few years. My wife is extremely clinically vulnerable so was advised to shield when Covid first hit and we followed all the guidance this entailed, not seeing loved ones for over a year, wearing masks, social distancing, only socialising outside etc. OCD latched onto Covid for me really hard because I'd struggled with contamination themes previously (I really struggled when there were fears about Ebola spread for example) - Covid felt like validation of my worst nightmares and I was horrified that other people weren't taking it as seriously. I also felt hugely responsible for protecting my wife because she is extremely clinically vulnerable and so the combination of these factors meant that we were not leaving the house at all except for medical appointments and walking the dog at quiet times of day. I ended up 'quarantining' all incoming post and groceries for five days and then sanitising them before I would handle them with gloves (even our Christmas presents in 2020, which we opened with gloves on and then put them back into quarantine). When we did start to socialise with people outside, I made sure we sat excessively far apart - literally shouting across the garden - and would antibac after handling anything they'd touched. At first, those measures felt reasonable - there was an objectively higher risk to my wife than other people and I knew from a family member who worked on a Covid ward how grave the consequences could be if she caught it. We got vaccinated, and watched as other people around us started to relax towards the 'new normal' everyone kept talking about, but I felt the risk of returning to any other activities was just too high to contemplate. It really affected both our mental health as we were barely leaving the house and everything felt so ruled by Covid. Eventually I realised that OCD was making it very difficult to figure out what was excessive and I had more CBT to help me to start taking steps forward but it was still a struggle, especially with the vague messaging for extremely clinically vulnerable people the government began to offer once shielding ended (too much uncertainty for OCD's liking!) Ironically, it was actually getting Covid that helped me to take the biggest steps forward (not recommending this obviously!). My wife caught it from a colleague once she was required to return to the workplace, despite her still wearing a mask all the time (at my insistence), and I caught it from her. It was rough, she was very unwell for a short time with it, but is now ok (who knows if it was the vaccines, antiviral medication, a milder strain or if it always would have been the case) and so am I. After that, we abandoned most of the precautions I'd insisted we take - both because we'd caught it despite taking them and because we decided that it wasn't worth having poor quality of life any longer - we have returned to seeing loved ones, going out (moving up gradually to bigger events) and doing everything we did before - I only wear a mask at medical appointments, on public transport and in shops because it isn't inconvenient to me, but I reason there's no point wearing one somewhere like a concert and it is impossible at a restaurant, and on the occasions I've forgotten one I've been anxious but gone without one (and it is clearly OCD logic telling me I need to wear one on the bus when I've gone to a concert and football match without one!) I would only test now if either of us had obvious symptoms because my wife has been advised to get the antivirals as soon as possible if she tests positive. I reason that there might be genuine risk in some of the activities we are doing, but for me the trade off was between trying to do everything I could to stay 'safe' but being trapped inside the house forever, or taking the 'risks' and getting to have good quality of life. I hope that helps a bit!
  19. Also re: official diagnosis - It is very common for adults in the UK to not receive an official diagnosis. You don't need an official diagnosis to have treatment for OCD and should be offered the recommended treatment (CBT which incorporates ERP) if you explain the difficulties you are struggling with.
  20. Hi Imogen Rose - I'm really glad to hear that you have treatment starting soon. If you are wondering what to expect, the book Break Free From OCD by Dr Fiona Challacombe, Dr Victoria Bream Oldfield and Professor Paul Salkovskis describes what CBT for OCD should look like, so that might be a helpful read. It's available on our website at the link northpaul posted. As northpaul said, you might find that some of the resources and exercises in treatment are more helpful than others - it is ok to say to your therapist if you feel like something isn't working or if the pace doesn't feel right. It's worth giving the exercises a go unless they feel very uncomfortable - I know I've been sceptical a few times in the past and actually found something really helpful once I've tried it! But your therapist shouldn't push you to do things you aren't ready for. Therapy should be collaborative so if something isn't working for you your therapist should listen and be able to find a different strategy to help you move forward. People's experiences with talking therapies do vary and there can be all sorts of reasons that someone might not make progress as hoped (eg: not being ready to challenge OCD, other personal events in their life making it hard to engage with treatment, personality clash with the therapist, not enough consistency with therapy sessions etc). Some of the time it is that the therapist does not know enough about OCD, or the service does not offer enough therapy sessions to help the person to make progress with their OCD. In any of these cases, it is worth trying again! If you (or anyone reading this!) are facing barriers accessing good quality treatment in the UK, we can advise on potential next steps if you email us at support@ocduk.org . As I've said elsewhere on the forum, my own experiences with talking therapy for OCD have been positive overall (I've also had talking therapies for other mental health difficulties): I had one really rubbish therapist who wasn't particularly professional and kept saying things that just fed my OCD, a couple of therapists who were well intentioned and kind and helped me to make some good progress with some themes and accepting uncertainty but didn't enable me to understand all the compulsions I was doing and all the different themes I was experiencing. And I am grateful I also had two therapists who were excellent: one in a primary care service who helped me to make significant progress with a lot of themes, including exposure work that enabled me to successfully tackle the most distressing and time consuming theme and compulsions I had at the time, and another in secondary care who helped me generalise that learning by figuring out the unhelpful core beliefs that were holding me back and allowing OCD to keep popping up in different places. Bad therapy can be distressing and detrimental to people, and I don't want to discount the experiences of people who have been in that position, but I've been fortunate that each time I've approached talking therapies I've learned something that has helped me to take steps forward and regain time and energy from OCD, so even if this first batch of treatment doesn't enable you to tackle everything, I hope it will give you the opportunity to start getting your quality of life back.
  21. Great to hear that treatment is starting for you soon OCD_Lord . I'd definitely recommend learning as much as you can about OCD to help normalise intrusive thoughts and realise that the thoughts are not the problem, almost everyone gets them, but the way we respond to them is different to people who don't have OCD and our response is what we can change. Once we stop reacting to the thoughts and doing compulsions to (temporarily!) alleviate the anxiety the thoughts cause, they stop being as distressing and as frequent, and bit by bit we get our quality of life back. That knowledge can help us to engage with treatment and can allow us to be kinder to ourselves because we're not assuming terrible things about ourselves because of the thoughts we have. This presentation by Professor Adam Radomsky is a great place to start: https://www.ocduk.org/conference/2021-virtual/main/its-not-the-thought-that-counts/
  22. Hi OCDenjoyer123, I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling to let go of OCD. The above advice from determination987 is great, I definitely had a similar journey in terms of realising that OCD was keeping me trapped rather than helping me through life. There is a fantastic presentation from Professor Paul Salkovskis you might find helpful called 'CBT is not a dangerous pursuit: Understanding that “Better Safe than Sorry” is a trap set by OCD' - you can watch it here: https://www.ocduk.org/conference/2022-virtual/main-conference-room/cbt-is-not-a-dangerous-pursuit/
  23. Hi Bexi, I'm sorry to hear how hard things were - have they got any easier since you posted? Are you getting any treatment at the moment?
  24. Hi Summer, I'm sorry to hear that therapy isn't feeling helpful for you at the moment. I remember last time you put up a thread about this ( https://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?/topic/94933-how-do-i-get-a-referral-to-secondary-care-therapy/ ) you mentioned that you had struggled to engage with treatment previously due to lots of other things going on and other difficulties so had not completed a programme of CBT with ERP through your primary care/NHS Talking Therapies (formerly known as IAPT) service as your sessions had focused on other things. That may be why your current therapist is asking you to make the case for referral onwards at this point. Normally in England people are only referred (or 'stepped up') to secondary care when they have already completed CBT with ERP through their primary care/NHS Talking Therapies service (or if that service identifies they cannot meet a person's need for a specific reason eg: other co-morbid conditions). What I'd recommend is the following: If you do not feel your sessions are currently focusing on treating your OCD, ask when you will be doing CBT (which incorporates ERP) specifically to treat your OCD. I know you've read some self-help books by experts that set out what good CBT for OCD should involve (Break Free From OCD is my particular favourite for setting out what the gold standard of treatment looks like) so these give a good idea of what exercises you might do as part of this. If you do not feel confident about your current therapist, ask the service if you can be allocated a different therapist within the team who can offer CBT (which incorporates ERP) to treat your OCD. You can use the NICE guidelines to make it clear that you understand this is the evidence based treatment for OCD. When you are working with a therapist to treat your OCD, it is important to engage with the exercises as best you can and to do the assigned behavioural experiments/exposure work/exercises. It is ok to let your therapist know if things are moving too quickly, if there are things making it hard to engage or if you don't understand how an assigned activity relates to treating your OCD - in all these cases a good therapist should be able to adapt their approach if necessary to help you make best use of the sessions. Your therapist should be clear about the goals of treatment and should check in with you about the remaining number of sessions. If you are coming to the end of treatment and feel you need more sessions, you can ask for these. If the service cannot provide them, they should then refer you on/step you up to secondary care. Alternatively, if you complete treatment, after engaging with the cognitive exercises and doing the exposure work you do not feel you have moved forward, you can then ask the service, or your GP, to step you up to secondary care. Bear in mind that waiting lists for secondary care treatment are usually significantly longer than primary care/NHS Talking Therapies services, which is why it is good to be sure you have exhausted the possibilities of primary care before you ask to be stepped up. In my case, I completed primary care treatment several times and found that I had made some progress each time but still needed support, after several attempts they agreed to step me up to secondary care. It's really important as well to think about it in terms of the skills gained along the way from every attempt at treatment: when I started secondary care treatment I already had the benefit of having tried lots of behavioural experiments and learned multiple CBT strategies, so it gave a head start in terms of what we covered in later treatment because I had been able to tackle some compulsions myself and I already knew which areas were proving trickier to challenge. I say this as although it can feel frustrating to go through primary care treatment when you feel you need more intensive support, engaging fully with primary care support means that you develop skills and strategies you can use whilst you are on the waiting list for secondary care and all of that learning will benefit you once you commence secondary care treatment.
  25. EricDave, I'm a gay woman/lesbian/queer woman. I've had obsessions around my sexuality in the past - but because I am a woman exclusively interested in women, the obsession was around 'what if that isn't my true identity?' 'what if I came out, and have been with women exclusively, but am actually straight?' - that's why HOCD is such an unhelpful term. Some people use SOOCD - Sexual Orientation OCD - to capture that the obsession can affect someone of any sexuality, but to me it's just plain old OCD and is exactly the same as all the other OCD themes I've had over the years: the fear/anxiety/worry/disgust/distress is about my identity (all variations on what if I am a bad person? what if I do something that causes harm to myself or other people? what if I am not diligent enough and expose myself or others to dangerous things? what if I do something offensive etc etc) - in this case it was about my identity not being what I thought it was and have lived as and therefore hurting my partner and people I care about. For me, overcoming it was about realising that it really does not matter what my sexuality is , especially as increasingly many people perceive sexuality to be fluid anyway so even labelling ourselves is unnecessary - and lo and behold, when I stopped giving the intrusive thoughts my attention, they stopped being as frequent and do not bother me at all now. Also, at the risk of reassurance (but at this point it sounds like people have tried every tactic they can think of to help you move forward): As someone who has actually come out of the closet and is surrounded by queer people: Realising, embracing and being open about your sexuality is an overwhelmingly positive, weight-off-the-shoulders relief of finally being able to live as your authentic self. Even in the face of homophobia and for some people internalised homophobia, it is a sense of freedom not misery and disappointment.
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