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OCD-UK Member
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About OB1

  • Birthday 15/04/1974

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    Running, cycling, walking, photography, films, sailing, reading..

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  1. Hi Ashley, I was away over much of xmas but would love to do something in January if poss! Hope you had a nice one.
  2. As someone else who's been exactly where you are...what he said👆 Don't waste your life on what doesn't exist. Easier said than done I know, but the sooner you commit to getting on with your life and not ruminating, the quicker you'll realise you never needed to do it in the first place. You'll also feel more confident all round
  3. Hi Thinks2much The lack of trust in people is understandable after what you've been through but I think you need to work on stopping the rumination which is definitely a compulsion. Trying to be certain that you are safe is just going to reinforce your belief that you are in danger/people are dangerous and you need to keep mentally checking. Easier said than done I know but it is possible
  4. Hi Ralph, Sorry to hear this, I think the first port of call is to revisit what you did in previous therapy. Sounds like you’re forgetting to apply some of it. Also, remember there are no good or bad thoughts. You are labelling them which is causing distress and keeping the cycle going. Cheers
  5. Sorry to hear that, COVID has caused a lot of fear and anxiety. I think therapy can be an evolving process a bit like high altitude mountaineers do, before summiting but over a much longer timeline. They have to teach their bodies to adjust to the reduced oxygen levels over time so go up and down several times going higher each time until their body adapts to summit. Also some therapists are better at some aspects than others so may miss something, that's what happened to me with PTSD, possibly they were so focused on the OCD aspect they overlooked it. I've had the symptoms for decades but it took the last therapist to pick up on it, two other therapists missed it. Are your parents supportive? Do they understand what's going on? My parents supported me but I had a difficult relationship with my Dad who also had his own mental health issues so that added a lot of strain at times. Things can improve, hold on to that.
  6. Hi Lostsoul Sorry you’re having a tough day, I know exactly how you feel, intrusive thoughts about harming others was a big problem for me for a long time. Sadly it lead to me ending a few romantic relationships as well as stopping me from doing the things I wanted to do. I was petrified to talk about it for years. I was convinced I’d act or acted on my thoughts on many occasions and would spend literally years going over things in my mind every waking hour and it caused some very traumatic experiences along the way. Yes I’ve got my own house and have lived a few hundred miles from home for 10 or so years. I’ve established my life in the southwest and have a good group of friends. Its not perfect and I had a big setback two years ago but I asked for help and accepted all of it and I know some people helped me because I’d opened up a few years before that. I was in a pretty bad way so my mum came to look after me for six weeks so I could stay at work, I should really have been off but in a way I think it helped me get better quicker. Probably the toughest time in my life as I had severe insomnia for a few months on top of constant anxiety from a combination of ocd and ptsd. I’m still not back to myself but I do ok and manage. Have you had any therapy? This should be your goal and someone who understands the problem.
  7. Hi Lostsoul I totally get where you're coming from, I went back to live with my parents in my mid thirties because of OCD and PTSD. I'd left home quite young and lived a pretty independent life up till then so it was very hard. They secret is not to indulge those thoughts about what others think but that's way easier said than done particularly when you're struggling. I 'came out' with my OCD to all my Facebook friends a few years ago, it was a huge step and one I'd discussed with my therapist. For me it was important to speak out and not feel like I'm being silenced, so I decided it was important for me to do it. I got a lot of nice messages from people after that and some people contacted me directly to talk about their mental health issues which also helped me to not feel alone. For me it was also very empowering and a form of opening up to being vulnerable and by opening up to others, it gives them the opportunity to open up themselves as well as giving support to me. That all said, I do have anxious moments where I worry about having said it and if some people see it negatively, but I have to remember if that's what they think, if I ever found out they view me in that way, I would ditch them as a friend. Happy to talk some more about this.
  8. Hi Seb I just read your post, sorry it's so tough, I know it doesn't solve the issue but you're not alone, we all understand how hard it is. Sounds like you've made some good decisions in getting CBT arranged so well done on that. In the meantime perhaps try to recognise you don't have all the mental tools to help yourself for now so can only do so much. Sadly there's no off switch as it's well engrained beliefs that keep you hostage, i.e if I don't check something bad will happen and I cannot allow that. That's not to say you are helpless because there's a lot of books out there as well as support here. Hope work went well today and good on you for doing what you do as a career, it must be incredibly tough at the moment.
  9. I was there around 2008/9 and can’t think of where that is. My girlfriend lived in Manchester so spent a bit of time there too. Cumbria is lovely. I used to go to the Lakes a lot and miss it as well as the Yorkshire Dales and Moors.
  10. I love Dartmoor, the sea and the coastline, especially around Whitsand and Rame Head.
  11. I used to live in Frodsham if you know it? The sand stone trail is beautiful.
  12. Feeling drained and a quite down.  I know it's hardly surprising but living on my own is a real struggle right now and sleep is really poor :sad:

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. OB1


      Me either, although as I got into my early 20's I had female friendships too, some turned into a bit more but generally not.  I think we've evolved to live in the company of all ages and sexes, it's only the last few hundred years where we've become isolated units living amongst each other but quite separate, very British but it's not just us.  No wonder people feel more isolated especially the old but more so people my age or younger.

      My friend got back to me and said he'd just been for a run with is other half.  Would have been nice to offer to meet another time but he didn't.  I'm probably looking for something he can't offer, I think I do this sometimes.

      Did you play any sports @Avo?  I played a lot of football and for a few teams, I miss that comradery as well as the other stuff like competition and having a laugh of course!   

    3. Avo


      Sorry about your friend OB1, like you say I think people can forget or not appreciate if you are living alone. Have you tired any dating sites at all for relationships? I wonder if maybe due to the pandemic more people will feel like yourself and be thinking about finding that someone ? I accept currently you can't meet but you could strike up a rapport?

      I used to play quite a lot of football - mainly 5 a side with my mates we were in a league briefly but that fizzled out. I also quite like racket sports, Tennis, squash, Badminton but not played in years I am a tad out of shape if I am honest.

    4. OB1


      I've been using dating sites for years but no joy in meeting 'the one' so far apart from a couple of brief relationships, one of which my OCD went through the roof but I'm pretty sure I made the right decision to end it.  It's a minefield out there with some very strange people, you wouldn't believe some of the photos (not rude) and what people say, that said there are good people there too it's just sifting through the not so good ones.  I am chatting to someone at the moment so we'll see but it's hard not to be cynical because I could write a book on how many you talk to for a while and then they disappear.

      5 a side was always pretty full on when I played, no prisoner so to speak!! so easy to get injured.  I know people who played in a league and there would often be fights ?

      Me too with the tennis and badminton, I used to play a lot.  I once beat my squash teacher at school, that was a life lesson for me as I got a pretty bad grade after that :lol: worth it though, he was a bit of an idiot. 

      Cycling and running are my thing these days, I ride and run on and off road, it's a big part of my life and helps with mental health too.

      Are you planning to get back in shape?  It's well worth it. 

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