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Christina

Bulletin Board User
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Everything posted by Christina

  1. It´s never too late to find a new way - wishing you the best!
  2. Hang in there Emmalou1976 - I had thoughts for 20+ years, now I don´t care about them.
  3. The short answer is that it can´t go away until you stop engaging in the thoughts. I think you need a clear understanding of the fact that rumination can feel very automatic - but it is a behavior you can chose to engage in or not. To me mindfulness has been very helpful in addition to CBT and ERP. I have learned to strenghten my mind so I can take a step back when the whoosh turn up - I notice the thought but I resist to engage. When I do this repeatedly, after a while I see clearer - it was just a silly thought. But it takes practice and repetition to develope this. I have also used attention training techniques at you tube - simple practice to understand that I can direct my focus where I want. I´m not that good in English - hope my words make sense. I will encourage you; it is possible to get free from these thoughts, but you have to find the right tools and work hard to change your mindset.
  4. I get you. I have been where you are. I am totally free from those obsessions now (unfortunately I have others though) - I made a plan for each week where I gradually (very small steps) diminshed my compulsions. For every week it got easier - and now it doesn´t bother me at all. So...I think a plan and the small step is very important - it has to be a challenge but not too big so it becomes overwhelming. When your behavior changes your thoughts and your feeling of disgust will change. Focus on the recovery work day by day.
  5. Sending a hug, and a thought: maybe this is the exposure you need and if you avoid to struggle against the reality of having it I hope you´ll see taht it wasn´t taht awful and that you actually could manage. Take care.
  6. Hi...as I wrote in another post you wrote, I can relate so very much to your situation. Like you I have also suffered from different other medical condtions - and I feel like more vulnerable when anxiety shows up. We have to be aware of and get rid of the "need to know exactly" - "and thinking everything has to be just right or it's all ruined and there's no point?" - That´s absolutely OCD speaking!! It leads us to useless safety and control behaviours. Step by step we have to let go of these. Sending you a virtual hug - I get you - hang in there.
  7. I really like these books: "The mindfulness worksbook for OCD"/Corboy and J Hershfield, and "Everyday mindfulness for OCD", Shala Nicely and Jon Hershfield.
  8. Thank you so much for your response! I´m sorry your going through this. A agree with Polar Bear about the lane. It will always be something to worry about and with all our attempts to gain control we are losing control of our lifes. The current problem always seem as the biggest one - because our brain can´t cope with more than one big fear at a time. One thing that really helps me is mindfulness/meditation. It helps me to be aware of my mental activities and to be mindful of how I direct my focus. I really recommend The mindfulness workbook for OCD - Jon Hershfield. And I really like the mediation vault from Kimberley Quinlan, use it every day. When it comes to journaling - it´s a slippery slope - I have cehallenged myself to get rid of a lot of notes that works as reassurance and some kind of false safety. Hang in there! One step at a time, and sometimes two!
  9. Hi, I just wanna say that you are not alone, and I will thank you for sharing! I can relate so much to this post!! I and my husband live in a apartment with a lot of problems, and to me it´s so much stress and anxiety in a mix so sometimes I just pretend that the problems not exists - with other words I also try to calm my amygdala the wrong way... So if the roof leaks, rather than face the anxiety it causes to deal with it, I just let it leak, then my amygdala calms. But the roof still leaks! Wow- this is exactly what i have experienced so many times... We have also unfortunately have had bad luck with different craftsmen and sometimes it has ended up with more troubles... BUT, and this is what I try to do and hope I can encourage you in some way: I lay out a plan, step by step for every project. I make promises to myself and my husband like "next monday I will call the plumber - no matter what" I try to separate the project from my feelings and do like people without anxiety do - I avoid rushing and move forward step by step, sometimes very slow, and I add a lot of selfcompassion into the mix. I often find out that if I welcome the feelings, allow them to be there without fighting them - I can manage so much more than I knew beforehand. I also remind myself that I have procrastinated so many times and it only make things worse. Be proud for every bit of progress, that´s no small thing to do things we fear. English isn´t my native language, I hope I make sense...
  10. Get you. Maybe the most important thing in this situation is to be kind to yourself. Practice self compassion while you are doing a brave thing in line with your values. Don´t try to get anxiety free or perfect tomorrow. Just do your best and I wish you good luck!
  11. I have read a book called Clinicans handbook for OCD: inference based therapy - Kieron O´connor and Aardema. In that kind of therapy they are talking a lot about how we invent stories and go into the "OCD bubble" - and we have to use our senses and develope trust in ourself and in others to turn around and begin to live in reality instead. I don´t know much about the evidence for this tehrapy - but I can say that this book has helped me very much in understanding the process and how we get absorbed in the OCD-stories. The details and our compulsions make the stories seem very valid. English isn´t my native language, sorry if I don´t make sense...I just wanted o share this.
  12. I get you. I have had similar thoughts. Sounds like classic OCD. Act as if the thoughts about the peanuts weren´t present. The OCD will tell you that you are doing wrong - try to allow for that discomfort. Have a nice flight!
  13. I get you. I have been in and out of therapy many times, and I have felt so much tension before the start. The last time I was in treatment it was by video, like teams - and it worked very well! My best advice for you is to in some way let go of expectations about the outcome, instead try to build a mindset of "I will do my best day by day, leaning into the process of therapy, and trust the therapist, I have nothing to lose" If you do that, a lot of the tension will fade away. I wish you the best!
  14. Once again I find myself the 'expert' because I've got my asbestos survey, I've studied the HSE guidance, and the 'reassurances' given by (for instance) the building company, directly contradict those sources. I could have written those words a few years ago. I had a view of myself being THE EXPERT of safety around chemicals! Why should I trust other people? I KNEW I had the knowledge, the truth, I knew that people in general were careless. Your story touches me and I feel so strong that I hope you will see that this is a choice! You choose if you wanna live in the grip of OCD or not. You choose if you will change perspective and listen to other people, or not. You can´t have both. If you have decided to be the expert, ok, you can continue to live a miserable life. And you can propbably do more safety rituals, because it´s never enough. Or...you can make a decision to change your way of living, you can begin to open up to the rest of the world, choose to trust other people. It´s not easy, but it´s possible if you give it a chance and take it step by step.
  15. The next exposure and a really important one (and my biggest one) is to use public loos. An event is coming up Get you, I have had issues with this - now adays I use my five senses and try to avoid any special rituals. I check once, and then I sit down woth out paper. I wash my hands and leave. But, according to your words above: if this is the biggest one for you, you can´t expect that you can do this easily in one step. Maybe, but probably not. Your brain will send you alarms when you act in another way - taht´s why it´s important to make changes gradually. Begin today, go to a public loo and again tomoorow, and so forth. Build up your mental muscles instead of waiting for the event coming up. This is how I have worked with my own fears and what I have learned in ERP. Good luck!
  16. I can really relate to your fears - I have spent many years fearing dangerous chemicals, I have read plenty of safety instructions and often I have been very mad at careless people... But the thing is...at the end of the day: how do you want to spend the rest of your life? Can you see how these fears and all your safety rituals including avoiding, analyzing, ruminationg, destroy your life? We have a choice to make: living in fear and feed our OCD, or begin to break this dangerous pattern, which is far more dangerous than asbestos. I´m sorry that Howard helps you to engage in compulsions - it really worries me... I hope you´ll find a way to focus on life instead of avoiding things taht may be dangerous. To me ERP, CBT and midnfulness has helped me so much so I can enjoy life again. Wishing the same for you.
  17. Been there, done that...it´s easy to be too ambitious. Thanks!
  18. Hang in there, be kind to yourself and hope you´ll have a good nights sleep. Maybe it´s to much to combine ROCD and other exposures at the same time...do the best you can, but not so you get overwhelmed. One step at a time and you will gather strength and confidence with time.
  19. I do get you - have had similar issues. To me it has been important to make plans for my exposures/cleaning, managable but challenging. I decide how to do it and when. I make a plan for every week, and every day, with s m a l l steps. Self compassion is so important - I highly recommend Kimberley Quinlan, ske speaks a lot about this on her pod "Your anxiety toolkit" and her book "The self compassion workbook for OCD." I know it can be difficult with other people when you have OCD - but maybe you can ask someone to help you in one way or another!?
  20. Thank you! Well described! This is what I´m striving for too. With OCD we are making life too complicated.
  21. Yes! I am hypersensitive to changes and my OCD tends to spike. I think it´s about my "need" for having "control" - at least a sense of having control. I try to work on my ability to pracitice letting go and let the discomfort be there without trying to control my feelings. I also have to be aware of the level of stress in life - maybe I can adjust something so I don´t get overwhelmed by different changes at the same time.
  22. Hi I would like to bring some hope to you. I can relate to all your behaviours. I acted like you many years ago. Nowadays I have no problems at all in this area. I got free by making a plan where I gradually diminshed my rituls littel by little. Every week I took a new step. To me it was important to 1. make a plan and follow throug 2. Be aware of the tricks from my OCD: it will always come up with arguments and tru to convince me that I wasn´t clean enough. I had to stick with my plan and don´t listen. It took 6 months to go from showering all my body after every "number 2" to just wash my hands quickly. I was a great relief! Today if I accidently get some poop on my hand, I just quickly wash my hands. My brain has learned that it´s no big deal. If you can´t do it on your own, I hope you will find a therapist for help. To me it was importat to work forward in my own speed.
  23. I really get you. This could be me. What helps me is to see that I ruminate a lot, and I work on breaking that pattern. I make a decision and when the anxiety thoughts turn up I notice them and return to the things at hand, again and again (mindfulness) - the discomfort fade with time. And as your therapist told you, don´t say no to avoid anxiety - answer in line with your values.
  24. I know there are different success levels from NOCD - my best advice is to download the app, it´s for free - and ask the question in that forum. Personally I have have made huge progress with thanks to on line therapy (Swedish)- I Ilive in Sweden, and it isn´t easy to find a therapist nearby.
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