Caitlin

Just looking for some advice. I’ve been going through a really bad phase with my OCD. I think it’s down to working from home. The last time I felt this bad was just after I had my son and that was in 2009. At that point I was put up to 60mg of citalopram from 40mg which was allowed at the time. I spoke to my doctor recently about how I was feeling and given 60mg helped me the last time they suggested that I go from 40 to 60 again just in the short term until I’m back in my office and in a proper routine. I’m just concerned about taking the 60mg even though I know it helped before but at that time it was okay to be on 60 and I guess I’m just a bit worried about the risks given the information about being on a higher dose. Is anyone in a similar position or have any thoughts on this? Thanks for reading lynnie

I work full-time as a paralegal in a solicitors firm and have a 5 year old son. Some days it all feels just too much but worry about the consequences if I were to give into my ocd...every day is a new fight x

Thanks so much for your replies both have been very helpful. Dukkha I have had pure ocd since I was 21 and thought i knew everything about it but I never knew or had heard of false memory ocd...it makes so much sense now. It mainly happens when I've been drinking although I actually don't drink that much even just one glass of wine and I wake up in the morning convinced I have done something ridiculous and searching through memories of the night before...thanks to you Dukkha I now know why. I always find its easier to deal with if you know what your dealing with. The only thing that concerns me though is when thinking back on past memories how do you know if they are real memories or something ocd has put there? Rose I work full-time and have a 5 year old son so I do have quite a lot of distractions throughout my day but you are absolutely right the only thing that helps is keeping my mind occupied when it hits badly and keeping life as normal as possible I.e going to work although I won't feel like it. Thanks to you both C x

Hi folks, I was staying over at my friends house on Saturday night and had quite a bit to drink. Although I was a bit drunk I remember absolutely everything about the night. Yesterday though I started to have thoughts that I did something to my friend's child while she was sleeping and it's making me feel sick to the stomach. I know for a fact I didn't as I say I remember the whole night. I went into see her twice just to make sure she was asleep and the next I just had a wee look at her (I think I was missing my own wee boy as he was staying with grandparents) and they are both good friends. The thoughts are convincing me I did something when I know I didn't and I'm really struggling to deal with this. The thought of doing that to a child absolutely disgusts me and I know this is why my OCD is latching on - again it attaches itself to the worst case scenario. I've not had any horrid thoughts like this for ages and I'm a bit out of practice on how to deal with such a horrific thought - any suggestions would be really helpful. I know the OCD is having a field day because I'm so distressed about this whole thing but I just want to make it stop. A very upset C x

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I know what your saying is spot-on about acceptance. It's just sometimes you can deal with it better than others and with being on and off different meds this year it has simply taken its toll on me. I'm hoping that after being back at my GP today that things will start to turn the corner for me and my OCD. Thanks again Cx

Hi everyone, I've been on Citalopram for years at the maximum dose of 40mg. I haven't been doing so well for about a year so the GP has tried different medications with me. Firstly I was changed from Citalopram to Mirtazapine which completely knocked me out so the Dr took me off that one. I was then put back on Citalopram to try and level everything out but was still struggling back at 40mg. The GP then decided to add Amitryptaline 10mg to my Citalopram as she had noticed from experience that this combination was quite a good one. Of course with me it has had a horrible effect in that I want to sleep constantly and my horrible thoughts have returned in force all surrounding my wee boy who I love more than anything but keep having thoughts that I'm going to harm him in some way. I know this is the OCD and not me and I have done plenty of exposure i.e been on my own for long periods at a time with him but it's not easing at all. I'm back at the GP tomorrow and wonder what has worked for others who have experienced the same thoughts, etc as me. I know I'm probably going to have to change meds again but I am at my wits end and just need a bit of relief from it all. I'm so worried I get put onto yet another med that doesn't work - my family life and work are definitely starting to suffer because of having to be on and off different meds. Any input in what has worked for others would be greatly appreciated - I feel completely demented and drained with it all. Help!! C x

Has anyone any experience of takings these two meds together? C x

Hi peeps Was back at my GP today as I'm still struggling away on 40mg of citalopram. She suggested I take Amitriptyline 10mg as this could help. Just wondering if anyone else has done this and what their experience was of this. As always any feedback is greatly appreciated. C x

This is what I love about this site...someone (yourself) can make you see things from another perspective that you never thought of. That's such a good answer and you've a great way of explaining it. Thank you polar bear x

I sometimes go through phases where I have a horrible feeling hanging over me...it's how I would feel if I had an intrusive thought about something distressing but sometimes there is no thought but just the feeling. How do you fight a feeling. I believe it's easier to deal with an intrusive thought than an intrusive feeling. Anyone have any thoughts or similar issues? C x

Thanks so much everyone for your replies sometimes it's just enough to know that other people have experienced the same thing you have. All comments were really helpful x

Was just wondering if anyone has experienced something similar. I'm on 40mg of citalopram so tend not to drink very much but Whenever I go out drinking with friends which isn't very often I go to my bed and then wake up around 5am and can't get back to sleep as I'm convinced I have done or said something that I can't remember...this happens even if I have only had a glass or 2 of wine. I then can't get back to sleep no matter how much I tell myself that nothing's happened and then I end up feeling ill for the rest of the day coz I had a few drinks and very little sleep. Would love to hear from anyone who has experienced this and what they did to combat this. Many thanks C x

Hi folks, I've been on 40mg of citalopram for a while and me and my gp decided that I had probably become to used to them and you can't increase beyond 40mg so we decided to change meds and went with mirtazapine but unfortunately it just knocked me out and I work full-time so was no use. In order to try and get myself better I've went back to citalopram as I know they've worked before but it's only been 3 weeks and I'm really struggling. I know this will eventually ease once they have fully kicked in by it's hard trying to get through the days when you feel so bad. Also keep waking up in the mornings in a panic and need to just get up and do something so my days are starting around 6am and I'm just so shattered. Sorry for going on just hate feeling like this. C x

Hey I'm so sorry to hear your having a hard time. Having a new baby is hard enough without the post-natal depression. I had this too after about 5 weeks I became very ill but I was on citalopram and at that point I could go to 60mg which got me back on my feet again. I haven't tried olanzapine so can't comment but I promise it does get better. I never thought I'd ever get better, be a good mum, etc but you do get through it. I promise. C x

I just started mirtazapine 15mg 2 days ago and I have been so dizzy since. I haven't been able to go to work and I'm worried as to how long this will last. Is anyone else taking mirtazapine and if so has anyone else had any similar experiences and how long did it last. C x