Tink

Thank you Taurean and Binxy for your replies .Psychiatrist phoned me today with good news .A specialist neuro psychologist who is just back from USA was at meeting today and has asked to meet me to help .He specialises in OCD and neurology so fingers crossed I get the help needed ,

Hi Im not the best person to advise ,But its overnight and thought would try and help as darkness tends to make matters worse .Firstly phone your benefits office ask for what forms you need .Next book yourself an apointment at CAB office .Citizens advice Office .They will help fill in form for free and advise you on benefits you can claim .What you can claim depends on your needs .Everyone is an individual and its judged on having medical evidence ie hospital reports ,gp reports basically anyone that can substantuate your claim .Dont be put off by form filling let someone help you .Best Wishes Tink :original:

Hello everyone :-) Its been quite a number of years since I used the forums.My story is long and not feeling like going into too much detail just now .2 days ago I got formally diagnosed by psychiatrist as having OCD .Previously diagnosed informally nearly 5 yrs ago by sons psychiatrist on home visit.I have survived with secrecy and help of good friends and masses of good will. Ive been off work since beginning of the year and psychiatrist says that I have suffered a break down trying to supress the OCD thoughts as well as coping with my fibromyalgia symptoms .This means that I can no longer work in my dream job.But! Im glad that I was able to as long as have so Im grateful. Tonights been the worst night .Whenever I attempt to sleep my thoughts are racing and nothing is slowing them down .Logic says its because I spoke openly to the psychiatrist that my brain now thinks the flood gates are open .When I manage to settle one fear another races into my thought process with more severity than previous one .Or could be Im just so tierd not coping . Ive turned heating off and made sure place is safe so just got to ride the storm .Psychiatrist is going to phone after MDT today about whats happening with meds and psychology input . Thankyou to anyone who has read and Take Care Hugs Tink xxx

Hi folks,Ive not used the forums for few years so bit rusty.Im going through a bit of a blip just now and cant seem to shift it .I have an extreme fear of bridges,lifts and public transport .I walk for miles to avoid using these things .I know with phobias the more you give into the fear the bigger the anxiety becomes .What I didnt expect was the anxiety to grow after I faced my fears At the weekend I travelled to my Mums up north .Had no option but to use transport .Felt good being able to use train and bus without too many probs .What has sent my anxiety levels sky high is .When I reached train station I read time table wrong .It left me with 4 minutes to cross two bridges and use three lifts to get there .In total state of panic I decided to just go for it .By time Id crossed first bridge and approached second lift I was in melt down .I found myself talking out loud .Please please dont let anyone enter lift with me .Well that worked everyone stayed back lol. Who in there right mind was going to follow me after that melt down .If I thought I was doing well I went even further into despair when both sides of lift opened .I screamed loudly .Oh well clear run on next bridge and no one dared follow ne on next lift to platform . When I reached platform everyone was looking at me ,At least I got seat to myself on train so some good came out of all the embaresment . Whats getting me now is I feel so low in mood .I keep thinking what an absolute prat I made of myself .I wasnt brave I was an emotional wreck and just want to shut myself away .Now Im finding I cant face doing anything that involves going out of house .I know I have to which just makes me feel even lower . Sorry for long winded message ,Sometimes just sharing eases the pain .

Hi legally medicated,My son has been put on the work related support allowance in his last assessment .My ex asked for a copy of report and how they came to decision .Son was interviewed by a general trained nurse at interview .There was no letter to accompany report .Its full of inconsistencies and down right untruths .We intend to appeal decision as they agree son is not fit to work in last paragraph yet still took him off disiblity living allowance and placed him on this lower rate benefit .Hope that your keeping well hugs Tink x

Dear OCD I get knocked down and then I get back up .The good days are special when we are apart .You are the weakest link GOODBYE

Well put Mell.Dealing with a child with OCD is very difficult .In my case my son was 18yrs when it seriously started to affect him .Your then dealing with adult services who are ill equiped to deal with situation .8 psychiatrists 3 cpns numerous people from crisis team .I was told 2 years ago in November by psychiatrist and cpn .There was nothing more they could offer me until son would accept help and Merry Xmas .Son was stuck to wall flicking light switch off and on blowing long life light bulbs weekly .He was suffering from hallucinations and intrusive thoughts which made him paranoid about me .He lived on protein drinks and bounty bars and specific special k bars .He thought if he could have the perfect week his life would be perfect .If I spoke to him that ruined it .I remember once he told me he was on day 6 and because Id asked him if he was ok that the week would begin again .!!!!!! I remember that xmas so well I was trapped in my room eating corn beef sandwiches hiding from him .He began running fast up and down stairs shouting obscenities at me .Nothing can prepare you for that .As Mell says it was friends on forum that kept me basically alive .Without OCD uk I would not be here .I became suicidal and had to fight my intrusive thoughts , Worst piece of advice I received from member of crisis team was tell him to go out a walk .My son couldnt go outside the house and hadnt been for months at this time .I wanted son detained under mental health act .My husband didnt .. I pleaded and begged for help and each time nothing could be done .Letters were written and never a reply in writting but someone always followed up .On the last occassion a sympathetic psychiatrist and cpn came out .The psychiatrist had tears in her eyes as she left saying its been left too late Its going to be very difficult for him to reclaim his life back .Detention papers were signed hubbie was heart broken and told son who jumped out onto the roof .Police got called ,son bolted past husband who was just gratefull to get him off roof .Son ran through street bare foot before we caught up with him .He stayed in hospital 3 months and put on weight and began to get help with psychologist .He then challenged his detention with aid of a solicitor and came home .There was no follow up .I left home and filed for divorce.I kept in touch every day and visited2-3 times a week .My son would turn his back or hide his face with his hands to speak to me .This continued for next 16months.My husband had to write letter after letter to get him seen by cpn and he got much needed psychologist appointment on May this year .His cbt ended this week and I have my boy back.In few hours time I will be eating my xmas dinner with him and family .What breaks my heart is why oh why did we have to fight so hard to get treatment especially cbt .It should be automatically given without a fight.There should also be more training given to mental health staff on the subject of ocd .Sorry for such a long winded post but perhaps if nothing else comes of this it highlights the fact without ocd forum a lot of us would never be able to cope .Keep up the fight everyone and remember you are your childs little voice .When you meet resistance from health professionals keep going you know your child better than anyone else .LOVE AND HUGS Tink xxx

It has been several years now that I have been using this forum .Both as a sufferer and more importantly parent of one .Tonight I am so happy to tell yous my much loved son has come back to me .For the first time in years he can hold something that I can hand him without pulling his sleave over his hand .He sat beside me today I honestly cant remember last time he was able to sit next to me .He has always stood with his back to me when talking .More importantly he says he misses me and wants me to be at xmas meal .Im crying whilst typing as its been such a roller coaster over last few years .but! I HUNG IN THERE.My sons OCD was most severe psychiatrists had ever encountered.I had to section my son to get him help.Through fighting with services and my own mental health deterioating I left home and seperated from my husband .It was extreme measures and sometimes the thought of trying to get through another week was unbearable .But it has been worth it . With the help and support of forum and the fantastic friends that I have made here I did make it as, there is always someone to listen and give you encouragement to keep going . With correct treatment CBT and medication you can regain your life .Anyone out there that thinks no way can they be helped your wrong .Seriously if my son can come back to normal pre ocd crisis everyone can .NEVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE .FIGHT BACK .Thank you Ashley and all the moderators and my friends for first time in 4yrs I will be having a very special Xmas hugs and love Tink xxx

Thankyou,Legend,Violet and Thjs, My friend came for a visit tonight to help me over this blip .Luckily I have my own psychiatric nurses on tap lol.We spoke at great length and got to root of problem .I bought a knife few weeks back and got stopped by the alarm at the door going out .The cashier hadnt taken the security tab off .So straight away the knife was taboo.Ive been building it up in my mind as a big monster and havent been able to touch it since .Going to write myself a programme and gradually expose myself to it . Legend your right .The suspension bridge even with joggers on an icy dark morning is now do able lol. I used Snowbears suggestion of imagining jelly babies bouncing to make it seem rediculous and funny in my mind .Thanks guys for caring enough to respond .Sometimes when your in a bad place with OCD thoughts it takes the edge off knowing others are out there .MANY THANKS HUGS Tink x

Hi guys,For last few weeks I feel as though my mind has been racing and I have no control of my thoughts.It escalated when my ex asked me to buy him set of kitchen knives .I cant hold or use knives as I fear I will harm someone .All I think about now is the knives ,perhaps ex thinks I should die as I have failed as a mum .Son has ocd .I cant use my fb account as I just know I will let everyone down .It makes my head spin thinking about logging on to see how people are .Requests for games come 24/7 and if I dont catch each request I feel Im letting people down . I deactivated my fb account last week to try and slow my thoughts as cafe world involves knives .Chopping ,slicing and dicing .Crazy stuff .I JUST FEEL iM LOOSING MY MIND . Ive got a week off work so hopefully I can calm these thoughts down .I just fear everything just now especially high winds,thunder and lightening . I am trying hard to distract myself by painting and craft stuff.It works for a while then visions of knives appear.Thankyou for reading .

Hi proud mum,Yes my ex has been telling me now past fortnight that family just want a quiet time no visitors at meal .Things seem to be fairly settled and I visit them twice a week .Ex and son never come to my new place and they never ask to visit .When I was at home I know I became my sons enabler and it didnt help situation .Now that Im, away, its like I never stayed there .Apart from a few of my paintings all traces of me have been eradicated .But ! I still care about them and miss them .Last night when ex answered phone I heard him say that will be your mum checking up again .On the flip side they all have winter jackets ,boots and candles torches etc to last next decade lol. Well at least still got my sense of humour .Anyone needing cosy blankets let me know lol

Hi guys,Past few weeks I seem to have become a wreck again .My stomach is churning just typing this but here goes .I feel that if I dont take care of everyone around me and make sure that they are protected from the elements then something really awfull will happen .It peaked the other night when I went out and bought 50 candles 4 torches juice crisps cookies to hand out to family in case of a power cut in high winds .My ex thought I was loopy .My son just looked at me in sympathy and ate the cookies in front of me ,sigh, Ive bought snow grips for family and constantly being a pain texting and phoning to make sure that they are safe . Im trying to be rational and tell myself I just care about people but its taking hold .Even cyber friends cant escape me .I worry about everyone .I dont know how to back off .Family dont want me at Xmas meal this year either .Think Im too much for people to listen to .Thankyou for taking time to read Hugs Tink x

Hi Skyedge,Hugs x ,I Feel for you so much .I battled the mental health system for nearly 2 yrs before my son got the correct treatment .He went through 8 psychiatrist numerous CPNs and diffrent members of ceisis team .My son was virtual prisoner in his bedroom turning lights on and off ,blowing long life lightbulbs within a week .Because he was able to express himself coherently and talk a good game when needed in front of these people and turn the tables round blaming me nothing could be done for him .It was deemed his choice and that until he asked for help nothing could be done .I feel butterflies in my stomach recalling these events .PLEASE DONT GIVE UP WRITE TO EVERYONE YOU CAN .consultants ,mps,Mental welfare commission .Its wearing and takes time but someone must listen to you .Services hate letter writers as they must be seen to do something in responce .Write to health authority and ask for help in caring for hubbie . Hope that you get help soon .hugs tink xxx

Just listened to your story .Well done .It describes the intrusive thoughts that many have .Im sure people that listen to this recording will empathise with what you said .Thankyou for your bravery and honesty.Take care hugs x

Hi mums the word and Carolj,My son was put on an antipsychotic over 20 months ago and its transformed his life .His OCD symptoms were extreme and severe ,I was worried about him using antipsychotic medication being so young .But it was like the only thing left and son really needed help.It has worked really well and son is at college now and making friends .When he defaults he doesnt speak to me .He lives with his dad so I have no control over medications .Take care hugs x

Hi guys ,Its been a while since I used the boards and Ive been coping quite well .Today I got good news that my son is starting a course that he is wanting .Any one that knew me last year will know that its an amazing achievement and Im so proud of the way he has turned his life around . My problem is that my OCD seems to be getting out of my control again and I fear if I dont do my rituals completely or if I upset anyone then something bad will happen and my son will loose place on course .I cant believe how weak that I have allowed myself to become that I find myself in this position . Ive used 3 bottles of bleach since Tuesday yet I still cant use the bath as I dont think its clean enough.My rational side tells me that Im being silly and yet I still fear using it . Sorry guys for whinging it helps just getting it out of my system .Hugs everone Tink x

Hi guys both my son and I have OCD .I tried so hard to get him help which he declined to engage with services .In the end son ended up in hospital with severe OCD and psychotic symptoms .He was released from hospital last year after contesting his detention.When he returned home I was rehoused and I hoped with all my heart that he would recover quicker with me his enabler out the picture .I never lost contact and try and help out as much as possible ,but his Dad has final say in all matters . Last month after much nagging his Dad I got him to write more letters to his CPN ,Psychiatrist and doctor to find out what was happening about his much promised psychologist appointment for CBT.Within a week he had appointments for all 3 as he had slipped through the net .This happens on a regular basis .He sees someone and then gets forgotten about .Well things started to look up last month psychologist and son seemed to get on well with him .Son had applied to do graphic design course at college .The same place that he had done his art portfolio .This focus seemed to do him the world of good he worked hard on preparing for interview .They sent a letter a fortnight ago bringing forward his interview by a month to last week .Son was bit anxious as he had scheduled his workload over the month ,but, undetered he worked round the clock to prepare for interview . I was really proud of him as he had overcome amazing obstacles to get this far .This time last year he wouldnt eat and was virtually stuck to a light switch flicking it on and off blowing long life light bulbs sometimes 2 a week . Anyway tonight I visited son and Dad .College had written saying he had not been sucessfull in his application .I wept buckets when I left them .Feel angry they dont recognise his talent or indeed recognise the effort he has put in .He was previously accepted on a degree course for art but felt it was too much too handle just now hence he applied for HND course .The tutors know about his breakdown with OCD as he was preparing portfolio when he became ill . Ifeel so guilty that I didnt try harder to get him help sooner .If only I had been stronger and fought the system perhaps he would not have became as ill as he did .I just dont know what or who to turn to for help .Son is an A grade student with little prospects based on this interview with college . Thanks for letting me off load hugs everyone

Hi and welcome to the forum .I am a sufferer and have a son with OCD .Unfortunately Im rubbish with advice but will try and reply as you have been waiting a few days .The best treatment for OCD is CBT cognitive behavioural therapy .Its very difficult to treat someone that doesnt recognise they need help .I went through that harrowing process with my son .It was long process and it was not easy to get him to accept help .With medication which includes an antidepressant which lessens the anxiety and lifts the mood ,making the person more accepting of treatment ie CBT ;as OCD and depression can and for some usually run hand in hand ,the OCD symptoms can be managed .On the home page there is lots of information for managing and great advice with 4 steps .With hindsight I can look back and see where I went wrong .I ended up being my sons enabler .It got to ridicules levels where he wouldnt allow me out of my room,He used to request specific items and Id go out to all night supermarkets to stop him getting upset .Its actually kinder in long run to define rules and stick to them .ie have a discussion on whats acceptable in relationship and whats not .You have to be consistent though no means no .Are you perhaps able to go to GP surgery and explain to doctor whats going on.Is there any mental health community staff where you live ?Im sorry not to be of much help .Just finnished night shift but will reply to any posts later when wakened .Take care and hope things get better .Tink :hug:

Hi Ace Mel has given you a really indepth reply of great info and insight as a parent and friend of OCD sufferer.OCD tends to make us overanalyes and ruminate about the slightest of things .The trick is to identify whats important .Each day I spend too many hours wondering if I said the correct thing to someone in conversation .Then I wonder if something said by someone was perhaps meant to be taken a diferent way than I perceived .All confusing when also dealing with other OCD thoughts and every day life lol. Have you tried writing family a letter .Just an idea .Sometimes easier to explain our thoughts when writing .Take Care hugs tink x

My son gave me a mothers day card.Means the world to me . To all the mums struggling just now STAY STRONG.Although things are bad they do eventually get better hugs x :hug:

If all else fails humour is what gets us through bad OCD moments .I also laughed :clapping: lol cheers

Hi starbar,Your not alone especially on this forum .Everyone of us gets days where we feel like hiding under the duvet .One of my sayings used to be stop the world I want to get off.It passes though and when your mood raises you will thank the stars you had strength to fight on . I always read the Stephen Fry letter when down .He uses the weather as a metaphor for his mood and its brilliantly written .Just have yer hankie ready for a wee tear . You have been down before and came back from it .You can do it .Are you on any meds at moment .Im off the prozac but considering starting it again as I spend more time crying than anything else lol.You still playing guitar ? I know its difficult to get motivated when feeling down but keep busy . You sure have loads to say to people and its uplifting when you find time to say positive things to tell others when your feeling so low yourself.Stay positive and you will get through this hugs :hug: Tink x