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Orangutan

Different manage stations of OCD

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Hi, 

I am looking for some advice on my husbands situation. We’ve been together for over 10 years now but I don’t have a good enough understanding of how to help him. Or whether I am helping him or making things worse. He started to do some CBT with a therapist when he was younger but he has refused since I’ve known him. 

My husbands OCD seems to manifest in a different way to a lot of people. I’m not sure how common it is. It usually occurs if he if given a gift or buys something for himself (usually the he’s wanted for a long time). For example a number of years ago he was given a MacBook Pro. As soon as he got it he became obsessed with tiny details that no one else would notice, an increase in the backlight behind one key vs another, tiny scratches that would be invisible to the naked eye. It came to a real head when someone managed to put a small dent in it., (He tends to try and fix whatever problem that he has found, usually making whatever he has seen a lot worse). In trying to fix it, he did some major damage to the bottom plate and then got so upset with himself for not stopping sooner and was angry and upset with me for not stopping him. 

Usually things get better over time owning something, but it can be incredibly draining for him, it takes over his entire thought process. 

He recently bought himself a watch. He decided he managed to scratch it by using his t-shirt to clean it. I can’t even see what he is looking at but he’s convinced he damaged it. Over the last few weeks it’s taken over his life, distracting him from work (he’s a very senior exec), affecting time with myself and also friends. Hes bought numerous polishing cloths, taken it back to the shop to get it polished etc. Nothing is helping and I don’t know how to help him. I keep telling him there isn’t a problem with it but he won’t listen to me. 

Im not sure if it’s better to go along with how he’s feeling or try and convince him there’s not a problem. He has times where he knows it’s all in his head but they are few and far between. I’ve tried to convince him to speak to someone but he refuses. 

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Hi there,

I also suffer from this brand of OCD and the worst thing about it is that its not as common as the other forms of OCD - so finding other people with it is hard!  The term for it is NJRE's (Not Just Right Experiences) and mine manifest in the obsession of physical items being 'perfect' and to keep things perfect from the point of ownership.  Strangely, it only seems to apply itself to the things I personally own but it does sometimes attaches itself to things I buy for others (such as a console/electronics) for my daughter. 

I spend hours cleaning and re-cleaning items, validating to myself that a scratch or damage is not there and not happened.  If something gets a scratch, even the tiniest blemish (and I do mean tiny, even invisible unless under UV light) the obsessions increases tenfold and I will go to extreme lengths to 'cure' it.  This includes cleaning more, buying another (regardless of horrendous cost) or being really dishonest, like buying a new one and switching it with the 'damaged' one.

Please let me know if you are still in the situation above (its an old post), if so I would love to talk to yourself and your husband.  I battle this illness everyday and im sure we can exchange experiences and tips.

All the best

Edited by smallmiracle

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Yes, but the process is to leave it alone & sit with the anxiety until anxiety clears up & it does eventually. 

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