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Need some help please

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30 minutes ago, Wren said:

Sounds like you are stuck in same ocd cycle as me - peace/joy when I feel I am a 'good' person (or lately, that the universe is good place); overwhelming abandonment depression when I get some kind of confirmation that I am bad and condemned, or the universe is fundamentally bad; and then never ending avoidance and rumination on ethics, morality, and religion when I can't decide which is true. Sometimes I don't even know what the trigger for the abandonment depression is, and like you say it's often in the sequence joy: depression: obsession, it is like being on a rollercoaster. 

It will be like that for a while. As long as one do more good than bad it is alright.

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If there's one word I think needs to be put in the bin, it's narcissist.  It is such a stigmatised, toxic label and you see it widely overused to mean basically any kind of self-centred, vain or attention-seeking behaviour (which basically means all humans, then).  I don't believe anybody can be given a label like this - or really any label which puts their entire personality in a box.  People are massively massively complex.  People engage in all kinds of behaviours for a gigantic number of reasons but essentially people do things which make sense to them given their experiences up to that point. That's it.  Their behaviour on one day might be less than desirable; maybe they can learn from that; maybe they can't.  People have flaws, make mistakes, hurt others - maybe they can learn from it, maybe they won't.  But all of this is normal.  What you describe in your first post is normal human behaviour with a massive wallop of OCD rumination.

If you've been reading about this you'll also have read that narcissism is seen as a spectrum, and pretty much everyone is on it.  If somebody had no narcissistic traits, they would either be suppressing themselves or would be some kind of saint (or robot) and would probably be a bit strange. 

I think it's important that you stop analysing yourself so much in this way, I think it has become compulsive for you.  You need to take a "so what" approach.  if you have narcissistic traits - so what? All any of us can do is our best, which varies from one day to the next.  If you don't like your behaviour on one day you can change it.  But labels like this help no one and should be put in the bin, in my opinion.

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I have to disaagree. There are people who destroy lives and do it wirh purpose. They are toxic. However they did stop to use NPD in the DSM didn't they? 

I say this because toxicpeople have no place in ones life, they will always say that you need to accept them bla bla. You don't. 


A narcissist wouldnt worry toomuch about him being it. But it is a classics ocd-theme, so treat it as such. You have OCD. If it turns out you worry about this when you habe overcome OCD then you are one of few narcissists withselfawareness and you could go to therapy. However, like I said, I am pretty sure they removed NPD from the DSM. Soo I have to admit thay GBG are right in a technical meaning

Edited by OCDhavenobrain

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