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  1. No it's not fair on him and also talking about it is reassurance seeking, a big compulsion. You need to sit with the discomfort and anxiety.
  2. Hi ashley Well what I was doing previously was basically just gritting my teeth and bracing myself for each trigger that came along. I saw it as exposure as I didn't get up and leave the room but really I was reacting to the triggers as if they were all very serious which made me more and more anxious. So last night I tried to treat them more lightly as emsie suggested, so instead of bracing myself I took a more apathetic stance and tried to see the triggers as silly more than serious. If that makes sense. I realise that this possibly goes against agreeing with the thoughts and other schools of thought.
  3. @Emsie I watched TV last night and tried your suggestion and it worked pretty well I was able to disengage much more quickly than normal. I also kind of shrugged my shoulders in a "meh" kind of way. So thank you x
  4. This does sound totally the same especially the mental scanning thing, my brain is just looking for things to link to my theme and boy does it find them! That sounds a good plan let's both try and conquer this x
  5. Well I had a drink and it was fine although I did conk out as soon as I got in - probably not the meds and just me being a lightweight
  6. Hi bt I can identify with much of what you go through. I agonise over ways in which I feel I've let my partner down or been deceitful or whatever. It's no fun. I agree with gemma that you should look into getting some specialist help - you deserve to get your life back and enjoy it again. X
  7. Hi em That does make total sense thank you! I really like the idea of laughing at it because it totally takes the wind out of it if you refuse to take it seriously. I will try that when we watch TV tonight ( killing eve, really good programme ) Thank you and I'm glad you had a good time at the beach! Xx
  8. Hi Petal You had a great evening with your partner and that's what you need to focus on. OCD is doing its thing. Let it. Don't play its game. Don't engage with it. You had a great evening, now just move onto the next thing and enjoy your life with your partner. you don't need to get drawn into this. I think excessive drinking can be problematic with OCD... I say that not judgmentally but as someone who has experienced it in times gone by. It distorts or even wipes your memory and that gives OCD a chance to get its hooks in. alcohol is also a depressant as I'm sure you know.
  9. I agree these boards will be a much sorrier place without you Roy you are the backbone of the forum and can always be relied upon to be compassionate, patient and above all knowledgeable. You have certainly done your time though and you've more than earned some time to yourself! See you soon in the members' area
  10. I know it's so hard and I really struggle too, but the key is to think maybe everything isn't fine, and to adjust to the discomfort you feel because of this. X
  11. Thanks emsie, hope you have a wonderful time at the beach xx
  12. Hi cub I think you are doing a few compulsions with this - a big one being where you say God understands. That is self reassurance. I think in order to beat this you need to meet ocd head on - think, OK maybe I am committing a sin, maybe God doesn't understand. Then go and do it some more. Go and talk on a fan site about it, or whatever you would want to do if this wasn't an issue. Don't try and make it better because in doing so you are making ocd worse. Does that make sense? X
  13. Thanks emsie that does make total sense. The bracing is definitely a compulsion but honestly don't know how to stop it feels very automatic! I will definitely keep a log, thank you for the suggestion and I hope you're well x
  14. Hi hopingtorecover I don't want to muddy the waters here so feel free to ignore me. Personally I find it problematic trying to find the right way to respond to thoughts. I end up becoming somewhat obsessed (should I agree? Should I say maybe? Etc). For me I've found the best way is to really not engage with the thought at all even to agree with it or whatever, and the exposure is just leaving it there. So you get the thought "thread worms are a threat" - and you acknowledge that you're having a thought and you get on with your day without evaluating the content. You will feel anxious and that's OK. And the same thing if a child scratches themselves "I am having a thought that this poses a threat" and move on without evaluating the content of that thought. You want to get to the point where your brain sees the thoughts as meaningless guff and I think the best thing is to treat them as such rather than getting sucked into the content. Not sure if that makes any sense!
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