Ex partners contamination OCD made him leave

[Limale]

My ex boyfriend of almost 2 years left me and said he no longer has any feelings for me. He has suffered from contamination OCD for around 18 month and only in the last few month it became what I would describe as severe. He has decided the contamination only exists in the area we live and that he must move back in with his parents 100 miles away in order for him to “feel better”. He also told me he has to cut all ties with the area including me, our dog, his job and his house which I know is the reason for him ending our relationship. He refuses to seek professional help and believes that moving will solve all but I'm worried he is making huge life decisions whilst not in the correct frame of mind. The man that I met would have been terrified at the idea of us not being together but his OCD has just taken over everything. Has anybody else experienced anything similar? I know he is my ex boyfriend but I still worry and care about him and just want him to be ok

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi Limale

I'm really sorry to hear that your boyfriend has broken up with you and left the area you live in and everything else behind, that must be so hard for you both. I have heard of people with OCD moving homes because of OCD, often because of contamination based fears, throwing away possessions, and many other things to avoid what they fear. So it is possible your ex boyfriend moved back to his parents for similar reasons. 

If he has moved to avoid OCD fears it is unfortunately unlikely it will solve his problems long term, so if he is still struggling with OCD, accessing therapy could really help him. It might be that there is little you can do at the moment to care for your ex boyfriend, you could learn more about OCD and how it works, so if he does reach out you can help him better. A great self-help book is Break free from OCD and although it is aimed at sufferers it is great for loved ones to read too.

There is also a presentation from our online conference on how to help a loved one by Dr Lauren Callaghan that you might find helpful https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/family/helping-family-member-with-ocd/ 

Gemma

[Limale]

Hello thank you so much for the reply. A couple of months back I bought him that exact book but he wont read it as he just will not accept that he needs professional help. I also agree with what you are saying that moving back to his parents wont solve anything but by that point he realises he will have sold our house and got a job back there so his life will be there. I really tried my best for him to be there and support him but he just sees me as part of the contaminated area which has turned his love for me into nothing. I just hope when he does return home and realises things aren't going to get better that he will go for the help he so desperately needs.