Seeking email based professional support, realistic?

[Shandra]

Hi everyone

I live with my partner and he suffers from pretty severe OCD and anxiety, which has been getting steadily worse for the last decade. By this point we have no friends or family we can share the burden with so the problem has become very insular and we're very isolated. 

The anxiety / OCD touches most areas of our life but specifically risks his health and I am struggling to know how to cope with what is being asked of me through of pushing him to deal with too much by me refusing to do what is being asked. Our relationship is also deteriorating as time goes on due to me seemingly making things worse and so there is a real lack of trust on his part.

So I'm really at a stage where I would like to speak to a counsellor / therapist to help guide me through towards the right things to do. Visiting one or even speaking by phone would not be possible under these circumstances, so I'm really looking for email based support.

Does anyone have experience with this? Is it realistic for me to expect adequate support this way?

I am really at the end of my rope coping with this and seeing him get worse every day is killing me - even if I wanted to I cannot leave. I really want to be an asset to their recovery but I think lack the support I have or conviction in the decisions I am making is stopping me being able to be. 

[Gemma@OCDUK]

Hi Shandra

It sounds like your partner is really struggling at the moment and that must be hard on you both. Has he tried to access any help himself for OCD? In some cases when a person with OCD is having therapy, their loved ones can be included so that they can build strategies to tackle OCD together. Doing things together can also help to prevent any conflict that might come about if a loved one no longer wants to do OCD compulsions. It can be a long process, but OCD is a highly treatable condition with the right help

We do have a couple of great presentations on helping a loved one with OCD from our conference. There is this one by Dr Lauren Callaghan https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/family/helping-family-member-with-ocd/ and this one by Prof Mark Freeston https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/main/understanding-why-people-with-ocd-do-what-they-do/ Lauren also wrote a book that the presentation is based on called How Can I Help? which you might find helpful too.

Gemma

[Shandra]

Thanks for the reply. I have raised the topic of seeing a therapist on countless occasions over the years but he has always rejected the idea, it's now a subject that risks causing a panic attack just by mentioning it. When we talk about the distant future he seems accepting that it'll be need to happen, but not currently.

Thank you for the links as well.