Incredibly overwhelmed

[sunflowersea]

I’m having an anxious time today - there has been covid in the house (not me or my Mum). It’s over now, so it’s the big ‘clean up’ weekend. Like I have had to come and sit outside whilst my dear Mum is cleaning because all of their stuff is coming through in bin bags albeit straight into the washing machine swiftly but I’m back in ‘everything is dangerous from potential covid spores’. It’s been wayyy over the contagious & isolation period so I know that’s okay but there is little information on how long the virus stays on fabrics.

Also my ocd contamination wise has massively regressed since this all happened so even after everything is done I just know I’m going to not be ok and really in the grips of compulsions - still wearing a mask in the house, washing hands after touching anything, cleaning bathroom before I shower etc. it’s just so horrendous. Like I know if I touch anything even in my own bedroom I’m gonna be triggered. I need to wash & clean everything in my room so that I feel able to go and sleep back in there and then I know I’ll need a shower tonight to clean all the ‘germs’ off me but I just feel so overwhelmed

And this has not made me any less scared about Covid. It’s made me wayyyy more scared. I’m living in my nightmare and don’t know how to cope.

[Bismah OCD-UK Volunteer]

Hi Sunflowersea,

I know it’s been a couple of weeks since you’ve posted this but I just wanted to know how you’re getting on?

I can understand how frightening and exhausting it can be when you feel like you’re consumed by OCD but you can get through this. Are you speaking to a professional about this? It’s important that you find someone who understands OCD and uses ERP.

For example, you say you wear a mask at home but you don’t actually need to in the house. It’s important you slowly stop wearing it and expose yourself to your anxiety. When you follow everything OCD says then it will feel exhausting as you’re taking extra precautions to stay safe but you need to be able to tolerate uncertainty. This is an important step to overcome OCD. 

Bismah

[NR12]

I just wanted to say I really feel for you and totally know the feeling. It can be so hard on those overwhelming days and I hope things have eased since for you 

[sunflowersea]

@Bismah OCD-UK Volunteer@NR12thank you for your kind replies. It’s been super tough, especially as it’s triggered a relapse with my contamination OCD. I have posted another topic about my current feelings