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Sure - been there and OCD certainly contributed to it breaking down.

People with OCD marry & they post.

OCD is brought on by stress. It's good to have a coping mechanism besides compulsions. Art, writing, biking etc.. Are you into those? Or?

Some CDs that are burnt ie. not shop bought (manufactured) music CDs don’t work in every CD player. So you might get them working in a different hi-fi or computer drive.

Hi I’ve been suffering with OCD for a while. Recently I’ve manifested a fear of unintentionally emotionally harming someone who was younger than me online (I used to stream video games and had a community, and this person was in the community) because they developed a bit of a parasocial crush on me and I didn’t really know what to do with it (I never acted on it, was not at all interested and actively encouraged them to try and get over it). My OCD is making me worry that they feel like because I was older I should have done more and that I shouldn’t have been letting them talk to me. I do agree now, but at the time I was a young adult myself and spoke to lots of people within my community as it was normal to do so. I’m still friends with a lot of them. I guess the fear is again manifesting as one day I’m going to be called out or “cancelled” and people are going to think I’m inappropriate with minors (I do not interact with them online at all anymore, or in real life unless I have to, I don’t even like children!!) so it’s silly. I think my OCD is starting up again because I am going through a lot of change right now - I’m starting a new job soon and lots of new things are happening. I’m also on my period so that sometimes exacerbates things. I don’t even really know what I’m looking for here, I guess just somewhere to vent. It’s rough and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Thanks, I guess words of comfort or affirmation would help. I’m trying not to ruminate too much because once again I’m aware this is just another flare up and it’s going to be okay, my anxiety is just sky high right now

Thank you Howard. Very kind of you to reply. That has made me feel slightly better - appreciate it.

Welcome to the group!

You can watch reels on YouTube about it.

Thank you I try but it just keeps coming back at me

nape > snap

I think it's common for people with ocd and ASD to feel like they are a bit different in their thinking and maybe feel alone at times. I think people sometimes try to hide it to some degree, others are maybe able to compromise, but other people who really love you will see a whole person and accept you for who you are. Most people have got some sort of mental health issues, humans are complex beings living in a demanding world, it's inevitable. As you feel better and work on your self esteem you'll start to see that you are much like everyone else, managing their mental health themselves. So another person might not see your effort but that doesn't matter if they love and support you and you them.

@howard yes I'm constantly monitoring myself. I barely move outside the house, don't sit close to people, always looking around me if I do go outside. I worry about touching anyone, not just children.

I would try to look below the theme. Why do you imagine you aren't in control of yourself, your actions,....... when you are. Is it possible that your anxiety about harm coming to children is making you over compensate, over worry to the point where you are monitoring yourself. Fearing that you will lose control, or imagining that you have but it's just the anxiety altering your perceptions of events.

"What if" is the typical question from OCD that gets you hooked. Real knowledge don't make a lot of doubts, you know. Obsessional doubt has no real answers because they are created in your imagination. If you feed your "what if's" by trying to solve them you get stuck. The only way out, is to drop them from the beginning. This is so easy to see when it's not your own obsessional topic.

We've found stuff we didn't know we had, and found stuff we haven't seen for years!!!!

Had OCD a long time but relapsed over the last few years. Gradually getting back on my feet but often feel very alone and different from everybody else. Especially as it transpires I may have ASD too. As I do my therapy and gradually get better I still can’t help but think I’m unloveable. I’m always going to be different, even as my OCD improves. How can anyone without OCD realise how much effort it takes me to do stuff other people take for granted?

@howard I don't know why this is my theme, I've had most of them. @Christina what if it's not just a thought. I'm worried I'm moving or have moved in order to inappropriately touch people.

It's difficult to understand the waiting time is long

You are entrtaining your OCD by all your compulsions. The rumination, analyzing, checking - your brain thinks this is important when you should just notice the thought and move on with your day.

Babble for 11 July Hi everyone... How are you coping with the heat? In the UK it is getting unbearable! Well! We are a bit further on with moving everything. Chemicals in the old garage... Most items have labels on... I don't have any old weedkillers or anything nasty like that. Many years ago, as part of my rehabilitation from mental breakdown the first time, I worked in a hospital as a gardener. A lovely cottage hospital with lovely grounds, and very old sheds... Very old sheds... Stuff that was banned many years ago, like Paraquat and DDT... We weren't allowed to touch it as it was industrial scale, lots of it. We had to have it removed by a specialist contractor... This was the early 1990's. They turned up in jeans tee shirt and plimsoles!!! No protective clothing whatsoever! I never found if he survived! We had gallons of the stuff! Concentrates of industrial weedkillers too! Thankfully none of this stuff was allowed for domestic use, so no, we won't even find traces of it today, even in the workplace. The bloke had a trailer behind his car! I don't think he even washed his hands! Needless to say, the hospital was beautiful, with stripes on the lawns etc. A real nice place to work... Me 1 OCD 0! I use a small battery lawn mower now. The technology has improved rechargeable batteries immensly. Do you do the lawn? The smell of new mown grass is real nice, and people pick up dog mess now. Do you have a dog or cat? They don't worry do they? And what they use their tongues for is interesting. But, as they live with you, you have already built up your own immunity anyway. You are protected! Just as you are to your natural home environment. Tell OCD to back off for an hour! Just one hour. Whatever it is... Just one hour. One of the things I do as a grandparent, is to take part in some of the things that happen at our grandchildren's school. It is known as a 'colour run'. It involves running around the sports field running track, whilst teachers throw dry water colour paint dust at us. We come home covered in paint dust in luminous colours! We walk through the streets after, going home for a nice shower. The locals love it! And so do I. We assume that it is safe, cos they would have had multiple meetings around health and safety. It just washes off... Do we breathe it in? Well, perhaps a bit, but not much. It is thrown at our lower body, not the face. Great fun! It should set off my OCD, but, as everyone else is doing it, then why shouldn't I? Fab bright colours! So... As regards our OCD... Is everyone else doing it? Are they looking worried? Should we be? Why? We check the door just once... We know we have... And yet, the urge to check just once gets so we need to check again 'Just once to make sure'. That urge continues to grow, until we draw the metaphorical line in the sand and stop... Something we seem to get a lot of at home is flies... I open the window to let one out ten more fly in! Are they dangerous? Well, I really don't know. We are going to get one of those things they have in shops... A big one... We all well know that flies also land on unmentionables, as well as everything in the home. I worry a bit, but having said that, maybe I already have resistance? And therefore so do you? It's easier than trying to fill every room in the house with vapour. We don't need to be breathing the vapour and getting a sore throat in the bargain. We breathe stuff all of the time, since the day we were born. Now I was born in the 1950's, long before health and safety rules came into being. Just out of interest... Does anyone know of a deterrent for wasps? Myself and my siblings would have been dusted with baby powder... A certain greedy solicitor is now trying to link it with asbestos... And yet, we are all here to tell the tale. The lead in the paint didn't kill me... Nor did the weird fly sprays we had then... We didn't have body scanners... We barely knew about mouth to mouth resuscitation. Birds pecked the tops of milk bottles, and Fish and chips was served on old newspapers that were donated to the fish shop by members of the public... We never thought about it!!! And we are still here to tel the tale. So... The next time your CBT therapist suggests something gross, just do it anyway... You will both survive! What shall we do for a challenge/task this week? Let's shake hands with someone... Literally, Shake hands with someone. Don't wonder what is on their hands, or indeed yours... Just shake hands with just one person ready for next week. I guess that, once you have done it the once, you will feel the urge to do it again... Tryt it! You just might like it... I did! And I'm still here to tell the tale... How did you get on with the library? Before Covid the books were just books... Now they are wrapped in plastic jackets... Totally ruining the feel of the book. It is nicer than reading a page on a computer screen, isn't it? Let's carry on with the smile grabbing. I've just moved to a new area where there are lot's of dog walkers... No shortage of smile grabbing opportunities there! Finally, I've plumbed in a washing machine! I hope it works... Well I've got the pipes on tight. I think.... Yes, they should be okay... It is all new pipework on the drain... Are my hands okay? I really don't know... I think so... I risked it... I'm not the only one with grubby hands... I have to sit this one out... We desperately need a washing machine... Okay... I will if you will... Don't forget to shake hands with someone this week! Until next week then... 18/07/2025 at about 19.00hrs UK time. Terry 123

Have you talked to a therapist about this obsession? and if so how do you understand it. Would you say that you are very concerned about harm coming to children in any way and that your anxiety about this drives your obsession and compulsions. From an objective point of view> it sounds like your anxiety is making you imagine all sorts of senarios in which you imagine you aren't in control. But you are in control as you waited until she passed and you were polite to her. All your imaginings and compulsions are because you are concerned for the welfare of others. I don't think you 'hate that kid' but just your over worrying and in reality she's probably pretty oblivious to you, just going about her day.

fTo be honest, I didn't relapse as such, but as each group of sessions was only twelve, we just didn't cover as much stuff as we should have. It was a years wait for each... I got the gist of stuff, but it was a long wait to try and do stuff. Also, with my therapist we didn't do a lot of the tasks together. I read a lot around the subject in between sessions. This was all about fifteen years ago. I had sessions recorded onto CD. I found a couple of the discs, but they don't work anymore. I have remembered a lot of it, so continue to do ERP tasks on my own.... Terry 123

I’ve just joined the forum and want to introduce myself and express how OCD affects me. I’m in my late thirties and I have formally diagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder and ADHD. I also have a formal diagnosis of, in the words of my psychiatrist, “textbook OCD”. I live at home with my parents and siblings, increasingly common in the current socio-economic climate so I understand. My OCD focussed particularly on cleanliness in childhood but less so in layer years, but the biggest problems I have surround religious scrupulosity, doubt and most importantly my sexuality. I was brought up in a family with very conservative religious and moral values, and I have recently come to the realisation that I’m gay. I retain my faith which is a source of strength and comfort to me and also an important shared characteristic with my family. Nevertheless, my strong religious upbringing, combined with then undiagnosed autism is certainly an aggravating factor in my OCD experience. I didn’t really have a normal sexual development as I repressed even the slightest of sexual feelings for fear of divine retribution. Adding to this a couple of early sexual experiences with other preteens that weren’t handled well by the adults in my life, and my budding feelings of attraction to my same-sex peers I ended up with a major neurosis that now manifests as irrational fears that even the most innocuous thoughts are evidence of a paraphilia, usually pedophilia but I worry about inappropriate sexual behaviour with anyone or anything. Simply blaming or “bashing” religion is not helpful so that’s not what I’m looking for here. What I’m hoping to get from the support forum is insight into my mental behaviour and sharing experiences with others who similarly suffer with the debilitating illness that is OCD. By the way, I've had psychodynamic, cognitive behavioural and autism-focussed EMDR therapy over the years, all of which have been beneficial in their own way.

To be fair, if children were included, it would be on the conscience of the person in the photo... Terry 123

Random question is there anyone out there who has had a relapse during erp