oetegenn1976

I am totally losing it....I just don't know what to do or how to feel anymore! I am in total agony emotionally and mentally. My brother in law passed away on the 10th February and it was my son's twelfth birthday and we were all celebrating at a fun place, I didnt for the life of me know that he was going to suddenly die in the car park! I am heart broken and so depressed that I'm not functioning at all, god knows how my sister is feeling! I know I'm grieving and I know I will be for some time. I'm just hurting so bad and my OCD is not helping at all. I keep having horrible irrational thoughts regarding life and death, I am also so scared to see people in case something bad happens to them too. My mind is just thinking silly thoughts all the time and I'm scared I'm going crazy. I've been having panic attacks cos I'm frighted that I might die like he did. I feel so out of control cos I know I can't control this. I'm just so scared with how I'm feeling and ocd isn't helping me heal. Whilst typing this I can feel my anxiety rising! I just can't cope at all. He was only 46 years old..... I'm devastated x

Anybody....Please help my anxiety is through the roof. Just need guidance and advice on how to switch off! Jo

I have had this fear for around 10 years when a work colleague passed away from the disease. In them 10 years I have had bloating, backache, left sided lower ab pain, and coloured discharge. It always been in the back of my mind, the worry, the fear etc....what if? Last weekend, I became really unwell in which I had the runs and nausea, my belly was very bloated and uncomfortable and have really bad backache. I'm just starting to feel better, but still feel weak, still have back pain and still have ab pain. Then I'm sorry I googled and yes symptoms are the same and they went on about stages.....now from Saturday when i was I'll, I keep thinking that I am wriggled with cancer and that's it! I am so scared. In the passed I've had for the same problem an ultrasound scan of my reproduction system, and this said my ovaries where normal etc and that their was a small polyp in my womb, this was 5 years ago! ? I'm only 42..... I am awaiting blood results at min and so scared. Maybe I am reassurance seeking, but I'm just scared. Everyone keeps telling me to stop worrying, but I can't! NOT when I'm still I'll and still having symptoms. Please help.... Jo

Thanks much appreciated x still feel like I'm losing my mind or something. Just taken Imodium, asked pharmacy if i can with sertraline and she said yes, but on Google it says no.... so now my nerves are shot to bits with that now, proper panicking.

I'm at my wits end right now, over the weekend I have had a stomach bug that has knocked me for 6. Although I feel a little bit better than I did, I'm still feeling sick and have the runs. I know it's a stomach bug but why is my head twisting it around. I'm terrified its something else, I'm terrified I'm going to die, I feel absolutely out of control, I feel like I'm going mad and need to be locked up, all because of this stupid stomach bug! I know the thoughts are irrational, but my anxiety is absolutely through the roof, I need to calm down but just can't seem to switch off at all. I'm on sertraline 150mg, not sure if thats in my system now! I'm just wanting to talk to someone, who might be similar. I dont even know if it is a stomach bug and me just flipping out....I have no idea anymore, but I really want to get over it. And my ocd is just latching on to the symptoms I'm feeling and the what ifs and making me and my health worse. Please I just need a hug and chat to x Feel like crying! Jo

I haven't been on here for years, but having a really low time at the min. Just feel like everything is on my shoulders! And I have to act like I am strong, in front of my children if though i feel terrible inside. Been feeling like this since just after xmas, not one for xmas and new year but its the joyous month and so have to get on with the festivities. I usually like xmas but 8 years ago, I know in the passed.... I felt really I'll with a chest infection, thought i was going to die and ocd and depression got the best of me, so now everytime xmas comes, I feel scared of becoming like that again. And obviously I do cos I dwell on it, even though not as bad! But still feel crappy. Then January, hate new years eve, hate new year! Hate January, skint....dark, miserable days. Wish i didn't feel like this as new year, new start! Then I have 1001 things all on my mind from reducing my hours at work drastically from fulltime to lunchtime duty. All because I didn't get on with a girl at work and she made me feel ****. I feel paranoid, thinking colleagues talk about me, and I just feel not good enough for anything, reducing my hours is making me feel like I've let myself down and that money is now going to be an issue and I'm so scared. I've been waking up feeling anxious and my IBS is really playing havoc too. Just feeling fed up. I'm determined to get well again, I've got some D3 vits and B12 vits and also bought a SAD lamp on top of already taking 150mg of sertraline. So hopefully may feel better soon, and I've also asked my boss to refer me for counselling, but this wont be till February. I just feel like I needed to chat to someone. Really hate feeling like this, been really depressed before and really don't want to go down that spiral again. My OCD is playing up with my head, putting some really terrible thoughts in my head and I know I won't act on them, but way I'm feeling I'm scared. I know I'm probably reassurance seeking and its probably just stress with everything that's making it worse, but just need to get it out there x Thanks for reading and listening x Jo

Thank you x reading these messages has made me cry again! Happy tears, tears of relief for her..... Thank you, i guess it will take time xx

Thank you, i am trying x my ocd is really playing up though, thinking did i do the right thing etc. Also with seeing my dog pass, i realise how much a fine line between life and death, its brought back my thoughts about death etc and i feel real low with this, i keep reasurring myself that death isnt that bad and its all part of the life cycle, and death in some cases can bring peace to suffering! But i am so scared of death and dying and now I'm worrying. My anxiety is through the roof! I just want this to pass and get on with life but just cant stop thinking about her, and now shes gone x

Thank you everyone, everytime i cry, my hubby rolls his eyes, like here we go again. It was his beloved Pet too, and cried when we put her to sleep, but now hes carrying on like nothing has happened whereas I'm remembering everything. Cant get over how last week she was jumping on sofas and nicking food, until Monday when she deteriorated quite quickly by not being able to walk and not eating or drinking.... The worse thing is, I'm never going to see that beautiful face again.

Can anyone reply.....i feel so alone and need someone to talk too.

Please help me, I'm really struggling at the min, my poor dog had to be put to sleep yesterday as she became really weak, and just didnt want to be around anymore. Its like her eyes were telling me that it was time! She was my baby and i miss her terribly, cant get her out of my head and especially the time she passed, was heartbreaking. She was a good age at 16 1/2 years, but doesnt seem that long ago she was bouncing about chasing swallows..... I'm frightened that my ocd will become worse now that i am grieving, and I'm scared I'm not going to cope. My thoughts are playing with me now, saying my dog is alone and no one there to look after her and this terrifies me. And my minds thinking of stupid thoughts about death etc so i can look after her, but obviously this is ocd and i know that, but its depressing, thinking such things.....i'd like to believe my baby is with my grandma and other family members and other pets... But these depressing thoughts arnt letting me, whats worse is i have another dog that is 18 years and will have to relive all this pain again! I cant let ocd ruin my grieving process as i have two children to look after, so need to get thoughts of death and my dog being alone out of my head, but obviously ocd will latch on to this..... So hard, please help x I cant believe I'm not going to see my cute pooch anymore, I'm so scared and sad :'(

A couple of hours ago, i stood on a nail outside it went straight through my shoe, i felt sick and horrible. My anxiety is through the roof, and i was googling etc and so went to minor injuries. They looked at it and dressed it, but now i feel like i cant breathe and my chest feels tight..... I know its probably anxiety with whats happened, but cant stop thinking of other things it could be! Please help x Thanks

I am really funny about taking medication and everytime I'm given something, I question it and research etc which does nothing! I've got a throat infection and had to go to a walk in centre as my docs were fully booked, and he's prescribed me amoxcillin. Just want to know if its ok to take, I'm sure I've taken it before as I've been on sertraline for 10 years, but still plays on my mind. Thanks

Thanks Cupcake4 x

I left work and went straight to shops to get a few things in, and there was a child kicking me in his pushchair, this doesn't usually bother me as I have two kids myself, but all of a sudden I got this overwhelming urge to shout out.....you little b! And totally fly off the handle! This then made me feel really anxious as if I wanted to run out of the shop and go mad! Of course I never shouted, cos thats not me and I know ocd can make you feel urges like this! But I just keep having mad panic attacks thinking I need hospitalisation.... Again thinking such things are terrifying me. I know I shouldn't be reassurance seeking, but my anxiety is so bad I feel sick and feel like I'm losing my mind.... Please help x

Thanks for the replies guy, means alot. I also forgot to mention that I have a sinus infection and also chesty, I know this is nothing as its going around this time of year! But I do suffer with health anxiety and when I'm ill, I always seem to fear the worst, which doesn't help at all, just makes me feel worse! I feel like I can't breathe, and this scares me, my chest hurts, thinking I have a heart condition or blood clot! Which I have had a blood clot in the past and this has made my health anxiety worse! And my head feels like its going to explode and frightened it maybe something else, which I know its just the cold, but my ocd is really playing on this.......

Dont know whats causing me to feel like this, i mean I do feel like this most of thr time, but its manageable, whereas now it isn't and I feel scared and overwhelmed! It could be due to Xmas snd the upheaval of it all and having to put fronts on.....or maybe I'm scared of becoming too happy and something bad happening, which always gets me! I dont know. But wish it would bog off and just let me be! Any ideas welcome to point me in the right direction of what I need to do to get out of feeling like this? Thanks Jo

I'm feeling really pants with this cold and chesty cough, and I hate being ill, I do suffer with health anxiety. Although I think my ocd is running riot with the way I'm currently feeling, I feel on edge, low and just so frightened but dont know why! Its Xmas soon and I felt like this about 6 years ago and became depressed, really dont want to go back down that road, any ideas to get me out of this low, even though I am ill.

I went to chemist and asked if I could take anything, as I am in so much pain with my sinuses, he said no just paracetamol! Hate being on sertraline, cant seem to take anything.

I've recently got the dreaded lurgy and feel absolutely pants! And was wondering can I take cold and flu meds while on sertraline? I know there are some meds that can interact, and I've just googled and it said that some cold and flu meds can react very badly, even fatal with sertraline syndrome! This has really scared me now, as I really want to be well for Xmas. Anyone any ideas, paracetamol isn't touching the symptoms at all..... Thanks Jo

Thank you for the reply, much appreciated x

Just lately I've been tossing and turning throughout the night having poor sleep, I feel like I've got 101 things on my mind, my mind feels completely foggy and cotton wool like. And in the mornings for the past few days I have been waking up anxious and literally dread going to work! I only work as a dinner lady..... And now I've been having horrible images probably ocd related of suicide, like taking a knife to my wrist, taking tablets, tying a cord around my neck......its totally crazy and nuts and I seriously dont want too, and I won't but the images I get are so awful and just make me feel so down and low. I'm on sertraline 150mg been on it for 9 years, at first it was a wonder drug now I just feel like its just not working like my body's got used to it! I am due to start soon too and could possibly be a touch of Pmt...... but these images I have are horrible, please help.....I know I'm probably reassurance seeking, but think anyone would with the images I get! I'm also a mother of two and my hubby works away all week, so feel quite alone.

Thank you, yes it was the new series, very disturbing! I'm sure Rick, will get evengence ? But yeah sadly the images are like on replay mode.....does my head in this ocd, told my hubby and he just laughed! Hopefully like you say, it'll bog off soon, until I see the next episode ?

It is Ocd that keeps me having replay mode from scenes of walking dead? all I keep seeing is the horrible, brutal images of what happened and cant stop having these images, I love walking dead, but when such violence occurs my brain sticks to it! so I know its not the answer, but think I may have to avoid such violence and not watch it anymore! Cant sleep for the images are so real! like ob replay.....hope it goes away, dont like this at all. Any ideas on how to stop a sticky brain? Thanks......

Glad you put this as yes ocd has no logic! I too have had tgis feeling and its scary, but being scared just makes the ocd more intrusive..... yesterday I had exactly the same thing, and I was really anxious knowing that it was silly what I was thinking and I started to obsess, and analyse the logic but there wasn't, I thought I was going mad! I then started reassurance seeking, telling my hubby what I imagined and was thinking.....but that didn't help really, I then texted my friend and then heard them words, you'll be alright! And I felt a little better.... Thing is afterwards I saw the pattern of the cbt circle and realised I need to stop such things. The thought was a simple pop up, that took over! This then caused anxiety and fear! This then gave me the compulsion to seek reassurance! What we really need to learn is not to get to the compulsion stage and try and overcome this by using positive thoughts in place and distraction. Hope this has helped, but your definitely not alone x