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  1. My hubby knows what my stresses are, its all due to waiting for a 2ww that I've been referred too. And I'm going out of my mind, because I suffer with health anxiety and keep thinking the worst case scenario.
  2. Just wondering if its at all normal to not want to be near your children or partner when your extremely stressed and anxious. I had a really bad day today, and as I got the kids home from school and was tidying up and doing tea, whilst also feeling like absolute ****, cos of the stress I'm under at the min. I felt really anxious with my kids and hubby like I didnt want to be with them..... I love them all and obviously feeling this way made me even worse! I actually broke down to my hubby and said I need to go to my mums and stay there, he was really supportive, so here I am at my mums sleeping over, and dont feel anxious at all....until tomorrow again probably. Can OCD make you feel like you dont want to be with loved ones! I feel guilty. But also think i needed the break!
  3. I'm feeling really bad with worry today, just waiting for that appointment is doing my head in....i just cant stop thinking the worst. And i know its not helping and its not going to change anything but it just wont go....
  4. And can I also add, you were young and you were both intrigued and learning, which is totally normal.... So i would worry about it. I've done many things as I was growing up and I still remember them..... But its just kids being kids and being inquisitive.
  5. I have been under alot of pressure lately since January, and things seem to not be getting any better. I am trying my best to be positive but my ocd has gone in to overdrive and other ideas. I've just found out my nephew also has a two week wait, and hes alot younger than me.... thing is when I found this out I was shocked but also relieved that hes getting seen too and also because I feel like I'm not alone in this worrying game, although he's not worrying he's really laid back and couldn't care less. Now I am aware of what I have felt and I feel bad to the point that my OCD is making me out to be a monster! I am not a monster, i am just so stressed and just want this year to be ok....i dont want any more stresses! I hope me and my nephew are absolutely fine and then we can both chill.... Why is my OCD being so critical its making me feel really low and depressed and I hate it. I left my sisters feeling a little bit happier and optimistic because i was distracted and we had a laugh, now my ocd is running wild saying I'm evil etc etc. I just can't win! Please advise on this and how to stop these critical thoughts. I want the best for my nephew, bloody heck i love him....I just felt relieved that I'm not alone, is that bad? Please help me 😭
  6. As if my year can get any better! I went to doctors regarding my bloods, i actually broke down in the doctors telling them I suffer with health anxiety and that I was worried about my blood results. Well anyways they've now sent me for a two week wait for colorectal cancer! Thats really going to help my mental health! She informed me that it is nothing to worry about and that its just trying to rule things out because I have had anaemia for a long time, and apparently its just precautionary. I'm trying to remain calm etc, but my thoughts are getting in the way. I feel tired and lack energy, and all I can think of is that I'm riddled with it.....And its too late. I know thats silly, but my mind just wont stop! I am so scared.....
  7. In January some of you may know, that I had a really bad tummy upset, had some bloods done and Dr rang and told me I my CA125 was raised at 47. This really sparked my health anxiety and I felt so ill, I went for ultrasound scan and that was fine. In the February I lost my brother Inlaw, aged 46 and 5 weeks later my dad.... My health anxiety is through the roof! Recently I was told by my GP that my bloods I had done in January not just the CA125 was raised....She said my CRP was raised and My red cells were low and my white cells were raised! So I had to have a further repeat tests. I feel **** all the time, out of breath, weak just proper crappy all the time. Which sparks more anxiety. I had these tests done two weeks ago and decided to ring them this morning as my anxiety is really not helping. The receptionist said my chest xray was normal, but my bloods were raised and low! And I have to discuss with the Dr. My anxiety was that bad this morning that again I called the doctors and asked if a doctor could ring me back to talk through the results cos I am worried. The receptionist said she cant as she is busy, so i said does the bloods look like i need to worry....All she said was it looks like your anaemic and need meds, and that I shouldn't worry. I've been googling all kinds of blood cancers and I am terrified and convinced myself that I have something seriously wrong with me, why else would I feel so ****! I am so scared and everyone is fed up of me talking about this, so I thought I'll post on here. How can I stop thinking the worst case scenario with my health, why do i always jump to conclusions. Please help, Im totally freaking out!
  8. Just really aware of my anxiety feelings, everything feels overwhelming, I'm trying to do things around the house and distract myself but still there, i want to cry.....hate feeling like this, was fine yesterday until it all happened.
  9. Yesterday I was absolutely fine, cleaned the house, took my daughter to pictures, then whilst at pictures, my mouth started to feel numb and my top lip was starting to swell. I suffer really bad with health anxiety, so obviously my thoughts went through the roof, I'm having an allergic reaction and it'll get worse, then I'll die due to not being able to breathe! This is how i think.... Anyways I stuck the pictures out, cos dont want my daughter to lose out on me being irrational, but the whole time i felt absolutely shocking, needing the loo numerous times etc. Thing is, this was yesterday, and now I'm aware of my anxieties and the feelings I'm having, again all health related. Hate feeling like this, but got myself in such a stew yesterday that I cant shake it off now. As for the lip, I'm just thinking its a cold sore, which I have never had one and this is triggering me too cos I keep thinking why have I got one now, why am I run down etc etc.... Any helpful hints on how to get out of this rut, that ive dug for myself? I know it'll pass, but obviously my ocd is saying I'm going to feel like this forever! Thanks for reading.....I know its long, just wanting to share it out there, probably reassurance seeking too! 🙄
  10. Just been to cinema to try and keep living a normal life, and just got this overwhelming feeling that life isn't the same cos they have both gone.... feel like I'm going crazy with fear, all sorts of emotions. Really don't like this feeling at all.
  11. It has been only 5 weeks since my brother in law died, still in shock that he's gone and not coming back.... OCD raised its ugly head and although it's been tough, even though I was totally shocked of the sudden death of Chris, I started to see a glimpse of light and things were starting to get gradually normal. Now I am back to square one, my poor dad passed away last week, 5 weeks after Chris! We have to all go through the funeral process and the grieving onto of grieving yet again. I cant seem to cry, as all my tears were gone from Chris. But I miss my dad terribly, I know he's no longer suffering as he had years of health problems after problems and in the end it caught up with him. But it's just so hard and so soon..... my OCD is obviously playing on this again with health anxiety my mind is all foggy and feels like cotton wool, convinced it's a tumour or aneurysm.....probably just the mind protecting itself from more trauma! My chest and arm ache, convinced it's a blood clot or heart attack, probably just stress and cos I'm so tensed! Have a chest cough that I've had on and off for years nothings different, concerned its lung cancer or sumin! Its probably just the same I've always had just magnified! Scared I'm going mad..... As what upstairs and had images of killing my mum! Which why would I? Obviously OCD is loving this trauma and gripping on to it! It wont bloody win though! I'm just so fed up of this year, it's one thing after another.
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