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oetegenn1976

Bulletin Board User
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Hull

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  1. I'm seeing a cbt therapist who's going to help me with grief and health anxiety
  2. None of my thoughts are helping....it just all came when my brother in law died, I still can't believe he's gone...it's just a huge shock, he was only 46, I'm 42. He was fine in the morning then gone in the afternoon, it's just weird. Ever since that day, I've been panicking about my life and questioning when will I? I'm absolutely terrified and feel I'm not coping at all with his death. I just want to be better, but even writing this I'm having pains and thinking I might die of a broken heart! Jo
  3. Since my brother in law passed 3 weeks ago my anxiety, ocd and everything else has been through the roof. I'm terrified of death and dying, I'm frightened of doing anything thats fun in case I tempt fate. I'm scared of illness and I'm certainly scared of my mental health and were its going. For these last 3 weeks I feel so tense, that I'm so frightened that my heart cant take it and I will die. I'm getting my bathroom done and frightened I may die.... I'm frightened that I might be next and it's freaking me out! I am so scared and want to be normal again. Jo
  4. That's the thing, I'm just constantly worrying, giving meaning to these thoughts and want them to go.....but their just stuck there, because I believe them. How can i get my life back without worrying and obsessing about the inevitable.
  5. I am just so scared that if i start acting normal, and dismissing the thoughts and getting on with my life and enjoying life that I'm tempting fate!
  6. I have had enough of these thoughts now, I had these these obsessive thoughts and worries for nearly a month, since my brother in law passed away. I am so scared that I am never going to get these thoughts put of my head and that my life will just be me worrying and over thinking too much....when all I want to do is live, without such morbid thoughts. I keep worrying about my time, keep thinking about people walking around thinking they don't know when etc. It's totally doing my head in. I was fine before he died and now I just feel like I'm going nuts. I am having cbt on health anxiety, but is there anything else I can do to rid these thoughts and not let them bother me. I keep trying to be rational about it, that no one knows etc but still scared, still frightened and it's just basically all I think about from the moment I wake up till I go to bed....I am wasting my life with obsessing. Please give me some advice or whatever else I need x Jo
  7. Also because I've been in so much stress lately, my ocd is really bad. I've been real bad with anxiety and worry. But yesterday and today I feel ok and I feel I am getting better slowly, although I feel like I'm always constantly on the scan for worries and anxieties and triggers, why does ocd do this?
  8. I think this is ocd or I hope it's ocd playing up.....but I'm having really disturbing images in my head of dead people! It's horrible I know I should distract myself. But it's so difficult. I'm terrified of death and dying, health anxiety etc, and I know I cannot live life like this as its inevitable. As some of you know my brother in law died 3 weeks ago now, miss him dearly. My sister has been visiting him whilst in the chapel of rest and said he looked amazing when she first saw him, but obviously it's 3 weeks now and she advised me not to see him cos of my ocd and that he has a veil cos his colour is changing and his fingers are beginning to go thinner. Now my ocd is playing up, thinking of horrible images of the body decomposing etc. Because they'vetold me these things. I know it's a body and nothing last forever, but he's not a body he's my brother in law, and its hurting me thinking this way and having images like this. Can anyone advise on how to get these thoughts from my head so I can move on and think about the happy health Chris and not horrid things like this.
  9. Can't stop worrying about silly things, my health anxiety is playing up too, keep having pains in my left arm and convinced I'm having an heart attack! Due to all the stress I'm under. Just so scared and cant stop worrying.
  10. I really need to speak to someone with how I'm feeling, so much has happened in a short space of time and I'm finding it really hard to cope. I'm on sertraline 150mg which I've been on for 11 years and I'm having cbt on the 3rd. I just keep crying, I'm not enjoying my food and every little task just feels difficult. I have two kids , I'm just finding it so hard at the minute, any advice on how to get out of this? I'm also grieving too x
  11. I'm so scared my bloods came back with elevated ca125 levels and now need ultrasound. This is my worst fear ever ????
  12. My anxiety is through the roof at the min, I've lost my brother in law to a sudden heart attack, so I'm grieving and now had blood tests back, in which the doctor rang me and said my ca125 levels are raised and need to have an ultrasound. I'm not dealing with this at all, my stomach is in bits and have the runs again cos I'm worried about the what ifs! OCD is certainly not helping at the minute either. I'm so scared, how can i possibly stop worrying and start relaxing with all this going on? Jo
  13. Thank you so much for reply, my ocd is messing with me again....as the doctor rang me and told me the blood test I had done last week as come back raised and need an ultrasound. It's one thing after another. My anxiety is through the roof and I'm so scared its ovarian cancer as my ca125 levels are raised! I hate this year....
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