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GreyCat

OCD-UK Member
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About GreyCat

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    Sufferer

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    Female

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  1. Hello Lucy, Yes, I made the same experience. I have it in 2 ways, when my OCD (mainly checking, magical thinking) is very severe my memory is awful. I think (just my personal opinion) that my brain is so focused on the checking and my anxiety is so bad that my brain just cannot process anything else so nothing gets "registered" in the brain. And the second way is that I start to worry then and constantly compare my memory with the memory of others and with my memory of a few years ago. And the more I focus on it the worse it becomes or better the more I notice all the inadequacies. Sorry for the clumsy words - English is not my mother tongue and I've an issue with typing/checking as well. Unfortunately I don't have any advice. I only try to let it go, not to think about it and accept it that I sometimes can't remember anything especially when my brain is on "high-alert" and constantly scanning my environment. When learning my brain often got locked. I don't know if it's the same for you but when I learned for example history I chose a random date which I wanted to remember by any means (it of course did not work) and I was so focused on remembering this date that all the other information I tried to learn in let's say an hour did not register at all. So I did neither remember the date nor anything else I read in this hour. I don't know how much of it is OCD itself or just due to the anxiety caused by OCD. I'm really sorry that I can't give a good advice but I wanted to send this answer anyway so that you know that you're not alone.
  2. Thank you very much for putting the order on hold. I wish I could give back more since the people on this forum are helping me really so much. I've an issue with typing (or rather checking what I wrote) so I cannot contribute a lot so I hope that I can at least give a tiny little bit back by buying the cards and with the donation. I want to thank you all for the support and for giving it also in those difficult times.
  3. Just ordered some cards - they are great! I left a note with the Order too but just in case: would it be possible to dispatch the cards in a few weeks only? Our postmen are really struggling at the moment. I hope it will not cause any inconvenience to put the Order on hold.
  4. I know this will not offer much support but I would be happy if no one would take any notice of me. My checking is so severe at the moment including the terrible mood changes that everyone notices. They don't know what exactly is wrong so I'm just the freak for them. As I said no good advice since I'm terribly caught in the checking cycle myself at the moment. I'm also very tired. For me the exposure hierarchy doesn't work, it's rather a "domino effect": after the first check I'm doomed no matter what. Sorry for not having any advice - but please let me know when you've found a way out.
  5. Hello Cub, Unfortunately I cannot offer any advice since I'm also terribly struggling at the moment. I just want to send you my virtual support, to let you know that you're not alone. I really wish I could help you since I feel your despair but right now I'm beaten by this awful disorder. So forgive me for not sending a good advice but I really wanted to write nevertheless to let you know that you're not alone.
  6. Since I'm not from the UK I cannot really contribute but it's done here and they publish that it's only done as last measure if nothing else helps. It further says that for 2 out of 3 patients the symptoms could be reduced by at least 25%. I did not do research in detail so I don't know if the site I found and quoted gives an overall picture. But if above figures are halfway correct then it's not very encouraging in my eyes. But then I don't know if the treatment would be exactly the same in the UK as it's done here.
  7. Yes, I've also had this problem. I checked the car for evidence of a collision, stopped to listen if I hear emergency sirens and drove the same path several times. I don't do this any more since the last time I drove the same path several times I was stopped by the police asking why I was circling the area! I don't know what they suspected (maybe that I was looking for "my" drug dealer or waiting to pick up my partner coming from a burglary). Now how do you explain at 4am in a completely deserted town with no one on the streets that you're driving around checking if you hit someone! It showed me the absurdity and it was a real nightmare and my fear of this happening again prevents me from doing this compulsion which then also reduced all the other compulsions - unfortunately not completely.
  8. I am Not sure if I want to Go Into this discussion but I have to contradict. The term enjoy would be the last word I would come Up with when thinking about OCD. I am a checker and I check my work several times, I come in on the weekends. Luckily I catch most mistakes. Therefore I lately received a Job offer to proof-read a manual. Payment was Very good. NOT for EUR 1000000 I would have agreed since the stress and anxiety are just too much. So I dare to doubt if it's really OCD or if so maybe with another topic. @ Andrea, this is wonderful with the rescue dogs. Sorry for Not replying sooner but I sometimes don't dare to write. This was such a positive and wonderful post of you, really inspiring and giving me hope and a reason why to continue fighting and it makes me sad in which Direction it partly went. I definitely don't dare any more to mention details of my OCD since I am too vulnerable at the moment for some of the possible replies. So I thank you for your courage and for bringing hope and light and for your Inspiration. Sorry for the bad english, I am writing on the phone which is constantly changing the language
  9. Wonderful that you are also an animal lover! I'm unfortunately not good with humans but I love animals. I would love to help as many as possible. My cats are rescue cats too. Unfortunately it takes forever to check that they are safe or better that it feels safe. To take responsibility for additional animals is impossible 😟
  10. I would love to help this day in an animal shelter - but now it is impossible, it would take me the whole day to check if all doors are closed, all toys are safe....
  11. Hi BelAnna, So sorry to learn that you're struggling. I was also wondering if your dog is picking up on your anxiety. One of my cats does. Whenever I'm very anxious, he gets nervous too, doesn't eat or vomits. I don't want to give reassurance but depending on the medication your dog got she might be tired. And the immune system had to fend off an infection which is also an inside battle. So she might be just not feeling well because of this. I know the thoughts you mention but did you only have them shortly before your cat died? Or did you have them more or less permanent but did only make the connection when it really happened? I have constant worst case scenarios in my head and expect my cats being dead when I get home. So far it never happened (in more than a decade) so if it should be true one day it would still be 100 million times thought not true versus 1 time true. Sorry that I can't write more and that I'm not really helpful but I'm struggling with typing. I send you and your dog my best wishes.
  12. Yes, it's very dangerous, I also used alcohol to self-medicate and now I've both: OCD and an alcohol addiction. Of course it's not the same for everyone but there is a risk.
  13. It is good news that all your fears were purely OCD. I send my get-well wishes to your dog.
  14. Hi, I try to answer but typing is a big Theme for me. I understand, it is indeed bad that you had some Not good experience with your vet so that you don't trust your vet completely. I am lucky in this context since my vet is brilliant. Yes the OCD around my cats affects me a lot which is even more strange since I don't have a theme for myself here. Like you I take care that the sink is clean before filling their water bowl, I check that all cupboards are closed, that no bags are lying around, no sharp things.... I avoid touching other cats (we have 2 deadly diseases in our area) sometimes I have to change clothes if I touch something which might be dangerous
  15. Hi, I think it's normal to be worried in this situation but luckily you've the Vet appointment already tonight so that your dog gets a diagnose and treatment. Until then I would try to refrain from trying to figure out what it might be. This is just speculation and as always with OCD suspecting the worst. I can totally relate, I also have OCD around my cats pretty similar to what you describe above. But when it comes to injuries or infections I absolutely trust my Vet. He is the specialist and he knows what he is doing. I don't try to self-diagnose since even if by chance I would be right there is nothing I can do anyway until I get a recommendation and treatment from the Vet. I know that it's extremely difficult but I would really try to stop figuring out what it might be, distract yourself and dedicate this time to your dog. She needs you now when she is not feeling well. I wish your dog all the best and that she gets well soon.
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