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    Living with OCD

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  1. Yes, there is something wrong with you. You’re ignoring what people have told you: you have OCD. We all do!
  2. As a scientist (a statistician in fact) I would say that this is complete and utter nonsense. Just because you PERCEIVE these events happening a lot and they feel “real”, does not mean that the most simple and obvious explanation does not add up (ie. they are coincidences). It may “feel” like it doesn’t - but such a “feeling” is not an objective measure of the accuracy of the explanation. “After searching and searching for more rational explanations......“ Here in lies your problem: if you understood the statistics - you’d see that this explanation is perfectly rational. But instead you are trying to use “feeling” to measure this - which is poorly defined and unreliable. It’s like a juror using their gut feeling about the way a defendant looks to say whether they are guilty or not - instead of looking at the actual evidence. The reason I know this - apart from me being a statistician: I do it with my OCD as well - we all do. Instead of looking at logic we get obsessed with the way something “feels”. That is just wrong. I worry about contamination. Even when I can demonstrably prove that something has been perfectly sterilised without any doubt at all - using all objective measures of cleanliness known to science, it still “feels” dirty. Do I like this? No. Does it cause me great pain? Yes. However I do not follow your train of thought that the science must be wrong or irrational as it “feels” funny. I disagree with what many OCD sufferers seem to think: that their perception must be absolutely correct and everyone else must have got it wrong (in this case thousands of scientists). The problem is actually ME. It is how I respond to a memory of what may have been on said item. It has no basis in reality. I will not waste my time looking for an explanation that “feels” right (as it sounds like you do). I look at myself, see how my brain is making incorrect assumptions and work on fixing the way that makes me feel.
  3. Well the second may be true. You THINK there is an issue letting a fantasy play out. Maybe you’re wrong?
  4. That’s what you’re missing. You THINK you purposely developed it. And you THINK there is a problem even if you did. Both of those are not facts. OCD will twist your perception so you think they are. And if you told your partner that, she may well not understand that OCD is manipulating you and take what you said as fact. Which would be upsetting for her. And - like I said before - the fact you had to mention it in the first place - however “normal” those thoughts are.
  5. It will have upset her because you felt you needed to tell her. Not because of the issue itself. She will have had random thoughts too. Maybe about your dad, or your brother etc. You probably wouldn’t want to know that so she won’t tell you. Same works the other way around. It does not mean she disapproves of you having random thoughts. It’s just she doesn’t want her nose rubbing in it, and you telling her all about it is exactly that.
  6. You have OCD. Your perspective on the issue isn’t correct at the moment.
  7. Yeah, but the half who would get guilty about it would probably say that as part of their OCD. Not sure we should hold our particular individual worries up as what constitutes “normal” or “reasonable”. Whilst I have many OCD worries - this isn’t one of them, so I feel comfortable saying you’re overthinking this. I don’t think it’s as grey as you think.... Definitely move on. 😊
  8. Doesn’t sound like betrayal. That’s just normal. Maybe you have excessive ideas about what constitutes betrayal?
  9. Can I be brutally honest? What a load of rubbish. So what if you have a pretty niece. So what that she used to be young. You know every woman you’ve ever slept with used to be a baby right?! You’re way over thinking this. Move on.
  10. Nah. Wouldn’t have bothered me either. My OCD has mostly been contamination related.... so I should be relatively “normal” judging this topic. I think you’re making something out of nothing. I’m particularly interested in your “wouldn’t anyone” comment. Suggests to me you might not be the best judge on this subject....
  11. I’m worried that @PolarBear is not worrying about worrying about your worrying about worrying. x
  12. I can see from your stubbornness your OCD has a hold of you. Open your mind to the possibility you may be wrong rather than cling onto arbitrary preconceived notions of what is “proper”. You really think you have the experience to know what most people would think? I was like you 25 years ago. I’d recommend you learn from other’s mistakes or you will waste a lot of time and repeat them. Don’t be gullible. As a guy in his late thirties I am more than aware of what boys are like.... Not wanting anything serious means he wants fun with no commitment. As long as you’re happy with that - fine. But go into it open minded. I imagine you’ll laugh off what I say, and then in 20 years say what I said to your kids. I did try. 😊
  13. You think you did... Yes: therapy will help with that - so go hassle for it. Yes - you are being dramatic but it is stressful. I should tell you - I recently went for an interview as a therapist. The boss asked me “why should we hire you as our reverse psychologist?” I said “you shouldn’t!”
  14. It is hard - agree on that. I know we can all sympathise as to how wanting to eliminate that uncertainty can drive us mad. But it is for the greater good. @Cora One of the lessons I wish I could have taught young me: you don’t have to make all your own mistakes. You can learn from other people’s. You should listen to that - take people’s advice who have already suffered.
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