compulsivflyer

I wrote a 2 part blog post on parenting with OCD and the implications it had on me and potentially on my wife and children a few years ago when I was completing my recovery. Not sure if i'm allowed to link to it in here, but it's easy enough to find and might be interesting. It's on my compulsivflyer wordpress blog titled "OCD & the Implications to Bringing Up Children". Steve

Thanks guys, really helpful answers so far. @ sportlover - Do you often hear other teachers or students use terms like 'i'm a bit OCD' incorrectly and do you put them right or bite your lip like i have usually done? It's hearing this several times in a week recently that have convinced me to be more open with my issues. I'm fairly thick skinned and it doesn't offend me, but the lack of understanding of the seriousness of the condition is very frustrating. I also dread to think what effect some youngsters feel from hearing the condition trivialized and joked about openly when they are coming to terms with it internally.

As part of some awareness sessions i am going to be delivering to groups of Tutors and Learning Support Assistants at work, i am hoping to get some views from fellow sufferers on their experiences at work. The main questions i have are: Have you told your employer about your OCD? Have you told your work colleagues? How have they reacted? Do you prefer to hide your condition altogether? Are there parts of your condition you keep a secret? Is your company supportive? Also, did you inform your school/college/university when you were there and how was the experience? From a personal point of view, OCD started to deeply affect me in my early 30s. I informed the staff nurse whn i started with my current employer around this time. I let 2 close colleagues in on my 'secret' a few years later and informed my line manager about 4 years ago before starting my last CBT course. The fundraising runs and rides i have carried out for OCD-UK have allowed me to share a brief amount of details of my condition with the 1500 staff at our work, but i have decided to take things a step further next month by hosting a couple of 90 minute awareness seminars to groups of about 30 teaching and support staff. I have never recieved ANY bad reactions or feedback at work and feel confident that it's about time i stuck my head truly over the parapet. Any help or information you can share will be warmly recieved. Thanks Steve

As part of awareness sessions i am presentation to groups of Tutors, Learning Support staff and Learning coaches i am hoping to get the opinions of fellow workers in education and, more importantly, of college and school students. I have a few key questions that i would love answered: Have you told your friends about your OCD? Do your classmates also know? Are they supportive or do they tease you? Have you told your teachers/tutors/school nurse? Have they adapted your learning to help you? I was 'lucky?' enough to not be gripped by OCD until my early 30s, so do not have direct experience of this myself. By having areas like this forum and media such as Twitter/facebook you guys have a lot more access to knowledge and support than many of us older sufferers did. I hope this helps as many of you as possible to recover your lives to an enjoyable and at least acceptable level. Steve

£12.50 campsite sorted for Sunday night in Exeter. I'll DM you my number Ashley so i make sure i don't miss you Sunday evening. Plan is to ride up to Taunton or wherever the lunch stop is and then head back to pick my van up to drive back to Dorset. Hope it's not raining. What sort of pace are you guys riding at now you've done a load of training? Steve

What time will you be leaving the hotels in the morning? I'm looking for somewhere cheap/free to stay in Exeter for the night close to the hotel at St Davids so I can meet you in the evening and before the ride in the morning. Going to sleep in my van if I can find somewhere safe/legal to park it. Found a campsite 3 miles out of town at Newton St. Cyres? I could ride in from if I can't find anything closer. Got my geared bike working finally so at least I won't have to honk my singlespeed around for 80 miles! :original: Steve

How about 'Just a thought' Linked to OCD-UK but not a specific 'logo' of a charity that may or may not be around in 10 yrs time?

It was certainly a good starting place for CBT treatment. Easy and regular to access, no need to simulate or think of 'tasks' to carry out. Anyway, off out for 50 miles on the bike now as the van is in for an MOT :original: . Good luck.

This is a blog I wrote about my Driving related OCD recently. Not sure it will answer any questions, but shows you are not alone. Also, I have fought most of these to the point of being able to handle most journeys without fear and it's very rare that I will ever perform any of the 'major' scary/inconvenient checks anymore. Driving with me and my OCD If OCD is a cleaning disorder, EXPLAIN THIS!! Anyone with even a basic understanding of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder will know that, unlike the portrayal seen in some TV shows and newspaper articles, OCD is about far more than cleanliness and perfection. In fact in some cases it’s about as far removed from cleanliness as it’s possible to be. It’s also not something to brag about, be ‘proud’ of or aspire to have. It is in fact a nasty, spiteful illness that drastically compromises the quality of life of its sufferers/prisoners. One of the lesser known and talked about elements of OCD is the one related to driving. In some ways this particular strand highlights the flexibility and adaptability of the illness as, presuming that anxiety and OCD have been around for more than a couple of generations (and we know mental health conditions have), then this strand has to be a new ‘branch’ that has grown with the increased use of motor transport in the last 50 years. Let me first say that if you have OCD and are reading this, it should NOT put you off driving at all. As with most other things in life, OCD drivers are some of the safest, most considerate and caring people out there. Any percieved dangers and thoughts are just that – thoughts – tricks being played by the mind and not a true reflection of what is happening on the road. I never stopped driving and am glad i didn’t. Yeah, some days my 3 mile drive to work took an hour and i couldn’t drive to my mums an hour away, but i didn’t give up. It was one of the first things targetted during my CBT sessions and the one that was challenged EVERY day. This has been one of the longest running and earliest starting parts of my OCD. There were certainly signs and individual incidents at least a couple of years before something that could safely be recognised and diagnosed as OCD took over control of my mind. I’ve also found these to be some of the more frustrating and infuriating of my compulsions. Exceedingly timewasting, annoying, often scary and with fuel prices these days; bloody expensive! Below I have listed SOME of the circumstances and situations that would lead to intrusive obsessive thoughts and some of the things I would be compelled to do to try to lower the anxiety levels created by these thoughts. Again, as with most of my other OCD related activity, the key background worries revolve around hurting, or more the prevention of hurting, of others and the personal responsibilities of this happening. Firstly I’ll cover a few of the peripheral obsessions and compulsions that surround the actual journey itself. I’ll start our journey somewhere other than home, as that would unleash a whole new level and list of issues involving the actual leaving of home in the first place! Right, starting with a couple of basic ones that even those non sufferers can probably identify with: • Door Checking – A variant on the house door checks that are a common occurrence in checking OCD. Many ‘normal’ folk will occasionally return to their car to check the door is locked…..not so many will let it rule their head for hours if they don’t or be terrified not to. • Checking Lights – Again, something all have probably done; “did I switch my lights off?” ……exactly HOW MANY times do I need to bloody check this before I allow myself to believe it though? • Checking Handbrake – Double whammy here, not only a checking compulsion but the worry of what or who the car may hit if you weren’t 100% ‘happy’ that the brake was on. • Checking Windows – Similar to doors, and both have that extra dimension of not only a check but the fear that something private could be taken or even worse that something alien and harmful could be put into one of your safe places. • Staring At Petrol Pumps – Again more of a contamination issue than anything else, but minutes spent inspecting and staring at petrol pump handles to check the sharp bits (usually peeling plastic coatings). • Checking Floor Near Car – Simply to check if anything had been dropped whilst getting in the car, blown out of the car and for sharp objects that may have been stood on. Door would be opened and floor checked at least twice! Now we get to the OCD issues specific to driving: • Avoiding Journeys And Routes – Avoiding areas with high pedestrian traffic, schools nearby, routes with ‘bad’ memories. Also avoid driving at night as it is more difficult to check mirrors to see if pedestrians or other road users are safe after you’ve passed. • Stopping After 1st 50 Yards – The first part of any journey I found the hardest, before I had got into my ‘fully aware’ zone. Most drives therefore involved a stop 50-100 yards from the start to check not only mirrors but rear window and even out of door sometimes to make sure I hadn’t run someone over or left anything behind. • Stopping Randomly In Road – Similarly to above but as a reaction to an especially traumatic part of a drive, such as having passed someone pushing a pram or feeling as if I had been distracted. • Multiple Laps of Carparks – Carparks = pedestrians = maximum opportunities to have run someone down. This would often require multiple laps until I felt 100% sure and safe.or so frustrated and annoyed that I made myself leave and deal with the anxiety (CBT!). • Laps Of Roundabouts – Not 100% sure you pulled out safely or pedestrians nearby, no problem, multiple laps of roundabout ahoy! • Loops Of Routes – Think roundabouts but bigger. A loop of several roundabouts or a block of streets give the chance of double backing and checking for accidents or incidents. My record for the block near my house was 10 times before making myself give up! • Letting Too Many Pedestrians Cross – Worry you might mow down a pedestrian or have to deal with anxiety? Avoid this by not only letting people cross as normal but also anyone anywhere near a crossing or looking like they want to cross without one. • Traffic Lights – Nope, you wouldn’t have caught me leaving on an amber or until the crosser had not only cleared my lane but the whole road. Not 100% sure in your mind light was green? Drive back to check for ‘damage’. • Driving Too Far From Curb – to minimise anxieties related to pedestrians, I would drive just that bit further out from the curb than usual. Typically with OCD, this would create more problems as the fear would then be that you were too far out and would ‘force’ oncoming traffic to go near their curb. This was NEVER the case but OCD doesn’t let the facts get in the way of a good story. • Giving Bikes Too Much Room – As a cyclist I’m never going to moan about being given too much room to ride. As a driver stuck behind me for a mile when I won’t overtake one, I would moan! • Going Home The Way You Came – Not necessarily a problem…unless it’s to check something you’ve been worrying about all day at work. • Forgotten Parts Of Journeys – “I don’t remember driving that part of the route”; a common thought for many drivers I’m sure. NOT AN OPTION for the OCD driver who needs to be 100% aware of every part of their day, let alone their drive! • Checking Bumpers – Didn’t have an accident, didn’t feel any bumps. Let’s check those bumpers just in case. • Checking News And Papers – Particularly stressful drive? Check the news and next day’s papers for the crashes and deaths your mind is trying to convince you that you have caused. • Cycling? – Cycling is my passion. So guess what? Our spiteful little friend OCD decides to transfer the driving anxieties over to the bike. As if I wouldn’t FEEL a collision on a bike! Doesn’t matter in the fear obsessed world of OCD. • Reassurance – Easiest thing to do to relieve anxiety is to make sure you’ve got a passenger on lookout for you, someone you can continually ask “was it alright back there”? Or “they were ok weren’t they”? WRONG!! As with all OCD issues, reassurance and avoidance of responsibility FUELS the illness. It also drove my wife to screaming at me to stop asking her…Sorry xx. Driving with OCD can be exhausting. What the condition makes you do is be constantly aware. Absolutely constantly aware of every damn thing, not only the other cars but pedestrians, workers, lights, signs, litter, weather, all of everything! If the police needed some random fact about some obscure road 3 weeks previous, I was their man! How do these terrifying thoughts translate to being a passenger instead of driver? They disappear. Simple as that. Lack of responsibility = lack of anxiety. OCD you are a *******.

Would you rather have something on record at a doctor or feel better? Easy choice for me. Welcome and good luck.

Feeling I should make the effort this year and go to this. The event in Bournemouth a few years ago was a catalyst for change for me. 700 mile round trip from here though, anyone else going up from down South?

When we used to play football as kids, someone would always dive or fall in dog ****. No one got ill. No one died. If dog **** from your shoes got onto your carpet at home it will smell and may leave a stain. That is all. No one will die. This is the same situation if it was elephant poo, bird poo ar human poo. Is poo repulsive? Not really. We all wipe our backsides, plenty change nappies and plenty walk dogs and pick their **** up. Thousands of nurses and zoo keepers can't be wrong :original: Poo (or is it pooh?) is NOT the problem, OCD is the problem. You could substitute the poo for vomit, sweat, spit and bogies and someone on here will have a similar fear about them. Wanna smash this fear, old pair of shoes, step in dog mess, walk around with it for a while and feel that anxiety level drop.....clean it off and do it again. Know what? You're anxiety levels will be lower and will return to normal quicker.......otherwise known as CBT (not sure a therapist would actually get anyone to do this, so don't panic!). Saying NON-OCD people throw shoes away for this is an excuse and bowing to your OCD. You KNOW if it is the illness making you do this. If it's not then fine, you're a bit fussy and maybe a bit cleaner than many, if it is then the choice is to suck it up and clean those shoes or let OCD win again. Who'd have thought poo could be this interesting , i've never written so much ****! Good luck and keep fighting. Steve

I used to have a real problem with checking things before throwing them away. Most commonly with meat packaging due to the blood on them and needing to check it was inside the packet, not on the outside and with post to ensure i wasn't throwing anything important away. I would study them for minutes before putting them in the bin and if they were still visible would go back, open the bin and stare at them. If i could fish them out without triggering my contamination fears too much i would also do this on occassion. The obvious treatment CBT wise for this is to, without hesitation, put the rubbish in the bin and walk away. Then note your anxiety levels and the time it takes for them to drop to an acceptable level then repeat this regularly until the time reduces dramatically and eventually disappears. I no longer do this at all! Good luck and keep fighting it.

Actually, i do have access to a tandem but not sure i'd want to ride 80 miles on the thing

Haven't read it, but interestingly (or not) her dad was my barber for the first 30 odd years of my life :original: