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Eric Dave

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  1. The thing is when I see men on tv or social media it causes a groinal response. When I am asleep in the morning and images of men pop into my dream it actually causes arousal. I had a horrible dream that my father who is now dead was instigating sex with me and I got aroused
  2. I was watching bbc2 and there was a documentary about Freddie Mercury dying of aids which spiked me. Now I'm worried I got aids off my girlfriend even though she told me she tested negative for aids a few months ago .
  3. I had a horrific night. I dreamt my late father was encouraging me to have sex with him in which I was sort of resisting but also got aroused and in the dream was going to go ahead with it until I woke up aroused. Am I latching on to ocd as a means of not accepting who I am? I am sorry for posting but really distressed.
  4. But logically I can't believe its ocd anymore. So many bad things happen to me. Watching tv spikes me constantly. Going on social media spikes me constantly. What happens usually is this: I se a hot girl and feel nothing. Like literally nothing. Then the next time a perfume ad for example JEan Paul GAultier featuring topless men sailors I feel this arousal but its terrifying. Maybe I just cant accept my true sexality?? I dont want to accept it nor get with a guy but why does my body feel aroused at the drop of a hat? Like I say its so bad now that literally the smallest thing male related sets it off. Topless man in an ICU bed on a ventilator. Seeing men in basketball shorts playing basketball. What I am asking is I have lost all belief I am straight but never want to do anything with a guy but I cant stop being fearful of it and getting spiked constantly. I literally feel helpless to change. My groin gets this surge of arousal and then the terror hits.
  5. My groinal responses are so instantaneous and strong though. Its not like I sit looking at a man for 10 seconds and then feel some tingle. It feels like a surge in my groin. I can see in some ways it might be ocd. I had a groinal response to a topless man in ICU on a ventilator with covid last week. But in lots of other ways I think the groinals are 'no this is what sexual desire must feel like' and this is what straight men must feel for women.
  6. I have been plagued with ''groinal responses'' or arousal sensations. My sex drive to women is gone. Straight stuff that used to turn me on is not anymore. I fear the groinal responses are real arousal and then the intense fear I have of being gay shuts it down. Why do I think this? This morning and some other mornings I will be groggy in a semi conscious state and in and out of dreams. Something gay popped into my dream and it caused me to get a semi erection. I then woke up in fear. I want to believe this is ocd so much. I have a girlfriend now and am terrified I am just in denial and a repressed gay. I think I am repressed because the groianls occur so frequently now to men and then this fear puts the breaks on it. I realise I am neurotic mess in many areas of life. Covid, Cancer, fear of accidents etc. so I can see that maybe just maybe this could also be ocd as a possibility. But then I see my gay finger ratio and lack of arousal to women now and fear that this is actually real and not ocd. Its really frightening to have stuff that used to turn you on not and stuff you never thought of is now. I have tried giving in and accepting being gay and tried numerous times to masturbate about men but I still dont get a resolution. I am crazy on top of it. This last week I am scared I have cancer, Weils disease, Covid, skin cancer just to name a few worries. Can someone help? If my logical brain no longer believes I am straight due to lack of evidence what hope is there?
  7. My groinal responses have increased in the last 10 years from once a week to multiple times a day. I really am afraid its actual arousal. The sensation I used to get was a tightening sensation somewhere in the root of my penis but I would never get bigger or an erection. Now its starting to cause a twitch in my penis and a tiny bit of arousal and it freaks me out. Also they occur now at the drop of a hat. I can be watching tv for example watching Fawlty Towers and this man in 70's attire had his ftop button of his yellow shirt undone showing a tiny bit of chest hair and when I saw this instantly got a groinal. My sex drive to women has totally decreased to zero. Even 2 years ago I would get aroused by women in porn etc.. Now nothing. I'm really scared my body is changing and new gay neural pathways are forming and getting grooved and all my old attractions have gone forever.
  8. Hi Thomas. I dont know know if I have HOCD or not. I initially thought I did and was told I did but now fear the worst as my symptoms have changed. I too get the groinal response and it is horrible. I am scared everytime they occur but they happen now anytime I look at a good looking guy on tv or internet. Its like a tightness and tingling but dont get an erection (yet). Worse I can see women in sexy photos and no longer feel desire or arousal. I'm 40.
  9. I am convinced I am gay. My sex drive to women has diminished and diminshed to a point now where its zero. Now I get groinal responses everytime I see a picture of a man on tv or internet. I can't understand why this is happening. I am really worried this is proof and that the groinal responses are evolving and will one day actually lead to arousal and erections. I am starting to feel new sensations when groinals occur which make me fearful I am forming new brain circuitry.
  10. Hi there. This happened to me recently. I was having sex with my girlfriend and she was on top and I tested in my mind imagining it was a guy and I immediately had an unwanted orgasm and felt very anxious and down. I too worry a lot about this
  11. Well I see teenagers who are obviously gay being told on forums that they have hocd. How am I supposed to take peoples word its ocd when there is people telling people who are distressed over discovering they are gay but hoping its ocd being told its ocd? I read this: "The first thing I will say is that by having OCD and having false fears of being gay does not mean you are not in fact gay. Cases have existed where the person in distress has suffered from genuine ocd about this fear to the point that it has prevented them from accepting their true orientation. Being treated for ocd will not guarantee you are not of homosexual orientation and the treatment for ocd (CBT with ERP) will, in the end, result in the acceptance of your homosexuality if you are in fact homosexual. Second of all, it is very unlikely for the OCD sufferer to experience arousal to homosexual stimulus and erotica. Typically, the OCD sufferer will be aroused by erotica of the orientation they identify with and not be aroused by erotica of the orientation they fear being but still remain uncertain of their orientation. This uncertainty can drive an ocd sufferer to the ends of their sanity to try and find an answer." What are poeples thoughts on this? If the thread gets deleted I suspect there is a cover up and that pocd and hocd people are telling each other its ocd when its not to reassure themselves. Saying asking is a compulsion is nonsense. People want to hide the truth.
  12. thats great news. Ask reasonable questions and they are ignored, unanswered and told they are compulsions
  13. The therapsit will see right through me. Im a faker. He'll tell me I'm gay. I've seen people on forums with hocd and they recovered after a year or some months. I am either gay and unresponsive to treatment (i.e phillipson) or way worse than they are. I dont see too many people questioning if they have ocd here. I have another fear that those on here telling me its ocd do so because if I turn out to actually be gay then they too might turn out to be what they fear and so its in their interest to keep telling me its ocd. I dont know what to believe
  14. If you experienced what I have/am you would come to the conclusion you were gay too.
  15. I feel gay and not hocd. I am getting intense groinals every day which are unwanted but my groin is reacting sexually and I feel inteseity in my chest/stomach which I dunno is good or bad. I had considered going to my GP and going to a ocd therapist but I feel like there is no point. I am ashamed and embarassed of the thoughts and dont want anyone to know even a doc or thereapist. I feel like I would be wasting my time and money treating it as ocd. I didnt mind the skype therapy sessions with Dr Phillipson because nobdy there knew me and I knew it would be kept private. Also I like having the slim possibility its actually hocd being kept open. I am scared that if I go to 'a real ocd specialist' I will be told I dont have ocd and I'm gay. Im scared of what I will discover about myself and finally having it 100% confirmed Im gay. EVERY SINGLE DAY I GET REACTIONS TO MEN. TODAY I SAW A GUY AND INSTANTLY FELT ATTRACTED AND GOT A GROINAL. I have been thinking about it all day now and I'm down again. I just dont see how its ocd.
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