gingerbreadgirl

Hi saz, what advice might you give someone who posted a similar question to this? X

Hi everyone I haven't written on the forum for a while, but I have been checking in from time to time so I hope everyone is well. I wondered if anyone had ever tried the technique of recording an anxiety-provoking situation and listening to it on a loop. I know it is sometimes recommended as an ERP technique and I am tempted to try it for a particularly stubborn OCD fear I keep getting. But I've also heard stories where it's made things worse for people and not actually helped at all. I just wondered if anyone had any personal experience? many thanks GBG x

Hi Purple, Not spoken to you in ages - I'm so sorry to hear you've been having trouble with this again - it's so heart-breaking reading this forum and seeing so many good people such as yourself torturing themselves (or rather being tortured by OCD). I've been where you are, and I know what it's like to think "if I let myself off the hook my real self will come out and I'll start behaving in terrible ways" so you believe that, by constantly punishing yourself, you're somehow protecting the people around you. There's no easy way to move away from this way of thinking - a lot of people say things like 'but you wouldn't worry about this if you were a bad person' and (although that's true) it's based on the idea that if you could only see that you could 'snap out of it' and unfortunately OCD doesn't work that way, as we all know! DKsea gives excellent advice above, and I especially like the idea of doing it just for five minutes a day, and this is something that's really helped me in the past. Even now I get out a piece of paper almost every day, and I write good things about myself for five minutes. It feels all wrong (and in some ways it's become a bit of a compulsion but that's another story) but by telling myself it's just for five minutes it feels easier, somehow. You can just say to yourself: 'I'm only pretending, even if I'm a bad person, what's the harm in pretending I'm not for the next five minutes?' Hope you have a better day tomorrow

I think sometimes with drugs or herbal remedies there can be an element of the placebo effect. I mean this in no way disrespectfully - I may be completely wrong - but sometimes I've taken things in the past which have 'helped' but looking back I'm not sure if they were psychological.

I took st john's wort for about a month. I experienced a number of side effects including heart palpitations and bleeding between periods, which stopped soon after I stopped taking it (I'm not a doctor so they may not have been related, but they definitely coincided and I hadn't changed anything else). It definitely can have side effects - you can't expect something to affect your body chemistry without the possibility of this. They may not happen for everyone but they can happen.

I suffer with tremendous guilt almost permanently, and end up searching for reasons to feel guilty... of course if I look hard enough I can find plenty. ocd is a tough adversary but it is beatable.

this is fantastic Paul. really inspirational x

I've been diagnosed with GAD and I'm also very sure I have OCD (although have never been diagnosed with that). I think for me the two feel very different. GAD can be obsessive, but usually involves worrying about something quite rational, but to an unusual degree. For example, I worry a lot about my parents dying - GAD - but then sometimes I get very intrusive thoughts about them dying in a specific but fantastically unlikely way (for example, getting murdered by a burglar) and start getting urges to compulsively ring them up to see if they've locked their doors. For me, this is the crucial difference - the rational/unlikely aspect of the fear, and the need to perform an action or mental action to eliminate the doubt (which of course can never be eliminated). But like Caramoole said, it's not always helpful to get hung up on labels, when they're all essentially under the same umbrella.

hi pug, I can really relate to this. I hope it helps to know that for a long a long time - several months - I really thought CBT was basically useless as I practised it faithfully (every day) and nothing seemed to budge. But after that, it really started to work and it had a kind if snowball effect. I'm certainly not better now, but things are so much better than they were before and I feel much better equipped to deal with things. CBT is unfortunately not a quick fix, but it truly does work in time. I guess it's like going to the gym, you wouldn't expect a six pack after one visit or even ten, but it's the only way to get one in the long run! good luck, it really does work and you don't have to feel like this forever, even if you're convinced you will xx

I completely agree, running is like therapy for me.

I think it goes without saying we all want that.

This is fantastic. Way to go!! And as Laura says, this is a huuuuge list of achievements!!

in my opinion the mail is an appalling rag of a newspaper that would literally do anything for a story and indeed has done in the past. Well done Ashley and ocd UK for sticking to the moral high ground.

hi sigh, have you thought about trying to get another appointment?

no probs :-) I didn't think it sounded dodgy at all - also I wasn't sure how old you are which is why I said about relationships! glad I helped :-) x

I think like with any kind of ocd the key is to practise acceptance. Next time you see a girl you think is attractive, just accept that she may be under sixteen and that's ok. Just let the anxiety sit there, don't try and reassure yourself, or check, or analyse, or any other compulsion. just allow the anxiety to be there - even if it's very intense. Of course it would be different if you were to enter some kind of sexual relationship with someone, but then obviously the question of age and so on would come up more organically. Just remember, thoughts by themselves can never do any harm and do not require any corrective action. They're just little chemical reactions in your head, that's all.

this is absolutely fantastic, it's put a big smile on my face - you should be really proud of what you've achieved xx

I agree with Hal; you need some help and you have to really be determined to beat this. I'd get yourself an appointment as soon as you can.

to have space in my head to think about things other than whether I'm a terrible person. getting there though. mainly.

hey there, I think it's really common to develop feelings like this for your therapist, who is understanding and non judgmental in a way loved ones sometimes aren't. like cub says, it doesn't have to mean anything serious, everyone has crushes and stuff, and fantasize about other people etc. it's pretty harmless in the scheme of things. I guess it depends on whether you feel it will end up harming your relationship and/or your therapist relationship, if the feelings get too strong. otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it too much! X

this is fantastic news, we'll done xx

I worry about this too because I'm messy, chaotic, unorganised, etc. This is one of the reasons programmes like OCC are so damaging. HOCD is definitely an extremely common type of OCD, as are many other types which are nothing to do with cleanliness, etc.

I think this is a little unfair considering that people have taken time to reply and try and help. I know you're suffering a great deal at the moment but we are all suffering or have had suffered in a similar way. OCD is incredibly hard and it is a long, hard battle trying to beat it - we're all fighting the same battle as you.

hi Jennifer, I can really relate to this. I am in such a constant state of beating myself up for the past that it is like normality. it has improved after doing CBT for a long time, but I think this is the hardest of my ocd habits to kick. I'll be sat at work, or wherever, and I'll suddenly have a "memory" of being horrible or offensive or rude or dishonest, and I'll feel compelled to ruminate on it until I've "solved" it. it's a ****** to kick this habit, but the best way to try is to just try the four steps: say "maybe I did do this bad thing, I'll never know for sure, but I have to carry on with my life" and allow the doubt to sit there. it can be painfully difficult but I think the guilt and anxiety should fade after doing this enough. ocd is horrible isn't it! X

hey there, well done on all the progress you've been making, it's fantastic! setbacks are inevitable, I've had a ton since starting CBT but it doesn't detract from the overall progress. ocd is a giant pain in the backside and sometimes it can win the battle but it doesn't mean it's winning the war. I would focus on the good things that happened today - you took your little boy to the loo even though it petrified you, you should congratulate yourself for that! then brush yourself off and try, try again, as Jimmy cliff says