efes

God, if only I knew what I was nervous about, I'd be dealing with my anxiety better.

Yes, I've noticed that I could just change my attitude to my thoughts, and I try to do that indeed, but I do wish that my overall anxious mood could go away so I wouldn't have to apply this kinda effort. (You know how anxious moods come and go? Admittedly, my mood is still anxious, and while my thoughts have kinda changed, the stress is still there.)

This is the kinda anxiety in which case you don't know why you're even nervous because it's way too far in the back of your mind.

I actually am over said routines being interrupted, but out of all the anxiety that caused me to think that I had to solve the problem right away, I had a bad tantrum which caused me to mentally kill past enemies, and I'm worried about myself that I am capable of being that angry over nothing, and that's why I am posting this. Anyway, this post isn't about the worry I just mentioned, but rather how I could prevent myself from worrying that I have to do things right away if they're causing me that much anxiety.

I actually have a thread about this on No More Panic called " As someone with this theme, could you tell me how..."

Like, I thought that the vague sense of anxiety I felt was bad enough, but when classic OCD came back, it hit me like a brick.

While I wasn't exactly super-duper mentally healthy the past few days, I only had mild OCD and general anxiety, but both of which I felt I could ride out. But something happening caused me have the kind of OCD of the kind that is harder to ride out, the kind where I feel I have a concrete reason to be nervous and not just a vague feeling of anxiety.

I've realized that if I can't enjoy one thing, I just should just try to enjoy another thing.

Honest quesch: how do I know the difference between when I'm acting on intrusive thoughts and when I simply have bad self-control?

Huh?

How I feel right now. Because someone I know off the Internet said that one of his biggest regrets was throwing a potted plant at a dog when he was younger, and I'm worrying that he might have been a young adult or close to it when he did that because he said "youthful antics," and whether that would mean he's an irredeemable person who deserves to be locked up.

At times like this, I wonder what the hell letting your thoughts float by is supposed to entail. Because all I know is how to distract, which normally would work, but since this specific theme involves getting overly conscious when I suddenly remember a thought, it's different.

To think that I could easily have nipped this in the bud two days ago, but I didn't.

For some reason, I haven't really been able to distract when my brain is threatening to lose interest in funny things.

What I meant was that, trying to enjoy certain things really induces those what-ifs more than other things do.

I think it's the "trying too hard to test whether I enjoy this certain thing enough or not" part that's the problem, I think. Like, I can't enjoy certain things because they trigger these kind of doubts.

It used to be that I would be relatively satisfied giving in to this theme, but now that I've noticed how tiring this is, for some reason, I'm more anxious now.

I have to admit something: sometimes a brain fog comes over and makes me have this obsession of, "How did I feel when I enjoyed this one thing? How can I replicate the exact way I felt when I enjoyed it?"

Now my brain is threatening to lose interest in funny things. Well, I should just distract. Because I only remember this theme every once in a while then. I forget it.

...It's now threatening to lose interest in things. I guess my brain just wants to make me nervous. Now that I know that the what-ifs in my mind are wrong, my anxiety is trying to desperately hold on by making me lose interest in things. BTW, I think that maybe I should focus on what I could enjoy instead of what I can't enjoy.

OK, admittedly, there's a good side that I should probably learn from at my worst: when I forget about this, I suddenly enjoy what I want to enjoy again.

I know that this might be short-sighted because maybe I've been through worse, but I think right now is close to my lowest. At least if this were merely an intrusive thought, I could still enjoy things and sit with the anxiety. Right now though, my mind is threatening to lose interest in certain things.

I could relate.

I guess so.

Sometimes, I forget what I'm supposed to be nervous about and just wind up enjoying what I want to enjoy, but then I suddenly remember and now I can't anymore.