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greentop

Bulletin Board User
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Germany

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  1. Hey everyone! I’ve taken a break from the forum for a couple of weeks and have found my POCD which had popped up again I have really got a handle on still struggling a bit with the past mistakes but doing a lot better than before and not dwelling as much on the thoughts. Just wondering how others (who I had been following the forums of who were struggling with real event ocd) are doing with their coping?
  2. Oh I must try that one @taurean ! My OCD has been particularly real and scary recently but I've also been getting among the top grades in school - something which I am very proud of
  3. Exactly! And we can be proud of ourselves for big and small things - everyone has their own markers of achievements.
  4. Yesterday after a few really great days, my therapist said something which stuck with me: 'look at all you've done while battling OCD.' And it's true, sometimes we're so busy focusing on the OCD we forget to congratulate ourselves for all the things we've done along the way WHILE coping with OCD. I found today a particularly hard day with a lot of bad intrusive thoughts but this evening I've been reflecting on all the accomplishments I've done and everyone else should be proud of the big and small things they do while juggling the OCD bully
  5. I seen 2 other therapists before I seen my current therapist who I just didn’t click with. They were more like counsellors and therefore weren’t sufficiently trained in OCD and CBT which was a big problem! If you research correctly you can find some people who can really help. To be honest if you told me a couple of weeks ago where I’d be now in how good I’m doing, I would have told you that it wasn’t possible. I still get quite a few of these intrusive thoughts and some days they’re worse than others but it’s just not getting stuck on the loop or compulsions, just letting the thought come and saying ‘so what’ to the thoughts. The intrusive thoughts are (for the most part) becoming less and less each day 🙂 Going over and over mistakes day in day out has been an issue for me and I figured it was better to forgive myself, learn from my mistakes and move on because punishing yourself in your head will do absolutely nothing and get you nowhere and to be honest turned me into a grumpy and not so nice person to be around. Instead, it’s better to focus on what I can do in the PRESENT of today, rather than lying around the house, punishing myself. It’s hard I know, but it’s really worth it 🙂
  6. Hi Nellie, Is there any way you could get access to a therapist? I think it would greatly benefit you. I have been where you are a few weeks ago I made the decision that enough was enough, I needed to deal with these thoughts of never being allowed to make a mistake. I had a bit of a blip last week where I entered back into rumination and felt horrible. No one is perfect, no one will ever be perfect and therefore there's no point trying. Polar Bear is 100% right and I've found his advice to be extremely helpful. I've made mistakes in the past which recently I felt the need to run and confess. Now when the thought enters my head I just say oh whatever! It REALLY works, even a few minutes ago I had an intrusive thought telling me I was a bad person. If I engaged with that thought and tried to solve it I would have wasted my day away, (as I had done last week), instead I just say SO WHAT! and I can honestly say my intrusive thoughts have reduced dramatically. Good luck!
  7. I sometimes find it hard to know what to say without it being an 'analysis' of my OCD and have been using this since yesterday and these two words 'SO WHAT' really do work! Thanks!
  8. It’s also kind of funny how something can seem so life or death one day and as you stop to ruminate over it you realise it’s really not that big of a deal too!
  9. Thanks guys - I think I’ve been doing so well weaning off my compulsions at the moment that the OCD is trying to slip in the cracks and catch me off guard! It’s exciting to watch my compulsions slowly reduce each day
  10. Thanks @taurean. I often think of people like you and many others on the board as volunteers. And the most selfless kind who don’t shout about what they do from the rooftops
  11. I suffered from intrusive thoughts for many years and now when one comes into my mind I don’t even react, I just let it float through and I feel no connection to them - which is great! But recently as I tackle my OCD I have found the OCD to be growing in strength and moving on to other themes. Although intrusive thoughts that happen when I’m walking down the street don’t bother me, recently one popped up during a real event My mind is fixated on this one intrusive thought that happened when I was with my partner and an image popped into my head of a family member, that wasn’t even sexual! When we were intimately together my mind basically went blank, then an image of them popped in and then it moved out. I just shook it off when it happened as a ‘brain fart’ as I like to call them. However now my brain has associated it back to the fact I was being intimate with my partner that it meant I was turned on by it! Because this intrusive thought has literally come out of the blue after having a handle on them for so long I feel like now I have to learn how to be ok with thoughts that happen during real (intimate) events rather than a trivial intrusive thought that happens when I’m completing a mundane task (which now don’t bother me at all). If I apply the technique that I’ve used before will I look back and be able to acknowledge the fact I did nothing wrong? Are previous suffers able to look back on intrusive thoughts which occur and seem so real and laugh at them, because I sincerely hope I can!
  12. Hello everyone! First of all, I’m not known on these boards but I’ve spent a bit of time reading them over the last few years and have found them amazingly helpful. Particular thanks to @taurean @PolarBear @dksea @OCDhavenobrain And many, many others. I have found your replies helpful to remind me to keep on track with my OCD journey. I feel I have really got a handle on my OCD, particularly the more horrible thoughts I ever had. I never ruminate on them anymore and that’s such a difference from even a year ago when they consumed my every being. There’s just this one event that has thrown me into a spin whereby I did something that I really shouldn’t have. It was wrong to do so but I didn’t even think it was wrong at the time, it was a few weeks after that OCD bit me. I’m really unsure about whether to confess or whether it’s good to challenge myself as I know now what I did was wrong, (although that didn’t cross my mind at the time), I’ve learned from it and I won’t do it again. But I feel like I’m unsure if this is OCD or just genuine guilt. (I’m still learning the difference!) It can be very hard to separate the two. What I did wrong may be held to gaining 'ill-gotten gains.' I feel like I need to deal with this to gain ‘self-forgiveness.’ My rumination on so many other things has greatly improved but it’s so frustrating I’m stuck on this event! How have people dealt with forgiving themselves without the need to confess or how did you know what was appropriate for the situation?
  13. @Phil10 please listen to the advice in this forum. There is no point shooting it down, I’ve done that before and it got me no where. Since Christmas I’ve ruminated on an event until in this last week I decided to give it a try to not dwell on the thought, it works, it really does. I think sometimes it can be harder to take advice from people who have had a handle on their OCD for a number of years. But take it from someone who felt awful very recently, the advice works! I read a line from someone in this forum from a few years ago that they felt they had ‘worried away there 20s,’ that really struck a chord with me, nothing beats a try 🙂
  14. I’m not going to reassure you. For me, it’s better to live with things I’ve done or haven’t done, than go over them 100s of times, accept them, move on - we’re not perfect beings. I’ve been where you are, thinking it’s only me who this should apply to, forget whatever you think for one day and just try. You’ve went over this in countless posts in another forum, when think of all the positive and good things you could have been doing with your life.
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