efes

It's been a while since I've been anxious like this, so I guess it's hard to deal with the thoughts when I haven't had to for a while.

This is basically the root of this problem. Things only trigger me because they remind me of this root cause. Otherwise, they wouldn't.

Actually, I don't even get triggered this often by social media, but when it does happen, it often hits hard.

The thread is gone, only this tweet, but you could easily guess what was in it.

Just looked up stuff about this dysfunctional family on Twitter assuming I wouldn't get triggered. I am a little triggered now, but I'll try to keep this theme as background noise.

OK, I guess I have the idea that he could just be in private chats that don't include me.

My mind is coming to the worst conclusions about this. I have ruled out a death because there are no obituaries for them, but I still haven't ruled out that they could be planning to kill themselves.

Same, but sometimes, it's hard.

I haven't truly ruminated about this for a while, until now, but it's always in the back of my mind.

The last part is the hardest. With time, the intensity of my OCD is way down, but the thinking patterns are still there.

Sadly, in the eyes of modern-day social justice, there's this assumption that everyone overthinks every association they make and that some people are just deliberately overlooking stuff because they're selfish or whatever.

This is still true. Overall, this is a theme that I do usually brush off well, but is almost always in the background.

Also, as one could probably see, social justice pile-ons on social media, deserved or not, tend to be one thing that my OCD attaches itself to. I haven't even identified with the social justice scene for years, but my conscience is still heavily influenced by it.

Bump because while I've managed to keep this theme as background noise for the past two months, I just saw something vaguely related on Twitter that made me want to confront this theme. It had something to do with the C-list influencer I alluded to earlier in this thread, more specifically people confronting her for moving in with her attempted groomer of a brother (ugh, like father, like son) and hanging out with some other guy accused of the same thing, and I'm like, ''why is this guy still willing to even vaguely touch anything related to this family?''

Maybe so, but I kinda don't know whether I should outgrow this crush or not. You see, this guy has a famous-(ish) ex, and I feel that if he were even mildly curious about his ex, then he would probably have read about his ex's mom's misdeeds because there's a Daily Mail article about it all (the focus was on the dad, but it mentioned something about the mom covering up for the dad), and it feels like following his ex's mom is in bad taste when you think about all this. Then again, maybe he just sees things through the nostalgia filter because they both used to be so close like a decade ago, and I guess most people just don't overthink every single association they make.