1Littlefoot

As many will know my son 28yrs old - OCD / depression last 10 yrs has had no therapy etc for 5 yrs. ( life is on hold for him) . He is terrified of restarting therapy/ seeing pysch but recognises for his life to improve he needs to plus he needs to do things for himself i.e. self help. . His OCD has made him very distrusting of pretty much everyone and I think due to his OCD has lost confidence in his own ability to assess who he can trust and who he can't - to have agency in this - as OCD has made him doubt his own thinking and thinks his agency/ control is limited. .Yet in those brief moments of OCD being asleep his mind is a sharp and as deceptive etc as ever and has agency. Any tips please as to how I can encourage him to get past this barrier? Any logical case on my part just gets pushed back by his overwhelming emotions / feelings about it all. Thank you wonderful peoples.

Thanks Angst - as you can see not got far - and am coming back to this again ...aligns with my thinking .. challenge to get a person son will even meet to check out let alone work with as he's just lost faith in them all ... and is so frightened he'll get more confused and get much worse . mmm next post ask ...

Hi Alinora, sorry didn't get back to you - life took over ( with son and all ) ... and as you can see am back here as Son not progressed really - going backwards . am now looking at these. So thank you.

Thanks Angst - very aware of this as my sister has schizophrenia - fortunately now she is seen regularly - helped by having monthly med injections . But before this she wasn't seen and had several actual real physical issues that were overlooked and put down to the mental illness - shockingly! Coincided with several life saving dashes to a&e as she'd had enough ... - Luckily she is with us now at 56 and living an ok life. No where near what it might have been as a A star student who didn't have to work hard , was brilliant at sport - with limited effort - so easy going / almost effortless - and then bamn - mentally ill at 16 - just like my son. Life is cruel sometimes. ha ho ... could be worse ... counting blessings

Wow thank you everyone ! Your answers are really really helpful! Best I get busy. You are are wonderful. Once again you have all given me hope, energy and a game plan to keep battling on for my son! Big hugs ! . xx

Yes that's what son thought and one of reasons why he wanted the referral - but psych rejected . No consideration given to reviewing meds. It's been 10 yrs since son was prescribed the meds - was 17/18 and is now 28 - never been reviewed. Over those 10 yrs son has more insight to the OCD and some of the underlying causes of his anxiety - and of course he's just matured ( albeit somewhat behind others of same age with no OCD in some ways as he's not had such aa full experience of life - although in other ways he's so so wise and perceptive - for his years - given what he's been through) .Plus of course a males metabolism /hormones change hugely over that time. All of which for me point to the need for a psych review - plus just plain good practise ! Am thinking that son goes back to GP and asks for second referral with a fuller argument. And if that fails then go ballistic and complain formally ! Which is what I had to to do 10 yrs ago to get any real help for him. That's of course if I can persuade son to re-engage. Its the case I need to put to him I am struggling with - as I have to tackle his emotions and anxiety. I know what to do practically - as I have said - but I can't actually do anything now for him as I did in the past when he was so poorly and petrified and still only 17yrs . Can you help at all with the emotional case that might motivate son to go back to GP please? Many thanks

My son ( 28yrs , OCD 10 yrs - not working - stuck in room - zero friends/ life very limited / living with parents / not seen psych / or therapy for 5 yrs / on sertraline and risperidone) is totally demoralised, dissatisfied with NHS and loosing hope . After a lot of effort encouraging him to at least see GP - GP gave him 40 mins of her time ! His faith restored that he'd been listened to - she wrote a referral to psych there and then as son is almost pretty much suicidal. Answer came back - NO - psych won't see him as he's on max meds. OUTRAGOUS in my view . Any ideas what to do next ? We could help him to go private ( for a bit ) - but the above just destroys his faith in the medical profession - and frankly given above rightfully so in my view. Plus he'll need to do therapy - his views on this are the same as above , he says the Michael Rutter Centre made him doubt his own mind .. he's just lost pretty much all his confidence and can't figure the world or his mind ... OCD has so got a hold and traumatised him .. What can I do / say/ guide him to encourage him please? Any sufferers had a similar experience and found a way through to a better place ?What did your family/ friends say / do that helped and encouraged you to keep tyring and regain hope ? What did you do practically? I am running out of ideas - he rejects almost everything I suggest anyway .. but maybe it helps him just hang on and keep trying - he says it's as much as he can do to survive the day and he says he's just so so very tired - he sleeps a lot ( he has mental compulsions - I describe it as his brain is working double time - so no wonder he's exhausted!) . Any idea / resources .. anything will surely help ... just needs that one ' thing' that will instigate a positive change in the way he thinks about it all...and to bring joy into his life again. Many thanks

My son ( 28yrs , OCD 10 yrs - not working - stuck in room - zero friends/ life / living with parents / not seen psych / or therapy for 5 yrs / on sertraline and risperidone) is totally demoralised, dissatisfied with NHS and loosing hope . After a lot of effort encouraging him to at least see GP - GP gave him 40 mins of her time ! His faith restored that he'd been listened - she wrote a referral to psych there and then as son is almost pretty much suicidal. Answer came back - NO - wont see him as he's on max meds. OUTRAGIOUS in my view . Any ideas what to do next ? We could help him to go private ( for a bit ) - but the above just destroys his faith in the medical profession - and frankly given above rightfully so in my view. Plus he'll need to do therapy - his views on this are the same as he says the Michael Rutter Centre made him doubt his own mind .. he's just lost pretty much all his confidence and can't figure the world or his mind ... OCD has so got a hold and traumatised him .. What can I do / say/ guide him to encourage him please - running out of ideas and energy . Thank you

No need to say sorry Giuss. All very helpful and much appreciated. I'd dipped into some of these - not all - so thanks for the whole list! He'll probably need again too at some point again. He wants the psychiatrist first .... to review his diagnosis but there's less published on how to find the best one for the individual! THANK YOU AAGIN.

Thank you Angst . All very helpful. I didn't want to propose the OCD specialist centres ( which we know well) as 1) son wants to have a fresh review - i.e. his history says diagnosed OCD . ...and he doesn't want that to colour any other thinking. and 2) part of his ' trauma ' is how he felt the treatment for OCD was originally - he was treated at the Maudsley after several other failed treatments - he was very poorly and it was a very frightening time for him. He experienced depersonalisation /dissociation and I don't think he has still understood it objectively for what it was, despite many attempts to explain. The fear / trauma he feels just overwhelms the logical/ objective mind. I'll see how he gets on with both ways. a big task no matter either. thank you.

My son now has more complex needs having been diagnosed with OCD 10 yrs ago - he now 28 . He's very scared - as OCD makes you. He is willing to go back to the drawing board and wants to see a psychiatrist . Given how sceptical he has become about medics - psychs and therapists ( as they haven't 'cued' him and can seem to him to be apparently contradictory ) he is and scared he needs to get a good doctor - first off. What are the things he should consider please in selecting one ? Are there any available info sheets that address this query please? How can I help prepare him so he gets the best one for him and gets the best from the doctor / therapists - working as a team? I think from what my son says he needs a psych who gets: OCD depression - caused by OCD chronic pain - triggered by OCD - but at the root there was some historical injury - that apparently has heeled. considerations also - possibly trauma ( being ill with OCD is v traumatic - and he is very very scared ) - possibility of Autism - high functioning - that may have been masked in childhood - and OCD then came from it .. and some other life experiences: I see in reviewing the bios the doctors list their specialisms - getting all the above is tricky . But it seems to me he needs someone that is: - well rounded in comorbidities - especially gets OCD (and complex co morbidities) - AND really gets the holistic treatment of mind and body - 360 ! - who may not just patch over with meds! ( son already be on sertraline 200mg and risperidone for some years) - so can refer to the right therapist /s and really values them - Of course is properly qualified - thinking refer to the https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/members/public-members-list ? - is kind, wise, intelligent , empathetic - i.e. chemistry fit / bedside manner A big list - how can I best help guide my son .... there are hundreds to choose from .. but maybe not !? Son is in South London - thankfully! So a big choice - where / how to start the search? Any tips / reference sources welcome please. Many thanks X

My son now has more complex needs having been diagnosed with OCD 10 yrs ago - he now 28 . He's very scared - as OCD makes you. He is willing to go back to the drawing board and wants to see a psychiatrist . Given how sceptical he has become about medics - psychs and therapists ( as they haven't 'cued' him and can seem to him to be apparently contradictory ) he is and scared he needs to get a good doctor - first off. What are the things he should consider please in selecting one ? Are there any available info sheets that address this query please? How can I help prepare him so he gets the best one for him and gets the best from the doctor / therapists - working as a team? I think from what my son says he needs a psych who gets: OCD depression - caused by OCD chronic pain - triggered by OCD - but at the root there was some historical injury - that apparently has heeled. considerations also - possibly trauma ( being ill with OCD is v traumatic - and he is very very scared ) - possibility of Autism - high functioning - that may have been masked in childhood - and OCD then came from it .. and some other life experiences: I see in reviewing the bios the doctors list their specialisms - getting all the above is tricky . But it seems to me he needs someone that is: - well rounded in comorbidities - especially gets OCD (and complex co morbidities) - AND really gets the holistic treatment of mind and body - 360 ! - who may not just patch over with meds! ( son already be on sertraline 200mg and risperidone for some years) - so can refer to the right therapist /s and really values them - Of course is properly qualified - thinking refer to the https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/members/public-members-list ? - is kind, wise, intelligent , empathetic - i.e. chemistry fit / bedside manner A big list - how can I best help guide my son .... there are hundreds to choose from .. but maybe not !? Son is in South London - thankfully! So a big choice - where / how to start the search? Any tips / reference sources welcome please. Many thanks X

whoops - Please ignore my request on the psych - we are not allowed to .. Thanks

Thank you you both Angst and Snowbear .. get what you are saying ... both helpful to me. in helping my son .. .... . and it highlights the dilemma for my son ... he recognises that one 'system' can seem to be at odds with another ... and so he looses faith in any of them ! If only there was a simple one stop shop and perfect instant solution ( ahah!) . So what's the situation now - son knows he has to go back to a psychiatrist ( his therapist has told him to do so to continue therapy) - and son is willing to do so now . Needs to get a new review of his situation as since being diagnosed 10 yrs ago things have got more complicated ; and figure where to start , amongst the tangle of mind and body - since his OCD has got much worse it's so wrapped into him now bullying him and he is so scared. So I am figuring that a good approach will be for me to gently get him to think about what troubles him most / and least ... what being 'better' would look like ... and figure where best to start and so what psychiatrist to pick .. So that's what I now need to help him with - to think about logically - and get a good psych ... xing fingers. Small steps. ANY PSYCH REFERRLAS - WELCOEM PLEASE AND WHY . I'll be putting out another post on that ... MANY THANKS really appreciate

Has anyone any experience of their children / friends/ family suffering OCD and Somatic pain please? I'd be interested to learn more from you please., in the hope it can help me help my adult son who has suffered OCD/ depression and ' pain'; the last 10 yr - since he was 17 ... those critically precious years. ..the longer it goes on the more complicated it gets and more damaging. So we want to help him with giving him hope that there are ways forward to reclaim his life - which he is aware is ticking away , thanks to OCD! Here's why.. please read on. : I mean in 'pain' - a person suffering OCD also has physical pain? This physical pain may have been set by some actual physical ailment some time in the past but has continued and morphed into other areas when the physical cause is no longer present , but it is also from stress and anxiety ( so for example those of us that don't have OCD we may get a headache form the stress of seeing our oved ones suffer form OCD). As far as I understand it, somatic pain is what I have commonly understood as " Psychosomatic Pain - a pain disorder that is induced by excessive stress or mental issues. The pain originates from an issue in the psyche—such as depression, anxiety or different levels of stress—and then spreads to the muscular skeletal system of your body". For those that have not come across it .... it is a very 'real' pain .. and hugely debilitating - sending my son to bed for days at a time and stopping him from doing all the sports he loves - especially gym/ swimming/ climbing etc .. and that give him relief from OCD. Add to that it stops him from socialising, and studying or working .. so obviously depressing and destroying his confidence and self esteem. So .. he is bed bound for days in a week. -It's PANTS/ URGHH!!! This stops him from having the mental capacity to handle the therapy that might help - e.g. CBT/ ERP .... pain management etc.. etc .. even physio - as these events and his physical body response has made matters worse ... it's all a vicious circle. I have been reading " The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk plus the thinking of Dr Peter Levine ( see his book "Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma: The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences" ) .... because in many ways what my son has experienced with OCD ( has been properly diagnosed) is very much a trauma to him - especially as he also suffered depersonalisation and derealisation .. and has found himself doubting himself so much that he doubts his physical ability as well as his mental. From this I have seen the therapy - Somatic experiencing therapy . There are only a few practioners in the UK . It is not a stand alone treatment - can be done alongside others.. If you have any experience / any info / insight you have I'd be very very grateful please in the hope it will help us help him . And even if you haven't any experience - any ideas to help us encourage him to return to therapy and have some some trust in others ( trained/ qualified clinicians ) to help him - he is scared they will mess up his head even more than he thinks they already have - he has found he's been given conflicting / confusing advise . Many thanks all