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Ashley123

Bulletin Board User
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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    Male
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    UK

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  1. Thank you man. Yeah, it is so annoying! We know it's illogical but the doubt is just there. And yeah very true.
  2. Hi Gemma. Thank you for your insight on how you overcame your problem with gaming and I am glad you have sorted it. That's very true actually about your point of winning the lottery. You are right, I guess I just need to take that risk of playing the games and the anxiety will go down the more I play them. Avoidance isn't going to help me. It's scary but it's how to recover. Thanks!
  3. Thank you for the reply. It seems like I always doubt if ERP is the best option in recovery haha but that is part of the disorder. Well done on conquering your fear of that episode of Doctor Who. Appreciate it
  4. Yeah, I have done a search about gaming on the forums but didn't find anything similar to how mine works. I guess get right does describe it. I have other themes too but yeah this one affects my gaming. Thanks!
  5. Hi. I LOVE gaming. It is my favourite hobby. However, lately, my OCD has affected this (or I think it's my OCD). I just want to say this does sound ridiculous but you all know how convincing this OCD bully is. Well, I have magical thinking intrusive thoughts as well as some other types. An example of how gaming affects me is I fear that things that happen in games can affect me in real life. For example: In one of my all time favourite games, some items feel contaminated with bad luck or have bad meanings behind them. However, I have done some ERP for some of this and it has helped. In another game, I have to have full health and hunger when I log out otherwise it could affect me as a person in real life, I also have to have a safe house in the game with a roof etc. or I fear my house in real life will be affected. If I am playing a game and I go out to sea, I would fear that I would go out to sea in real life, so I have to log out in a safe place. I think there are tons more stuff but I am just giving some examples. Gaming is supposed to be fun and relaxing but it's far from that for me at the moment. I would love to be able to play games whenever I want and log out when I want and not worry about it. Another way that I am affected is I worry about time/days. For example, I worry that once the clock hits 12:00am, my thoughts are locked in for life or that is when my thoughts will happen. This also occurs when I wake up from sleeping. I worry that when I wake up, that is when my intrusive thoughts will become real. I am just looking for some advice I guess. Is the best thing to do in this situation, to expose myself to the worry? For example log out of the game with only half health and half hunger? Go out to sea in the game and log out? It's so scary and draining I miss playing games. I just don't want to log out of a game in a 'non perfect state' and then go to sleep and wake up with the thoughts becoming real. I have had ERP and CBT but I dunno if that is the right thing to do. I guess it is maybe I'm looking for reassurance. This is such a tiring disorder.
  6. Thank you Gemma I appreciate it.
  7. Okay, so literally an obsession could be a worry of acting on something otherwise something else bad might happen? it just scared me as a compulsion is usually like something tame you know haha, but obviously I don't want to act on anything like this! And actually I've just finished reading that! It's a very good book and I have it to hand. I'm just going through grief at the moment so I guess my OCD has flared up. Thank you Gemma. I guess this is reassurance but sometimes I need it just to make good progress again.
  8. Hi Gemma, I didn't explain it well because I don't want to trigger myself too much as I'm not a fan of putting my thoughts out on forums too much as they are so scary to me. But this is what I mean: Typically you have a compulsion to prevent an obsession/intrusive thought (of any content), right? And you shouldn't do the compulsion. Well, I have a thought that consists of an intrusive thought as the compulsion and another intrusive thought to go with it, then I have a 'normal' compulsion underlying it. But I don't want to do the compulsion OR any intrusive thoughts... And I worry that if I don't do the compulsion, then one or both obsessions come true on a certain day etc. and will last forever or I will eventually be 'forced' to do one which I hope isn't true. But it's good to know that it's very common about the fear is normal. It also targets what I fear the most, it's horrible. I've had CBT in the past and I'm trying to use techniques but it's grabbed me bad lately.
  9. Hi angels. Ok, thank you. I seem to get lots of different thoughts and themes throughout the day, it is draining. It helps a lot. I appreciate it.
  10. Hi. I went to a funeral the other day and it's triggered me bad. I need some advice if possible. I get really scared because I get thoughts like: If I don't do something, then something will happen, but both of these somethings are bad. Is it possible to have two obsessions rather than a compulsion and obsession, but obviously not acting on any of these obsessions? I feel like I have a normal compulsion I can do but I know this makes it worse, so it's like two obsessions, maybe one compulsion. I also get thoughts that are like, if you don't do this, then the thought will be with you for the rest of your life, and that is how the thought manages to grab me because I don't want it there all the time. Has anyone had any similar experiences? I hope it's still OCD but I get so anxious. Thanks.
  11. I have been on Sertraline for almost 7 years. I have had almost 0 side effects. Or maybe I have but I've been on them so long I can't tell. Sertraline helps to calm the OCD a bit so I can work on CBT a bit easier and take more risks with doubts.
  12. Ah, that makes absolute sense dksea. Thank you for clearing that up. I completely understand where you are coming from. It's weird because I feel like I have read that book but can't find it or recall it much. I think I remember reading about those four steps before. Break Free From OCD so far I have found to be outstanding. It has made me think about how I approach my OCD in different ways I had never thought about before. It's so good I might buy it once I return it so I can refresh myself if I ever get stuck. Thanks
  13. I pretty much know how my OCD works at this point but it still grabs me which is annoying. But it's nice to know about that template. Will take a look
  14. Good to hear about this book, hopefully I can learn some things. I like that idea, I might make some notes of the top sections I've found in books and maybe sticky note them on my wall as a reminder, not for reassurance. Just things like: Thoughts are thoughts, actions are what matter etc. Maybe that is reassurance in itself though...
  15. Okay, that sounds good! I'm going to pick up Break Free From OCD at my local library today and have a read of that. I heard good and bad things about brainlock saying that the second step of the method taught can be considered reassurance, and OCDUK seems to recommend Break Free From OCD the most. I'll make notes as I read. Thanks
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