lonelygirl91

I'm having a really hard time. My mind keeps convincing me that I've done something wrong and that I'm going to go to prison. Does Google filter out illegal content or can you still come across it and get in trouble?

Thanks for the advise Taurean. I'm trying to take my mind off this and go about my day .

Thanks for the advise Taurean. I still can't help thinking what if I've done something wrong. I've been googling if Google images are accurately filtered and if illegal content is properly blocked. Should I report the posts by the underage persons? Though I don't want to click on those posts or images. I'm worried what if any of the pictures of the male members I saw belonged to those who are underaged and I didn't know about it and have no way of knowing.

But people have gotten in trouble for googling certain things. Not everything is filtered on Google it seems.

I was looking online for some d*ck pics. Occasionally I look at them for curiosity and to compare sizes to guys I'm dating. I lookes on Google images at pics. I'm worried what if the guys who posted the pics are underage and I've been unknowingly looking at d*ck pics of underage guys. There's no way of knowing. I saw under some photos (they were marked with a warning)that guys stated their age and were clearly underage!! Obviously I didn't click on those pics. Should I report them? I know why it's even allowed. Even when I searched into Google things like "d*ck sizes" the search came up with things like quora articles there are teens asking about the size of their d*ck. Why is it coming up with search results like that when I only want to see d*ck pics of adult men? I'm worried the police will come knocking on my door.

Thanks for your reply gingebreadgirl. I'm trying to leave this question alone and get on with my life. I don't think there's even one OCD theme that brings any certainty. Exercise helps me to not focus on my obsessions and keeping busy helps x

I'm a SO-OCD sufferer (sexual orientation ocd) or other known as HOCD. I've had fear for years about being lesbian or bi. Now I read about this new sexuality which really spiked me called abrosexuality which is when someone's sexual orientation is fluid and can change from day to day. This woman said some days she felt attracted to women, other days to men and some days she felt asexual. It really spiked me and it made me think what if that's the case with me??? I had never heard of this sexuality in my life! I've suffered with SO-OCD for years but I know I'm straight (at least I hope so). I go through periods where I'm not interested in any men or in sex (usually when I feel depressed, not confident in myself or I just haven't seen any guys that I like). Other times I feel like myself and if I see a guy I fancy, I'm really into him. It depends on my mind. Exercise and feeling good within myself help the desire come back. On my bad days when I don't have any desire my OCD thoughts about being lesbian or bi plague me (maybe that's why my interest in men is low). OCD has always been in the background especially HOCD. I try to switch it off and not engage with it. I've learnt to live with OCD though I still get bad flare ups.

Sorry for the late reply. I think it was lice or some insects as my arm was mega itchy. The urine showed a mild infection but I have to do another sample next week to see if it's cleared up. I'm trying not to think about the dog. I love dogs but they can be a bit scary. My neighbors dog is sweet but sometimes he barks at me for no reason. I was taking the rubbish out and be starting barking. His owner said it was because he was hoping there were food scraps in there.

I went on holiday and felt a lot better. I was able to take my mind off things. I think that a vacation did me some good. However, now I have health anxiety. On the last day of my holiday, I had blood in urine and freaked out. I went to a doctor when I got back and they said that it's very unlikely it's cancer (my fear) because of my age and the doctor thinks that the combination of exhaustion and jetlag caused an infection so he gave me antibiotics. My friends and family think I shouldn't worry. I'm worrying a bit less now but now worrying about rabies now. I went to New York and petted a dog in a grocery store (the dog had an owner who was busy packing groceries). At first the dog was friendly. I asked for the paw and it gave me its paw. It only scratched me lightly when it did so, not breaking the skin. The dog then started barking at me. My friend thinks it's because I didn't have treats when it gave me the paw. I'm worried what if it had rabies? My friend thinks it's very unlikely because the dog wasn't homeless and had an owner. I met a guy who had a rabies shot after he got attacked by a dog (this dog had an owner). I don't know why he'd gotten a rabies shot as usually the animal is observed and if they don't show signs of rabies after a few days, a rabies shot isn't necessary. The dog didn't break the skin but now my hand where it gave me the paw is really itchy. It was fine before..I didn't notice any marks or scratches.

I've got friends who I'm going to invite over. I've got my brother and sister in law but I don't think I'll see them much as they're always busy with work and tired. My brother is coming to watch the Coronation with me though. I'll also see if there are any events going on. I'm in a fortunate position that I have a big social circle and within my circle there are lots of events. A few years ago I hardly had any friends so I'm very lucky. And of course I've got my cats though they're not the most chatty .

I'm feeling a bit better. I don't know if this sudden worsening of my condition is because of stress. My mum is going away for three months and I always miss her when she goes for so long. I often feel lonely as it's just me and the cats at home. Could this be a cause for the worsening of my OCD?

But you said that groinals aren't physically pleasant. Sometimes they're not unpleasant either but I don't want them because I don't feel mentally aroused. Under the right circumstances they might be enjoyable. I don't know.

I felt a bit spiked because sometimes it feels like these groinals could be pleasant physically especially if I touched myself (which I don't do) and it feels very sensitive. Physically it doesn't always feel unpleasant but sometimes the sensation is annoying. Is there something wrong with me? The most frustrating thing is I don't want them and it feels like an itch that can't be scratched and a build up of pressure. Is this still OCD or am I really a sexual deviant. I read that some groinal responses can cause orgasm (I don't have that). It's like persistent genital arousal syndrome where you don't feel aroused mentally but have these physical sensations.

Exactly! I wanted to thank everyone here for their support. It's been so tough especially as this is a new ocf theme and it's been tough as I haven't experienced such groinals before but then again OCD is unpredictable and you can develop new themes and sensations at the drop of a hat. Today was a better day. I still had groinals but I'm trying not to think about them or pay attention to them. The only problem now is that I dread sexual activity in the future as I'll associate these sensations with OCD. I've heard of people who say the OCD has ruined their sex life (in the past it didn't help either with my SO-OCD). Are there are tips on how to separate these genuine arousals from anxiety OCD related groinals especially when it comes to sex/sexual activity?

It's a relief to hear that others can relate exactly to what I'm going through. I also read that the genital region is the most sensitive of all and the hyperfocus on it makes it a lot worse. I'm just trying not to engage and think about the groinals.