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About Danielle_l

  • Birthday 17/08/1987

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    Food, traveling, cooking, emotional wellbeing, mental health, family, friends, my fiancée and my dogs ?

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  1. Hey @SB21 I slept a bit better last night with no sleeping tablets so today feels better just because I'm not so tired. Thanks for asking, how's your day so far? i really really do recommend meditation so if you're open minded to it I can give you some information and some resources I've found helpful. It doesn't work overnight and you have to persist with practice - practice makes permanent. At first I felt silly doing it but it has gotten me out of some really hard situations and has kept me going these weeks whilst I've increased my meds. I actually really enjoy it now, too, and look forward to the effect it has on me. I started off with 10 minute meditations and then now I usually meditate for a minimum of 30 mins at a time and it's now part of my bed time routine. Better than watching tv or playing on my phone! Thanks for the heads up on Lost's post btw it has really helped. i have a good resource on accepting uncertainty you may find useful. Everything to do with work that you're saying is actually not to do with work but is more about the fact you are demanding certainty from yourself in 'not failing them' - let me know if you want that resource too. It was recommended to me by my therapist and is another weapon in my arsenal against OCD. I have a few now. I used to be in senior management and actually part of the responsibility I felt in that role (I think) contributed to the issues I faced with my OCD. I wasn't thinking about things sensibly or reasonably, and put a ton of pressure on myself to constantly achieve and succeed. I did both of those things but burnt myself out. Remember, what use to your staff are you if you're not well in yourself? So what if you don't hit the expectation you set yourself? Its really good btw that you're doing well at stopping your compulsions. That is part of the battle. Everything has to come piece by piece. My therapist told me that if I can use a technique and get even 15 seconds break from my thoughts then that's a massive achievement so I remind myself of that when I'm feeling a bit shakey. Danielle x
  2. Hi @SB21, Take heed of your doctors advice regarding work. Be sure to be kind to yourself and not give yourself a hard time. Now is the time to focus on yourself. In terms of your new boss and unsettled staff - they are all adults. I've found that my OCD gives me an over inflated sense of responsibility.. ask yourself whether you really must worry about them at the moment? I do recognise most of this is down to my fluoxetine increase but just the length of time it's gone on makes me worry it's not that, and more like my tablets just aren't working. I practice meditation all the time and it really helps. It's the only time during the day that I get actual space from the way I feel. Do you ever try it? It takes time to master but has proved at times to be the only thing that can help. I also start the day by telling myself 'today might be a good day' - this limits the amount of time I spend worrying whether today will be good or bad (black and white thinking). and I also just take one day at a time when I'm bad like this.. I literally say to myself 'today is Sunday' and just leave it at that. I'm only a few sessions in to CBT so haven't learnt a huge amount yet, but I am practicing what I've learnt as much as I can. i really hope you settle in to your increase soon, too. And wish you warmth and good vibes!
  3. Sorry to hear you've been off sick. I too was off for a while when I had my first big onset last year, I returned to work in April and it has been wonderful. In fact on my worst days if it's a weekend day I always end up wishing I was at work as it's a good distraction and the day goes fast. With this particular increase I've had a few scary moments with potential new obsessions - I.e obsessions I've never had before. And I've been like a scared little baby I've been so agitated at times, and that really is not usual for me. I managed to use techniques I learnt at CBT on the new obsession / worries though and they have begun to subside. My first and worst obsession is still strong though at the moment. My CBT therapist has asked me to focus on my need for certainty recently, as all my obsessive worries are based around demanding certainty. I'm new to therapy so haven't mastered it yet.
  4. Some people seem to get just one or two of the side effects. I get all of them! Sounds like you do too hun. Hope you're okay.
  5. Thanks for the support hun. Yes I think I know what you mean - my agitation and anxiety has definitely been up for the last couple of weeks (more so than when I initially increased). I think I read somewhere that with fluox it can go up and down after the initial introduction of the medication, until it settles down. But it drives my OCD wild - literally makes me feel like I must be going mad / getting really unwell / ruminating!
  6. Hi @avo, sorry I haven't replied to your message yet. My head has been a bit of a shed. When I initially moved from Sertraline to Fluoxetine I felt like I could feel a difference straight away, that was on an equivalent dosage to the Sertraline I was on. It felt different to my Sertraline - I felt calmer and had a few really good weeks. It was short lived however as I ended up needing to increase about 3 weeks later. I had quite a big relapse as it was approaching the time of year I first became unwell (didn't think it was because of the fluox). I had already started getting nervous before I made the switch. And that was 5 weeks ago. But when you're so sleep deprived it's hard to know what's right and what's just because you're so tired?! I had a better night's sleep about three nights ago and I had a much better few days after that. Then last night barely slept again and now today I just feel ****. But like I said, these same things troubled me when I first started my anti-depressant journey. Sleep and agitation were the last things to calm down.
  7. Hi @SB21 thanks for your reply. Sorry to hear you've struggled with fluox too. I'm almost 30 and have never used anti-deps before last year so I still find it hard to know whether they're working or not? I'm definitely going to call my GP on Monday because I literally can not cope with the lack of sleep. Lack of sleep always makes everything worse doesn't it?! That's what I mean.. I'm so tired I don't know if it's that it makes my OCD worse or just actually the fluox isn't working lol. I'll keep you updated.
  8. Definitely struggling Phil. Hope you're okay.
  9. Hi everyone, I had my fluoxetine increased from 20 to 40mg almost 5 weeks ago and am struggling with the worst side effects.. increased agitation, shaking, sweating, nausea, vomiting, insomnia (4-5hrs sleep per night). I've been trying to be hopeful that these issues are because of the dosage increase, because this is exactly what happened when I first started anti depressants a year ago, and it took a good long while to wear off. But I'm losing faith in the fluoxetine now. I'm so tired I'm running on empty and I'm not sure what my next move should be. Doctors are quick to hand out medication but not to tell you how you'd know if it's even working. I was given some short term sleeping tablets when I increased but they've been almost useless. My other half thinks she can see a difference in me since I switched to Fluoxetine (had been on sertraline a long while)... but am just really struggling with this increase? Or are the meds just not working? It's so confusing.
  10. Do you practice any mindfulness or meditation to help train your brain in to staying 'in the present'? It's easy to get sucked inside scenarios that'll never occur inside your brain. When you begin to chase the thought and answer to it you're either ruminating or trying to neutralize the thought - both of which make it come back, and faster. The best thing you can do is to teach yourself some techniques to dismiss the thought as it arrives and then refocus on what you were doing. Try to tune in to your senses - what can you see around you? What colours? Smell? Is that a good smell or bad? Sound? Is that a song you like? Or the sound of a bus going by? Is it loud? How does your body feel today? Does any area feel different or achey? Are your shoes fitting comfortably? These are all the kinds of questions you can consider to re-engage your body back in to the present. Mindfulness takes practice, it doesn't happen overnight so the more you try the better you become at it. Really sorry to hear you're struggling but the more you dig in to those thoughts the worse they'll become. Deep breaths.. and carry on.. you must.
  11. It all sounds so logical when you see it written @taurean but the actual practice differs so much ? Thank you for clearing that up. I think I understand a bit better now. I'll digest overnight and discuss with my CBT therapist. Thank you
  12. Thank you Taurean, your post was definitely enlightening ☺️With my OCD I tend to check my 'feelings' to see whether I still feel the same (if I don't then I can panic). My checking is a form of evidence gathering for things not being right / going wrong / confirming my worst fears.. but the mental checking is so automatic I find the overall barrage really debilitating some days. From what you've said I've taken that actually I need to allow the checking to happen but not react to it? Is that right? I just get so confused about what works for which bit. Definitely something I want to discuss with my CBT therapist later this week.
  13. Hi Gerard, Thank you so much for your reply. I've used / still use the Headspace app myself and I'm pretty good with mindfulness / meditative practice. I definitely enjoy the benefits of a good walk, too. But when I'm lying in bed unable to sleep and then I start mentally checking myself I can't get up and go for a walk, and sometimes my anxiety is that bad that I can't focus well enough to meditate. I will continue to practice however! I know I can do this, I just don't always feel it. Sending you warmth and good wishes..
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