Just_Beat_It

Hi C I am sorry to hear that your son is going through a difficult time right now. It is good that he is starting to improve and I sincerely hope that he can get back on track. Unfortunately I cannot offer much experience of navigating the education system at your son's age. However, whilst I was at university OCD spiralled out of control for me, and severely impacted my life. I had to defer exams for a few months, and when I did eventually take them the University was able to put in place arrangements to help me manage my anxiety (more time, a room away from other students etc). All I had to do was get some information from my GP and that was that. In the end I got through my exams and came away with two post-grad degrees. What got me there was medication, CBT and support from my family (I had to move back in with them for a while and they were great). It sounds as though your son is receiving good support so I truly hope things work out for him. I suspect you have thought of this already, but have you spoken with CAMHS or your son's GP about the impact that everything is having on his education? I am sure they will have experienced similar situations in the past. If they cannot help, they may be able to point you in the direction of someone who can.

Thanks for your reply. I work during the day but I have been working from home since March so I have become very isolated which hasn't helped. Other than work I can't find it in me to do anything other than watch TV and play on my Xbox. Before lockdown I was dealing with depression quite well by going to the gym and out for coffee with my family - things that feel daunting now. I might try and go for a short walk after work and see if that helps.

My brother died several years ago (suicide) after which my mental health deteriorated quite badly. OCD completely swamped my life so I ended up moving back home with my parents. OCD is still a problem but I have been struggling more with depression in the last couple of years and it is starting to get really bad. I have suicidal thoughts pretty much every day right now which is tough to deal with. I am on a lot of medication (Pregabalin, Mirtazapine and Venlafaxine) and am going through CBT for the third time. I previously put in a lot of effort in order to deal with OCD and depression but I have taken so many steps backwards in the last few months it is so demoralising and I have lost all the motivation I previously had. My therapist knows about the problems I am having but I don't have anyone else to talk to, so thought I would vent on this forum. My parents know I am struggling but I don't think they know just how bad things have gotten (I haven't told them about the suicidal thoughts - I debated telling them but decided against it since it would create a huge amount of worry for them). Thanks for reading.

Has anyone ever watched the TV Show ‘Criminal Minds’? I have been watching the box set recently and the portrayal of OCD in it is appalling. For those you who don’t know, it is a fictional programme centred around the FBI’s behavioural analysis unit. They use profiling in order to track down serial killers. In the TV show they tend to analyse the minds of the killers typically focusing on psychosis and schizophrenia and the like. In season one, they were tracking down a serial killer who was killing because she had OCD. The killer’s OCD was around religion and the number three - essentially, if there is a convergence of three threes (such as the time and date, 3rd March at 3pm) she would have to kill. I gave them the benefit of the doubt after that episode and continued watching. I have just watched an episode in the fourth season which is pretty awful too. The episode starts by showing the killer performing ritualistic behaviours associated with OCD - such as repeatedly opening and closing doors, stepping over cracks on pavements, excessive cleanliness and excessive orderliness etc. Apparently he is “obsessive compulsive” and the show suggests that OCD is what is causing him to kill. It is frustrating to see OCD being used in this manner when, as far as I am aware, there is absolutely no evidence that OCD causes someone to kill. I usually don’t let this sort of thing get to me but this one has really annoyed me.

I agree with your doctor that you should continue to drive on highways. Over time you should get used to it and the anxiety shouldn't be as bad. To start with, perhaps you could pick a time that the roads are relatively quiet and then build up from there. The best treatment for OCD is CBT - did you doctor discuss this with you?

Sorry to hear about your difficulties. Yes, it absolutely can get better. If you haven't already, I suggest that you speak to your GP about getting a referral for CBT. I have many of the same issues as you, and CBT has helped me a lot. There is typically a waiting time for CBT so you may consider buying a 'self-help' book which should help you whilst you wait. Break Free From OCD is one of the best.

If your mental health issues are classed as a disability, I believe your university has a legal responsibility, under the Equality Act, to provide you with reasonable adjustments. I have been at a few universities and, in my experience, requests for reasonable adjustments don't go through lecturers. Most universities have a health and wellbeing department and the requests usually go through them. If you haven't already, try and find some information on your universities' website about reasonable adjustments/extenuating circumstances and hopefully that will direct you to the appropriate department. I should also reiterate ivybasil's comment about perfection. When I was at university I was obsessed with everything being perfect which didn't help my wellbeing at all. I learned to accept (begrudgingly) that perfection is an unrealistic expectation and that making one or two mistakes isn't the end of the world. Don't worry about your work being perfect, just have a good go at it. If you pass, fantastic. If you don't, you won't be alone, and should be able to resit the assessment.

I am sorry to hear about your troubles. Have you spoken to your university about what you are going through? I have been where you are and my university provided me with some excellent support which included more time in which to complete coursework and extra time in exams. If you haven't already, speak to your GP about CBT. The therapist should be able to provide you with some good tools for you to use to make sure that anxiety doesn't get in the way of your studies. It is easier said than done, but set aside a few hours tomorrow to get started. If you give it a good go then you give yourself a chance of doing really well and you can also be proud of the fact that, despite what OCD puts you through, you tried. Also, once you have made some progress, make sure you take some time to do something you enjoy and take your mind off your deadline.