Tealight

Oh wow. That sounds so amazing! I'm just at the start of my recovery...have had 4 high intensity CBT sessions and have spent hour upon hour reading a wide range of books and information on the internet. I am in my late 40's and have worked out my OCD began when I was just 7 years old! Do you think I may find peace? My problem is with contamination OCD and the Covid situation has made me so ill that I am not off work on the sick! I'm just not sure how I can beat my OCD with covid ever present. My obsessions and compulsions seem more justified than ever! It's destroying my life - finances, time, relationships with family etc, etc. My doctor has prescribed me SSRI's but I am reluctant to take them. Any advice would be great. Thanks.

Yes they do! I'm still unsure of what will happen. Going to decide nearer the time. My parents want myself, husband and two children for Christmas lunch as always but I'm scared one of us could pass it to them! My brother and his 10 year old daughter are planning on coming along later but we've said not his wife and two teenage children as too many for the house as can't spread out. This sounds awful but they are nurses and work in hospital/care homes so risky. They have all had covid. My brother had it so bad that he ended up in intensive care on a ventilator and now has long covid. He is back at work in a hospital but gets tested a couple of times a week as people at work dropping like flies with covid! There are cases at my children's school too. This is horrible!

Yes...I'm sticking with the CBT. However, I am now causing a nightmare with my extended family, dictating the bubble thing as want to keep everyone safe. I think I'm just going to have to let everyone do as they wish and stay home on Christmas day and boxing day myself! Then again... if I'm not there how can I ensure they wash their hands and keep a safe distance apart. Nightmare!

That's a good point! Thanks for making me think of it that way.

Thanks. It's helping me make my mind up!

It's good to know that you haven't had side effects and are feeling a little better although a shame only slightly.I have read it can take up to 12 weeks to get full effect so let us know how you get on. I'm still on the fence.

Thanks. I'm still thinking about pros and cons. You're right, self help books can be very good.

Oh no! I guess I'm lucky (and unlucky) as was assessed as needing high level intensity CBT so haven't had to wait too long. I would contact them again or your doctor to see if they can do anything. I've read that the tablets can cause sleeping problems but I have't taken them yet so can't say from personal experience. Hope you can have CBT soon. I've found reading the book 'Break Free from OCD - Overcoming OCD with CBT' very informative and has helped me while waiting for my first CBT appointment. I'm also not working through the workbook 'The Beating OCD workbook' by Dr S Fitzgerald. My CBT therapist said that CBT is all about educating ourselves on how to be our own therapists. I've also bought a sleep band with built in earphones so can fall asleep listening to relaxation app which I have found better than the TV as need something to distract my mind. Just a thought.

Thanks. I have spoken to my doctor tonight who thinks I should give them a go...still thinking about it!

Thank you...that really helps.

Hi Tiger297, Thanks for your advice. Did the medicine make you worse mentally as that's my fear. I have good and bad days but I am not depressed...just incredibly anxious. ( I also have generalised anxiety disorder).I do find things to do I enjoy and can feel quite happy! I'm scared, taking medication, that I'll be robbed of these happy times eg lying in bath with my candles, lovely scented bubbles, a good book and a glass of wine! This makes me feel great...would hate it to become JUST having a bath! This forum is helping me a lot so thank you.

Ooops...still getting used to how to post on here...Sorry.

Hi Hdigtts, I feel a bit flat to be honest. I thought lots of things I'm struggling with would addressed but I guess there are so many that the CBT therapist is right to make me just focus on a few. I feel like this is going to take YEARS and I'll never fully manage it. Was feeling positive and on a roll but now disheartened. I don't blame CBT therapist....I've asked her about her experience with OCD etc...just think I was expecting too much too soon.

Thank you. Think I'll wait a bit before taking it as apprehensive about it. Scared it will stop me feeling moments of joy although less anxiety would be good.

Hi Tiger297, Thanks for sharing your experience. I've just had my first CBT telephone appointment. I think I'm going to give that a go first. My doctor is calling me tomorrow so will have a chat with her about it. I'm scared about the side effects especially as they say they are worse for first few weeks - don't want them over Christmas as need to enjoy that time! I'm glad you realised you didn't need the medicine.

Hi, I am off work sick as my contamination OCD is out of control. I have spent all day, every day during this time of absence reading about my OCD as I've learned that knowledge is power to beat this evil bully that I have had with me for 40 years! I don't know what adult life is like without it! As I'm not well at all, my doctor has prescribed Sertralin - I've never taken any medication for OCD before. I'm so reluctant to take it. I'm not depressed and can at times feel happy although the anxiety my OCD is causing me is crippling and I'm rarely leaving the house. Obviously, my OCD bully is telling me not to take the medication because if it works, I'll not do all of my obsessive cleaning rituals and myself and my family will get really ill and my elderly parents will die - all my fault. I start CBT tomorrow with NHS (on Phone) but has anyone got any advice about Sertraline? I like a glass or two of wine in the evening as it helps me switch off but will I really need to stop this? I only went to my doctors a few weeks ago about OCD as I'd never mentioned to them before but work could see I was not well and said I needed help. Any advice much appreciated as scared to take them! (50 mg daily)

I spoke to my doctor who has prescribed me some SSRIs but I still haven't the courage to leave to house to collect them from the chemist as it's a germ riddled place! ?I'm not sure which ones they are but I've decided to give them a go.I can't continue like this anymore. It's great that they work for you so hopefully they will for me too. I start CBT on Tuesday too so ?

Will do ??

Hi Gary, Thanks for your message. I noticed you said 'severe' OCD.......from my continued reading of OCD books today, I have only just realised that I do have it severe which is pretty alarming....as is the fact it's getting worse rapidly! I have also been reading about delusional thoughts and OCD so I think I can see how antipsycotic meds could be a possibility too. I also sufferer from Generalised Anxiety Disorder so could benefit that also. My doctor is calling me today so will start with an SSRI first. I am learning as much as I can about CBT but can't see how on earth I can do the behaviour experiments/ERP with Covid as I really am putting myself and others in danger if I let any of my washing/cleaning stop.Also can't see how I can return to teaching in nursery as I just see it as a germ hell! Hopefully some meds may help with this thinking! I had a call earlier and my talking therapy is due to start next week. Take care and thank you for your advice. I'll update soon.

Thank you. I'm going to read more about medication now in preparation for speaking with my doctor tomorrow. Good that yours is helping keep things controlled. I have read coming off medication with OCD not good as can relapse. Take care and thanks.

Hi Hdiggts, Thanks for getting back to me. Every day that goes by my contamination OCD is spiralling out of control. Since being sent home from work as deemed 'unfit for work' due to it - it is destroying me. I'm usually quite up beat (despite the terrible worry!) but now I feel I'm a failure and can't see how I will ever set foot in my school again. I've always (so I thought) managed my OCD but being put in Nursery plus Covid has blown my mind! I now can't even go to my local shop and spend hours washing my food delivery! I wash my hands over 100 time a day - they are sore! I don't really leave the house and wish I could keep my own children off school as think they are going to bring it home! Have so many cleaning rituals now for their school stuff as they need to go to school (and I really want them too) but it's a struggle - feel like they are walking germs! Thank God my husband is working from home but dreading that ending too! OCD is taking up every minute of the day in so many ways. Do you think medication will help (I'm awaiting CBT). How does it make you feel? Does it cloud your thinking or judgement? To be honest, my thinking couldn't really be more clouded than it is now! Are you primary/secondary? Is your med for contamination OCD? Which one has worked for you....I'm assuming an SSRI? Any help appreciated!!

Hi dksea, Thanks for your message. It's great to hear from someone who has used medication and it worked. My doctor is calling me tomorrow so think I will discuss it with her as she had sent me some information to read about it. I am still waiting for CBT to begin and it may be a while yet! I am reading some good books and doing my own CBT activities in the meantime but I am worried about my job. I guess while I am off sick is the best time to try medication incase it doesn't agree with me. I need to be mentally sound if I'm to go back to teaching! I'm just scared it's going to make me feel numb? How did it make you feel? Do you still take a maintenance dose?

Hi Symps07, Thanks for your message. That's a good idea listing obsessions in order from those least troubling to those most crippling...I'm going to do that. Like the idea of one step at a time - think I might actually draw a staircase to fill in! Covid is of course scaring me (and millions of others now) and it's making us worse due to being told to wear masks and wash hands but your're right----it's the OCD contamination thing of the moment! I remember as a teenager being terrified of AIDS! Bird flu, BSE (Mad Cow Disease) were 'biggies' and EBOLA...blimey! Nuclear contamination was a big thing for me as as teen....remember collecting over 200 signatures to ban weapons and testing and sent to 10 Downing Street...and watching the animation 'When the Wind Blows' over and over about Nuclear contamination! Oh and food....was terrified of food poisoning.....hardly are anything! I just can't believe I have suffered from OCD my entire life...I just thought it was me...who I am. Can't wait to at least have a little freedom! Thinking I might need medication even though I really don't want to take any but I am at the stage that I' m scared to leave the house!!! You stay strong and any more tips much appreciated!

Hi Linz, Thanks for getting back to me. I've just had a look at my PPE/cleaning/sanitising collection...it's crazy especially as I am now too scared to leave the house! It was being in nursery for the first time properly with germs EVERYWHERE! Far too many bodily fluids and I had to constantly touch things. It sent me over the edge and PPE and related products were the way I thought I could control it...but of course I now know how much OCD was/is controlling me! I am sure that I can be much better than I am now but know can't get as better as I'd like when I'm constantly bombarded with Covid! I'm going to have a chat with my doctor on Wednesday about meds as I don't think I have a choice anymore!! Well done you for what to are doing to help everyone else....you are a star!

Hi Angst, Thanks for getting back in touch. Medical suspension is good (apparently) as it does not count towards your sick record and you are paid as normal...although I don't like the sound of suspension! The NUT have said a doctor's sick note over-rides this so that ship has sailed - I've got to let it go! I know that I have 6 months full pay on the sick so that's a temporary relief - as is the fact I don't think I'm in any trouble! Unfortunately I was off work ill two years ago. (I'd hardly had a day off in the previous 20 years!) My head teacher suddenly changed my job drastically at the end of the summer term and expected me to take on the new role with no training or support at all! Over the summer holidays I was so worried and became very ill with a bowel condition....I'll not give you details!! Anyway, after investigations, luckily I didn't have anything sinister (Microscopic Colitis - which is still not good) but cutting a long story short it seemed that my physical body was trying to tell me that it was my mental health that was the problem and was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. I had talking therapies and embraced CBT which did work a bit. I explained to the therapist that I had OCD problems but they said one thing at a time! I really wish the therapist had taking this seriously as contamination OCD is my main lifelong problem...and this was before Covid-19! After returning to work, I had been coping fine with this role up until Lockdown in March. After that I continued to teach from home, write reports etc and all was fine. Then....just as I was settled into this new role my head pulled the rug from under my feet and changed my job AGAIN! Nursery is so different in too many ways to think about - especially in regards to contamination!! It's just too much with a stressful home life too! I am going to explain to my doctor on Wednesday that I need to be on the secondary level and referred to a psychologist/psychiatrist for official diagnosis - this is apparently on my medical notes as a possibility anyway. Then I will have protection as I have read that OCD is a disability and will be able to access the skilled help I need (fingers crossed!) Thanks for getting back to me...I've never done anything like this before but knowing people are out there to help is comforting! Have a super weekend!