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Cookiedough

Bulletin Board User
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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    Female
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    UK

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  1. Hello all, Thank you very much for your replies. I am actively trying to reduce my toilet time, but my results keep fluctuating. Sometimes I’ll go to the toilet and take 35 minutes altogether (which is good for me). However, the next time I go I’ll take 1 hour again. It’s so hard to be consistent and so disappointing when I end up taking forever in there. I look at the clock before I enter the bathroom, then after I’m done I step out to look at the clock again. Then I calculate how long I was. The sections that take longest are wiping and hand washing. I’ve recently started using wipes in my toilet regimen (specifically when it’s a number 2) as I feel they clean better than just using toilet roll alone. Sometimes I don’t take long wiping, yet other times it’s the opposite. You know those poops where they are nearly impossible to wipe totally clean? Those have been happening lately, thus stealing more of my time wiping. A question: if you were to accidentally get poop on your hands, whilst wiping, how would you deal with it? Would you only feel the need to wash your hands once? Twice? I ask this because sometimes when I wipe, the exposing part of my hand touches my bum. Even though when I look at it my skin is clear- that part of my hand still feels contaminated. Therefore, inducing me to wash my hands more than I would like. I aim to only wash them once, but when this happens I wash them twice. Twice may not sound like forever, but the time each wash takes is too long. My hand washing takes about 30 minutes on its own. How long do you guys take to wash your hands after using the toilet? (If you don’t mind me asking). Detail would be appreciated as I am trying to use this as inspiration to not take so long.
  2. I’ve been struggling with ocd for months now and it is safe to say that it has taken over my life. One of my biggest issues is using the toilet. Each toilet trip literally takes 1 hour (going to the toilet + wiping + washing my hands). The areas that take the longest are the wiping and hand washing (since I do both excessively). If I don’t wipe enough I fear that I won’t be clean back there- thus the risk of smelling bad or staining my underwear, which I do not want to have to deal with). I’ve tried to challenge my thoughts by not wiping as much, however my ocd will convince me that I haven’t wiped enough- even if the toilet paper comes back clean. In addition, I use way too much toilet roll. The most I’ve used in a single toilet session is 2 whole rolls. I’m embarrassed at how wasteful this was, but this was the reality. After slight improvement, I now use about 1 roll (which I’m aware is still way too much). The other day, I tried to use 3-6 squares per wipe, yet that resulted in the toilet paper tearing mid- wipe. Thus, triggering my ocd and making me wash my hands for more time than I would’ve liked. I spend about 30 minutes washing my hands after taking a dump (washing them twice over). It use to be 3 times and I’ve reduced it to twice, but it’s still too long. I don’t enjoy washing my hands for so long, but I feel like I have too. If I don’t wash them enough I think: “What if there is poop on my hands, that I didn’t see, and it’s not completely washed away?” or “What if my hands smell?” I’m scared that I will go on to touch other objects, people and myself with contaminated hands. Even if I did accidentally touch faeces, is washing them once enough? Another weird habit I have is I tie my shirt in a knot on my chest (like a crop top) before I go toilet. I do this to avoid germs/faeces from going on my clothes as I sit on the toilet. I know this isn’t normal, however I don’t know what to do with my clothes when I use the bathroom. The other day, I tried tucking it under my chin, only for it to come undone before I was finished. I would try holding it with my other hand, but I use both hands to go toilet. I hate going to the toilet. A habit so mundane and normal is such a workout for me. There have been times where I’ve resisted the urge to go, causing me to pee myself because I knew I wouldn’t be back for another hour. I’m so tired of living this way. Help?
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