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Gary S

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  1. I watched an OCD therapist on YouTube today and normally find them very helpful. Today however, they told me most false memories begin with a question in your mind which then builds. My question, however, came like a elephant crashing through the forest. This has set me back a little thinking my false memories are true. Is it normal for questions to come out the blue with force and pain and utmost fear or build slowly?
  2. How do I know the feelings of anxiety I have are down to ocd and not just a guilty conscious? I'm pretty sure I havnt done anything to feel guilty about but my mind keeps telling me you wouldn't feel like this unless you've got something to feel guilty about!
  3. Polarbear, last question I promise! At the time I put the thought down to an intrusive thought. Why hours later did it revisit the thought and make something of it?
  4. I have posted a couple of times and found the answers and advice really helpful. 3 months ago I had a thought that at the time I put down to an intrusive thought. A few hours later I thought 'did I do that?' In my mind now I have 2 possible versions of events. One which I mentioned earlier, just putting it down to an intrusive thought and a second where my thought happened. It was that long ago I can't remember where this second scenario come from. I think I made it up while ruminating to see how my mind reacts. Does this really happen that people make scenarios up in their mind?
  5. Thanks very much. Read the whole lot too! Makes me feel much better
  6. I have just started my CBT treatment today. I am trying to stop my ruminating and compulsions. Is it normal to feel like you're giving up drugs or alcohol? My guilt and anxiety have gone through the roof, I feel like confessing all to everyone and cannot see light at the end of the tunnel. Is this normal?
  7. I think that's probably my fault Handy. I put a similar post on earlier in the week but because I'm new to the forum I put my name in the title and I don't think many people read it. I'm not sure if they're physical compulsions but the event happened 3 months ago. I check the local newspaper 4 times an hour to see if its in (this is reducing every day) and I've been back numerous times and reconstructed the event (which I havnt done in a week) Polar bear has already advised me not to do these things so I was just wondering if OCD could change its method of attack without looking for reassurance. My family have already changed from telling me I havnt done it and that's just not me to you might of as per the online videos. Looking forward to my appointment tomorrow with the therapist.
  8. I'm new to OCD, just been diagnosed and have my first appointment with a therapist this week. Usually my OCD changes real events that have occurred at work and catastrophises them and has me ended up losing my house, wife, children and ultimately in prison. This time however I had an intrusive thought about hurting a child I saw whilst out walking and then hours later thinking did that happen? Why would my OCD suddenly change and make up an event? Is this normal? The nature of the change has stopped me putting the event down to OCD. My mind thinks 'you have never made events up before so there must be some truth' Any suggestions?
  9. When I wake up from sleeping my anxiety runs riot. I am in a bad place for an hour. My thoughts take over and I find ruminating and carrying out my obsessions almost impossible to stop. This tends to ease as time passes but I dread going to bed. Is this normal?
  10. Thanks. This is all new to me. I have only just been diagnosed with OCD and talk to my first therapist next week. I didn't realise the checking etc cemented the ideas until the last few months. I thought I was just trying to make sense of it all. This is tough!
  11. I have had 5 or 6 episodes of OCD in the past couple of years. The first 4 were work based and although the OCD warped my memories of the events they were based on some truth. Just after Xmas I suffered a particularly bad attack leaving me highly depressed and barely able to function. Whilst out walking I had a thought of hurting someone I saw. At the time I remember thinking it's an intrusive thought and thought nothing else of it. A few hours later my head exploded and I thought did you do that? I am now wracked with guilt. I haver never had an OCD thought that was entirely made up so I am convinced I carried my thoughts out. I cannot stop thinking about it, checking news reports and even made a scenario up in my mind to see how my mind reacts. This now feels real. Is it possible my OCD has completely changed how it operates and made this up?
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