Dakagraphics-David

I recently bought a pair of Rollerblades... Okay, so I'm in my sixties, but I am young at heart... When out skating I don't have to make conversations or make eye contact with anyone... In fact, it is they who may something to me, or maybe not... I just giggle a reply, and keep going... I am not honor bound to even react to others around me and that sets me free... David

Enjoy

Maybe this is a 'Just wait and see that nothing untoward happens anyway.' But I would definitely see if I can get vouchers... But then, I just love ice cream! Don't avoid 'Ben and Jerry's', cos this kind of thing is very rare, fortunately. David

Hi there... It is a real struggle, but one day you'll be able to look back on this... Have a read of the other forums on the ocd-uk site, and get your son to have a read too... You never know, but maybe he'll find something he identifies with, and that can maybe be the first step on his journey to recovery... David

Okay ... Consider for a moment, that I am the patient, and that you are my therapist... What would you suggest for me, with your own unique take on the situation? David c

Our lives are made up of literally millions and millions of thoughts and experiences... all people are like this... How is it possible that one event, that may or may never have happened, can be the be all and end all of an entire life? We need to just let go... Just let go and focus on the literally millions and millions of good things about ourselves... Believe me, you and I aren't stupid, we simply care a little too much sometimes. David

This evening, I went out for a meal... As it is approaching half term holidays, so the youngsters are manic too. We just have to be patient. I'm pretty young at heart too. To fair, after the life I have come through, I basically just don't care anymore. I've spent years being conscientious, and it really didn't make that much difference... So, why worry? I believe that I bontaminate the world, in a good way and the world bontaminates me... In a good way... And that is good enough... Good enough... I'm still special, just as you are too... I can say that, even though we've never actually met... David

Hi there... I often wish I was guilt free, pure, innocent... But I'm not... In this life, absolutely no one gets to their sixties guilt free regardless of what those around us may say ... No one... Even Jesus got into trouble sometimes. We aren't perfect, but we are loveable rogues... A bit rough around the edges... I got up to stuff as a youngster, cos I was hungry... I was hungry... I leave it behind, I cannot change it, I'm human, faulty, and proud of being so... Faulty... Do you of anyone in your life who is perfect? Ever stolen a car? Smoked? Ever made a mistake and learnt from it? Just let it go... It is long gone now... David

My cbt therapist used to ask me to tell him what I considered to be on my clothing... Is it really that dangerous? My Jersey... Could it be the same as what is on his Jersey? Is his clothing dangerous? And if not, why? I found that I really couldn't answer him politely... How could I be so hazardous, and him not? Could I really have that much power or influence over those around me? I had to admit that I just couldn't say... There are books to help... Rob Willson and Rhena Branch, books available on Amazon. Also Dr David Burns has a book called 'Feeling good the new mood therapy'. It is available also on ebay. What happens when people kiss on the lips? Does it ever make anyone ill? And breathing... Is that really that clean? We seem to survive... David

Hi everyone... I'm trying very hard to be upbeat... I wish I could have some control over my dreams... During waking time, I use the cbt I have been taught, to prevent overthinking, and dwelling on stuff... But at night, my mind takes on a journey all its own. I wake up feeling a little tense... I grab a cup of coffee, and get dressed. Then get into my day... Gradually, things get a little easier as the day goes by... Okay, time to make another hot drink David

Okay... so far so good... The word is helping me too now... I sat in a Cafe this morning... Actually buttered some toast... On the way into the cafe, there was a sanitisation point. I used it just the once, then went to the toast bay. I used the tongs provided, the ones that everyone else has used, even the people who may not have sanitised their hands... But thousands of other people will be doing the same, and will have been doing so for years... It's a busy popular cafe. If anyone sued, the place would be closed down for sure. I think about this when I touch a door handle... But nor for long... As other people are saying, I work at not overthinking anything. And so far, it's working for me... I sure hope it lasts... David

Hi there... I sometimes think I hear swear words when sitting listening to a sermon... As to why, I don't know... If I try to stop them, they get worse! Maybe 'God' isn't radical enough to mind... The way mankind is treating the world, I guess it is surprising we haven't had another biblical style flood... With a thought about us visiting other worlds... If we knew about how they had tarnished their world, would we be pleased to welcome them here? In the past Martians were always baddies... We are human and fallible... It could be that, at some point in their lives, Everyone gets similar thoughts, although I guess few would openly admit to doing so... Especially people with vivid imaginations... David

Hi there, Well, I did some music, and so far, all is okay... I did a self test at home, because I was due to go blood donors... The test was, thankfully, negative, so I got to the session, to find out that I would need to reschedule... So, the son's flat was the place to go... Is that perfect? Well, three lads in a flat, like students... I think you get the picture... And you wouldn't be wrong! Tomorrow we are there again... And it will be a sausage and chip supper... Out of the wrappers, with no knives and forks... I don't put mayonnaise on it, cos, fair enough, that is just a little too messy, but hey, I can lick my fingers, and then wipe them dry on something... It has always been okay so far... If I don't overthink it, It will more than likely be okay... We can all try that... Eat a battered sausage with fingers, and wipe off the grease on the paper... We did it as children... To be honest, I eat the sausage first, it gives the chips a while to cool down a bit for handling!! Give it a go... Wash hands once only, before unwrapping the chips... They are then 'reasonably clean...' Let's give our immune systems and natural defences something to do... Even if only to help us fight off coughs and colds this winter... David

Hi there... This word is beginning to haunt me, and yet, for my own journey through Ocd, it does actually seem to help give a release from perpetual cleaning. I don't honestly know if it can be adapted perhaps for checking Ocd... To just check the door once only, knowing that I have done my public duty, to close a chiller cabinet door in a supermarket... I use the antibacterial gel in the entrance of a shop, just once only, to then know that I have done my duty, so if I touch an item on the display, it is not desperately important that I then purchase said item, to prevent anyone else getting something from me... Just using one plastic glove provided at the fuel station for the car... And that is only cos I don't want to get diesel fuel on my fingers when I'm eating chocolate... Petrol evaporates off, but Diesel... Ugh! And what about cuddly toys? I buy those sometimes for my desk... What's already on them when I get them home? I really don't know, or, to be honest, care, cos I have resistance... My grandchildren handle far worse in the course of a day at school... Okay, Let's see how this thing goes... David

Hi there all... Has anyone noticed that we have started to come down with other new illnesses? It is weird... But the common cold seems to be going on for longer periods... There are other things not necessarily linked to Covid... People getting rashes on their hands... I wonder if this has anything to do with the amount of antibac products we've been using... We've been going around surgically clean for months... Are we losing our natural defences? I sure hope not... It has taken centuries to get us where we were before Covid19 took over our world... Christmas is looming... That combined with the finish of the Covid19 payment... And there is something filtering through, about the change in entitlement to free prescriptions... I'm concerned that I may have to stop having medicine... I'm on two, one which is such a low dose I could probably stop, but I'm on Prozac, and have been for quite a while... Reducing it will make no difference to the cost... This is scary... Our church leader mentioned a good idea yesterday... The idea of a 'Gratitude jar'... Where, on a good day, we write down things we are gratedul for, so that on a 'low' day, we can look in the jar, and be lifted by what we have written down on paper etc, and shoved in the jar... I'm gonna try and sort out an evening meal in a mo... It falls to me to do most of the cooking these days, as I'm a full time carer for my other half... I like choosing the menu... It gives me a sense of selfworth. I drink gallons of Coffee, not necessarily a good thing, but I love the taste... It is only instant, so not very strong... I've just noticed the state of my mobile phone case... It is getting threadbare and tattered... I remember that, a few years ago, I would antibacterial spray the slightest spec of dust on anything I touched... Well, the phone case is virtually fabric now... What could be on it? I really don't know, save to say I haven't cleaned or sprayed it in months... And so far, no illness... And I guess I touch the phone at least three or four times an hour... So that is good... Maybe I do 'Bontaminate' it, in a good way... I don't wash or gel my hands much now, only after using the loo, or entering a store where they have the Gel at the entrance because of Covid regulations... I no longer carry gel, It's just too much trouble to have stuff like that in my pocket... I found out yesterday, that my other half carries it, but I wilfully resist the urge to use hers... I will try and get to playing my keyboard system this evening... I just love the sound it makes... I've been playing for a very long time... Okay... I must stop now... Time to get the evening meal prepared... David

I would add that, I'm still very much a 'work in progress'. I still have my 'down' days, but they pass... The good times are much more noticeable now... A book to have a look at is 'Overcoming Compulsive washing' , by Paul R. Mumford, and also 'Overcoming Obsessive compulsive disorder, A self help guide using Cognitive behavioural techniques', By David Veale (Not me!) and Rob Willson. Both are available from Amazon. David

Hi there... But these things have been around us since the year dot... Evidence suggests that, as babies and toddlers we crawl around on the floor, and develop resistance to the things in and around us, and they do okay... It is part of nature... We live in a 'dirty' world, and have done for generations... Is it really that dangerous? Honestly? If someone around us were to say, get tummy ache... How could anyone be certain as to had caused it? They already have these things on them already... To be fair, we actually need to have contact with these things, to strengthen our bodily defences... Other people around us have already got this on them, before we even walk into the same room... So we are not to blame, or responsible for keeping others safe from this... This isn't reassurance, but about letting go... Letting go of all the stress that piles on top of us, if we even attempt to be surgically clean... Which by the way, kills off the good germs too... I also used Beck's depression inventory during my treatment for anxiety and depression, it is a useful measure of how well we are progressing through treatment. A good CBT book may help... That is what got me to where I am today...

Hi there... Maybe the principle/technique can be adapted, to apply the same sort of release from the thoughts... Such as, checking... My OCD is contamination, and checking... So that is the approach I am using... It's not a magic solution... I try to use it for tangible things, like touch... I reckon that, relationships could be an interesting ball game... What do you feel about this? I do believe it is something that can be worked with... David

Hi there... I believe it is an important part of our biology to be attracted to the opposite sex... It is necessary for the survival of the species, an innate part of our psyche that we basically have only limited control over... In years gone by, the mortality rate was very high, so people would have large families to compensate... I'm in my sixties, and definitely look, but don't touch... I'm a happily married man, and have my wife's permission to say so! But I do know that she will look at other fellas, sometimes it is sort of reliving the thoughts we had when we were teenagers, and in our twenties and thirties... Humans are still part of the 'animal' kingdom... We need air and water and food to survive... She likes to go to the swimming pool, I like to go to the gym. You are surely free to look around? Explore the feelings/sensations? We are natural beings... We have kept a lot of the things that protected us in the past... The fight or flight response is a classic one... The number of times I've been in a situation where I have adrenaline blasting around inside me, with no immediate need to run... I'm aware that, in some of my social groups, people of my age will come up to me to say hello, but that is all they do. I'm the same... Will speak to most people, but not go any further... But, Isn't that normal and healthy? David

Hi there, All the best for the future Michael. Basically, for me, this seems to have pulled the rug out from under my intrusive thoughts... Sort of just, taken their power away... Hopefully it will last. In the meantime I'm trying to get on with things, and make up for the awful damage Ocd has done to me over the years... I lost my job in care work, and gave up driving the car... I still don't drive alone... So there is now no way I can 'Just pop back and have a quick check, just to make sure, one more time...' My other half is in the car, so if anything had happened, they'd probably no it before I did... The intrusive thoughts are much quieter now... I've called their bluff on numerous occassions, and written it down, so I can refer to it often. Especially when I'm having a 'bad' day... They always pass... David

Hi everyone... This evening, has been a weird one... I've just spotted a book on my bookshelf, called 'Overcoming Compulsive washing... By Paul R Munford. Now, I don't know if any of you have actually read it, but the lengths that the writer experiments go, would stop even me! But, the fact that the experiments are even possible, reduce my fears considerably... I won't do the tasks... But trust the writer, that the tasks are safe... Which helps to disarm a lot of my daily struggle. If they can do it, then I maybe should be able to, but choose not to... I use their evidence... And they are a professional in this field... They have credibility... Just as my CBT therapist had credibility... I could rely on their training and expertise... I've thought about trying to qualify, but I'm too old, and the appropriate training is not available within daily travelling distance... Tonight, I will sleep... I know my pillow isn't perfectly clean... But it is reasonable... As a child my pillows were positively disgusting... It must have made me stronger... We didn't have antibacterial gels and sprays back then... And washing powder had a 'blue whitener' in it to make everything look clean... I've survived... And so has all the rest of my family... At school, we were made to sit cross-legged on the floor in assembly... Who knows what got on our hands and clothing... We'd just brush it all off with our hands... And there was absolutely no way that we could all wash our hands before dinner... And what about those tiny bottles of milk with the foil tops? David

Hi there... Maybe I have just given myself permission to actually let go of the compulsion to sterilise everything... To let go, and just let it be so... Maybe this could sort of 'short circuit', trip up, or disarm my intrusive thoughts and compulsion to worry about what is on say... That door handle... That chair... My clothes... It won't always work for me, but perhaps this is a pensive step in the right direction for me/us... It's a start... Let me try this today... My son has asked me to go and sort out his toilet cistern valve... It is making so much noise that he cannot sleep in his flat... Wish me luck... That was written yesterday... I handled tools, placed them on my lap in the car... In the end, we searched the flat for the main water inlet valve... We moved the fridge, the washer, I knelt on the floor a few times... in the end we had to call the landlord for help... I got back in the car... Nothing happened... No ill effects... Today, it was gym... Wearing the same track suit as for the last couple of weeks... What is on my clothing? Have I put anything on the treadmill machine? I really don't know... But the only antibacterials in the building were sprays, so that we could use a piece of kitchen roll, to wipe down the handles after use... That was all... Nothing to clean our hands with... And that was the same for everyone else there... I met my other half in the cafe... Had a latte, and biscotti biscuit... With my fingers... Will I get ill? Everyone else was doing exactly the same as me... Will any of them get ill? I guess not, with the concrete evidence so far... No they won't, at least, not from me... And that realisation is incredibly relaxing... I'm not to blame... That is just one thing I can gladly relax about... There are things that worry me, but this is at least a start... And the best way to get something done is to 'Simply begin...' I do a lot of shopping from Amazon... We have no way of knowing if anything is Contaminated/Bontaminated... How many people will have handled the parcel? What about the item inside the parcel? I mean, there is literally no way of cleaning it, it is an electric fan heater... When I switch it on, What will it blow into my room? I don't know... But what I do know, is that we all have natural defences, that have developed and strengthened as we've grown... Our skin protects us, and the oils in our skin help to keep us safe... That is biological science... This is not reassurance, it is evidence... And it releases us from excessive guilt, that intrusive thoughts build up in us on a daily basis... So... I'll give this a couple more days and see if anything happens, knowing that probably, No it won't. The sports centre will stay open... There won't be anything on the telly... Mind you, I need to resist the temptation/compulsion to check on line, or look at tomorrows papers... If anything could, it couldn't possibly be down to just little old me... David

Hi there... Some years ago we had a mouse. My main fear was that it would run over me as I slept... They move really fast, and so they look a lot bigger than they really are... They would run across the room from under our fireplace... We live in a bungalow, so we don't honestly know where they came from... It's the way they move... Like big spiders... As a small child my family lived near forest... So spiders the size of my hand were regularly in the house... Now I'm an adult, I haven't yet found anyone, including myself, who will stay in the same room, as a spider the size of my hand! In the end, for the mice, we used some humane live traps, and released them along way from the building, and so far, they haven't come back... It is scary though... David

Hi there... Maybe I have just given myself permission to actually let go of the compulsion to sterilise everything... To let go, and just let it be so... Maybe this could sort of 'short circuit', trip up, or disarm my intrusive thoughts and compulsion to worry about what is on say... That door handle... That chair... My clothes... It won't always work for me, but perhaps this is a pensive step in the right direction for me/us... It's a start... Let me try this today... My son has asked me to go and sort out his toilet cistern valve... It is making so much noise that he cannot sleep in his flat... Wish me luck... David

I agree... Ocd will take a thought, and magnify it out of all proportion, like projecting it up on a cinema screen... It can start a cycle of relentless reassurance seeking, not just of this thought, but then of others it will have saved up ready... Jam the gearbox, refuse to engage with the thought, Tear down the cinema screen, smash the projector, figuratively speaking(!) I'm not really a vandal!!!! Force yourself to concentrate on happier things, nice things, crowd it out before it gets a grip... It might take a while... But jamming the gearbox, throwing the proverbial spanner into the works, hear it smashing... Refuse reassurance... It fuels the Ocd... And can be really difficult to stop... Recovery is possible... Definitely possible. For myself, I'm assisted by medication, but then it's about finding the right one for you... A GP can help with that... Maybe refer you for CBT? David