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Dakagraphics-David

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Everything posted by Dakagraphics-David

  1. Stick with the positives... Let the negatives fall away. Repeat the positives... The good things, the nice things... It's the nice tings we can enjoy... Hence my thing about lot's of visits to Maccy D's! Terry 123
  2. If I can do it... Then so can you! Let's go for it! I'm just about to raid my secret stash of Fruit and nut chocolate... Terry 123
  3. It's time to let go... Everything you've tried to do has been a problematic, so no w it is time to do nothing at all... Just literally let go, relax the muscles around our eyes, relax, and give in. By giving in we release the grip this stuff has on us. OCD is a living hell, and sometimes we pay into it. But letting go is an alternative. Literally, sit in a comfy chair, lean the head back into the cushion and physically let go. Relax, relax, and relax some more. The muscles around the eyes and face do it, just relax until everything goes blank for a precious few moments, then more moments. Break the cycle of worry. We cannot control worry, so we need to let go of the ropes so to speak, and relax. Life will reset and we can start to rebuild. It sounds too simple, but it works. And right now, anything that works just has to be a good thing. We are ALL worth it. Terry 123
  4. I mean, In time, not trime... I don't know what that is! I'm about to raid my secret stash of chocolate! Terry 123
  5. Hi Chrissy, Many of us, including me, have been right where you find yourself right now. It's horrible isn't it? But it can be fought, it is possible for life to become great again. I want to suggest a book by an American writer name David Burns MD. The feeling good handbook. I turn to my copy sometimes. It is really uplifting. And right now, I guess we could all do with a bit of uplifting! Don't bother rationalising... It's pointless, just live... Just live... Theses awkward times will pass, definitely... Honestly, it will get better in trime. Terry 123
  6. The main thing is that no harm was done... Maybe it things had been diffferent? But they weren't. So let go... Right now... You have an absolute right, to put this well and truyly in the past. What matters is, right now, everything is okay... Terry 123
  7. Keep pushin on... It just has to be worth it... Terry 123
  8. I guess that most of us on here have been there, and, through so doing, deeply identify with you and each of us too. People in society don't seem to engage on our level, either cos it's too difficult for them, or society is just blundering on without us. Our feelings, just as as with other things similar, can only be felt, not described. We just don't have the words. It is like trying to describe different colours to a person who, as they are blind, has never seen colour, and what it looks like.. I get blank looks a lot, when I bring the subject up in the family... The classic 'curtain theory', when I begin to really struggle. I'm going to Maccy D's this afternoon, and will eat fries using my fingers. For a long time I could never do that. And yet, EVERYONE else in there is doing so. And I know that the only place in there to wash hands is the loos... And the less said about them the better!!! If anybody in the world got food poisoning, it would be on the national and international news. So, we know it is okay... I use a glass chopping board at home. Enough said. Would you like to do that? Go to a restaurant and challenge it? What others think should ideally not be the important thing now, it is what you get to do, as you, not others... As you. It is your feelings that need to come to the fore now. A lot of people out there don't even want to understand disabilty. This is a major disability, as big as needing a wheelchair to get around. OCD is just as dibilitating as any physical on, it stops us in our tracks. Time to let go, my friend. Time to relax the muscles around the eyes and face, and experience what happens. Relaxing the eyes can make the mind go blank for a few precious moments. It really is as simple as that... Have some favourite background sound, and simply allow your mind to go blank. It works! Give it a try until it works... As much as it takes, cos you, me, and all of us on here are most definitely worth it. Period. Terry 123
  9. We do so worry about guilt of things we see as less than perfection, and yet... Our elected politicians blatantly do stuff, and get away with it, and get massive pay rises... They are laughing at us. There is a celebrity presenter who claims to be able to sort our lives out... What! They haven't even seen real life!! They've had everything given to them, Celebs seem to have it so easy... WE are the ones having a hard time cos we feel so responsible for everything... That's how the upper echelons in society keep us down. I left school full of ambition... Job centre wiped all of that away... It's all about who people think they are. Celebrity=Someone who thinks they should be celebrated... That's all, we shouldn't put them on pedestals... That's ALL they are... We are much better than that... We cope with far less money, We don't get stupid admiration wherever we go... We need to be careful not to forget how wonderful we are by comparison. Celebs kids have everything... And yet my kids are far and away better people. It's getting them to believe it though... Money makes money... And success is measured by money, regardless We are the good people who deserve chances, but it's getting those chances that is difficult. We need to keep fighting on... One day we'll look back on this as good experience... We are all good at something... You and I included... Never forget that... Find that thing you are good at, and RUN with it... People in the public eye make us feel silly to A) Keep us down, and B) Keep them in the lifestyle they are used to. A good programme to watch is 'Faking it, Boris Johnson' special. He lied, and Lied, and got away with it, cos we don't stop them. We are too honest for our own good... Compared to them, you and I are saints. Never forget that... You and I have work to do... We need to start valuing ourselves for WHO we are, not what we've done. I crashed out of care work believing that I'd fallen short, and yet, people around me were committing abuse... They got away with it... Over and over again... And all I'd done was worry about a single dose of medicine I'd signed for but couldn't be sure I'd given it. You and me are practically saints, Let's try to not let them drag us down. Cos they don't care anyway... Let's try and have a brill few hours today, where we begin to like ourselves for who we are... Just look at what we come through/go through every day... And we are good at what we do... Terry 123
  10. I'm getting to a point that I'm nodding off everywhere!!! So, so tired, and yet, pretty relaxed about things... Terry 123
  11. Thank you! It gives me a massive lift to do the writing. I go to McDonalds tomorrow with grandchildren, it is where I greatly reinforce the adage of the famous restaurant where no one has clean fingers, yet eat fries by the ton! At one time I would almost be eating the anti-bac gel! Terry 123
  12. OK! Thank you. It is good to hear. For me, so much today is geared around the job we do, our qualifications etc. Having not a lot that many people want is difficult. I do feel sense of purpose on here though. It's just a bit rough that we need to be sufferers to communicate on here. I do believe that everyone can do something in the world. As far as industrial things go, technology in recent years has been phenomenal. It has simply changed. What computer programmers can achieve is fantastic, and has revelutionised things as a second industrial revolution. I'm old school... Can listen to an engine and diagnose... We are all brilliant! I don't believe what my schoolteachers used to say. I was good at nursing. I know that cos the patients used to seek me out. All is good. I don't need to do the studying, it is not what I'm good at. I know that I'm a brilliant grandad... My grandkids say so. And it's not for the chocolate either! More smile grabbing tomorrow! And more on Friday! Terry 123
  13. One of the things I do is get Youtube premium, so that there are no ads and I can create a playlist. Blue light orchestra is quite good as is Seft love. They are channels with long tracks so can go through the night... Terry 123
  14. In a change of events, The Open University have asked me to make a big decision. Whether or not to quit study... The thing is, I'm in no way academic, whereas others in my family have degrees and that sort of stuff. At school they thought I was thick (Even the the teaching standard was very poor). My parents thus thought I was thick... At least I assume so, I don't remember anything else to describe my passage through school. I have spent my entire life trying to prove to others that I'm not thick. I've come to the conclusion now that that will never happen. And in a world where everything is based on job and academic prowess, that is a bit of a difficulty. I'm simply not degree standard... That's how it is. Some of the stuff I can do cannot be taught, like playing electronic organ full size by ear alone. But that is no use to anyone I know. I can cook all sorts of stuff, but that sort of counts for nothing. To get on in industry I need to be able to program any model of computer machine. I struggle to operate a basic phone. Let's face it, I'm thick!!! Unfortunately, I have no one to turn me into a celebrity. Celebrities make a fortune out of being thick... Just look at our TV! And they get the book deals!!! I've given learning my best shot. No, just maybe, it is time to just let go. The thing is, What to do instead? I'm good at writing, but that won't come to anything, people don't buy books anymore. Organist? No church wants me to play... Cooking? There's no way that I would be able to cope with the hygiene stickers they have on cafe doors... In short, I'm old, And thick... I don't mind, cos I have grandchildren who enjoy my company. I found out in later life that, my maths teacher at school didn't know how to teach... My other teachers didn't question why the italic handwriting was perfect, but the sentences rubbish due to writing with no blood sugar... You don't know that stuff at the time... To me, the teacher is the expert. At nursing school, yet again, teachers who didn't know how to teach, to pass a skill. They said that i wasn't listening, even though, hours later I could recall everything... All my fault of course... At least, that's what we all thought at the time... I have spent 70 years trying to prove that I'm not thick... I'll get there eventually More on Friday...
  15. Hiya. I wonder too... It all seems so pointless sometimes. Religions come up with ideas as do all sorts of groups. The inevitable question 'What are we here for?' keeps coming up, and to that I really don't have an answer. Sometimes I'm down to 'I'm here... I just need to make the best of it...' And to be honest, that is where I am right now. I have grandchildren and wonder what their world will be like when everything has been plundered by who I see as the greedy rich... The ones who have houses everywhere, and ridiculously expensive cars. I don't want any of that stuff, cos they seem to be competing with each other. The people who can afford to donate to charity don't, unless it gets publicity or a tax break... I wish I knew what the point of it all is. There is such a lot of suffering in this world. Surely it isn't just an exercise, or experiment done by aliens? The amount of unfairness in this world is staggering. World leaders who don't just want a share, they want everything. To know that the person who has everything will still never be satisfied does little to resolve my feelings of inadequacy. As a pensioner I should ideally own my own home... I'm highly qualified, but in an industry that no longer exists... Time served they call it, but as the UK is no longer predominantly manufacturing, it counts for nothing. As a pensioner, I'm very tired. I want to do the garden, but I'm no longer fit enough to do it. I tend to work on the basis that; 'Well, I'm here, it makes sense to make the best I can of things'. Maybe when we die we go somewhere else to do it all again.' I am what I call, a person of faith, but allow the best of everything to take precedent over the less nice stuff. In religion there is a lot of 'control' stuff, largely in favour of men. It is loaded in favour of men. Why they do it is probably lost in time, but it is still there. Our legal system favours the criminal. I use the term 'If it cannot be punished, then it isn't illegal'. Prisoners get a lot of perks us outsiders can only dream of. They have no food or electricity/gas worries. They have a right to on-line education. They have spare time. All because they have some 'right' to it. Those rights have not been awarded by victims of crime, but by people who mistakenly feel that all crime can be rehabilitated... The jury is still out on that one... I once worked with a double killer, who, as the 'service user' had a lot more rights than me as the member of support staff. I still resent that. Back to the theory that 'we are stuck here, let's make the best we can of it...' seems to be the safest way forward for me. Everyone else knows better than me. I was taught to honour my mother and father. The thing is, if our parents weren't model parents, should we still have been expected to honour them? Respect my elders and betters? Mmmm... What if they weren't 'betters'. In my childhood home it was brutal. There is an idea 'spare the rod spoil the child', and 'schooldays are the best days of our lives.' Both written by schoolteachers who for some awkward reason, enjoyed the power they had over others... The schoolkids. A large part of my life was carework... There are a lot of people in carework who are there for the sense of power. Horrible people. Staff who should be considerate and caring. There is a lot of what I would call abuse... I tried to confront it, but as the people were sometimes managererial or supervisory, I ended up just leaving. For me, it is a minute at a time, and try to enjoy it. A walk out on a sunny day, some favourite music. An hour or so in the garden. A nicely decorated home. A mile grabbed from a stranger... A coffee in a restaurant. A word of thanks to someone who has been good to me. I do that a lot. Try to engage a smile of someone walking towards me in town. It is difficult sometimes, just to get through each day. People seem to have it a lot easier than me. In many ways, I have withdrawn from a lot of stuff. I don't go to clubs cos I cannot afford to keep up with other people who are 'there to be seen'. Let's just try and be happy... It can be done... My happiness is found in chocolate! Aldi are the cheapest for fruit and nut, my favourite. Hopefull will get some gardening done, then a ride out in the car for reward. Not a posh car, an ordinary one that doesn't stick out like a sore thumb... I'm sorry if I've sort of overtaken here. I ramble a lot... I lose myself in words, a bit of a philosopher (Without the qualification). Carry on! Terry 123
  16. And yet... Why is it just us doing the worrying? How is it that some people float through life without a care in the world? I had this when I worked in a care team that basically imploded. There was scandal, abuse, backbiting, whistleblowing, suspensions going on around me. The accusations between some staff were horrendous. I wasn't allowed to confide in anyone, and yet I had residents to somehow care for. I was ostracised cos I confided my feelings to someone who eventually got sacked anyway. Leaving me wondering how to cope with things myself... We all need friends, and my friends were fighting each other... Some people were just awful, and yet just didn't care about being so. Leaving me out on a limb metaphorically. In the end I had to save me, and retired due to illness. I loved my residents... But I'd come to a point where I couldn't face going into work anymore... Terry 123
  17. The computer game 'Mahjong' is very addictive, and yet the level of concentration required helps to drive out the worrying, at least for a while... More on Friday... Terry 123
  18. Something that may be of help here, is getting the brain so involved with something else, that hte OCD gives up and goes away for a while. We have just bought a computer games system with 'Majong' on it. It involves a hell of a lot of concentration and attention to detail. I find that I'm having to really focus on confusing detail, and with the soothing musical background, my body goes into an alternative state to the constant worrying and rumination over something I've just seen on the floor, in the ceiling etc. I use, for my germs stuff, the experience of going into Britains biggest eat in restaurant. Put simply, of the people eating 'fries' the only ones with remotely clean hands are the ones who most definitely haven't used the loos... Period. Terry 123
  19. Absolutely. We all look at the world from different angles, and those angles have been reliant on each of our individual journeys and life experience. My grandchildren think I#m nuts, but that is just their opinion... Come to think of it... I'm doing okay in my grandchildrens eyes... (The supply of chocolate helps!) Terry 123
  20. This was the case for me too. In the 1960's everything was riddled with asbestos. Literally everything. And yet... We've come through it... The evidence is there... We've come through it. We don't here about mass cases of asbestosis do we? The world is not collapsing under a wave of lung disease... In the 1960's there was a great deal of concern about fire. After a wartime blitz where literally everything burned. In a theatre, the safety curtain was a massive sheet of asbestos. Did we choke to death? No. In the present days the asbestos simply isn't there in quantities that would cause harm. Ask grandparents and great grandparents about the amount of asbestos in society in the 1960's. It was rife. This quite simply doesn't happen anymore. Our buildings are reasonably safe. The problem here is the OCD, the anxiety. If it wasn't asbestos we would simply find something else in it's place... In my case it was germs... There weren't that many of those either... Terry 123
  21. When I have an on-line argument with someone, I actually cut the power... Kill the argument, with me having the last word. I then power tha computer up again and block the assailant. How that is done varies, but it is very satisfying. I tend to give facebook a very wide berth, you never know if what they are saying is just words to wind you up. I used to get very agitated, but now, I only look at it maybe once a week for things I'm really interested in calmly. The trolls go away eventually, and don't bother me anymore. They can look stupid on their own, I don't need to join in anymore... Terry 123
  22. I'm definitely not a morning person. I love to watch a colourful sunset in the evening. Okay, it's as a result of atmospheric pollution, but it is still beautiful to watch... I know now that blood sugar drops when we are supposed to be asleep. I wish I'd known that when sitting up all night doing school homework. In those days it was fountain pen and paper. I had to get the handwriting perfect, unaware that the spelling and grammar would have been ridiculously wrong... Terry 123
  23. Yep... Definitely... I've sort of made a cross for myself with doing the weekly babble. I have to visit my OCD to confront it. Not that that is a bad thing of course. It is a measure of how much progress we are making... And we are all making progress!
  24. 23/05/2025. Hi Everyone! Well, We've made it! Another week! I know I always say that, but, let's face it, getting through our weeks with OCD is hardly easy, is it? I've walked down streets and Not done smile grabbing. It's hard work. And I don't always feel like it... None of us on here find it easy... Some of my days are really difficult. It often looks like others around us have it easier. I reckon it's just a front... I've run out of fruit and nut chocolate as I write. I know it's bad for my teeth but hey... I cannot get a dentist where I live anyway, so what the heck... I've been trying to sort my computer out, well, finding hidden software on the computer actually. I daren't ask... I feel stupid. It is like trying to decide what a certain colour looks ilke. The words just aren't there... I was long out of school before I ever saw a computer, let alone used one. It all comes with assumed prior knowledge. We didn't even have calculators at school, everything was worked out with pencil and paper. How crude was it? Google 'slide rules'. That's what my dad used. There was no AI to posh up our writing. It simply hadn't been invented. When I went to nursing school, the computer room had twenty or so computers, all of them different. Even the word processors had different programmes. Dot Matrix printers were the wonderful then. How does this relate to OCD? Well, it's the asking for help bit, like asking for reassurance too. We feel silly... Hardly something to feel proud about... Do you know anyone who you are proud of? Do you tell them? At the funeral it is all a bit late but... It tends to be at funerals. No one was ever proud of me... No one. And I wouldn't ask if you paid me. We should ideally all feel proud... Really proud of getting through every day with this damned OCD. Every day is a victory. My daughter is starting a career teaching Maths. I'm very proud of my kids, and I tell them so. People need telling, we all need telling. Standing reserved to one side gets us sidetracked and walked over, we blend into the background. It is a British thing... Be reserved... But if we do that we don't even get noticed. I don't get noticed, we are passed by. Sure it is not brill to go around shouting out our virtues, but if we don't, we get passed over. But putting ourselves forward is insanely difficult. As A child I spent a lot of time feeling ashamed. I was the black sheep of the family. All my siblings were brilliant, whilst I was just average, and not expected to amount to anything. Poor quality teachers comparing me to my siblings made things even worse. A sense of uselessness. Always second class. And yet, we deal with OCD every day, sometimes at night too... Laying awake, the mind rushing from one subject to the next. Getting out of bed to wash hands just once more, or check that door lock, just one more time. Logically, checking the door just the once is surely enough, and yet... The more we do it, the stronger the compulsions become. Such is OCD. I play Hammond... To people today hammond is a celebrity... Who probably thinks they should be celebrated. In the electronic organ world Hammond is the Everest, the tallest in the world. It has taken sixty years to get this instrument, so I appreciate it more. Others just get... I would love to be part of a music group... To take part... But I'm simply not going to pander to quite frankly, horrible people... I have to belittle myself to make others feel better about themselves than they really are... Church is a struggle. I just don't fit in anywhere... I've tried dozens over the years... I'm simply not wanted as myself, but rather how they would wish me to be. There is far more theatre than worship... I have a question... In view of the way people treat each other and the world, the sheer lack of love in the world, never mind respect, If you were God. Would you be tempted to simply turn and walk away? We've ruined everything... We've plundered and taken everything for granted, and money is king. A camera club is all about which make and model camera you have... It is essential to have the latest model... Same with any 'club'. I would like to hear someone say that they are proud of me... Not loud and stupid, just as little old me. I'm proud of you all on here... We are really facing some battles aren't we? Mental illness just has to be the worst, cos people cannot see it. In a wheelchair we would be in everybody's way, but the stress on our faces gets ignored in today's society... But we need to carry on... I don't know why, but I'm sure there is a good reason! A reason that will be shown us at some point. Tomorrow as I write, I get my weekly allowance... I buy my chocolate in Aldi cos I can afford it easier and it tastes nice. It's the only way I can afford to treat myself... But treat ourselves we must do, and on a regular basis. Sometimes just a glass of cool water on a hot day can be enough... For this week, when wandering about, don't look down at the ground, You'll bump into something. So... Face up, look where we are going, only then can we be certain people aren't staring at us at all... A last word for this week... When I struggle to let things go, I make an hour of the time, a clock on the wall is best. I set a time limit, say, 1 hour from now, and proceed to try and let go just for that hour. I force the thoughts out, fight it to leave me alone. Imay make a coffee, or eat a bit of chocolate, but I verhemently let go, and strongly defy it for that hour. No giving in. If I find I just maybe able to do so, I'll tack another hour on. Believe it or not... The force to check again, test again, or anything else again, actually dies away! (Eventually!) Try it! I will do the same alongside you... We can do this together... And Win! (With practice). Okay... That's it for this week I think. So, Until next Friday 30th May, at normal time hopefully 19.00 hrs UK time. Terry 123
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