NJ321

I can't stop thinking about something that could've happened yesterday when I was driving. I was driving out of the parking lot after my work shift & was waiting to go onto the highway but I saw that a car had their left blinker signal on to make a turn but I waited to make sure they were going to turn left while I was going to turn right out of the parking lot. The light was red & I didn't see any other cars coming. But what happened was when they were finally making the turn I didn't think any other cars were coming & I was about to go out then all of a sudden a car breezed on by that I have no idea where they came from. The car that was turning I guess made me not see the other car that somehow was right there. I just flat out didn't see them & I feel like I lucked out by making sure the other car was going to turn otherwise it's possible I could've hit into that other car if I turned a bit sooner or they would've at least had to hit on their breaks really hard or to swerve fast into the other lane to not hit me if I turned a few seconds sooner. Now I can't stop thinking about it.

It seems like this is always in the back of my mind in someway. I don’t get why it would feel like in my mind the stranger was going to do something to the kid or like I was looking to see if they were or again like I wanted them to. I can’t get over it entirely.

I don't know what to do. I don't remember having something like this. I just remember I saw the customer walk by the kid & it's almost like I was examining in my mind while looking at them & the kid if they were going to do something or maybe it felt like I wanted them to? Afterwards I was wondering why that happened & thinking I acted on a thought due to what was going on in my mind in the moment.

I'm not sure what to make of this. Why would my mind feel like it was seeing if they were going to do something? I don't know how this could happen out of nowhere like I said. Literally seconds before I saw the kid I was feeling okay than it's like my mind went insane in the moment & the thoughts & feelings started out of nowhere.

This is still bothering me since I feel like when the person walked by the kid I feel like I was seeing if they were going to do something. Why would my mind do that? I don't know how this could happen since before I saw the kid I was feeling fine then when I saw the kid is when the intrusive thoughts started. But when I had to walk back past the kid again as I was going back to the front of my workplace I saw the stranger have to walk past the kid & it was like in my mind I was seeing if they were going to do something to the kid since my mind made me think they were possibly a pedophile. I've never had a situation like this before with OCD in the way it happened.

I'm just wondering if this is possible to happen with POCD. I was at work today & had to go get something at the back of my store but I had to walk past a kid where intrusive thoughts suddenly started. It bothered me for a bit but felt it was OCD but my issue is when I had to walk back to the front of the store & go past the kid again & than all of a sudden before I could there was some customer that had to walk by the kid before I could & in my mind all of a sudden I was thinking the stranger was or could be a pedophile. My mind it felt like was even checking to see if they were going to do something to the kid. Now I can't stop thinking about this now like why would I check to see if they were going to do something or felt like they were & thinking a stranger I don't even know could be a pedophile. I'm just worried now about why this happened.

Not sure what's wrong with me. I think my cortisol levels from all the stress are high & now it's hard for me to stop stressing out about this. Not sure how to relax right now.

It's been on my mind all day today stressing out about it. It happened before my dentist appointment today & after I parked & got out of my car. I always park kinda far away from the entrance of where my dentist is since I don't like parking near many cars so by doing that I have to walk straight across a huge parking lot due to it being a huge business/shopping complex. But as I was walking I happened to walk in an empty parking spot space with 2 cars parked to both sides & then an SUV came by at the same exact time that luckily kept going. I feel like if they turned into the parking spot instead & not seen me I could've possibly been hit by them due to the 2 cars side by side with me possibly not being in their field of vision right away. Now I can't stop thinking about it. It's my fault for walking in an empty parking spot with 2 cars on each side of it to go across to where I needed to go but now I can't stop thinking about it.

Still having a difficult time with this. I just don't know why I would move at the same time. It's making me feel like I wanted something to happen.

I get this type of thing occasionally too.

This is the worst scenario I’ve had in a long time. I just can’t stop thinking about why I moved like I did at the same time they were trying to get something near me. Like I feel like it was automatic & then literally right after I wondered why that happened.

I just remember when they had to grab something near me I moved forward randomly at the same time then wondered right after why I did that. I just don't know what that means. I've had something similar happen multiple times before but the person was never right near me. I don't know if it's some sort of OCD tic or not.

I was doing better than before for awhile but yesterday at work messed me up wondering why I moved like I did. A co worker had to grab something near me at work but then as they did I moved forward randomly at the same time like I wanted them to touch me inappropriately in the moment. I can’t stop thinking about it now. Like why would I move like I did at the same time as they had to grab something near me. It’s stressing me out really bad to the point I can’t sleep much.

I understand all of that & a lot of times i know for 100% sure it's OCD. But it's times like the other day with this situation where it's like I feel like I acted on the thought. It just happens from time to time where it doesn't have that same feeling where I know for sure it's just some stupid OCD thing. I remember just being in a really bad mood due to a few different personal things at the beginning of my shift & then when I grabbed the shirt from the counter I just remember as I grabbed the shirt my mind just made me grab it a certain way where I like pulled it where the shirt was sticking out at the bottom. Now it's making me feel like I acted on the thought since I did it that way when I had the thought in the moment right after I grabbed it.

What if it was that I didn't intentionally do it but my mind in the moment made me grab the shirt off the hanger that way.