Dakagraphics-David

For me, the people who suggest the afterlife to be a true thing, weren't so awful about it, I would be happier. I hope there is, and yet it is the ultra-rich who are preaching it. An afterlife would certainly go a long way to make up for the horrible things we go through in life today. It is said that money doesn't bring happiness, but again, the people saying that are not exactly poor in finances, are they? Like you say, people aren't exactly in a hurry to go to paradise, are they? Some of the people in my world who promote the idea of an afterlife, and horrible people... They aren't nice to me... Some are terrible 'takers'. They had me for everything I had... I see a person contemplating suicide as an exhausted angel trying to get back into heaven... Terry 123

My only gripe with travel insurance is that I had to buy an international policy when taking coach holidays in the UK!!! Terry 123

Hello and welcome to the forums... As we learn from each other we become better at coping with out OCD. Simply put, I think our OCD is driven by a 'care too much for our own good' approach to life. I feel like I have to protect my grandchildren. It is good to care, but others need to be allowed to take their own risks too, just as we did when we were crawling about on the floor learning to walk... Welcome... Terry 123

I tend to think the CBT is about denial... We do things in therapy that are almost tempting things to go wrong, and when they don't, a massive amount of relief comes over us... For me OCD is about fear, anxiety, and an over-exagerated feeling of responsibility to ourselves and others... But it isn't easy this OCD. Terry 123

Facebook has a lot to be guilty for... A heck of a lot... A lot of it has been created in someones mind, to deliberately upset the best of us. A lot of it is quite simply fake. The people who post it are fake... I've had friend requests from people who died years ago, pop stars, and so-called celebrities! Terry 123

In my understanding, part of the thing about therapy is that we are testing to see that the bad thing doesn't actually happen. We thing it will, but it doesn't, and we are just waiting for the anxiety to die down on it's own. There is no 'fault', we are not to blame for anything. We are proving to oursleves, beyond all doubt that, we can do the things that most people do all of the time without thinking, without ourselves causing harm either. Things that freak us out, simply because we have OCD, and yet other people do all of the time without caring one jot. An interesting book to show just how far people can go with this is 'The boy who couldn't stop washing', by Dr Judith Rappaport. There are experiments that even I won't attempt! Terry 123

I have this problem when using public loos... The automatic ones do't rinse all the soap off. I have lather on my hands after drying them. The solution I use is to literally wipe my hands on my clothing!!! The stickiness we get is almost certainly an excess of soap lather. I would rather use ordinary soap, and lots of water to really rinse my hands really well before drying them on the towel. I find that it is a pain, when doing food prep and washing hands between products... But still I rinse really thouroughly... Terry 123

The serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, but most importantly, the Wisdom to know the difference... There are many things in life we have absolutely no control over... We have to just let them be... Terry 123

Wow! It just goes to show, doesn't it! I must admit that I'm wary of brushing the plaque off of my teeth. I believe that it serves to seal my cavities. Dentists waiting lists can be four years... A long time to be in pain. So I exercise self treatment. I have to. I'm home now, exhausted after pushing a wheelchair for miles over some very hilly places. The computer keeps playing up, but I cannot afford a more modern one. We are at a stage where a large percentage of software is now rented from microsoft. We used to buy it on CD-ROM. Terry 123

Another week... We've made it through another week! We are early this evening, just for this week... I'm in a hotel as I write this... The sun streaming in. Okay... Holiday hotels... I never, ever check the bed... I just trust it. Vacuum cleaner salesmen will have you freaking out about what gets into mattresses and pillows. A pillowcase gets laundered, but the pillows? Well imagine trying to do so at home! We trust it. Mattresses too... I've seen a salesman supposedly fill a bag of dust from a mattress... I never remove sheets. In a hotel it is assumed okay, and it is, because no one ever sues. What about a holiday camp or caravan park? They are dire, but we need to sleep. Did we ever check when staying with relatives? We worry about minute spores of asbestos in the air, but did you know that cigarette smoke has cyanide gas in it? It always has done... Right from the 1960's when everyone smoked. It was the done thing... I was an engineering apprentice, so no filters necessarily. We had brown fingers and teeth. But, believe it or not, there was relaxation, most probably more to do with relaxed breathing, as nicotine is regarded as a stimulant. So... Just maybe, we are safer than we think we are, Right? Right. I went into a popular burger restaurant today... Very nice... But the toilets are upstairs! What if a loo overflows?!!!! Imagine the staircase as a water feature!!! Anyway, entry was gained via a secret number in a keypad. In through the doors, and away we go. Few people wash hands. I do, I like to, just the once, no more is necessary, no more at all. I come back into the main cafeteria. Some people say that toilet door handles are metallically antibacterial... I challenge that myth. Some paints maybe approximately anti-bacterial. But... In the main it is ourselves who cope with the germs ourselves and get stronger with it. (Bontamination a new word not half as scary as contamination) Our immune systems get stronger. There is a new study in progress that suggest a way of reducing peanut allergy. It is done by adminstering minute amounts of 'Toxin' into the patient, who then, in theory, develops resistance. This is how immunisation and vaccination works. Our bodies are effectinvely taught how to resist, enabling us to have freer, more enjoyable lives. On holiday, peoples allergies are almost unworkable. In the dining room at our hotel there will be maybe 100 diners... Everyone wants something different. When I worked in care work, it was almost a different dish per patient. No wonder hospital food is cooked beyond belief... And, I guess that, whatever anyone did, there would always be at least one person who was determined to complain about the slightest thing. People moan at us ones with OCD... They think we have it easy!!! Some hope of that!!! So... pushing my other half in a wheelchair... Trying to avoid potholes in the pavement. It used to be dog poo, now it is if the path is even there at all, with the standard of maintenance that pavements and roads don't often get. It might be more practical to build cars to cope with our roads... We all need fourwheel drives and off road capabilities... And that's just on the motorways!!! On a coach, we have to handle everything. Just looking at it all, how could you clean it even if you wanted to? They are built to look nice, not be antiseptic. Everyones suitcases are bundled together in the hold under the floor. Are any of them clean? We don't know, and indeed never can know, so just go along with things, copy others... How do they look after our luggage? In airport it would be worse... Baggage handlers aren't sterile! Never could be. In the customs bit where they look in your bag... Anything sterile after that? Of course not. So... Next time, like me, you stand looking at that door handle, or push button for the electric doors, just allow it to be okay... Cos with our natural defences, they are. Statistically they are safe enough to be in a public place. Go ahead, determinedly just open the door go outside, and leave it at that. In the public coveniences, I used to rub my hands 'dry' down my trousers. Except that, I've not known one toilet door handle yet to not be perfectly dry... It was how my CBT therapist got me to openly defy it, persistently, himself going through the motions right beside me. It was difficult the first ten times, but then it just suddenly got easier, and I was on my way... What about trying to keep others around you cheerful... Do you do this? In the hotel we have dining room staff... They look quite stressed out... Mind you, when they have forty tables of guests who, can be ever so fussy, it's hardly surprising. I used to work where no one was ever satisfied. At my interview the manager told me that's what they did... Suit everyones needs and wants. I think they lasted about six months. Some people we care for can be ever so selfish. They moan all of the time. They are never satisfied. We need a tape recorder (?) to record all the moaning, then play it back whilst they watch 'emmerdale' on telly!!! They won't be able to say anything after trhat!!! In care work, we don't do it for the money, we do it for the smiles... Remember that. They do it for the smiles. Another chance to smile grab. Smile grabbing is a massive lifter. I do it out of the goodness of my heart. Others can choose to ignore me, but at least I made the effort... A good experience, if you can get it, is to get a boat ride. Not a speedboat necessarily, but a harbour cruise or narrow boat. We did today, out on a bay. The thing is, the boat is always going forward, pointed end first. The easy way. When in a boat, we don't go sideways, cos a wave could roll us over. We face waves head on, and ride them out to the smooth waters beyond. We can do that in life... On the metaphorical boat, face things head on, and let them pass each side of us. When we look back at the propellor wash, we can see the amazing patterns we have just come through, and survived! Just glance back momentarily, and get ready to ride the next metaphorical wave in front. Keep looking forward towards the sun... We always win. Our metaphorical boat has been built that way... To only go forwards efficiently. So let's let our troubles metaphoricaly wash past us as we move gently forward, feel the gentle rocking motion of our boat, and let it relax us. Have a cuppa or a glass of something too, but let's ride this OCD like seasoned sailors. This week... Get outside in the open air where there are other people. Eavesdrop conversations, they have the same feelings as we do, but in a slightly different way. Morrisons cafe you buy the first drink, then it's free top-ups. Costa is air conditioned, their cakes tempting. Starbucks is okay too, or just go into McDonalds and watch people eating without washing hands first A coffee morning type thing is good, cos people will actually listen to us. People used to 'care and share' at such gatherings. We care too much for our own good sometimes... And for goodness sake... Smile! As much as you can! I'll try and do it too... Until next week then... May 9th! Back to 19.00 hours normal UK time... Terry 123

Check the fluff filter in the dryer first... They all have one. They fill with fluff very quickly, especially when drying woollens Terry 123

If only we could sometimes see each other. Then the body language demonstrated and tone of voice, would wipe away all the confusion! Terry 123

Any amount more, just get the professionals in to assess acurately the risk for us. Terry 123

Large quantites of Asbestos probably does have a certain level of risk... But we aren't talking about industrial quantities of the stuff, are we? A few specks have got to be safer than remofing an entire floor or ceiling, Yes? People who actually mined the stuff, yes, a bit of a risk cos of the enormous amounts of dust invloved. We have drilled one small hole... That is the science. The thing with OCD is that it morphs... We deal with one thing, and it moves to another. Often to do with worrying about the risk we are possibly posing to others, our nearest and dearest. With smoking, it is usual to actually inhale absolutely all of the smoke, then breathe it out, for others to smoke passively... Many of us are pld enough to remember the sixties and seventies when absolutely everyone was on tobacco prducts. In the coal mine it was snuff, or chewing tobaccos. Miners didn't get mouth and throat cancer that much... They didn't asll suffer from the coal dust either... In industrial quantities. Not one fleck . So... Let's try and just let it be over there. Over there. Like a spider. Let it be there. Terry 123

Sometimes it is easy to try and 'read between the lines' and completely miss the spirit in which something is written. Taking offence when none is intended. I have relatives like that... I have had to split away from a lot of stuff on facebook. People haven't spoken to me in years, but to other members of the family... I used to try and make people like me... But they abused it and led me on. Not good... Terry 123

Check the fluff filter in the dryer, it may be clogged up... Terry 123

I'm sorry. I really don't know what to say to you. You have to let go. Terry 123

Whilst waiting for CBT, it can help to read a bit about it also. There is a book called 'The feeling good handbook' By Dr David Burns MD in America. It is possible to get older versions quite cheap on Amazon/ebay. Terry 123

Is everything 'Contaminated'? Or 'Bontaminated'? Is it really that bad? Would it harm anyone to the point of them sueing us? What if the thoughts were to give up and go away? Wouldn't that be bliss? Crowd it all out with good thoughts. Let something be a little grubby... Who are we trying to protect? When people walk into burger bars and eat french fries with their fingers. If they ever got ill they would consider washing hands first, in a public loo where people rarely wash their hands anyway. It is not up to you or I to protect everyone. It is not our responsibility. It is theirs, and theirs alone... Terry 123

Because it is unattainable, just let it go? No bad has ever come of it I'm certain... Challenge it to do it's worst. Then defy... OCD is a verbal bully in our heads. To be honest, it doesn't exist anywhere else... We need to challenge it to do it's worst. Deliberately not do something to clean or whatever... Defy it for long enough, and, believe it or not it will give up and go away. The secret is not giving in. The more we give in the stronger the OCD gets. It had me trapped in an activity room at a day-centre once... It is just in our thoughts, no where else... We need to defy it to do it's worst. Give it a name and shout at it if it helps... Believe me, it won't. And then we are free... Terry 123

Th That's really good, at least you have got it on. As long as everything is dry, the germs will go to dust and be gone. I remember doing the Christmas day night shift in a care home... All the residents had worn brand new clothing for Christmas day... Boxing day mornig everything had gone in a hot tumble dryer and was ruined... Shrinkage? It was unbelievable. It was bad enough as a daddy to be working on Christmas nights. The same staff threw sickies every year to get the time with their families...

I have been sitting on a tour bus full of oldies... Boy do they moan! When it came to queueing for anything, it was a free for all! Like old children, pushing in front of each other. The thought comes to mind that we often need to ease back... Let's read the whole text, and not take the odd word out of context. It is difficult enough to read it properly when a large proportion of communication is body language. We cannot see each other. Just watch someone when they are on the phone! Arms going in all directions, unseen hand signals! We need to smile more, cos, when we smile we actually cheer ourselves up in the process, it works both ways. You smile, I smile... We actually feel our spirits lifting. It just works. On holiday, people wear the most ridiculous clothing! Stuff they probably wouldn't be seen dead in at home! Having said that, us oldies probably look that way anyway!! Have a giggle, when something funny happens, don't hold it in!! Let it all go, as the sanitary pad advert says on telly... It is natural for me to try and calm situations. ~In care work I worked with people were, quite frankly, dangerous. All I have is words... These people were bigger than me with nothing to lose. Whereas, if I do something out of fear, I will be sacked. That's just how the industry works... Like it or lump it. Was I scared? Yes! Anyway, I'm retired now... So it is coping with coffee mornings and bus queues! So... In all things, Let's lighten up... Don't take offence unless you are a gardener... In a monastry, they actually ask us to walk on the grass! Plush green lawn is a blessing underfoot. And a park bench on a sunny day is wonderful. At my age I can get away with sitting down at every seat I come to. Anyone on here ever travel by train? Do you sit in the seat wishing it wasn't late? I always book on line beforehand. It saves an absolute fortune. Book a disabled passenger and they take the wheelchair on with a big ramp. Let people help you... And always say thank you. It works the same as smiling if you get eye contact. It makes their day. No one does that kind of work for the money... It is for the smile... Let's work at thanking people with eye contact included. Then we are both being serious in our gratitude. Believe me, it works! More in this weeks babble on Friday evening, an hour early this week 18.00 hrs UK time assuming my internet doesn't give out! Terry 123

As the drier warms up with laundry in it... Doesn't that effectively sterilise it? At least until we wear it? Terry 123

I'm just thinking back to a time when you could have a tumble dryer than ran on gas(?) How did nothing catch fire? Terry 123

I used to work in a care home where, crockery went in the dishwasher for sterile, and laundry into the tumble dryer for sterile. Looking back, it was pointless... They dropped clean clothes on the floor. Some soiled their clothing anyway... The thing is, with virtually no hygiene at all, no one got ill! I dry towels at home with tumble dryer simply cos it is quicker. But, my mum simply wiped the line outside with a cloth, then hung everything outside. Simply, if it looks clean, it is clean enough... It will do... A word... Chocolate is not sterile... Nor can it be made sterile... But I am addicted to the stuff, especially fruit and nut! Time for a coffee, in an already used cup... Terry 123