DRS1

I'm impressed. Somehow either through your own faulty logic or OCD, you've actually managed to turn the very concept of an intrusive thought on it's head there in that last part of your post. Okay, so let's break this down then. You are a pervert because you keep having random thoughts "that pop out of nowhere"... interesting. Equally, "if you constantly do it... it has to mean something". So unbelievably close to a definition of a compulsion. So by your logic, perverts are people who experience random thoughts out of nowhere that then immediately feel guilt and shame and punish themselves for it and gain reassurance to prove they aren't perverts. Hmm... that doesn't sound quite right now does it? So every time I experience a sexually intrusive image or thought that can be accompanied by the physical symptoms of the sexual response cycle being activated, I'm a pervert. Okay @Cora, thanks for that. Every time I've ever tried to avoid looking at someone's crotch, breasts or buttocks and ended up looking, I'm a pervert... also great. What you keep failing to realise is OCD is unoriginal. For every single thing you deal with (including this time it can't be OCD), at some point there has been plenty of people dealing with that. But you know what, I'm just going to go by your logic from now on. I guess I'm a pervert Cora. Oh well... how horrible, I guess I should punish myself for the rest of my life now right?

but how is it different? Really look at it, what makes this one difficult? Because you think it's really real this time? I say this as someone who not only has had OCD at a severe level but experiences up and downs at points with it but each time it seems different or like it must be a non OCD thing, I'm not going to treat it as such. How about this, go on the basis that it's probably OCD. If it turns out not to be OCD, then you'll just need to deal with that at that point. @Cora, how many other people are perverts for looking at someone's genitals, breasts, buttocks then? What even constitutes a pervert by your definition? Do you even know at this point?

Genuinely @Cora, how on earth do you think we can help you? We've given you a lot of advice but you just continue to ignore it and come back asking for more help as if each time we will have a different answer that will "solve" your problem. Unfortunately, we can't fix it for you. You know what you need to do to get better but you have to take the leap to do that. If you are not willing to do that at this point, you'll just remain as you are. Sorry it's blunt but I think it's what you need to hear.

That last part is reassurance seeking and I don't think you need that. You've had that one answered before in the 10s of pages on the thread. However yes, it is like a whole world here that people don't know about. That's not a bad thing. I wouldn't be saying half of the things I do about my OCD if it weren't for the fact this forum exists in the way that it does. It gives us all a chance to speak about things we can't talk to others about because they simply won't understand. You can feel guilty about being on the site all you want, doesn't mean anything. I could feel like I will be nauseous when I go to this site but that doesn't mean the site is the issue or maybe it does... Who knows? I think the bigger issue with the forum is using it to help OCD keep you trapped - using it as a compulsion.

I don't think that would be the case. Research into this has disproven the chemical imbalance theory for a while now in terms of causing depression at least.

The issue though that you are able to see with others but just not yourself yet is no matter how you want to look at that, the key thing is it's a past action (whether good or bad). You no longer have control of that at all. No matter how much OCD tries to riddle you with guilt over it, you still can't control that moment. So with that, does it seem fitting to punish yourself over and over again for the rest of your life because OCD says so? As you've mentioned, there are other problems going on here and I think that's something the care team really need to listen. If you haven't already, telling them about the fact that you are drinking, the behaviour in your household from others, all of the triggers/impacts from others around you. Even include the amount of time and posts you've done on forums (you don't have to mention this one by name) You don't have a simple or mild case of OCD and only OCD. They do need to do more than just CBT or whatever they want to call it at this point. It is clear they are not taking these other factors into consideration and frankly it's starting to make me annoyed. At what point do they realise that it's not working (for a multitude of reasons) but instead of trying to work out how they can help you get better, they are just dismissing you now? Maybe others can clarify this but surely the goal of offering therapy and having a duty of care is also in those patients not being as likely going back to that same place again and not have to use the mental health services. If so, why do what feels like the opposite in this case? It could be area specific as I don't think this logic applies to my local mental health care team -they were actually great about if you need to come back it's okay, they just wanted me to be better. Sorry that you kep having to go through that.

I'm sorry you feel how you do at the moment. If you are suicidal, please phone the NHS or take yourself to the hospital or call Samaritans. As for the leap of faith aspect. You take that leap of faith exactly when you are feeling this way. You need to be able to step into that uncertainty and effectively see what happens. You won't like to hear that but it's the truth. Your boyfriend is right. Don't push others away just because you don't want them to be affected by it. They are clearly trying to be there regardless. Take and use that support as much as you need. I get it too. This theme/fear isn't uncommon and is something I think a lot of us have dealt with on this forum. I can even name a few forum users in the last few months that have the same kind of obsessions. You don't have to do anything about the thoughts at all. There is nothing else to do. The more you practice not responding to it, the easier it gets. Trust me. The more you focus on this, the worse it gets.

You actually do have the power to do that you just believe you don't. The only way is through Cora. I get it. It's difficult but you need to be willing to change to in order to allow yourself to really take advantage of those therapy skills. If your mentality is going to continue to be you can't do it then you are going to remain stuck. It might sound harsh but it is the reality of your situation.

Maybe I wasn't clear. I didn't say that reminding yourself of the content of the thought was a compulsion. I said that reminding yourself it's only a thought can become compulsive.

Let's try a different approach. I'll just tell you exactly what you are doing: You were fine from Thursday but now you are back using the forum as a compulsion to confess and trying to involve us in your compulsions. There you go that sums up everything. Where did confessing this get you Cora? Has that actually helped and for how long? You need to decide to work on this. This isn't something we can do for you but I don't think you can continue to try to involve us in your compulsions it's not fair (don't you dare apologise for this... That's another one of your compulsions, no more saying sorry!) To you and us. Nothing you ever say is different. Nothing you ever say changes anything. Why do we continue to do nothing in response to your "disgusting" thoughts. Also please read the responses and try to take them on board. If you want to get actual advice and not seek reassurance you can say you are struggling with sexual themes for example and state the compulsions concisely instead of constantly giving this long in depth confession.

I'd argue that if you are looking for another medication then in my opinion your GP is probably right. The medication won't fix the actual problem, it's just going to dull the harshness of it really. I'd assume your GP will inform the mental health nurse about what you experience in OCD - it's probably actually helpful to have medical records with this on it for that reason so they will hopefully have a lot of background before they meet you. The reality may be that your GP doesn't want you to be on a medication for the rest of your life when you might not need to be and seeing the mental health nurse may help you explore your options (not necessarily that they will be the one doing the treatment) e.g. therapy referral, books, online resources etc. They may think that medication alone isn't working too. I'm personally at a point now where from a medical professional point of view, I've told that many of them about the details of what OCD was doing to me that I feel relatively open to talking about, especially since these were the same things I went to therapy for. I don't believe they can prescribe medication, only GPs and psychiatrists can do this in the UK to my knowledge. I'd actually watch out for the fear that they won't understand then that worsening OCD as a potential OCD logic pattern. Try to go in with no expectation positive or negative. By essentially catastrophising it, you are making it worse for yourself now before you have even seen them. You can tell them as much or little as you want to tell them and even make it clear that you feel uncomfortable talking to them about it. They shouldn't take offence to that. Why had your medication been changed before and what is it with OCD that you are specifically struggling with more recently?

Resources Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - David Veale (Very similar to the Break Free From OCD book) FAQ's on OCD - Zoe Wilson and Ashley Fulwood Pure - Rose Cartwright (This is about the experience of Rose and living with OCD - it is a bit candid so expect swearing, and no holds barred on harm and sexual themes of OCD) Note: this is also available as a TV series on channel 4 (or at least was anyways. Again warning: it's graphic and does contain nudity) OCD Stories Podcast https://www.ocduk.org/video/ https://www.ocduk.org/conference/ - These are conferences OCD-UK has done for the last 3 years. It covers lots of different things with OCD and with many well regard experts within OCD Advice Really dive in with the CBT and ERP. Try not to hesitate to try the suggestions If you are doing ERP and you do compulsions, you can nullify the effect of that compulsion by re-exposing yourself to the thought and then responding differently

Try to recognise the kind of compulsions that come up. There are patterns to this and recognising these when you feel like it's different will help You don't even need to remind yourself its an intrusive thought (in fact that might be a compulsion), you can choose to not engage with it at all instead With the confessing on the post and asking for reassurance... before you post, read through it and see if you can recognise the compulsions you are doing in the post. Look at what you are trying to gain from the post - if it's reassurance and a reduction in anxiety, try cancelling the post and sitting with the anxiety instead

So all you are doing with this is using the forum to post to confess and gain reassurance. How is that helping you? I'm not even going to entertain any of the content in your post. Read your post title, "another situation". Why is this one different. Why was every other time different to the last?

You had me till the last part there @Handy. Exercise helps, I definitely don't disagree with that but lots of other things help too. I think it needs cleared up as well, I don't think Handy is suggesting that exercise alone cures or fixes OCD. At this point I'd actually agree trying something else first. There are a lot of different things you can try but I'd say things like exercise and meditation are assists to the main issue here which is learning how to respond differently - and you can start to learn that from self help books (as Snowbear has already mentioned). If you are looking at medication as a "fix" or "fix all" then it's probably not going to work that way unfortunately. It could help or it might not - this is something you really need to consult your GP or a psychiatrist for. Look up the side effects. Weigh up the pros and cons and really have a proper and thorough talk about it with your GP or psychiatrist. There may be alternative medications but equally get answers to things like: On sexual side effects: Is there a chance that they could persist after discontinuation? How can I manage these sexual side effects (e.g. different dose, different medication, maybe additional medication to offset the low sex drive) etc. Other side effects: Are there other medications that you are prescribed that will potentially interact negatively with this SSRI and what would be the notable side effects/indications of this occurring Other questions: How long would I need to be on this medication?

Maybe you are looking at this wrong. Your OCD isn't necessarily likely to go because you are taking a medication. If you aren't changing how you respond and look at intrusive thoughts then nothing is going to be any different. To me this sounds more like an OCD logic involved issue than something that makes any sense. If you do get more intrusive thoughts after masturbating so what? They are still intrusive thoughts. I don't want to give you reassurance but despite my newer views on SSRIs, I don't think masturbation affects their usefulness. Look at your compulsions you are doing around it instead.

It's not even the feeling like you've betrayed your wife that's a problem here. You can have that feeling but still choose to cut out the compulsions anyway. I suppose in some ways it's radical acceptance. You don't have to like the thoughts or images or feelings you have. You don't even have to not feel like you've betrayed your wife. You just need to accept that no matter what, you have compulsions that you can cut out. I wouldn't even look at this anymore as well this might not be OCD or maybe it might be. The one thing you know irrespective of these themes is you do have OCD and you do have compulsions. Where do you feel the purpose of ruminating over all of this gets you? Do you feel like your ruminating provides you any temporary relief at this point?

I've given this suggestion before on the forum so sorry to anyone for re-treading this but the way I was taught ERP in therapy was to take the thought, image, feeling, sensation etc. exaggerate it, make it the worst possible thing it could be and then sit with it and not do the compulsions. You will need to recognise what compulsions you are doing are before you can do ERP as you can't cut out compulsions if you don't know which ones you are doing. That could be rumination, replaying something over in your head or even more subtle things like saying no in your head etc. Example Say if I have a sexual intrusive image of engaging in a sexual act with a family member, I exaggerate that and make it awful and then sit with it (not everyone should do this and this kind of ERP may not apply in all situations - to be clear). The anxiety goes down over time and the outcome is that it was just an image. That was it. There was nothing to have to do all these compulsions over. If you by chance do engage in compulsions during the exposure part, you haven't failed, you can nullify the effects of the compulsion by re-exposing yourself again and reacting differently by not doing the compulsions. As for your final questions, can you at least reach out to your GP or your universities wellbeing service (I'm assuming your uni should have one)? We can't diagnose you as having OCD, but a qualified psychiatrist can and can tailor therapy to what you are struggling with.

You won't I think most of us have thought exactly that. I certainly did whenever I talked to medical professionals about it. I'd always avoid specifically telling them I had OCD. Without really answering whether or not it is or isn't OCD, what is it you feel that doesn't fit in with it being OCD?

Cora I think you know why you keep having the thoughts and feelings at this point. In fact, I'm pretty sure you have been told this in your previous threads on the forum. Why start a new thread just do the same exact process again? Are you even gaining anything from seeking this reassurance or are you really just going round in circles again.

Yes! You are getting it. Just because OCD says so is not any reason to think something is or isn't good or that something is or isn't going to happen.

This depends. Some people find they have no issue and some might not even experience intrusive thoughts but others will still. The way I look at it is I'm pretty much predisposed to black and white thinking which OCD loves and I can't guarantee I'd never have another intrusive thought but I can always react differently. I don't even know if I like managing or coping as terms. It's more are you able to do the things you want to do in life despite anything OCD throws at you. To me that's enough. Ultimately you might never have another thought or compulsion again or you might have to "manage" it. That unfortunately throws more uncertainty at you but there you go

I'm sadly going to disagree with you there. I'm disappointed in your insulation that I may be choosing to be offended by it just to be offended by something. If we don't challenge these misconceptions and the stigmatising of a debilitating condition, then is the condition ever going to be recognised for what it is. You are of course entitled to your view on this and you can decide to not care about such an add but equally this entire section of the forum is for OCD in the media which includes any form of media including games and often features posts that show others mischaracterising OCD or using it as a three letter adjective. I'm sorry that I don't find that okay after my own lived experience and that I think we deserve better but here we are. For the record, I don't like the idea of cancel culture or just being offended for the sake of it. I don't think anyone should be stigmatised for the conditions they have.

The ad still remains up and I was shown it again, so I've reported it again. At this point I don't care about not saying the name of the app. It's called Parking Order. You wouldn't advertise a game as "this game gives you cancer but you'll keep playing" so why is it acceptable to put any other condition in there? I raised this point when reporting it for the second time. The game itself is not the issue and they are more than welcome to advertise it but it's not right to do so with words that intentionally stigmatise, marginalise or otherwise discriminate against others.

The problem is the self help books can't cover every single obsession ever. It gives you the tools to approach any obsession not just the one you feel you need to see in the books. It doesn't matter the category or theme. A lot of the time OCD can be too complex to fit it into a single box but that doesn't stop it being OCD. OCD makes you feel isolated and it does that for everyone but it's always a lie. It's a great trick that keeps us trapped until we start to accept this isn't any different to any other obsessions or other people's obsessions