Summer9173

Thank you @ocdjonesy You’re right, I know I am living in the future, I’m just scared as I really struggle to do things on my own. I do also experience agoraphobia which makes things ten times difficult, but I am also aware that doing this will also help. My manager declined helping me with putting reasonable adjustments in place for the transition, as he said that I already have reasonable adjustments in place at work, so I have emailed HR requesting to speak with them. I’m really not trying to cause a fuss, I just need support with this transition. it makes me upset that in work I’m being seen as ‘picky’, just because I struggle with my mental health - & that’s working in the NHS! I have taken today off sick to process everything without getting more overwhelmed. I am going to make a plan of what I would like to request, even if it’s small, to management to help aid me with this transition. Do you think that’s a good idea?

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my post @snowbear, I do really appreciate all of your advice. I am very excited for the lodge stay, which I never would have said in a million years last year! I think I need a nice little break away from the hustle and bustle of life. I know change can be hard, and sometimes I do get stuck in worst-case scenarios. I’ve learnt with my therapist that being neurodivergent, change can feel like a huge obstacle and cause a lot of emotional distress, I think that’s why I find it really difficult to also navigate things like this. I think i’m just upset because I feel like my worries are being dismissed by people around me who do not understand, and that’s also really overwhelming = I catastrophes. To keep remaining positive of this move, I really need to suggest to my employer the possibility of reasonable adjustments to help me with this change. I’m not trying to be picky, but even adjusted start times would really make an impact to how I’m feeling. Do you think that’s me being picky? And what would you suggest I could request to help me through this transition effectively? Unfortunately, I have had to take today off sick I feel like such a let down, but everything was just becoming too overwhelming, I need a day to process everything without work also being in my ear and how ‘excited’ they all are for this move. I will be back in tomorrow, but I’m going to use today to reflect and hopefully come up with a few ideas of how the trust can help me individually with this transition. I have been thinking that the change will help me get used to working in a completely different town, it’s just going to be difficult getting to that place and that’s where I’d need the right support with this, without feeling like I’m being judged or overreacting - which I know my colleague things I am doing exactly that.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I had this specific knife theme really badly last year, it really is so rubbish sending lots of hugs. One thing that helped me massively was getting used to the word ‘knives’ or ‘stabbed’ or any word like that, even if it was writing it down or saying it out loud until I became fairly desensitised to them types of harm words. Then I started looking at photos of knives, but started off with plastic knives and would do this everyday until my anxiety went down by half. It’s an absolute pain doing it every single day as homework, but as annoying as it is, it really does help. Then I moved onto the metal cutlery knives and then super sharp ones. I still do get a little anxious over the super sharp ones, but these ERP exercises really helped me and it’s nothing compared to what it used to be. I know my therapist also suggested some people even write down a story involving them, knives and other people and keep it in their pocket, but I was never ready to that as I was too anxious, but apparently there’s loads of ERP exercises when it comes to knives in general. The urges really are horrible, I get them with other harm OCD stuff like pushing someone over etc, but it really is all OCD trying to convince you that’s what you want to do. Even when I get them now, it really is so difficult to let them be, especially when the ‘urges’ are really heightened.

I just also wanted to mention that our teams move to a different office space at this other hospital would have to be at the end of March/start of April time, so it’s not giving me much time to prepare myself either. I know exposures to our fears is the best possible thing for OCD and also Agoraphobia, but I really do think this is too much for me at this moment in time.

Hey everyone, It’s been a while since my last post, but I am doing quite well and managing my OCD. I’ve also now got a three-month-old puppy who’s definitely keeping me busy, lol! I’m also actually heading to Suffolk this Friday for an overnight stay at a cabin lodge park with my partner. It’s not too far from Essex where I live, but considering I haven’t been away like this since 2019, it feels like a big step for me. I wanted to share this milestone with you all, as I’ve been a member here for years, and it’s taken me such a long time to get to this point in my recovery. I really am so proud! I’m also very excited for this getaway too, which I didn’t believe I’d ever say in a million years lol! That said, the past couple of weeks haven’t been easy at all. My puppy had to stay at the emergency vets for two nights because she caught kennel cough. I honestly thought I’d lost her—she’s like my baby. Thankfully, she’s doing so much better now, but I know this has put me under quite a lot of stress, as I am the main person who cares for her. Then, today at work, my manager called me and five other colleagues into a Teams meeting. Long story short, the hospital’s plan to close is still going ahead, even though we were told back in October/November time that this would no longer be happening? I am mentioning this because I work just a five-minute walk from my current hospital. I also joined in 2023, and yes, the 2025 closure was part of my contract, however, plans for my job search were then put on hold when we were told the closure was off. Now, we’ve been informed we’ll be moved to a different hospital! about a 40-minute bus ride away there and back (as I don’t drive due to my OCD, agoraphobia, and anxiety.) I’m not very familiar with this new hospital, but it is the main one in my area, so some of my family members have stayed and been treated there in the past. The whole thing has come up very very suddenly, and we’ve been told we need to vacate our current offices by the end of March. I’m honestly feeling so overwhelmed. A busy hospital would trigger my sensory overload due to my ADHD, and it would make my harm OCD worse, especially in a busy environment with so many poorly patients. My agoraphobia would also be triggered by needing to take public transport and not knowing the area or hospital too well. I also live in a small village, where the buses only run once an hour and I’d have to be at work by 8am, but sometimes the buses don’t come if there’s bad weather or traffic. I feel really stuck and just want to cry. I hate feeling trapped and overwhelmed. To make matters worse, I’ve got such ann unsympathetic manager. When I expressed my concerns to him, he responded by email saying, “it was in your contract that you’d eventually be moved,” without acknowledging my fears and how badly this sudden move would effect my mental health. He also mentioned that if I disagree with the change, all five of us staff members, including himself, would go through a 30-day consultation, which he described as “putting immense stress on the team” and “unnecessary,” as if I’m causing trouble on purpose!!!!! I would really appreciate any advice on how to handle this. I’m feeling completely stuck, and I’m really upset that my mental health struggles are making me feel like an inconvenience, especially when I work for an NHS trust. I don’t know what to do. Work gives me a purpose, I’ve found the routine has saved my life, it’s helped my OCD so much, I can’t imagine not working now, but unfortunately, I think I’m going to be left without any other choice. if anybody has any advice on how I should handle this in the best way possible, I would really appreciate it, thank you.

I am neurodivergent myself and when even the smallest thing in my routine is messed with, I end up having an absolutely horrible meltdown or becoming too overstimulated! Thank you for sharing this post @snowbear with my ADHD personally, I’ve also found it to be quite useful in terms of some of my ERP exposures. As I am very impulsive with certain things, by being impulsive has allowed me to go ‘all in’ with certain exposures that are higher up on my exposure hierarchy. However, this can be frustrating when you’re trying to stick to one exposure at a time on the hierarchy - as my mind loves to jump to other things and cannot stick to the ‘one thing at a time’.

Thanks guys xxx I have been feeling a little bit better now, just really really overstimulated and overwhelmed. I know this is crossing over to ADHD and OCD together territory, but I stopped my Elvanse ADHD medication the morning I was sick and didn’t continue it and my OCD has strangely increased too, as well as my low mood and overstimulated self. I’m hoping it passes, but this evening all I can describe it is that I feel as though how I felt when I came off Sertraline? I will be okay, but really feeling it tonight. I hate having to be strong all of the time, I know so many people will relate to that.

This made me really emotional to read (in a good way! ), thank you so much Terry 123, you’re so right on that one, the sun will shine again. It’s horrible when you’re stuck in a huge rumination cycle and can mentally feel the impending doom feeling constantly. I am usually ok with vomiting once, or even twice, as I always feel better straight after. But I’ve never had it so bad where I’m vomiting every 20 mins to half an hour, from 7pm - 4am. My body is just physically exhausted, especially from the strain your body is under when being sick. I have my therapy session tomorrow, so this is something I’m going to discuss, especially latching things onto past trauma and feeling alone and scared. But I’ll be ok. it’s just nice to be back on the forums again and even though I feel absolutely horrific at the moment, I have missed the community. If I didn’t have OCD, I wouldn’t know about the forums or the support groups where I’ve learnt so so much.

Thank you @Mini, how have you been? It’s been quite a while since I’ve come back on the Forums, but I must admit, it is lovely knowing we’re all still here supporting each other. I don’t know what I’d do without this forum sometimes, it really has gotten me through the worst times. I think where I’ve latched severe vomiting onto the situation last time I was really unwell (before I knew what OCD properly was and was in A&E for it), my brain has automatically gone = danger. It has been a tough evening but I’m just making myself a slightly warm bath. I think maybe this is something I need to work on, I can’t keep latching when I’m unwell to that time I had to go to A&E for my OCD.

@ocdjonesy Thank you so much, you’ve always been there for me on the forums and it is something I will always appreciate. I had a nap around 2 hours ago and I’m feeling a tad bit better now, my fever and body aches have also gone down a lot too.That’s the thing with the Norovirus, the symptoms come on so quickly, but they don’t seem to linger massively either to my surprise. I don’t have Emetaphobia, but the repeated projectile vomiting throughout it the night really scared me. Luckily, I do have my therapy session tomorrow, so maybe there are other unresolved issues that stem from when I’m unwell and it’s out of my control (mostly because I know I won’t have the support or somebody to just look after me while I am poorly, I am that person.)

Thank you @gael, that is really kind of you and I do really appreciate your reply. One thing I’ve missed about the forums is how supportive we all are as a community, especially when somebody is at crisis point. I think it was the vomiting from last night and the fact it was absolutely awful, that is what has traumatised me the most. I have never ever had such long bouts of repeated, painful vomiting throughout the night like that. I know that is unfortunately, the Norovirus for you, but towards the morning, with barely any sleep, my brain and body is just physically and mentally exhausted. I was also straining so much that I’m in a lot of physical pain too. I think I’m going to try and get another nap now. I’m also having my electrolytes sachet in water to help with the dehydration as I think that’s probably making it a lot worse.

Thank you so much @ocdjonesy, I really needed to hear that today (not in a reassuring way), it’s just the last time I was sick like that, I ended up in A&E on my own and it was really traumatic. And then again last night, I was repeatedly vomiting on my own again and my body and brain I think has just gone into shock because of past trauma - which has heightened my OCD because that is what OCD loves to do. I also have ADHD, so in times like this I am really not very good with regulating my emotions either - which is just another knock on effect to the OCD. I also usually take a diazepam very very sparingly, once in a blue moon when situations like this occur, so I feel guilty for saying this but I did take one when I was having a breakdown, just to calm me down for now. I have also made myself an Electrolytes powder drink as I feel really dehydrated too, but I really do appreciate you getting back to me straight away @ocdjonesy, I really needed that reply to ground me.

I just had a massive crying breakdown I just feel so scared I’m so sorry, it’s just brought back a lot of traumatic memories back

Hi everyone, I just really need someone to talk too. I apologie if my grammar here isn’t the best, I just feel absolutely traumatised and my anxiety is really bad too. Last night, I began to feel really nauseous, but I didn’t really think much of it until I began to vomit repeatedly throughout the night - I am pretty sure it must have been around 11 times throughout the night. I couldn’t even keep water in my system, as I would just vomit it back up. I also had (and excuse my TMI), bowel issues at the same time. I felt so alone, as my mum just kept on saying for me to not go anywhere near here when I understand and that is fine, but I just need a hug. In 2021, the last time I had a similar episode of vomiting I actually began to hallucinate and I was terrified for my mum to leave my side. I just want to cry because I feel like that now I feel so scared. I didn’t get a good night sleep either, I’m in a lot of pain and I just want my partner, but he’s also got what I’ve currently got too (the Norovirus). I’m aware that I’m probably quite dehydrated, I just feel so scared because it’s brought back a lot of memories and it was at around a very similar time of year too. My Harm OCD is also really heightened, I just don’t know what to do. I’m sorry, I just feel so scared, I think it was the repeated vomitting throughout the night that for some reason has really triggered me so much and I don’t know why? I also wasn’t able to take one of my Pregabalin doses last night too due to the severe vomiting. I just need a big hug , I was doing so well and now I feel like how I did right at the beginning of my OCD journey after what happened to me. I feel like when this happens i go into vulnerable child mode and i feel traumatised. I don’t even have emetophobia?

It’s really awful isn’t it, watching a real life case and then comparing it to yourself because of OCD. I try to remind myself that stuff like that happens in exceptionally rare circumstances and that my OCD would put me on the complete other side of that spectrum of horrible/gory murderers etc.

This is so kind, thank you so much. This has made me remember how far I actually have come. I use the forums as my ‘log book of exposures’, because with my ADHD I just know I’ll forget to even do that in writing or even loose a physical log book like my therapist suggested I do remember completely being in fear of that Dahmer show, it was everywhere and I couldn’t even look at the promos on telly etc. Now, with season two of Monsters with the Menendez Brothers case on Netflix, I can actually watch the whole thing! I must admit. It’s completely triggered me beyond belief, but I’m just happy I can watch a really good series now the whole way through, even if it is completely triggering.

Thank you for your kind reply @Simonsky, this theme just feels really heavy and I can’t seem to shift it, even when I know it is OCD. I do agree with you, I said to myself that’s just categorising a small circle of individuals, but of course my OCD loves to convince me that I am that small circle of individuals. I am home alone tonight, so that’s probably why the thoughts seem really ‘sticky’. I went to the big Tescos with my partner earlier too and was getting harm urges again around random people, I haven’t had that in months. I kind of wish I didn’t watch the stupid series, but I also know it will pass. I just hate having blips I always feel like I’m at square 1 again. This!! I completely relate to this! Especially in my late teens when my Harm OCD themes started. It’s more the urges for me, sometimes they can feel so strong say to like strangle somebody. I feel so alone sometimes that’s why these forums and the groups are so reassuring you’re not the only one.

Hi everybody, I have generally have been doing quite well over the past few months with my Harm OCD. However, I am still learning to manage being neurodivergent with OCD, as I tend to completely hyper fixate on a lot of things, and it can be extremely difficult to shift past things. Plus, it’s difficult because ADHD medication tends to increase OCD & Anxiety which, unfortunately, has been the case for me - so I’m still learning. However, there is one thing that I’ve been struggling with over the past few weeks that I just need to speak about now. At first it started off as just a little celebrity crush on the actor, but now I’m getting so invested in this case I can’t seem to shift my focus onto anything else & it’s absolutely triggered my harm OCD immensely. So, I am sure a lot of people have heard of the ‘Menendez brothers’ case? There is a new TV series about it on Netflix, some of it is fictional for viewings but of course what really happened was absolutely horrendous. The TV series is very good, however, many of my friends/people I know etc, a lot of people are ‘obsessing’ over the actor who plays ‘Lyle’ (and yes he is lovely), but it started off for me as just reading up on the case etc, to knowing what happened, then being scared I’ll turn out like them. It’s so frustrating because with Hollywood etc, everything seems to be completely dramatised anyway, but now there’s another series coming out this Monday on Netflix about what happened in the brothers own words and then in November, we will find out if there will be a retrial due to new evidence that they were both abused. So, in a nutshell, my Harm OCD has managed to convince me I will turn out like them due to how my mum treats me. She doesn’t and has never sexually abused me, but mentally you could agree otherwise. So of course my OCD has latched onto this, seeing as this case seems to be absolutely everywhere at the moment and I can’t escape it (even at work it’s being spoken about.) I can sort of find the humor in me comparing myself to them, because that is completely ridiculous, but OCD can just feel so sticky sometimes, that sometimes It all just feel overwhelmingly real. Plus, of course it’s going to trigger my Harm OCD as they essentially did both kill their parents. I would love some advice on how people I guess who are also neurodivergent, tend to shift their focuses and to not hyper fixate on things that are ultimately triggering to their OCD? I feel like I’m going absolutely crazy, even the Milli Vanilli songs in the show are stuck in my head 24 hours a day, that’s not necessarily OCD I know but even that’s getting frustrating now!

It’s currently 2:25 AM and my senior dog has just woken me up, she gets very confused around this time of night and thinks it’s morning (and her dinner time), so we will always give her some dinner and an extra cuddle so she knows it’s still bedtime. However, I’ve just noticed I’m the only person in the house and it’s made me feel quite anxious, my brother is staying at his mates house after their night out. I feel like there’s a lot of exposures all in one happening, and I feel absolutely exhausted already - hence why I feel as though I can’t be bothered to even react due to my OCD at the moment. I’m going to try and go back to sleep, doing my breathing.

Thank you @snowbear I really do appreciate this, I think sometimes I just need a hug even if it is virtual. OCD is absolutely exhausting, but you’ve watched and been a massive support with my whole OCD journey from when it started a couple of years ago. However, I will say that I have been doing really well and I have had blips like this many times - so I do know that it will get better and pass and I’m not even just saying that. I do feel like absolute cr*p, but that’s gradually got better throughout the day, I think I just automatically go into fight or flight mode now when it comes to OCD - nobody talks about the trauma having OCD causes. It has been really tough today, I think tonight I just want a cuppa and a nice early night.

Yes, I get these kind of thoughts all the time. I find that stress and rumination makes it worse, so when I notice I’m going down that road again, I do try and make an effort to look at my old therapy notes or have another session with my therapist. But I know what it’s like when you have no energy to do so - having OCD is exhausting in itself. ‘Harm OCD’ has personally been my main theme throughout the years, my only friends at one point were the people on this forum (I was scared to do anything, go anywhere or say anything.) It truly is an evil illness. That’s why, when I feel it creeping up again, I automatically go into fight or flight mode, even though I have much more knowledge about OCD now than I ever have. However, one thing that I will say, from somebody who never believed it when people would say this, is that it DOES get better. I think that when the OCD really bad, we naturally get into a panic and try our absolute best to get rid of it, like c’mon, nobody wants to feel cr*p like how OCD makes us feel, but by really accepting it and not pushing it away like what we’ve been taught in CBT & ERP really does help.

Hello, I have been doing really well recently, hence my absence on the forums. I feel as though I have been coping really well, but I’ve had a really bad wobble today and I feel absolutely awful. So, my mum has gone to Cornwall for 4 days with her partner. I didn’t even think twice of this, as she went to Kent last weekend for a break away with him too and I was absolutely fine - until she left with him to Cornwall yesterday. Now, all of a sudden, I’ve had horrendous anxiety, I feel scared, trapped, really unwell, I’ve been in bed all day and I keep getting horrible sensations in my brain - like it’s on fire? For those who don’t know, I have spoken about my relationship with my Mother on the forums before, and it hasn’t been the most healthiest so to speak. She’s very childish, very hurtful with her words, uses me as her ‘therapist’ and has ever since I was a young girl. I always feel at peace when she goes to stay round his in London over the weekend (every weekend) because I’m not being screamed at every 5 minutes, so why am I even feeling like this now? I guess maybe it’s because in my head, she’s quite far away if I need her? But she’s never been any help when it comes to my mental health & my OCD anyway. In fact, when I even speak about my harm OCD she’ll look scared and will start screaming (this isn’t just the one occurrence either.) I do think I have an anxious attachment to my mum, which I am about to start working on in Therapy. When my OCD was absolutely awful, I’d still go to my mum for reassurance, even though every time I’d go to her I’d never get that emotional comfort that I wanted - which is why I’d come to the forums. I feel embarrassed for feeling this way, because in my head for some reason, I feel like I can’t cope when my mum is really far away from me? And I have no idea why that feeling won’t go! Like I'm 22 now! I feel horrendous today and have been non-stop crying, I booked today off work a few weeks ago to get some house stuff done, but I’ve just been in bed all day feeling absolutely awful. It’s like, when she’s away, all of the trauma from what I’ve been through comes up too and I get really bad PTSD symptoms and derealisation (like I’m floating). I just need a virtual hug, today’s been so horrible. I’m going to try and make myself a bite to eat but I’m not too hungry, I also need to wash my hair so even if I achieve that today I’m proud of myself. I just feel so embarrassed and tired as I know when she gets back, this feeling will go away. I haven’t felt this way in a long long time, like my Nan and grandad are only around the corner, my brothers at home with me, my dad lives 45 mins away and my partner and his dad (who is very understanding with mental health, due to his own struggles), only live 15 minutes away, so I have lots of people around me?

Hi everybody, (Long time no speak on here. ) - I hope everybody is ok. I must say that I have been doing very well so far! I’ve been to the cinemas a few times now, been on lots of outdoor dates with my partner, I have been going to London again and i even attended quite a big festival last month - it was amazing! Don’t get me wrong, I have had a lot setbacks here and there, but they have been manageable. I’ve also been keeping up with my therapy sessions which has helped too. I’ve also tried out Schema Therapy, which was great and I learnt a lot from. However, I have had a setback today which i just needed to speak to people about, as it has triggered quite a lot of memories, most in particular where I’d be dealing with my OCD alone and without support when I was a lot younger. So, last night, my mum came into my room telling me to stop talking and looked quite concerned, but I don’t remember much I just remember going back to sleep. I was then told this morning that I was sleep talking, saying stuff like ‘I’m going to be late for work!’ To which I repeated over, as well as ‘my alarms haven’t gone off’ - this was all according to my mum. Of course, my OCD did in fact interfere, saying ‘well is that all I said?’ And of course, the cycle just spiralled from then on…. Don’t get me wrong, I have been extremely stressed from work. I work with a lady who watches my every move, waiting until I do something wrong to tell my manager. She also likes to question everything I say - like it’s always a debate, makes me feel terribly on edge. We’re also currently going through consultations at work, which will be leading to some redundancy’s, so that’s another thing adding on to my stress levels - hence why i was probably sleep talking about work in the first place. However, my mum and my brother jokingly mentioned that I said I wanted to kill her in my sleep and as you can imagine with harm OCD, that’s completely set me back. When I was younger, around 13/14, my OCD convinced me that I’d sleep walk and kill someone, or I’d sleep talk something incredibly awful. So I’d put sharp objects in the way of my bed to my door so if I was to sleep walk, I’d step on something sharp to wake myself up. Even writing that is extremely triggering for me and I’m getting upset even writing this. but hearing them say that has triggered me more than they will ever understand. My mum then went onto say that they were only joking, but my OCD brain is now going ‘do you really believe her though?’, convincing me that I’m going to say or do something terrible in my sleep, confirming my very old OCD fears. I tried to explain to my mum that this has triggered me and has made me very paranoid, but of course she ended up screaming at me and making the situation about her and of course yet again like always, I am devastated by her reaction. I’ve tried to explain my OCD many times to my mum and have always had that same reaction, so I don’t know why I still sometimes try to do so? I guess I just needed some reassurance that she doesn’t think I’m a bad person, because she is the type to be scared if I told her the full extent of harm OCD and not believe that it is in fact a real thing, a real diagnosed disorder, even if she is my own mum. She then got on the phone to her new boyfriend laughing and joking, while I’m upstairs crying about what happened. I’m 22 years old and I’ve been on these forums since I was a teenager, I’ve wrote about similar things many times, so I don’t know why I still just want that reassurance from my mum? I thought I was accepting that it’s just not like that with her? Now I’m in this cycle of ‘I’m going to kill my mum in my sleep’ and it’s ****** horrible! reminding me of when I had nobody. OCD has absolutely traumatised my life like it has for many others and people are so unwilling to learn about it, even sometimes your own closed family members. I’m not this evil person that OCD likes to convince me I am, in fact I’m the total opposite and would never hurt a fly - I know that deep down. But my gosh is it difficult.

It’s definitely my harm ocd, I’m scared I’ll hurt someone and then get arrested abroad and it’ll be on the news and I’ll be in a prison aboard…. Ya see where this is going = ruminating I miss going on holiday, especially Portugal, it was my favourite place. I feel like I am in a position to take that leap of faith, but then I don’t know if maybe I should have a weekend away in the UK first to test the waters?

Hi everybody, I’m very bad at replying back on posts so I just wanted to say thank you to those for the advice given on my last post I can’t seem to find it but I always look back on the advice given to me on here to help on my OCD journey So…. Long story short, I’m at the stage in my OCD journey where I’m so angry at OCD for taking so much away from me! I used to love going on holiday, then I couldn’t go outside my own village. However, I am slowly venturing out and I am proud to say I managed to travel an hour and a half from my home for a football day out with my partner! I know it sounds so small, but last year Summer would not have been able to do that. Now my ADHD brain wants to impulsively go on holiday abroad and just have so much fun! I tend to do exposure’s quite impulsively (thanks OCD), but I feel a sense of the old me if that makes sense? I’ve been listening to kiss FM whilst making dinner and Marvin Humes is doing a set in Ibiza with all the old school summer songs and I’m getting really upset. I’d love to go, I would happily and impulsively go tonight if my ADHD self could have her way but unfortunately, OCD me = no (and of course work etc.) I just want to be young and have fun, my partner is going to visit his dad who has a villa in Spain for 2 weeks soon and he has asked me to go, but I just can’t but I want to so muchit’s like that OCD barrier is absolutely huge. I do however, have an exposure plan. We’re all going to Norfolk for a weekend away in August which will be a good start, plus it’s only 2 hours away from where I live. Then, if I’m ok with that, I’ll just go from there. But does anybody else just get so frustrated and angry at that OCD barrier, I’ve kind of got the idea of going to Ibiza next year stuck in my head so I definitely see the progress I’ve made living alongside OCD even though the flare ups still get to me here and there. But I just want to have fun! I miss having fun!!